Sunday, August 24, 2014

Meet The Press – August 24, 2014


Host: Chris Jansing

Guests:

Gov. Jay Nixon (D-MO)

Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY)

Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI)

Kasim Reed (D-Atlanta)

Sir Peter Westmacott (British Amb. to the U.S.)

Kier Simmons

Richard Engel

David Ignatius

Helene Cooper

Gwen Ifill

Michael Gerson



Jansing: good morning – omg ISIS 

is on the attack!



Simmons: it's a race to save another

American held hostage held in

their evil clutches



Jansing: oh my



Simmons: there are Europeans in

ISIS including a guy with British

accent which is usually so classy

but also occasionally evil



Jansing: that's true



Simmons: there are 70 Americans

in ISIS and over 500 Brits!



Jansing: blimey



Simmons: they use iPhones to scare

people with their barbarism



Jansing: that is terrifying



Simmons: some extremist British

even blame America for Foley's beheading



Jansing: that's just wrong



Simmons: some of the recruits are

psychopaths and some are just naïve idiots



Jansing: can British spies find these people



Simmons: they can try but it's not so easy



Jansing: not even 007?



Simmons: possibly not Chris



[ break ]



Jansing: Congressman how panicked

should the average American be over ISIS?



Rogers: ISIS is a real threat and

will likely invade America very soon



Jansing: is there evidence we

are about to attacked?



Rogers: yes ISIS got kicked out of

al-qaeda because they wanted to

attack America and al-Qeada objected

because they want to focus on local

goods and farm-to-table mass killings



Jansing: ok that's weird



Rogers: it's all ISIS talks about

and you can believe whatever they say



Jansing: but aren't we safer

than we were on 9/11?



Rogers: yes but we need to

take the fight to them!



Jansing: strong words Mike



Rogers: they are one plane

ticket away from killing Americans!



Jansing: do they have frequent flyer miles?



Rogers: omg you're right – we're doomed!



Jansing: so what do we do about

it besides bombing which we

are already doing



Rogers: we need to get the good

Arabs on board with attacking ISIS



Jansing: I see



Rogers: the President needs

to get tough with terrorists!



Jansing: can the US defeat ISIS?



Rogers: yes we can – but Obama is a wimp!



Jansing: oooh



[ break ]



Jansing: Welcome Ambassador –

can the Brits identify the lunatic

who killed James Foley?





Westmacott: it's not about this

one chap it's all the British

blokes who joined ISIS who

I might add are naughty Muslims



Engel: they call themselves the

Islamic State and in a way they

do have a state now – they have

land, thousands of fighters,

millions of dollars and American weapons



Jansing: my god it's like West Virginia

with classier accents



Jansing: are they going to take

over Israel or the U.S. first?



Cooper: calm down Chris



Jansing: but America is

about to be invaded



Cooper: it was only after U.S.

air strikes that ISIS even talked

about killing Americans



Jansing: well the deed is done



Cooper: the U.S. used to laugh at ISIS



Jansing: well no one is laughing now



Cooper: sure but now everyone's

panicking like the U.S. is about to

occupied by a few thousand crazy guys



Jansing: but they have guns



Cooper: so do we



Jansing: what is Britain

doing to crush ISIS?



Westmacott: we're sending air drops of food



Jansing: dear god British food –

haven't the victims of ISIS suffered enough?



Westmacott: the soggy chips

break the fall of the fish



Jansing: problem solved then



Westmacott: we're also providing

re-fueling tankers for the inept Iraqi military



Jansing: that's not going to cut it Petey



Westmacott: we're using diplomacy too



Jansing: come on Ambassador –

they're beheading people!



Westmacott: but we're not being

invited to do more



Jansing: invited?! no wonder ISIS is winning!



Jansing: another American is still held

hostage and Richard Engel

you were also a hostage



Engel: I was taken at the same

time as Foley two years ago



Jansing: what about their ransom demand?



Engel: ISIS was not negotiating seriously



an American is too big a propaganda

prize to sell



Jansing: USA!



Engel: the U.S. is stopping bombing

at a Syrian border that doesn't

really exist anymore



[ break ]



Jansing: I went with Rand Paul to Guatemala



Jansing: he volunteered to do

eye surgery on blind people there



Jansing: it's charity but it could help

his potential run for the White House



Paul: Chris this is who I am –

I give and give and give



Jansing: but you don't always

bring camera crews



Paul: hey no one forced you to come



Jansing: Paul brought his own

PAC and film crew and advertising

campaign complete with drones

for that dramatic overhead shot



Paul: be sure to get my good side while

I operate on this telegenic Guatemalan



Jansing: Rand what's your

take on Ferguson?



Paul: there is a very good chance



what happened in Ferguson has

nothing to do with race



Jansing: maybe



Paul: but regardless we need

to re-think war on drugs



Jansing: what's with the police

armoured up like troops



Paul: are terrorists really going to

invade Fargo and would it be so

bad if they did – ha ha just kidding



Jansing: good one Rand



Paul: Hillary Clinton is going to get

us involved in another middle eastern

war like those Democrats always do



Jansing: while I was there we saw the doctors

transforming the lives of blind people –

now they can see and escape to America

where Rand Paul will send them back



[ break ]



Jansing: is Paul too unemotional?





Reporter: yes at times he's

unemotional and detached and

kind of an asshole like all doctors



Jansing: even Doctor Who?



Reporter: he made Nixon look nice!



Jansing: Senator Paul met with

the President of Guatemala

and told him all their problems

are Obama's fault



Ignatius: The Beltway hates him

because he is an isolationist but

then he visited another country

which blew my mind



Gerson: if we followed his advice

and eliminated all foreign aid

millions of children around the

world would suffer terribly



Jansing: in-person he comes

across as kind of a jerk



Ifill: the more important point is

the split in the GOP – you just had

Mike Rogers on calling Obama

a wimp and here's Paul saying

Hillary Clinton is too war-like



[ break ]



Jansing: welcome Governor –

why are the police in your state

dressed like they getting ready for

a land war in Asia?



Nixon: that's a good question



Jansing: what went wrong in Ferguson?



Nixon: don't you mean why are

things in Ferguson going to so

well under my stellar leadership?



Jansing: no



Nixon: okay then



Jansing: are you worried about what wwill happen if the police officer

is not charged with a crime?



Nixon: no because I have faith in

the peaceful people of Ferguson



Jansing: Black people think

this is a biased investigation



Nixon: yes but there's a chance

we will get it right



Jansing: why not replace

the District Attorney?



Nixon: well he was elected



Jansing: do you think the people trust him?



Nixon: why not – he's a middle-aged

white man



Jansing: so is Homer Simpson



Nixon: oh my god I'm missing the marathon!



[ runs off the set ]



Jansing: thanks for coming Jay



[ break ]



Jansing: Panel what do

we make of Ferguson?



Reed: we must remember

a child was killed



Jansing: ok but what

about the protests?



Reed: Holder's visit was vital at

providing calm by promising

transparency and a federal investigation

so we have two chances at justice



Jansing: questions are raised

about the President's tone



Ifill: we have a racial problem in this

country and one speech by Obama

isn't going to fix it



Jansing: yes but we have this sense

that Obama could fix everything

with one speech



Ifill: young people are taking the

lead and demanding change



Gerson: I think Obama has been

very good – after all we don't know

what happened with this specific

shooting so are there limits to what he can do



Jansing: Joe Biden says you can't 

negotiate with ISIS



Ignatius: it's tough because we

have to stop ISIS but Americans

don't want another middle east war



Jansing: but they're so violent



Ignatius: so is ISIS



Jansing: um right



Ignatius: Obama is getting

the right balance between

mindless militarism and undue caution



Ifill: there's no easy answer here



Jansing: the question is raised

that we are sending the wrong message

that we are not terrified of ISIS

because Obama played golf



Gerson: the Presidents I worked

for deserved their vacations but

Obama clearly doesn't care when

an American is beheaded



Reed: Congress is on vacation!

The media is on vacation!

All of America is on vacation!



Jansing: whoa Kasim



Reed: the war-weary American

people are going to have to

suck it up and invade Syria



[ break ]



Jansing: welcome Reverend Sharpton

what are you going to say to 

calm Ferguson down



Sharpton: we need to deal with

aggressive policing of low-level

crimes or this will happen again



Jansing: we've seen this with

Trayvon Martin and Staten Island

what will it take fix all the



racial problems in America?



Sharpton: new laws and action by

the federal government – although

the unprecedented visit by the

sitting Attorney General was a good start



Jansing: people are angry now



Sharpton: change takes time –

after all the civil rights movement

took decades



Jansing: you are a surrogate for

Barack Obama to learn what

black people are thinking



Sharpton: I'm not a surrogate

I'm just a humble activist

and talk show host



Jansing: but is Obama

doing enough?



Sharpton: the President can't

get too involved with looking

like he's interfering with a

local criminal case



Jansing: what would justice be in this case?



Sharpton: fairness – is that too much to ask?



Jansing: generally yes



Sharpton: I thought so



Jansing: and that's another

episode of Meet The Press


This Week with George Stephanopoulos – August 24, 2014


Guests:
Brian Ross 
Alex Marquardt
Martha Raddatz
General John Allen (Ret.)
Richard Clarke
Rukimini Callimachi
Martha Raddatz
Rep. Mike McCaul (R-TX)
Rep. William Lacy (D-MO)
Ray Kelly
Pierre Thomas

Stephanopoulos: good morning –
holy cow there was a big earthquake in Napa

Reporter: yes George – no injuries
yet but there is lots of broken
glass in downtown Napa
Stephanopoulos: oh my god the wine bottles!

Reporter: yes it's tragic but only
bottles of merlot were lost

Stephanopoulos: oh thank god

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: holy shit ISIS is
more extreme than al-qaeda!

Ross: they are planning attacks in
a small town in America near you! 

Stephanopoulos: yikes 

Ross: the murderer has a
distinctive British accent 

Stephanopoulos: that narrows it down


Ross: the US will not pay any
ransom to a terrorists group 

Stephanopoulos: fuck yeah

Ross: but the hostage families
want the ransom paid 

Stephanopoulos: oh then 
we should pay


Ross: on the other hand ISIS was
demanding an absurd 130 million dollars 

Stephanopoulos: is that a lot 
- I'm out of touch 

Stephanopoulos: should the U.S. bomb Syria?

Marquardt: the Kurds say they can

defeat ISIS with American guns and bombs

Stephanopoulos: oh good

Marquardt: but while ISIS lost the
Mosul dam but they are still strong

Stephanopoulos: wily fuckers

Marquardt: ISIS has 10,000 fighters 
and $100 million

Stephanopoulos: pretty sweet

Marquardt: U.S. officials say this 
will be a long fight

Stephanopoulos: terrific

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: General how can
the U.S. destroy ISIS?

Allen: the whole region has to
go all-in on eliminating them

Stephanopoulos: does that mean
working with the evil dictators 
of Syria and Iran

Allen: yes but we should make
clear that we don't like doing
it while we do it

Stephanopoulos: I see

Allen: after all Assad has turned
a blind eye to ISIS

Stephanopoulos: will it take 10,000 US troops?

Allen: maybe but we can send
special forces – those guys are bad-ass

Stephanopoulos: wow

Allen: we also can provide massive
American weapons to shadowy
groups which will probably not backfire

Stephanopoulos: what is the
White House planning?

Raddatz: the White House wanted
to leave 10,000 advisors in Iraq but
that corrupt idiot wouldn't let us

Stephanopoulos: should we work
with our sworn enemies to defeat
our mortal enemies?

Clarke: frankly yes – we have to
apologize to Assad and trying to
assassinate him and bomb Syria

McCaul: ISIS killed an American
journalist and are now planning
to invade the United States and 
take over Washington, D.C. 
which would endanger hundreds  
of innocent lobbyists

Stephanopoulos: so should Congress
declare war on ISIS?
McCaul: yes we'll get on it as soon
we're done with our five week vacation

Stephanopoulos: got it

McCaul: I agree with the general
we need to get Saudi Arabia on
board with bombing ISIS

Stephanopoulos: excellent


McCaul: we need to kill every member
of ISIS before they invade America
Stephanopoulos: is that really
going to happen?

McCaul: yes – there are Americans
with U.S. passports in ISIS

Stephanopoulos: good lord

McCaul: they even have access
to Facebook and twitter!

Clarke: the U.S. is going to be attacked
and overthrown and our children
will all speak whatever language
guys in ISIS speak

Stephanopoulos: apparently they speak English

Raddatz: there's no imminent threat
they're too busy forming their
imaginary caliphate


Stephanopoulos: Europe is bankrolling
ISIS with massive ransom payments

Callimachi: yes they've given ISIS
hundreds of millions over the years

Stephanopoulos: is Europe re-thinking
their strategy of encouraging kidnappings
and financing terrorists?

Callimachi: no - to the Europeans
it's strictly business

Stephanopoulos: ISIS is rich!


Clarke: yes well they invaded lands
with banks with big vaults of cash

Stephanopoulos: amazing

Clarke: no one wants to lose a
loved one but if the US pays ransoms
we will all of us be at risk for 
being kidnapped by ISIS

Stephanopoulos: cripes

[ break ]

Thomas: the people of Ferguson
don't trust the police

Stephanopoulos: but they are in authority

Thomas: 67% of Ferguson are black
but they only have three black cops

Stephanopoulos: so not a lot

Thomas: folks protested police
injustice so of course more white
cops spent a week arresting more black folks

Stephanopoulos: did that solve everything?

Thomas: the U.S. Attorney General
had to come to calm things down

Stephanopoulos: ok so now problem solved

Thomas: no we keep seeing riots
after unarmed black kids are
shot and killed by white cops

Stephanopoulos: every now and then

Thomas: one solution is police 
wearing body cameras

Stephanopoulos: what's the 
future for Ferguson?

Clay: Attorney General Holder helped

calm things down by promising a fair investigation

Stephanopoulos: amazing how there
are all-white cops there are in
black towns and cities

Clay: yes they don't understand the culture

Stephanopoulos: should the police 
have military weapons?

Clay: they do need them to fight 
 off a terrorist attack but clear 
 it's gone much too far



Stephanopoulos: Ray Kelly do the 
police need to be armed like they
are ready for combat?

Kelly: this is a terrific program 
in a post 9/11 world 

Stephanopoulos: ok never mind then

Kelly: on the other hand we need to
ask if every small town needs it's 
own tank and stealth bomber

Thomas: cameras recording police
would help us know what actually
happened during these repeated incidents

Kelly: why does St Louis county have
60 different police departments?
You know how many New York
fucking City has? One! One motherfucking 
police department! One fuckers!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone