Guests:
Jack Lew (White House Chief of Staff)
Rick Santorum
Bill Burton
Joe Scarborough
E.J. Dionne
Peggy Noonan
*******************************
Gregory: OMG there’s a national
firestorm over the pill
Audience: Shocking
Gregory: Mitt Romney won Maine and
the CPAC straw poll!
Audience: aw poor Ricky
Gregory: Controversial! Firestorm!
Birth Control! How did Obama botch this??
Lew: I heard you were a moron
but apparently I had no idea
Gregory: this is a huge social issue after
all the Catholic church has great moral authority
Lew: wow you really are all kinds of stupid
Gregory: there are lots of Catholic voters!
Lew: there are lots of women too Fluffy
Gregory: not on my show
Lew: I noticed
Gregory: was this political malpractice?
Lew: yes fighting for women will be such
a disaster for Obama
Gregory: the Bishops of America have
rejected Obama’s plan for women’s health
Lew: have they really?
Gregory: they say this intrudes into
their most deeply held belief
Lew: their right to cover up a worldwide
child rape scandal?
Gregory: um no
Lew: thought not
Gregory: Rick Santorum says this is about
freedom of speech and freedom of religion
Lew: Rick Santorum also believes all
contraception is wrong
Gregory: maybe he’s right
Lew: he’s a fucking dumbass
Gregory: Jobs are up and the stock market
are improving which is a paradox
because I hate Obama
Lew: yes it’s a true conundrum
Gregory: I try not to let it trouble
my fluffy head
Lew: Congress should still cut
payroll taxes!
Gregory: what will the exact
unemployment number be in November?
Lew: I means this sincerely Fluffy -
get some therapy
Gregory: why doesn’t the Senate
pass a budget?
Lew: because the Tea Party is insane
Gregory: how exactly do you run the
government without any money?
Lew: Last week Obama sold Alaska
to China
Gregory: the deficit is really really high!
Lew: because of the George W.
Bush Recession®
Gregory: shouldn’t the United States of
America embrace austerity?
Lew: a recession is not time for
austerity you idiot
Gregory: shouldn’t the deficit be the
number one priority?
Lew: no - it should be cutting payroll
taxes and get this economy going
[ break ]
Gregory: Ricky should women
use birth control?
Santorum: it’s outrageous that the
government can tell a religious
insurance company they must give
women a pill that murders unimplanted eggs
Gregory: wow
Santorum: even liberals are aghast
at this merciless murder of our
precious bodily fluids
Gregory: you seem to really hate birth control
Santorum: I weep for every happy sperm
that fails to meet a lovely egg
Gregory: you say that if Obama is
reelected he will make masturbation legal
Santorum: Barack Obama thinks that’s
he much smarter than you or me
Gregory: he may have a point there
Santorum: Dodd-Frank is fascism!
Gregory: what about gay marriage
Santorum: my campaign is about liberty
and also taking away gay rights
Gregory: what else is it about?
Santorum: reaching down and around
Gregory: I’m with you
Santorum: I also want to cut taxes for the rich
Gregory: that’s good
Santorum: The Ninth Circuit said the
California Constitution is unconstitutional
which is absurd
Gregory: makes sense
Santorum: judges here decided what
violates the U.S. Constitution which is
not the role of judges
Gregory: you’re on a roll Rickster
Santorum: we must respect the people
when they decide what rights other
people should have
Gregory: you say feminism is about
telling women work is better than not
working which isn’t true
Santorum: my wife was a nurse and lawyer
and got very upset when radical feminists
attacked her for living with me
Gregory: that is so sad
Santorum: we should fight for women’s
choices and respect and affirm their choices!
Gregory: except for birth control
Santorum: correct
Gregory: and gay marriage
Santorum: also that
Gregory: and serving in combat
Santorum: that too also
Gregory: gotcha
Santorum: I don’t know who would want
women in the infantry anyway
Gregory: do you think women should
be allowed to have jobs?
Santorum: maybe like a kindergarten
teacher or something
Gregory: won’t your campaign be
over on Super Tuesday?
Santorum: this week I’m going to talk
about drilling into the glory hole
Gregory: good plan
Santorum: I crushed Mitt Romney in Colorado
Gregory: so you are better than him
in the mile-high club
Santorum: that’s right Fluffy
Gregory: could you make conservatives
uncomfortable?
Santorum: One church! One people!
One nation!
Gregory: good god
Santorum: I am very bottom up!
Gregory: you have brought back
the sweater vest
Santorum: people do think I am too clean
Gregory: that’s not what I read on Google
Santorum: LOL
[ break ]
Gregory: let’s talk about banning the pill
Dionne: Obama was warned for months
that liberal Catholics hate paying for
safe sex which is very icky
Noonan: this is about more than the pill
- it’s also about bishops who love
fallopian tubes
Gregory: I see
Dionne: the Catholic Church really
wants to ban the pill you know
Noonan: this is the best moment for the
mother Church since that pesky
child molesting thing
Scarborough: Catholics also find
IUDs immoral
Burton: Obama’s original position
was actually very popular
Gregory: so why did he make this
pseudo-compromise?
Burton: because that’s what leaders do
Scarborough: gay rights and contraception
are bad for Obama and worse for Romney
Gregory: well of course
Dionne: Conservatives don’t trust Mitt
Scarborough: but he’s a severe conservative!
Dionne: Obama should be ashamed
for not doing whatever Catholics want
Noonan: it also proves that Obamacare
is very controversial because it’s a
bullying law that forces people to act
against their conscience
Gregory: unlike all other laws or
government action
Noonan: right
Gregory: Mitt Romney says Obama is
the last gasp of crazy liberalism
Burton: Obama ran as a moderate and
he’s governed as a moderate which makes
his critics insane
Scarborough: the right-wing has to
decide whether Obama is a golf-playing
elitist or a Joseph Stalin fascist
Gregory: Obama compromised on
having a SuperPAC
Burton: you’re an idiot
Noonan: Obama is in thrall to mad-dog
extreme radical pill-popping NARAL activists
Gregory: no more bloody marys in the
green room for Peggy
Dionne: I know socialists dear Peggy
and Obama is no socialist
Noonan: but the unused sperm!
Dionne: hey it took three years to
get Barack to talk about inequality
Noonan: Bill Clinton would never let
semen go to waste goddammit
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**********************************************
Sunday, February 12, 2012
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 12, 2012
Guests:
Jack Lew (White House Chief of Staff)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rick Santorum
*********************
Stephanopoulos: Hi Jack
Lew: Hi
Stephanopoulos: you are not good
enough for Catholic bishops
Lew: um yeah
Stephanopoulos: they say the
government cannot make them
cooperate with a policy they don’t like
Lew: well that’s stupid
Stephanopoulos: contraception is
incredibly expensive
Lew: babies aren’t free either Stephy
Stephanopoulos: no but they are cute
Lew: also women deserve proper health care
Stephanopoulos: won’t paying for the pill
bankrupt insurance companies?
Lew: yeah sure it will George
Stephanopoulos: let’s talk about the
debt which is very high
Lew: the debt is high because of the
George W. Bush Recession®
Stephanopoulos: also the high price
of condoms
Lew: the economy is turning around and
some people think that’s a good thing
Stephanopoulos: not in Washington
Lew: I know that
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says we
should cut taxes and also you guys
are ruining America’s military
Lew: the rich just need to pay their
fair share
Stephanopoulos: will you make
John Boehner cry by not calling him
on the phone?
Lew: they can either raise taxes on the
poor or not - their choice
Stephanopoulos: why not call him
on the phone?
Lew: hey Obama is busy - that guy needs
to stop sniveling and do his job
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Hi Paul
Ryan: if you cut taxes on the poor you
are taking money away from old people
Stephanopoulos: this tax must be paid for
- unlike other tax cuts
Ryan: exactly - it’s so so sad
Stephanopoulos: do you really want to
turn Medicare into a voucher program?
Ryan: under Obamacare 15 bureaucrats
will decide whether you live or die
Stephanopoulos: oh dear
Ryan: under my plan everyone under
age 55 will get screwed in a way they
will greatly enjoy
Stephanopoulos: that’s something to
look forward to
Ryan: we are trying to save Medicare
by destroying it
Stephanopoulos: you hate the pill
Ryan: Obama’s plan is a fig leaf and
Catholics hate those
Stephanopoulos: that’s true
Ryan: Catholic insurers will have to pay
to allow women to have guilt-free sex
which is totally immoral
Stephanopoulos: Congress is less
popular than Nixon when he
committing felonies
Ryan: yes I don’t understand it when
we’ve voted to privatize Medicare
while the Senate isn’t doing anything
Stephanopoulos: it’s a total mystery
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Rick
Santorum is the new front runner
Santorum: hidilley-ho neighbor
Stephanopoulos: can you win in Michigan?
Santorum: no but it’s a two-person race now
Stephanopoulos: Mitt says you are a
loser and a liberal
Santorum: he enacted RomneyCare and
supported Cap n’ Trade which is fascist
and therefore liberal
Stephanopoulos: he was to the left
of Ted Kennedy
Santorum: yes and only I lost my Senate
race because I was too conservative
Stephanopoulos: yes but you supported
Amtrak which is essentially Communist
Santorum: I like the minimum wage
but when you index it you might as
well put Joseph Stalin in office
Stephanopoulos: you supported
Sonia Sotomayor
Santorum: true she’s a racist
Latina but she’s also nice person
Stephanopoulos: you say women
shouldn’t be in combat because
men are too emotional
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a
lawyer and she feels that society looks
down their nose at her for quitting
her careers to raise all of our
non-contraceptive children
Stephanopoulos: so you wrote a whole
book just to whine about that people
weren’t respecting the choices
your wife made?
Santorum: right - society needs to affirm
decisions women make except when
they have sex
Stephanopoulos: can you beat Obama?
Santorum: yes because I’m not an
opportunistic rich idiot like Romney
or a total psychopath like Newt Gingrich
Stephanopoulos: good luck with that Rick
**********************************
Jack Lew (White House Chief of Staff)
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rick Santorum
*********************
Stephanopoulos: Hi Jack
Lew: Hi
Stephanopoulos: you are not good
enough for Catholic bishops
Lew: um yeah
Stephanopoulos: they say the
government cannot make them
cooperate with a policy they don’t like
Lew: well that’s stupid
Stephanopoulos: contraception is
incredibly expensive
Lew: babies aren’t free either Stephy
Stephanopoulos: no but they are cute
Lew: also women deserve proper health care
Stephanopoulos: won’t paying for the pill
bankrupt insurance companies?
Lew: yeah sure it will George
Stephanopoulos: let’s talk about the
debt which is very high
Lew: the debt is high because of the
George W. Bush Recession®
Stephanopoulos: also the high price
of condoms
Lew: the economy is turning around and
some people think that’s a good thing
Stephanopoulos: not in Washington
Lew: I know that
Stephanopoulos: Paul Ryan says we
should cut taxes and also you guys
are ruining America’s military
Lew: the rich just need to pay their
fair share
Stephanopoulos: will you make
John Boehner cry by not calling him
on the phone?
Lew: they can either raise taxes on the
poor or not - their choice
Stephanopoulos: why not call him
on the phone?
Lew: hey Obama is busy - that guy needs
to stop sniveling and do his job
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Hi Paul
Ryan: if you cut taxes on the poor you
are taking money away from old people
Stephanopoulos: this tax must be paid for
- unlike other tax cuts
Ryan: exactly - it’s so so sad
Stephanopoulos: do you really want to
turn Medicare into a voucher program?
Ryan: under Obamacare 15 bureaucrats
will decide whether you live or die
Stephanopoulos: oh dear
Ryan: under my plan everyone under
age 55 will get screwed in a way they
will greatly enjoy
Stephanopoulos: that’s something to
look forward to
Ryan: we are trying to save Medicare
by destroying it
Stephanopoulos: you hate the pill
Ryan: Obama’s plan is a fig leaf and
Catholics hate those
Stephanopoulos: that’s true
Ryan: Catholic insurers will have to pay
to allow women to have guilt-free sex
which is totally immoral
Stephanopoulos: Congress is less
popular than Nixon when he
committing felonies
Ryan: yes I don’t understand it when
we’ve voted to privatize Medicare
while the Senate isn’t doing anything
Stephanopoulos: it’s a total mystery
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Rick
Santorum is the new front runner
Santorum: hidilley-ho neighbor
Stephanopoulos: can you win in Michigan?
Santorum: no but it’s a two-person race now
Stephanopoulos: Mitt says you are a
loser and a liberal
Santorum: he enacted RomneyCare and
supported Cap n’ Trade which is fascist
and therefore liberal
Stephanopoulos: he was to the left
of Ted Kennedy
Santorum: yes and only I lost my Senate
race because I was too conservative
Stephanopoulos: yes but you supported
Amtrak which is essentially Communist
Santorum: I like the minimum wage
but when you index it you might as
well put Joseph Stalin in office
Stephanopoulos: you supported
Sonia Sotomayor
Santorum: true she’s a racist
Latina but she’s also nice person
Stephanopoulos: you say women
shouldn’t be in combat because
men are too emotional
Santorum: my wife is a nurse and a
lawyer and she feels that society looks
down their nose at her for quitting
her careers to raise all of our
non-contraceptive children
Stephanopoulos: so you wrote a whole
book just to whine about that people
weren’t respecting the choices
your wife made?
Santorum: right - society needs to affirm
decisions women make except when
they have sex
Stephanopoulos: can you beat Obama?
Santorum: yes because I’m not an
opportunistic rich idiot like Romney
or a total psychopath like Newt Gingrich
Stephanopoulos: good luck with that Rick
**********************************
Sunday, February 05, 2012
Meet The Press - February 5, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Representative Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
****************************
Gregory: good morning Newt Gingrich
Gingrich: I have lost 4 out of 5 states and
am very happy where we are
Gregory: you are losing every state and
in every category
Gingrich: I am hoping to do well in Georgia
where I am from
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: the safety net should be a
trampoline made from real tramps!
Gregory: you spend all your time
complaining that Romney is mean
Gingrich: well he is!
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Obama has caused 13% unemployment
Gregory: ah
Gingrich: Obama is timid and should declare
war on Iran
Gregory: can you think of anything you don’t
like about Romney
Gingrich: he’s pro-abortion, pro-taxes,
anti-jobs, and his health care plan kills people
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I would save Social Security by
getting rid of it
Gregory: oh
Gingrich: I would boldly go where no man
has gone before
Gregory: fantastic
Gingrich: the minimum wage kills black people
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I will eliminate all taxes on everyone
Gregory: unemployment is dropping
Gingrich: that doesn’t include people who are
so depressed that a black guy is in the
White House they just stopped looking for work
Gregory: what if unemployment keeps dropping?
Gingrich: then we will blame Obama for the debt
and high gas prices
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: also Obama is to blame for all the
changes in the world over the past half century
except the good ones
Gregory: interesting
Gingrich: Obama has declared war on the
Catholic church
Gregory: He's launched drone attacks
on the Vatican?
Gingrich: Obama has seized all church properties
across the land
Gregory: he did?
Gingrich: Obama’s attacks on Orthodox Jews
is a profound moment in American history
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: true religious liberty means
controlling the government
Gregory: would there be religious freedom
on the moon?
Gingrich: yes for Christians
Gregory: but we are in an age of Austerity
Gregory: fuck you Fluffy
Gingrich: look I only said we need to go to the
moon to pander to some idiots in Florida
Gregory: but you yammer on about big spending
Gingrich: why do you hate America?
Gregory: I don’t hate most Americans
Gingrich: the Chinese are taking over
outer space
Gregory: do you loathe Mitt Romney as
much as it seems?
Gingrich: I refuse to answer such a silly
question about that lying motherfucker
Gregory: you like the Giants but New York
is the capital of media elite!
Gingrich: please allow me to pander to
the voters of Wisconsin
[ break ]
Gregory: unemployment is dramatically dropping
Daniels: Obama has failed to reverse the
job losses from the last Republican Presidency
so we should put another Republican
in the White House
Bloomberg: the economy is getting better
but the deficit is high
Gregory: oh noes!
Bloomberg: we must cut spending
and raise taxes
Gregory: so you’re saying raising taxes on
rich people is a bad idea
Bloomberg: look we’re all in this together and
since everyone benefits let’s not bicker about
who is fabulously rich and who is
struggling to survive
Patrick: we have to invest in America -
and by the way Massachusetts is kicking
job killing Indiana’s ass
Daniels: Barack Obama caused the recession
in 2007 and costs jobs ever since
Gregory: we’ve been adding jobs for
24 straight months
Daniels: lalalalalala I can’t hear you
Bloomberg: regardless of what happened in
the past we must not investigate what
caused the recession
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: on the other hand all Republicans
do is criticize which is no way to win
a football game
Gregory: Mitch your candidates suck
Daniels: that is true
Gregory: you may be stuck with Mitt Romney
Daniels: oh god [ sobs ]
Gregory: you must be happy Deval
Patrick: these GOP candidates frighten me
Gregory: Mayor you say you oppose
criminals using guns
Bloomberg: hey remember when a
Congresswoman got shot?
Gregory: oh yeah that was so inspiring
Bloomberg: no it was terrible
Gregory: I suppose you could see it that way
Bloomberg: more Americans have been shot
than were killed in World War II
Gregory: should we have a victory parade for
Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans
Bloomberg: the wars aren’t over Greggers
Gregory: maybe not but parades are fun
Gregory: the Super Bowl predicts the election!
Daniels: Fluffy you are a true idiot
[ break ]
Gregory: Romney is killing!
Brooks: the anti-catholic media is ignoring
Obama’s attack on all religious people
Maddow: people generally like birth control
Castellanos: Obama has taken away all
freedom of religion
Becerra: the Catholic church shouldn’t be
running insurance companies without
complying with the law
Brooks: Bureaucratic Greed!
Maddow: this isn’t about religion it’s about
insurance you dumbasses
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he doesn’t care
about the poor and Obama caused job losses
Castellanos: Obama is killing old people
Brooks: the real issue is the high debt
Becerra: yes by all means let’s put the assholes
back in charge!
Castellanos: the GOP cares about your paycheck
Becerra: so pass the payroll tax cut!
Brooks: the America people are yearning for
a simpler tax code
Maddow: policy matters
Brooks: in his entire Presidency Obama has
only proposed digital textbooks
Becerra: that’s stupid
Gregory: what about Newt Gingrich
Castellanos: he carried philandering
megalomaniacs so he’s got that going for him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
********************************
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Gov. Deval Patrick (D-MA)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Representative Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
****************************
Gregory: good morning Newt Gingrich
Gingrich: I have lost 4 out of 5 states and
am very happy where we are
Gregory: you are losing every state and
in every category
Gingrich: I am hoping to do well in Georgia
where I am from
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: the safety net should be a
trampoline made from real tramps!
Gregory: you spend all your time
complaining that Romney is mean
Gingrich: well he is!
Gregory: I see
Gregory: Obama has caused 13% unemployment
Gregory: ah
Gingrich: Obama is timid and should declare
war on Iran
Gregory: can you think of anything you don’t
like about Romney
Gingrich: he’s pro-abortion, pro-taxes,
anti-jobs, and his health care plan kills people
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I would save Social Security by
getting rid of it
Gregory: oh
Gingrich: I would boldly go where no man
has gone before
Gregory: fantastic
Gingrich: the minimum wage kills black people
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I will eliminate all taxes on everyone
Gregory: unemployment is dropping
Gingrich: that doesn’t include people who are
so depressed that a black guy is in the
White House they just stopped looking for work
Gregory: what if unemployment keeps dropping?
Gingrich: then we will blame Obama for the debt
and high gas prices
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: also Obama is to blame for all the
changes in the world over the past half century
except the good ones
Gregory: interesting
Gingrich: Obama has declared war on the
Catholic church
Gregory: He's launched drone attacks
on the Vatican?
Gingrich: Obama has seized all church properties
across the land
Gregory: he did?
Gingrich: Obama’s attacks on Orthodox Jews
is a profound moment in American history
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: true religious liberty means
controlling the government
Gregory: would there be religious freedom
on the moon?
Gingrich: yes for Christians
Gregory: but we are in an age of Austerity
Gregory: fuck you Fluffy
Gingrich: look I only said we need to go to the
moon to pander to some idiots in Florida
Gregory: but you yammer on about big spending
Gingrich: why do you hate America?
Gregory: I don’t hate most Americans
Gingrich: the Chinese are taking over
outer space
Gregory: do you loathe Mitt Romney as
much as it seems?
Gingrich: I refuse to answer such a silly
question about that lying motherfucker
Gregory: you like the Giants but New York
is the capital of media elite!
Gingrich: please allow me to pander to
the voters of Wisconsin
[ break ]
Gregory: unemployment is dramatically dropping
Daniels: Obama has failed to reverse the
job losses from the last Republican Presidency
so we should put another Republican
in the White House
Bloomberg: the economy is getting better
but the deficit is high
Gregory: oh noes!
Bloomberg: we must cut spending
and raise taxes
Gregory: so you’re saying raising taxes on
rich people is a bad idea
Bloomberg: look we’re all in this together and
since everyone benefits let’s not bicker about
who is fabulously rich and who is
struggling to survive
Patrick: we have to invest in America -
and by the way Massachusetts is kicking
job killing Indiana’s ass
Daniels: Barack Obama caused the recession
in 2007 and costs jobs ever since
Gregory: we’ve been adding jobs for
24 straight months
Daniels: lalalalalala I can’t hear you
Bloomberg: regardless of what happened in
the past we must not investigate what
caused the recession
Gregory: ok
Bloomberg: on the other hand all Republicans
do is criticize which is no way to win
a football game
Gregory: Mitch your candidates suck
Daniels: that is true
Gregory: you may be stuck with Mitt Romney
Daniels: oh god [ sobs ]
Gregory: you must be happy Deval
Patrick: these GOP candidates frighten me
Gregory: Mayor you say you oppose
criminals using guns
Bloomberg: hey remember when a
Congresswoman got shot?
Gregory: oh yeah that was so inspiring
Bloomberg: no it was terrible
Gregory: I suppose you could see it that way
Bloomberg: more Americans have been shot
than were killed in World War II
Gregory: should we have a victory parade for
Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans
Bloomberg: the wars aren’t over Greggers
Gregory: maybe not but parades are fun
Gregory: the Super Bowl predicts the election!
Daniels: Fluffy you are a true idiot
[ break ]
Gregory: Romney is killing!
Brooks: the anti-catholic media is ignoring
Obama’s attack on all religious people
Maddow: people generally like birth control
Castellanos: Obama has taken away all
freedom of religion
Becerra: the Catholic church shouldn’t be
running insurance companies without
complying with the law
Brooks: Bureaucratic Greed!
Maddow: this isn’t about religion it’s about
insurance you dumbasses
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he doesn’t care
about the poor and Obama caused job losses
Castellanos: Obama is killing old people
Brooks: the real issue is the high debt
Becerra: yes by all means let’s put the assholes
back in charge!
Castellanos: the GOP cares about your paycheck
Becerra: so pass the payroll tax cut!
Brooks: the America people are yearning for
a simpler tax code
Maddow: policy matters
Brooks: in his entire Presidency Obama has
only proposed digital textbooks
Becerra: that’s stupid
Gregory: what about Newt Gingrich
Castellanos: he carried philandering
megalomaniacs so he’s got that going for him
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
********************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - February 5, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Ron Paul
Larry Summers
Glenn Hubbard - Romney advisor
Diane Swonk - Mesirow Financial
Arianna Huffington
Matthew Dowd
Dana Loesch
****************************
Stephanopoulos: good morning Ron Paul
- you did worse in 2012 than in 2008
Paul: dagnabit!
Stephanopoulos: when do you get
your first win?
Paul: Never! Liberty!
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich is trying to
destroy Mitt Romney
Paul: Sound money! Drug war!
Stop the wars!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Paul: no one likes these bastards
Stephanopoulos: what are you
trying to achieve?
Paul: victory!
Stephanopoulos: seriously Congressman
Paul: talking gibberish got me elected
to Congress
Stephanopoulos: that’s amazing
Paul: the young people of America finally
oppose John Maynard Keynes!
Stephanopoulos: do you think you can
get Mitt Romney to change his mind?
Paul: are you kidding? That guy
changes his mind when the sun rises
Stephanopoulos: good point
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: unemployment is down!
The stock market is up!
Romney: Obama caused the recession in
2007 and America is tired of all this job growth!
Stephanopoulos: Larry is this job growth for real?
Summers: well it’s not bad news George
Hubbard: yes it’s good news but let’s not
forget just how very very bad the Bush
recession was
Stephanopoulos: true
Hubbard: therefore we should put Republicans
back in the White House
Stephanopoulos: right
Hubbard: we need to cut taxes and
eliminate regulations
Swonk: Bring back the housing bubble!
Summers: Obama bailed out the GOP and
I’ll be damned if we’re going to give them
another chance wreck it all again
Hubbard: Obama is cheating by adding jobs
Stephanopoulos: should we attack Iran
and double oil prices
Swonk: Washington bickering causes recessions
Stephanopoulos: The GOP debt crisis
hurt the economy
Hubbard: Mitt Romney has heroically
called for lower taxes
Stephanopoulos: how brave
Hubbard: Obama has no economic plan
Stephanopoulos: of course
Summers: how about taxing the rich a tiny bit
Hubbard: Obama created the Republican
debt and unemployment
Swonk: Glenn you are idiot
Summers: grrrrr
Stephanopoulos: Romney has won in
Florida and Nevada
Will: there is an enthusiasm gap for Romney
but then again Gingrich is done for
Loesch: Newt just needs to stop talking
Dowd: they guy with the racist newsletters
is the rational alternative to Mitt Romney!
Huffington: Romney is crazier than Ron Paul
Will: Romney won two states and still had
a horrible week because his ideas are terrible
Dowd: we’re adding jobs and if that continues
there will be no reason to vote for Mitt at all
Loesch: watered owned conservatism
doesn’t work or win - go crazy or go home!
****************************************
Rep. Ron Paul
Larry Summers
Glenn Hubbard - Romney advisor
Diane Swonk - Mesirow Financial
Arianna Huffington
Matthew Dowd
Dana Loesch
****************************
Stephanopoulos: good morning Ron Paul
- you did worse in 2012 than in 2008
Paul: dagnabit!
Stephanopoulos: when do you get
your first win?
Paul: Never! Liberty!
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich is trying to
destroy Mitt Romney
Paul: Sound money! Drug war!
Stop the wars!
Stephanopoulos: go on
Paul: no one likes these bastards
Stephanopoulos: what are you
trying to achieve?
Paul: victory!
Stephanopoulos: seriously Congressman
Paul: talking gibberish got me elected
to Congress
Stephanopoulos: that’s amazing
Paul: the young people of America finally
oppose John Maynard Keynes!
Stephanopoulos: do you think you can
get Mitt Romney to change his mind?
Paul: are you kidding? That guy
changes his mind when the sun rises
Stephanopoulos: good point
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: unemployment is down!
The stock market is up!
Romney: Obama caused the recession in
2007 and America is tired of all this job growth!
Stephanopoulos: Larry is this job growth for real?
Summers: well it’s not bad news George
Hubbard: yes it’s good news but let’s not
forget just how very very bad the Bush
recession was
Stephanopoulos: true
Hubbard: therefore we should put Republicans
back in the White House
Stephanopoulos: right
Hubbard: we need to cut taxes and
eliminate regulations
Swonk: Bring back the housing bubble!
Summers: Obama bailed out the GOP and
I’ll be damned if we’re going to give them
another chance wreck it all again
Hubbard: Obama is cheating by adding jobs
Stephanopoulos: should we attack Iran
and double oil prices
Swonk: Washington bickering causes recessions
Stephanopoulos: The GOP debt crisis
hurt the economy
Hubbard: Mitt Romney has heroically
called for lower taxes
Stephanopoulos: how brave
Hubbard: Obama has no economic plan
Stephanopoulos: of course
Summers: how about taxing the rich a tiny bit
Hubbard: Obama created the Republican
debt and unemployment
Swonk: Glenn you are idiot
Summers: grrrrr
Stephanopoulos: Romney has won in
Florida and Nevada
Will: there is an enthusiasm gap for Romney
but then again Gingrich is done for
Loesch: Newt just needs to stop talking
Dowd: they guy with the racist newsletters
is the rational alternative to Mitt Romney!
Huffington: Romney is crazier than Ron Paul
Will: Romney won two states and still had
a horrible week because his ideas are terrible
Dowd: we’re adding jobs and if that continues
there will be no reason to vote for Mitt at all
Loesch: watered owned conservatism
doesn’t work or win - go crazy or go home!
****************************************
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Meet the Press - January 29, 2012
Guests:
Sen. John McCain
Fred Thompson
David Axelrod
Joe Scarborough
Doris Kearns Goodwin
*********************************
Gregory: so Florida is voting in a few days
Todd: Romney leads Gingrich in every
category except “too crazy to be
our nominee”
Gregory: greetings gentlemen
McCain: hi Fluffy
Thompson: whuh?
Gregory: hey Newt is losing Florida
McCain: yes I noticed
Thompson: yes but Newt won in South
Carolina except for smart people
Gregory: the Establishment is terrified
of Newt as the GOP nominee
Thompson: that’s only because people
who know him hate his guts
Gregory: I see
Thompson: Newt passed welfare reform
then he went insane
McCain: Newt shut down the government
- also he’s corrupt
Gregory: he is?
McCain: ever heard of the K Street Project Fluffy?
Gregory: no
McCain: he called Ronald Reagan a failure!
Apostate!
Thompson: haarrruumph
McCain: Citizens United was an outrage and
Gingrich is being funded by
a Chinese casino operator
Thompson: Mitt Romney is rich which
is very bad!
McCain: Fred you washed up
Hollywood jackass
Thompson: George Soros spends money!
Gregory: good point grandpa
Thompson: in an alternate universe Gingrich
successfully impeached Bill Clinton
Gregory: is that why you have the beard -
are you Evil Fred Thomson?
McCain: oh my god Fred you are insane
Thompson: Romney is mean nasty and
did I say mean
Gregory: when did Republicans become
such crybabies?
Thompson: whaaaa!
Gregory: here’s a hankie Fred
Thompson: Being nasty is no way
to win an election!
[ sobs ]
Gregory: Sarah Palin is worried about a
split in the party
McCain: who is this Sarah Palin person
you speak of?
Gregory: heh
McCain: Did I mention Mitt Romney has
never had extra martial affairs
Gregory: but you attacked Romney in 2008
McCain: Gingrich can’t whine his way to victory
Thompson: this is the most important time in
our history - the economy has stopped!
Gregory: actually the economy is growing
Thompson: maybe so but this is the
Obama Recession
Gregory: ok
Thompson: we don’t need a bean counter!
We need a 51st state on the moon!
Gregory: Obama intimidated the
Governor of Arizona
McCain: 40,000 people have been killed in
a country that is not America!
Gregory: wow
Gregory: this is your 61st appearance on
Meet The Press
McCain: What do I get when I hit 100?
Gregory: a pair of gold rabbit ears
McCain: how appropriate Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: David Brooks says Obama isn’t
thinking big enough
Axelrod: Obama wants to revive manufacturing
and community colleges
Gregory: I demand Americans sacrifice!
Axelrod: ok how about raising taxes on millionaires
Gregory: the reality of the situation with
entitlements is dire!
Axelrod: so you say Greggers
Gregory: President Alan Simpson says we
must cut social security!
Axelrod: you’re a moron
Gregory: Obama says this election is
about fairness
Axelrod: that sounds good to me
Gregory: but didn’t Romney play
by the rules?
Axelrod: yes you are allowed to hide
your money in Swiss bank accounts but
that doesn't make it right
Gregory: you must raise taxes on
the middle class
Axelrod: you seem insistent on this point
Gregory: you must cut entitlements!
Axelrod: the rich have done spectacularly
well you know Fluffy
Gregory: isn’t Bain Capital wonderful
Axelrod: Romney bankrupts companies
and then loots them
Gregory: but shareholders made a
lot of money
Axelrod: he kills jobs!
Gregory: so does Obama
Axelrod: no George Bush lost millions of
jobs and Romney wants to return to his policies
Gregory: you attack investors but Obama
invested in General Motors
Axelrod: but we didn’t loot the company -
we built an industry
Gregory: it’s still the same
Axelrod: well then why did Romney oppose
the auto bailout!?
Gregory: will the GOP fight continue?
Axelrod: well Romney has the money and
Newt is crazy but then again Mitt
is a liar and weirdo
Gregory: Does Obama hate politics?
Axelrod: no he likes it which proves
he’s not normal
Gregory: why should people vote for Obama?
Axelrod: because we’re adding jobs and the
other guys are out of their fucking minds
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Hi panel! So Newt was doing so
well - what went wrong?
Scarborough: Florida is big state - it
takes money and organization and
popularity - three things Gingrich
doesn’t have
Todd: Team Romney carpet-bombed
the state with cash and coupons
for early bird dinners
Goodwin: it’s like Custer’s Last Stand
except Romney is a very rich Indian
Scarborough: Establishment v Tea Party!
It’s so on right now!!
Goodwin: I’m starting to wonder if Newt
is actually insane
Gregory: George Washington was just like
Romney because he was very rich too
Good: yes but FDR had polio and JFK was
in WWII and Mitt spent Vietnam in Paris
Todd: not every American has a Swiss
bank account
Gregory: most of the best people do
Scarborough: that is true
Gregory: Joe you warned that Gingrich is like
a cockroach or Cher
Scarborough: yes they are scary and
you don’t want them around and you think
you got rid of them and there they are
Gregory: will Newt ever go away?
Scarborough: He could win Georgia,
Oklahoma, Tennessee and the Moon
Gregory: Newt is still leading in nation polls
Todd: but Romney is going to win Michigan
- people love him there and since they
are unemployed will plenty of time to vote
Gregory: Obama is laughing his ass off
Goodwin: Obama talked about fairness
and people like that
Gregory: Obama is not demanding
enough sacrifice is he?
Scarborough: it was a great campaign
speech which is very depressing because
no one is willing to demand that
poor people give up even more
Gregory: Obama is cheating by being popular
Scar: it’s so so sad
Gregory: Beet sugar fields on the Moon!
Goodwin: so awesome
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
Sen. John McCain
Fred Thompson
David Axelrod
Joe Scarborough
Doris Kearns Goodwin
*********************************
Gregory: so Florida is voting in a few days
Todd: Romney leads Gingrich in every
category except “too crazy to be
our nominee”
Gregory: greetings gentlemen
McCain: hi Fluffy
Thompson: whuh?
Gregory: hey Newt is losing Florida
McCain: yes I noticed
Thompson: yes but Newt won in South
Carolina except for smart people
Gregory: the Establishment is terrified
of Newt as the GOP nominee
Thompson: that’s only because people
who know him hate his guts
Gregory: I see
Thompson: Newt passed welfare reform
then he went insane
McCain: Newt shut down the government
- also he’s corrupt
Gregory: he is?
McCain: ever heard of the K Street Project Fluffy?
Gregory: no
McCain: he called Ronald Reagan a failure!
Apostate!
Thompson: haarrruumph
McCain: Citizens United was an outrage and
Gingrich is being funded by
a Chinese casino operator
Thompson: Mitt Romney is rich which
is very bad!
McCain: Fred you washed up
Hollywood jackass
Thompson: George Soros spends money!
Gregory: good point grandpa
Thompson: in an alternate universe Gingrich
successfully impeached Bill Clinton
Gregory: is that why you have the beard -
are you Evil Fred Thomson?
McCain: oh my god Fred you are insane
Thompson: Romney is mean nasty and
did I say mean
Gregory: when did Republicans become
such crybabies?
Thompson: whaaaa!
Gregory: here’s a hankie Fred
Thompson: Being nasty is no way
to win an election!
[ sobs ]
Gregory: Sarah Palin is worried about a
split in the party
McCain: who is this Sarah Palin person
you speak of?
Gregory: heh
McCain: Did I mention Mitt Romney has
never had extra martial affairs
Gregory: but you attacked Romney in 2008
McCain: Gingrich can’t whine his way to victory
Thompson: this is the most important time in
our history - the economy has stopped!
Gregory: actually the economy is growing
Thompson: maybe so but this is the
Obama Recession
Gregory: ok
Thompson: we don’t need a bean counter!
We need a 51st state on the moon!
Gregory: Obama intimidated the
Governor of Arizona
McCain: 40,000 people have been killed in
a country that is not America!
Gregory: wow
Gregory: this is your 61st appearance on
Meet The Press
McCain: What do I get when I hit 100?
Gregory: a pair of gold rabbit ears
McCain: how appropriate Fluffy
[ break ]
Gregory: David Brooks says Obama isn’t
thinking big enough
Axelrod: Obama wants to revive manufacturing
and community colleges
Gregory: I demand Americans sacrifice!
Axelrod: ok how about raising taxes on millionaires
Gregory: the reality of the situation with
entitlements is dire!
Axelrod: so you say Greggers
Gregory: President Alan Simpson says we
must cut social security!
Axelrod: you’re a moron
Gregory: Obama says this election is
about fairness
Axelrod: that sounds good to me
Gregory: but didn’t Romney play
by the rules?
Axelrod: yes you are allowed to hide
your money in Swiss bank accounts but
that doesn't make it right
Gregory: you must raise taxes on
the middle class
Axelrod: you seem insistent on this point
Gregory: you must cut entitlements!
Axelrod: the rich have done spectacularly
well you know Fluffy
Gregory: isn’t Bain Capital wonderful
Axelrod: Romney bankrupts companies
and then loots them
Gregory: but shareholders made a
lot of money
Axelrod: he kills jobs!
Gregory: so does Obama
Axelrod: no George Bush lost millions of
jobs and Romney wants to return to his policies
Gregory: you attack investors but Obama
invested in General Motors
Axelrod: but we didn’t loot the company -
we built an industry
Gregory: it’s still the same
Axelrod: well then why did Romney oppose
the auto bailout!?
Gregory: will the GOP fight continue?
Axelrod: well Romney has the money and
Newt is crazy but then again Mitt
is a liar and weirdo
Gregory: Does Obama hate politics?
Axelrod: no he likes it which proves
he’s not normal
Gregory: why should people vote for Obama?
Axelrod: because we’re adding jobs and the
other guys are out of their fucking minds
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: Hi panel! So Newt was doing so
well - what went wrong?
Scarborough: Florida is big state - it
takes money and organization and
popularity - three things Gingrich
doesn’t have
Todd: Team Romney carpet-bombed
the state with cash and coupons
for early bird dinners
Goodwin: it’s like Custer’s Last Stand
except Romney is a very rich Indian
Scarborough: Establishment v Tea Party!
It’s so on right now!!
Goodwin: I’m starting to wonder if Newt
is actually insane
Gregory: George Washington was just like
Romney because he was very rich too
Good: yes but FDR had polio and JFK was
in WWII and Mitt spent Vietnam in Paris
Todd: not every American has a Swiss
bank account
Gregory: most of the best people do
Scarborough: that is true
Gregory: Joe you warned that Gingrich is like
a cockroach or Cher
Scarborough: yes they are scary and
you don’t want them around and you think
you got rid of them and there they are
Gregory: will Newt ever go away?
Scarborough: He could win Georgia,
Oklahoma, Tennessee and the Moon
Gregory: Newt is still leading in nation polls
Todd: but Romney is going to win Michigan
- people love him there and since they
are unemployed will plenty of time to vote
Gregory: Obama is laughing his ass off
Goodwin: Obama talked about fairness
and people like that
Gregory: Obama is not demanding
enough sacrifice is he?
Scarborough: it was a great campaign
speech which is very depressing because
no one is willing to demand that
poor people give up even more
Gregory: Obama is cheating by being popular
Scar: it’s so so sad
Gregory: Beet sugar fields on the Moon!
Goodwin: so awesome
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
***************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - January 29, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
*****************************************
Tapper: Newt why are you losing
so badly?
Gingrich: if you add my votes to
Santorum’s than I am winning
Tapper: I see
Gingrich: also unlike me Romney is
negative and mean
Tapper: is that so?
Gingrich: also the Beltway elites are
all against me
Tapper: so who is for you?
Gingrich: Todd Palin and Fred Thompson
Tapper: besides those two idiots?
Gingrich: Ronald Reagan’s corpse
has endorsed me
Tapper: why did you do so badly in
the last debate?
Gingrich: Romney says things that
aren’t true which is unprecedented
for a politician
Tapper: wow
Gingrch: also he is responsible for Columbine,
Virginia Tech and I’m pretty sure he
killed Michael Jackson
Tapper: you have ad saying Mitt Romney
saying killed Kaylee Anthony
Gingrich: Romney has performed dozens
of abortions in the Cayman Islands!
Tapper: amazing
Gingrich: also Romney is a big liar and
lacks character
Tapper: you’re saying he can’t be President
Gingrich: the Federal Election Commission
said I should be President
Tapper: I did not know that
Gingrich: I just want to be positive and
talk about space and how Romney caused
the earthquake in Haiti
Tapper: ok then
Gingrich: I have big ideas and he’s
soooo nasty
Tapper: you want to put an American
base on the moon
Gingrich: I’m big and bold and I have
a plan to have the private sector build a
ladder to the moon
Tapper: that is cool
Gingrich: Washington is terrified of me
because I will spend billions on public works
projects and they hate that
Tapper: Romney says you have no ethics
Gingrich: I agree with you that Obama is
a terrible person
Tapper: umm….
Gingrich: I cut taxes and lowered
unemployment and balanced the budget!
Tapper: you did?
Gingrich: Romney is maniacal!
Tapper: you’re so positive
Gingrich: he’s an utter liar and-
Tapper: I just checked you didn’t balance
the budget
Gingrich: drop dead Tapper you
beltway elitist
Tapper: Obama says you are race-baiting
Gingrich: Obama goes around the country
attacking people which the same as
being a racist
Tapper: I see
Gingrich: he’s a food stamp President because
he didn’t built a pipeline across Nebraska
Tapper: good luck Newt
[ break ]
Tapper: you say Obama is un-American
Boehner: he caused he recession in 2007!
Tapper: will you raise taxes on the
middle class?
Boehner: sadly no
Tapper: what about lower taxes on corporations?
Boehner: Obama has lots of good ideas
Tapper: even though he is unamerican
and a socialist
Boehner: right
Tapper: none your bills can get through
the Senate
Boehner: the US Senate are all poopyheads
Tapper: what’s the point of passing
legislation that’s guaranteed to fail?
Boehner: don’t be hatin’!
Tapper: Bob Dole says Newt is a total nutcase
Boehner: I know Newt and he scares
the shit out of me
Tapper: Do you think Newt is too crazy
to be President?
Boehner: First of rule of opposing Newt is
you don’t talk about Newt
Tapper: got it
********************************
Newt Gingrich
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
*****************************************
Tapper: Newt why are you losing
so badly?
Gingrich: if you add my votes to
Santorum’s than I am winning
Tapper: I see
Gingrich: also unlike me Romney is
negative and mean
Tapper: is that so?
Gingrich: also the Beltway elites are
all against me
Tapper: so who is for you?
Gingrich: Todd Palin and Fred Thompson
Tapper: besides those two idiots?
Gingrich: Ronald Reagan’s corpse
has endorsed me
Tapper: why did you do so badly in
the last debate?
Gingrich: Romney says things that
aren’t true which is unprecedented
for a politician
Tapper: wow
Gingrch: also he is responsible for Columbine,
Virginia Tech and I’m pretty sure he
killed Michael Jackson
Tapper: you have ad saying Mitt Romney
saying killed Kaylee Anthony
Gingrich: Romney has performed dozens
of abortions in the Cayman Islands!
Tapper: amazing
Gingrich: also Romney is a big liar and
lacks character
Tapper: you’re saying he can’t be President
Gingrich: the Federal Election Commission
said I should be President
Tapper: I did not know that
Gingrich: I just want to be positive and
talk about space and how Romney caused
the earthquake in Haiti
Tapper: ok then
Gingrich: I have big ideas and he’s
soooo nasty
Tapper: you want to put an American
base on the moon
Gingrich: I’m big and bold and I have
a plan to have the private sector build a
ladder to the moon
Tapper: that is cool
Gingrich: Washington is terrified of me
because I will spend billions on public works
projects and they hate that
Tapper: Romney says you have no ethics
Gingrich: I agree with you that Obama is
a terrible person
Tapper: umm….
Gingrich: I cut taxes and lowered
unemployment and balanced the budget!
Tapper: you did?
Gingrich: Romney is maniacal!
Tapper: you’re so positive
Gingrich: he’s an utter liar and-
Tapper: I just checked you didn’t balance
the budget
Gingrich: drop dead Tapper you
beltway elitist
Tapper: Obama says you are race-baiting
Gingrich: Obama goes around the country
attacking people which the same as
being a racist
Tapper: I see
Gingrich: he’s a food stamp President because
he didn’t built a pipeline across Nebraska
Tapper: good luck Newt
[ break ]
Tapper: you say Obama is un-American
Boehner: he caused he recession in 2007!
Tapper: will you raise taxes on the
middle class?
Boehner: sadly no
Tapper: what about lower taxes on corporations?
Boehner: Obama has lots of good ideas
Tapper: even though he is unamerican
and a socialist
Boehner: right
Tapper: none your bills can get through
the Senate
Boehner: the US Senate are all poopyheads
Tapper: what’s the point of passing
legislation that’s guaranteed to fail?
Boehner: don’t be hatin’!
Tapper: Bob Dole says Newt is a total nutcase
Boehner: I know Newt and he scares
the shit out of me
Tapper: Do you think Newt is too crazy
to be President?
Boehner: First of rule of opposing Newt is
you don’t talk about Newt
Tapper: got it
********************************
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Meet The Press - January 22, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Joe Scarborough
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
Chuck Todd
***********************************
Gregory: wow Newt won South Carolina
Gingrich: thank you I am amazing
Gregory: what happened?
Gingrich: there is real pain and anger
out there and people are sick and tired
about being told what to think
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I’m running against the
big boys in Washington
Gregory: but you are the ultimate insider
Gingrich: I took a million dollars to
tell Fannie Mae they suck
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I am a regular American and
Mitt is a capitalist stooge
Gregory: Mittens says you hate success
Gingrich: I’m not attacking business I’m
attacking this slippery jerk
Gregory: do you think Mitt should
release his tax returns?
Gingrich: yes of course but I won’t release mine
Gregory: a lot of people hate you
and some Republicans say you would
be a total catastrophe
Gingrich: I will take on the Establishment!
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I will take on elites -
they caused the recession!
Gregory: what happened to family values?
Gingrich: I’m a grandfather now -
cuddly and cute!
Gregory: Jeb Bush says we should be
positive but you said Obama basically
hates America
Gingrich: the media has never
investigated Saul Alinsky
Gregory: I’m sorry about that
Gingrich: the objective fact is that Obama
is a black panther communist
Gregory: Romney is releasing tax returns
Gingrich: good now I don’t have to release
mine since the conversation is over
Gregory: Mitt is putting his tax returns
Christie: Finally - what a dumbass
Gregory: what was he hiding?
Christie: his amazing success which would
have made people really jealous
Gregory: right
Christie: people don’t want a failure as
President do they?
Gregory: what happened last night?
Christie: hey we got in a rumble and got beat up
and now we got to pick our knives and guns
take some dudes out
Gregory: you said Mitt Romney is too robotic
Christie: we’re working on that
Gregory: Newt is beating you on ethics
Christie: let’s drop the baloney -
of course Newt Gingrich was a lobbyist
Gregory: what has Mitt Romney ever done ?
Christie: people working at the Sports Authority
should thank Mitt Romney
Gregory: oh
Christie: people using those high-paying jobs at
Staples for food - let Obama attack that!
Gregory: why not elect Newt Gingrich
Christie: because Congress sucks and
Obama was a Senator
Gregory: do you think Gingrich would embarrass
the Republican party?
Christie: of course he would
Gregory: when has he ever done that?
Christie: don’t play dumb Fluffy
Gregory: I’m not playing
Christie: I see
Gregory: you’re making his character an issue
Christie: no I’m saying he’s an erratic wacko
who will destroy the party
Gregory: would Newt lose?
Christie: Romney would win!
Gregory: would you run for Vice President?
Christie: sure why not
Gregory: but no one likes you
Christie: true enough
Gregory: how can Obama get Republicans
get to rally behind him
Christie: stop being such a coward and
embrace Simpson-Bowles
Gregory: wow
Christie: I don’t agree with Simpson-Bowles
but he should totally do it anyway
Gregory: Do Republicans bear responsibility
for all the gridlock
Christie: no because Obama is a big meanie
Gregory: you killed a Hudson tunnel but
now you’re cutting income taxes in New Jersey
Christie: We’ve aggressively cut spending
and now it’s time for people to get their money back
Gregory: I love it
Christie: go New Jersey Giants!
[ break ]
Gregory: Chuck what happened in South Carolina?
Todd: Newt became the conservative alternative
and he even won on electability
Scarborough: Gingrich is not a real conservative
- he’s just a giant asshole
Gregory: really
Scarborough: Newt called Paul Ryan a
right-wing radical!
Murphy: Losing Carolina is not the problem -
the issue is Romney is a crappy campaigner
Gregory: Newt is running against Saul Alinsky
and food stamps
Kay: he tapped the conservative lizard brain
Todd: People aren’t voting for Newt Gingrich
- they’re voting against Mitt Romney
Scarborough: the party base is revolting
Gregory: true
Scarborough: Newt Gingrich is not
a conservative! Google it!
Gregory: wow
Scarborough: he called us jihadists!
Gregory: so sad
Scarborough: Newt is not a conservative
- he’s an opportunist!
Murphy: nobody cares Joe - he attacked
food stamps and called for child labor -
you can’t beat that
Gregory: so how does he win?
Murphy: Mitt has to remind people that
Newt is a living train-wreck
Scarborough: Gingrich is Michael Moore
and Mitt is an idiot
Gregory: will Mitch Daniels be recruited
to be President?
Murphy: after a UFO lands in Miami
Scarborough: the good news is that
people don’t like Mitt Romney but they
hate Gingrich
Gregory: true
Scarborough: Jeb Bush will probably
be the nominee
Murphy: [ snort! ]
Kay: Florida is more moderate
Todd: have you seen their Governor?
Gregory: NBC is hosting another Republican
debate tomorrow
Audience: oh my god
Todd: he should call on Newt to release
his Fannie Mae agreement
Murphy: we’ll see if Romney is a wimp or a fighter
Kay: the Super PAC ads will go negative for him
Scarborough: Newt is horrible -
but last night was a primal scream from the party
we will not go quietly into the night!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
Newt Gingrich
Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ)
Joe Scarborough
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
Chuck Todd
***********************************
Gregory: wow Newt won South Carolina
Gingrich: thank you I am amazing
Gregory: what happened?
Gingrich: there is real pain and anger
out there and people are sick and tired
about being told what to think
Gregory: I see
Gingrich: I’m running against the
big boys in Washington
Gregory: but you are the ultimate insider
Gingrich: I took a million dollars to
tell Fannie Mae they suck
Gregory: ok
Gingrich: I am a regular American and
Mitt is a capitalist stooge
Gregory: Mittens says you hate success
Gingrich: I’m not attacking business I’m
attacking this slippery jerk
Gregory: do you think Mitt should
release his tax returns?
Gingrich: yes of course but I won’t release mine
Gregory: a lot of people hate you
and some Republicans say you would
be a total catastrophe
Gingrich: I will take on the Establishment!
Gregory: wow
Gingrich: I will take on elites -
they caused the recession!
Gregory: what happened to family values?
Gingrich: I’m a grandfather now -
cuddly and cute!
Gregory: Jeb Bush says we should be
positive but you said Obama basically
hates America
Gingrich: the media has never
investigated Saul Alinsky
Gregory: I’m sorry about that
Gingrich: the objective fact is that Obama
is a black panther communist
Gregory: Romney is releasing tax returns
Gingrich: good now I don’t have to release
mine since the conversation is over
Gregory: Mitt is putting his tax returns
Christie: Finally - what a dumbass
Gregory: what was he hiding?
Christie: his amazing success which would
have made people really jealous
Gregory: right
Christie: people don’t want a failure as
President do they?
Gregory: what happened last night?
Christie: hey we got in a rumble and got beat up
and now we got to pick our knives and guns
take some dudes out
Gregory: you said Mitt Romney is too robotic
Christie: we’re working on that
Gregory: Newt is beating you on ethics
Christie: let’s drop the baloney -
of course Newt Gingrich was a lobbyist
Gregory: what has Mitt Romney ever done ?
Christie: people working at the Sports Authority
should thank Mitt Romney
Gregory: oh
Christie: people using those high-paying jobs at
Staples for food - let Obama attack that!
Gregory: why not elect Newt Gingrich
Christie: because Congress sucks and
Obama was a Senator
Gregory: do you think Gingrich would embarrass
the Republican party?
Christie: of course he would
Gregory: when has he ever done that?
Christie: don’t play dumb Fluffy
Gregory: I’m not playing
Christie: I see
Gregory: you’re making his character an issue
Christie: no I’m saying he’s an erratic wacko
who will destroy the party
Gregory: would Newt lose?
Christie: Romney would win!
Gregory: would you run for Vice President?
Christie: sure why not
Gregory: but no one likes you
Christie: true enough
Gregory: how can Obama get Republicans
get to rally behind him
Christie: stop being such a coward and
embrace Simpson-Bowles
Gregory: wow
Christie: I don’t agree with Simpson-Bowles
but he should totally do it anyway
Gregory: Do Republicans bear responsibility
for all the gridlock
Christie: no because Obama is a big meanie
Gregory: you killed a Hudson tunnel but
now you’re cutting income taxes in New Jersey
Christie: We’ve aggressively cut spending
and now it’s time for people to get their money back
Gregory: I love it
Christie: go New Jersey Giants!
[ break ]
Gregory: Chuck what happened in South Carolina?
Todd: Newt became the conservative alternative
and he even won on electability
Scarborough: Gingrich is not a real conservative
- he’s just a giant asshole
Gregory: really
Scarborough: Newt called Paul Ryan a
right-wing radical!
Murphy: Losing Carolina is not the problem -
the issue is Romney is a crappy campaigner
Gregory: Newt is running against Saul Alinsky
and food stamps
Kay: he tapped the conservative lizard brain
Todd: People aren’t voting for Newt Gingrich
- they’re voting against Mitt Romney
Scarborough: the party base is revolting
Gregory: true
Scarborough: Newt Gingrich is not
a conservative! Google it!
Gregory: wow
Scarborough: he called us jihadists!
Gregory: so sad
Scarborough: Newt is not a conservative
- he’s an opportunist!
Murphy: nobody cares Joe - he attacked
food stamps and called for child labor -
you can’t beat that
Gregory: so how does he win?
Murphy: Mitt has to remind people that
Newt is a living train-wreck
Scarborough: Gingrich is Michael Moore
and Mitt is an idiot
Gregory: will Mitch Daniels be recruited
to be President?
Murphy: after a UFO lands in Miami
Scarborough: the good news is that
people don’t like Mitt Romney but they
hate Gingrich
Gregory: true
Scarborough: Jeb Bush will probably
be the nominee
Murphy: [ snort! ]
Kay: Florida is more moderate
Todd: have you seen their Governor?
Gregory: NBC is hosting another Republican
debate tomorrow
Audience: oh my god
Todd: he should call on Newt to release
his Fannie Mae agreement
Murphy: we’ll see if Romney is a wimp or a fighter
Kay: the Super PAC ads will go negative for him
Scarborough: Newt is horrible -
but last night was a primal scream from the party
we will not go quietly into the night!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - January 22, 2012
Guests:
Rick Santorum
George Will
Katrina vanden Heuvel
Ron Brownstein
Amy Walter
***************************
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Newt Gingrich
crushed Mitt in South Carolina!
Gingrich: I speak for all the normal
people of America
Romney: when you attack me you
attack freedom
Stephanopoulos: Rick will you drop out?
Santorum: no because Mitt Romney is a
Wall Street liberal and Newt Gingrich
had an affair with Nancy Pelosi
Stephanopoulos: those are good points
and yet I help can’t noticing that no
one voted for you
Santorum: but South Carolina is
well-known to be full of insane people
Stephanopoulos: you say Newt is
mentally unstable
Santorum: he’s an undisciplined fat
cheating weirdo
Stephanopoulos: fascinating
Santorum: he got cooties from Nancy Pelosi!
Stephanopoulos: did you really vote for a
museum devoted to letting felons vote?
Santorum: I will kill Medicaid!
Stephanopoulos: you seemed doomed to fail
Santorum: why not let all 50 states
decide who the nominee will be?
Stephanopoulos: but you’re such a dweeb
Santorum: I won Iowa!
Stephanopoulos: Is Mitt Romney
in trouble?
Santorum: of course - conservatives
split the vote and he still lost!
Stephanopoulos: thanks Rickster
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: wow we’ve had
three winners in three primaries
Will: Romney is losing women and
electability - he has 6 wins and 19 losses
Brownstein: wow the Detroit Lions
are no longer the biggest losers
from Michigan
Will: his biggest flaw is his Romney-ness
Dowd: I disagree - his biggest problem
is his Mitt-ness
vanden Heuvel: Newt is playing on
racial grievances
Stephanopoulos: yes who has more
cause for racial grievance than
white southerners?
Gingrich: I have just realized that
destructive politics is bad
Brownstein: he’s killing among very
angry poor white people
Walter: no one cares about Bain -
they just can't stand Romney
vanden Heuvel: Occupy Wall Street
helped Gingrich
Dowd: Debates matter and consultants don’t
Will: you can’t Newt Gingrich nuclear weapons
- he’s a right looney!
Brownstein: the GOP is becoming poorer
and Mitt can’t connect with them
Will: May I observe the Newt is certifiable
Stephanopoulos: how could Romney not
see this tax issue coming?
Walter: it wasn’t in his original programming
vanden Heuvel: He didn’t think other Republicans
would attack his wealth
Dowd: He never had to before so why bother
Brownstein: the conservatives were all attacking
each other - now they’re going after him
and he’s can’t take it
Will: Republicans across America are waking
saying “dear god what have we done?!”
***************************************
Rick Santorum
George Will
Katrina vanden Heuvel
Ron Brownstein
Amy Walter
***************************
Stephanopoulos: holy crap Newt Gingrich
crushed Mitt in South Carolina!
Gingrich: I speak for all the normal
people of America
Romney: when you attack me you
attack freedom
Stephanopoulos: Rick will you drop out?
Santorum: no because Mitt Romney is a
Wall Street liberal and Newt Gingrich
had an affair with Nancy Pelosi
Stephanopoulos: those are good points
and yet I help can’t noticing that no
one voted for you
Santorum: but South Carolina is
well-known to be full of insane people
Stephanopoulos: you say Newt is
mentally unstable
Santorum: he’s an undisciplined fat
cheating weirdo
Stephanopoulos: fascinating
Santorum: he got cooties from Nancy Pelosi!
Stephanopoulos: did you really vote for a
museum devoted to letting felons vote?
Santorum: I will kill Medicaid!
Stephanopoulos: you seemed doomed to fail
Santorum: why not let all 50 states
decide who the nominee will be?
Stephanopoulos: but you’re such a dweeb
Santorum: I won Iowa!
Stephanopoulos: Is Mitt Romney
in trouble?
Santorum: of course - conservatives
split the vote and he still lost!
Stephanopoulos: thanks Rickster
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: wow we’ve had
three winners in three primaries
Will: Romney is losing women and
electability - he has 6 wins and 19 losses
Brownstein: wow the Detroit Lions
are no longer the biggest losers
from Michigan
Will: his biggest flaw is his Romney-ness
Dowd: I disagree - his biggest problem
is his Mitt-ness
vanden Heuvel: Newt is playing on
racial grievances
Stephanopoulos: yes who has more
cause for racial grievance than
white southerners?
Gingrich: I have just realized that
destructive politics is bad
Brownstein: he’s killing among very
angry poor white people
Walter: no one cares about Bain -
they just can't stand Romney
vanden Heuvel: Occupy Wall Street
helped Gingrich
Dowd: Debates matter and consultants don’t
Will: you can’t Newt Gingrich nuclear weapons
- he’s a right looney!
Brownstein: the GOP is becoming poorer
and Mitt can’t connect with them
Will: May I observe the Newt is certifiable
Stephanopoulos: how could Romney not
see this tax issue coming?
Walter: it wasn’t in his original programming
vanden Heuvel: He didn’t think other Republicans
would attack his wealth
Dowd: He never had to before so why bother
Brownstein: the conservatives were all attacking
each other - now they’re going after him
and he’s can’t take it
Will: Republicans across America are waking
saying “dear god what have we done?!”
***************************************
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Meet The Press - January 15, 2012
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC)
******************************
Gregory: Welcome to the show Newt
Gingrich: thanks Greggers
Gregory: are you going to drop out
and endorse Santorum
Gingrich: Rick is a Papist!
Gregory: you all are going to split
the conservative vote
Gingrich: Unlike Santorum I am a master debater
Gregory: but he’s a real conservative
and you’re a con man
Gingrich: Little Ricky has no idea what’s
about to hit him
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: this week will be the most important
six days in the history of the United States
Gregory: wow
Gregory: New Hampshire conservatives
rejected you
Gingrich: yes but Mitt Romney used to
live on Golden Pond
Gregory: maybe but you need to do better
down south
Gingrich: you have no idea how rabid
Carolina conservatives are
Gregory: perhaps not
Gingrich: Romney is a job-killing socialist!
Gregory: your poll numbers go up and down
Gingrich: that rich Mormon is out to get me!
Gregory: that’s so sad
Gingrich: if he wants to throw down believe
me I’m ready pal
Gregory: you are running a movie to
destroy Mitt Romney
Gingrich: I’ve never heard of that Super PAC
run on my behalf
Gregory: the film is full of lies - for example
Mitt Romney never killed a hobo did he?
Gingrich: if that never happened then the PAC
should edit the movie to take that part out
Gregory: but the lies are out there
Gregory: Indeed Romney needs to answer
serious questions about this missing hobo
Gregory: should Romney release his tax returns?
Gingrich: he’d better do it now because Obama
will hammer his ass if he doesn’t
Gregory: do you think Romney is hiding something?
Gingrich: this hobo business won’t go away Fluffy
Gregory: you said Mitt was more ruthless than
Wall Street - but what’s bad about that?
Gingrich: nothing - I just want to know if he’s
honest about how scummy he really is
Gregory: isn’t he a great businessman?
Gingrich: sure but do we really want a hobo-killer
in the White House?
Gregory: Conservatives are very upset that you
sound like Michael Moore
Gingrich: I’m not at all like Michael Moore -
he makes products which are very profitable
Gregory: so what’s your point?
Gingrich: that Mitt Romney is a big lying jerk
Gregory: what will you do when you lose
in South Carolina?
Gingrich: I will return to grifting full-time
Gregory: you made fun of Mitt Romney for
speaking French - why is that bad?
Gingrich: he’s a Mormon foreigner
Gregory: you lived in France!
Gingrich: [ evil laugh ]
[ break ]
Gregory: Congress is incredibly unpopular
Reid: the GOP obstructs everything!
Gregory: I see
Reid: then they tried to raise taxes on poor people
Gregory: you said the Tea Party would lose its
power and yet they are so wonderful
Reid: oh stuff it Fluffy
Gregory: Congress is a bunch of losers
Reid: not true we’re going to shut down the Internet
Gregory: I love twitter! #fluffytweets
Reid: don’t worry Fluffy your fans will still be
able follow your deep thoughts
Gregory: Didn’t you hate George Bush like
the GOP hates Obama?
Reid: yeah that’s why we gave him everything he wanted
Gregory: people don’t trust either party
Reid: neither do I
Gregory: the GOP are getting lots of things done!
Reid: no they are not
Gregory: they are in my imagination
Reid: so I’ve noticed
Gregory: If the GOP won’t work with the President
then it must be Obama’s fault
Reid: you’re funny
Gregory: what can Obama say to Republicans
to make them act rationally
Reid: nothing
Gregory: oh there must be something
Reid: raise taxes on the richest 1% so we can
help poor people
Gregory: you are dug in on your policies - how
will that help Republicans come to their senses!?!
Reid: it won’t
Gregory: that makes you a failure
Reid: you are so ridiculous
Gregory: Obama appointed the head of
the financial reform commission and
Mitt Romney says that bad
Reid: the GOP doesn’t even want reform law to exist!
Gregory: Obama is sneaky and tricky
Reid: I worked with Bush! Ask anyone! I’m a
big wet noodle!
Gregory: Suze Orman says the middle class
has disappeared
Reid: she’s right
Gregory: tell me about Mitt Romney
Reid: I will comment in six months when he is
the nominee and his views have changed
Gregory: what is your agenda?
Reid: jobs, health care and old people
Gregory: what about Bob Kerry
Reid: I like him - he once killed a guy
Gregory: thanks for coming Harry
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay what happened to Newt Gingrich
Graham: after the debates the Newt will rise again
Scott: the Christians are splintered - its just
like the 1st century AD
Gregory: what do people in Carolina care about?
Scott: they like Jesus but they really need a job
Graham: I love God too but we need to beat Obama
Gregory: what about Mitt?
Graham: thank the Lord for venture capitalism
Scott: Romney may be a ruthless bastard but can’t
say that out loud because we need to beat Obama
Gregory: who are you voting for?
Scott: I’m using the process of elimination
Gregory: can anyone else win besides Mitt?
Scott: yes - I mean no
Gregory: the tea party seems to have lost its influence
Graham: they were always regular conservatives
just more annoying than most
Gregory: can you defeat Obama?
Graham: if we rally around Mitt Romney
Gregory: so you support Mitt?
Graham: yes after next week
Gregory: if Romney a tea partier?
Scott: No but he can be reprogrammed
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*************************************
Newt Gingrich
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV)
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Rep. Tim Scott (R-SC)
******************************
Gregory: Welcome to the show Newt
Gingrich: thanks Greggers
Gregory: are you going to drop out
and endorse Santorum
Gingrich: Rick is a Papist!
Gregory: you all are going to split
the conservative vote
Gingrich: Unlike Santorum I am a master debater
Gregory: but he’s a real conservative
and you’re a con man
Gingrich: Little Ricky has no idea what’s
about to hit him
Gregory: oh my
Gingrich: this week will be the most important
six days in the history of the United States
Gregory: wow
Gregory: New Hampshire conservatives
rejected you
Gingrich: yes but Mitt Romney used to
live on Golden Pond
Gregory: maybe but you need to do better
down south
Gingrich: you have no idea how rabid
Carolina conservatives are
Gregory: perhaps not
Gingrich: Romney is a job-killing socialist!
Gregory: your poll numbers go up and down
Gingrich: that rich Mormon is out to get me!
Gregory: that’s so sad
Gingrich: if he wants to throw down believe
me I’m ready pal
Gregory: you are running a movie to
destroy Mitt Romney
Gingrich: I’ve never heard of that Super PAC
run on my behalf
Gregory: the film is full of lies - for example
Mitt Romney never killed a hobo did he?
Gingrich: if that never happened then the PAC
should edit the movie to take that part out
Gregory: but the lies are out there
Gregory: Indeed Romney needs to answer
serious questions about this missing hobo
Gregory: should Romney release his tax returns?
Gingrich: he’d better do it now because Obama
will hammer his ass if he doesn’t
Gregory: do you think Romney is hiding something?
Gingrich: this hobo business won’t go away Fluffy
Gregory: you said Mitt was more ruthless than
Wall Street - but what’s bad about that?
Gingrich: nothing - I just want to know if he’s
honest about how scummy he really is
Gregory: isn’t he a great businessman?
Gingrich: sure but do we really want a hobo-killer
in the White House?
Gregory: Conservatives are very upset that you
sound like Michael Moore
Gingrich: I’m not at all like Michael Moore -
he makes products which are very profitable
Gregory: so what’s your point?
Gingrich: that Mitt Romney is a big lying jerk
Gregory: what will you do when you lose
in South Carolina?
Gingrich: I will return to grifting full-time
Gregory: you made fun of Mitt Romney for
speaking French - why is that bad?
Gingrich: he’s a Mormon foreigner
Gregory: you lived in France!
Gingrich: [ evil laugh ]
[ break ]
Gregory: Congress is incredibly unpopular
Reid: the GOP obstructs everything!
Gregory: I see
Reid: then they tried to raise taxes on poor people
Gregory: you said the Tea Party would lose its
power and yet they are so wonderful
Reid: oh stuff it Fluffy
Gregory: Congress is a bunch of losers
Reid: not true we’re going to shut down the Internet
Gregory: I love twitter! #fluffytweets
Reid: don’t worry Fluffy your fans will still be
able follow your deep thoughts
Gregory: Didn’t you hate George Bush like
the GOP hates Obama?
Reid: yeah that’s why we gave him everything he wanted
Gregory: people don’t trust either party
Reid: neither do I
Gregory: the GOP are getting lots of things done!
Reid: no they are not
Gregory: they are in my imagination
Reid: so I’ve noticed
Gregory: If the GOP won’t work with the President
then it must be Obama’s fault
Reid: you’re funny
Gregory: what can Obama say to Republicans
to make them act rationally
Reid: nothing
Gregory: oh there must be something
Reid: raise taxes on the richest 1% so we can
help poor people
Gregory: you are dug in on your policies - how
will that help Republicans come to their senses!?!
Reid: it won’t
Gregory: that makes you a failure
Reid: you are so ridiculous
Gregory: Obama appointed the head of
the financial reform commission and
Mitt Romney says that bad
Reid: the GOP doesn’t even want reform law to exist!
Gregory: Obama is sneaky and tricky
Reid: I worked with Bush! Ask anyone! I’m a
big wet noodle!
Gregory: Suze Orman says the middle class
has disappeared
Reid: she’s right
Gregory: tell me about Mitt Romney
Reid: I will comment in six months when he is
the nominee and his views have changed
Gregory: what is your agenda?
Reid: jobs, health care and old people
Gregory: what about Bob Kerry
Reid: I like him - he once killed a guy
Gregory: thanks for coming Harry
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay what happened to Newt Gingrich
Graham: after the debates the Newt will rise again
Scott: the Christians are splintered - its just
like the 1st century AD
Gregory: what do people in Carolina care about?
Scott: they like Jesus but they really need a job
Graham: I love God too but we need to beat Obama
Gregory: what about Mitt?
Graham: thank the Lord for venture capitalism
Scott: Romney may be a ruthless bastard but can’t
say that out loud because we need to beat Obama
Gregory: who are you voting for?
Scott: I’m using the process of elimination
Gregory: can anyone else win besides Mitt?
Scott: yes - I mean no
Gregory: the tea party seems to have lost its influence
Graham: they were always regular conservatives
just more annoying than most
Gregory: can you defeat Obama?
Graham: if we rally around Mitt Romney
Gregory: so you support Mitt?
Graham: yes after next week
Gregory: if Romney a tea partier?
Scott: No but he can be reprogrammed
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - January 15, 2012
Guests:
Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX)
Stephen Colbert
Paul Krugman
George Will
Cokie Roberts
Peggy Noonan
******************************
Stephanopoulos: Good morning
Governor Perry
Perry: Good morning Jorge
Stephanopoulos: George
Perry: righty-o
Stephanopoulos: you are getting killed
in this race
Perry: like the heroes at the Alamo!
Stephanopoulos: you’re not even on the
ballot in Virginia
Perry: hey Joe they called Ronald Reagan
stupid too
Stephanopoulos: why should people
vote for you?
Perry: I’m Commander-in-Chief of the
Texas Army
Stephanopoulos: you called Mitt Romney
a Vulture Capitalist
Perry: the buzzards are circling Jim
Stephanopoulos: GOP activists are saying you’re
dumb and sound like Occupy Wall Street
Perry: that’s crazy - I don’t even own a drum
Stephanopoulos: did Mitt Romney create
100,000 jobs?
Perry: I don’t know but if he can’t handle me
he sure as heck can’t beat Obama
Stephanopoulos: but Obama will take his
inspiration from you
Perry: I doubt that Jake
Stephanopoulos: what will you do when you
lose in South Carolina?
Perry: I don’t plan ahead Jeff
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Stephen Colbert you are
running for President?
Colbert: I’m exploring it
Stephanopoulos: South Carolina officials say
you have as much chance of winning as you
have of being elected Pope
Colbert: why shouldn’t I be Pope?
Stephanopoulos: they don’t allow write-votes
in South Carolina
Colbert: they also said NASA could never put
cheese in pizza crust
Stephanopoulos: you ran in 2004 as a Democrat
and now you are a Republican - isn’t that a flip-flop?
Colbert: I figured the GOP will take anybody
Stephanopoulos: you have a Super PAC ad out
calling Mitt Romney a serial killer
Colbert: I’ve never seen that ad but it
seems pretty cool
Stephanopoulos: you call him a murderer
Colbert: no Jon Stewart did and he’s right
Stephanopoulos: who will your Vice President be?
Colbert: me
Stephanopoulos: would run a third-party campaign
Colbert: maybe even 4th or 5th
Stephanopoulos: are you running or not?
Colbert: I’m a one-man Lewis & Clark -
I’m exploring
Stephanopoulos: you like Super PACs
Colbert: money is speech George
Stephanopoulos: so you believe corporations
are people?
Colbert: George don’t you believe corporations
are people?
Stephanopoulos: I won’t answer that
Colbert: you sir are a racist!
Stephanopoulos: Roger Ailes says you are crazy
Colbert: Roger is a good friend and we
spa together
Stephanopoulos: are you in this just to air
Super PAC ads
Colbert: that’s Jon Stewart’s Super PAC
Stephanopoulos: not yours?
Colbert: I gave away my baby and that was hard
because my baby had a lot of money
Stephanopoulos: are Super PACs a good thing?
Colbert: there’s $11 million of free speech in
South Carolina!
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Can Romney win in
South Carolina?
Will: yes he will because no one likes him there
Noonan: [ removes glasses with a flourish ]
Karl: 400,000 androids will vote for Romney
in Florida
Noonan: Evangelicals and Tea Partiers can’t decide
between the crazy guy, the weirdo, the moron
and the lunatic
Roberts: Gingrich is a jerk, Rick is a Papist and
Rick Perry is… Rick Perry
Krugman: the GOP only has one agenda - to cut
taxes on rich people
Roberts: Perry calling Romney a vulture helps
the Republican party
Will: the America people love job destruction
Krugman: Bain isn’t a scandal you get out of
the way - it goes to the heart of Romney’s life story
Noonan: By November no one will care that
Romney is evil
Karl: Romney was a wonderful businessman but
a sneaky closet liberal
Noonan: no one cares about that either
Roberts: people think of Romney as slimy
Krugman: America is not a business - after all
the Pentagon doesn’t make a profit
Will: Capitalism is like surgery - it’s necessary but
ugly and no one wants to look at it
************************************
Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX)
Stephen Colbert
Paul Krugman
George Will
Cokie Roberts
Peggy Noonan
******************************
Stephanopoulos: Good morning
Governor Perry
Perry: Good morning Jorge
Stephanopoulos: George
Perry: righty-o
Stephanopoulos: you are getting killed
in this race
Perry: like the heroes at the Alamo!
Stephanopoulos: you’re not even on the
ballot in Virginia
Perry: hey Joe they called Ronald Reagan
stupid too
Stephanopoulos: why should people
vote for you?
Perry: I’m Commander-in-Chief of the
Texas Army
Stephanopoulos: you called Mitt Romney
a Vulture Capitalist
Perry: the buzzards are circling Jim
Stephanopoulos: GOP activists are saying you’re
dumb and sound like Occupy Wall Street
Perry: that’s crazy - I don’t even own a drum
Stephanopoulos: did Mitt Romney create
100,000 jobs?
Perry: I don’t know but if he can’t handle me
he sure as heck can’t beat Obama
Stephanopoulos: but Obama will take his
inspiration from you
Perry: I doubt that Jake
Stephanopoulos: what will you do when you
lose in South Carolina?
Perry: I don’t plan ahead Jeff
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Stephen Colbert you are
running for President?
Colbert: I’m exploring it
Stephanopoulos: South Carolina officials say
you have as much chance of winning as you
have of being elected Pope
Colbert: why shouldn’t I be Pope?
Stephanopoulos: they don’t allow write-votes
in South Carolina
Colbert: they also said NASA could never put
cheese in pizza crust
Stephanopoulos: you ran in 2004 as a Democrat
and now you are a Republican - isn’t that a flip-flop?
Colbert: I figured the GOP will take anybody
Stephanopoulos: you have a Super PAC ad out
calling Mitt Romney a serial killer
Colbert: I’ve never seen that ad but it
seems pretty cool
Stephanopoulos: you call him a murderer
Colbert: no Jon Stewart did and he’s right
Stephanopoulos: who will your Vice President be?
Colbert: me
Stephanopoulos: would run a third-party campaign
Colbert: maybe even 4th or 5th
Stephanopoulos: are you running or not?
Colbert: I’m a one-man Lewis & Clark -
I’m exploring
Stephanopoulos: you like Super PACs
Colbert: money is speech George
Stephanopoulos: so you believe corporations
are people?
Colbert: George don’t you believe corporations
are people?
Stephanopoulos: I won’t answer that
Colbert: you sir are a racist!
Stephanopoulos: Roger Ailes says you are crazy
Colbert: Roger is a good friend and we
spa together
Stephanopoulos: are you in this just to air
Super PAC ads
Colbert: that’s Jon Stewart’s Super PAC
Stephanopoulos: not yours?
Colbert: I gave away my baby and that was hard
because my baby had a lot of money
Stephanopoulos: are Super PACs a good thing?
Colbert: there’s $11 million of free speech in
South Carolina!
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Can Romney win in
South Carolina?
Will: yes he will because no one likes him there
Noonan: [ removes glasses with a flourish ]
Karl: 400,000 androids will vote for Romney
in Florida
Noonan: Evangelicals and Tea Partiers can’t decide
between the crazy guy, the weirdo, the moron
and the lunatic
Roberts: Gingrich is a jerk, Rick is a Papist and
Rick Perry is… Rick Perry
Krugman: the GOP only has one agenda - to cut
taxes on rich people
Roberts: Perry calling Romney a vulture helps
the Republican party
Will: the America people love job destruction
Krugman: Bain isn’t a scandal you get out of
the way - it goes to the heart of Romney’s life story
Noonan: By November no one will care that
Romney is evil
Karl: Romney was a wonderful businessman but
a sneaky closet liberal
Noonan: no one cares about that either
Roberts: people think of Romney as slimy
Krugman: America is not a business - after all
the Pentagon doesn’t make a profit
Will: Capitalism is like surgery - it’s necessary but
ugly and no one wants to look at it
************************************
Sunday, January 08, 2012
NBC Facebook Republican Debate - January 8, 2012
January 8, 2012
Hosts:
David Gregory
John DiStaso
Andy Hiller
Candidates:
Mitt Romney
Newt Gingrich
Rick Santorum
Rick Perry
Ron Paul
Jon Hunstman
***********************************
Gregory: Good morning and welcome
to the Fluffy Facebook debate
Candidates: good morning Mr. Zuckerberg
Gregory: please bash Mittens for me
Gingrich: because Obama is a scary black
man and Romney is timid just like Obama
Gingrich: I created 100 million jobs with
Saint Ronald and that other guy in the
1990s and I’ve been pre-smeared
Romney: we were losing jobs when I
became Governor and began adding
jobs after I took office
Gregory: that sounds like Obama
Romney: I’m a leader and Newt is a loser
Gregory: Rick you are also a loser
Santorum: Mitt didn’t even run for re-election
Gregory: he ran against Ted Kennedy
Santorum: he ran to his left and was defeated
Romney: I didn’t even to want to be
in politics!
Santorum: you ran for the Governor and
Senate and President twice idiot
Romney: my life’s passion is making
money and I’ve done that
Santorum: you will only serve one term
as President
Romney: not voluntarily
Gingrich: drop the baloney you loser
Romney: I know very well that I am
a loser dipshit
Gregory: is Romney a man of
constant conservatism?
Paul: Obama created empires and
bailed out the banks!
Perry: Wall Street dicks like Mitt Romney
caused the recession!
Gregory: Mitt what do you believe?
Romney: I wrote a book saying my firm
belief that I should be President
Hunstman: I love America so I served
as Ambassador to China
Romney: I respect that decision I
just think it destroys the nation
Huntsman: shut up pretty boy
Gregory: what pain will you bring to
the people?
Hunstman: I will cut Medicare Fluffy
Gregory: you must Social Security!
Huntsman: ok ok Fluffy
Santorum: of course we have to
means-test Social Security
Gregory: how else do you balance
the budget?
Santorum: require black people to
work harder
Gingrich: I’d like to see you in pain Fluffy
Perry: I can too name all three departments
I would cut!
Gregory: whoa slow down cowboy
Hunstman: get a load of the big brain on Rick!
Gregory: would you cut old people off Medicare
Santorum: we should let old people be
free to choose to have bad healthcare
Gregory: what about raising taxes on
very rich people
Romney: Ronald Reagan grew government!
Gregory: oh noe
Romney: we have to cut food stamps
and Medicare
Huntsman: we have to cut trillions!
Gingrich: Bill Clinton knew I hated his guts
but we worked together because he never
hounded me about all my affairs
Romney: The legislature gave me unilateral
power and I’m sure if Obama asked nicely
the GOP would do that for him
Gregory: Ron Paul you have no influence in DC
Paul: that proves how out of touch everyone is!
Gregory: how do you make people in
Washington stop being assholes?
Santorum: Ron Paul is creating vacuums!
He’s another Hoover!
Gregory: ooh
Santorum: I stood up and fought to cut aid
for mothers with children
Huntsman: Barack Obama is ignoring
wonderful people like Alan Simpson
Gregory: that is so sad
Hunstman: I want to roam around this
country generating excitement
Gregory: good luck with that
Gregory: what would you do to make
Republicans uncomfortable?
Perry: I think I’m making them pretty
uncomfortable right now!
DiStaso: should we cut home
heating oil benefits?
Huntsman: we should break up the oil
distribution monopoly!
Paul: regarding home heating oil the
gold standard is fascinating
Gregory: should Americans learn to live
with less heat?
Romney: As President I will tell states to
take care of their own damn problems
Hiller: Mitt you used to love gays so
what happened?
Romney: I put gay people on the bench
Santorum: I respect all people I just
believe we should discriminate
against gay people
Hiller: what if you had gay children?
Santorum: I would love my evil gay son
and if he married a dog I wouldn’t let
him take a ride from Mitt Romney
Perry: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Romney: we must crush government unions!
Santorum: I didn’t vote for right-to-work law
when I was a Senator but since Pennsylvania
voted me out of office screw them all
Gregory: is Obama a bad President?
Gingrich: yes
Gregory: would you care to expand on that
Gingrich: Obama is weakening America
by not fracking interns
Gregory: is the recession Obama’s fault?
Romney: Obama is controlled by labor stooges!
Perry: all three of 'em!
Hiller: what about cross-state air pollution?
Romney: I like clean air because air
that is clean is good which is nice
Gingrich: the EPA is run by radicals that
doesn’t cooperate with businesses
Hiller: John McCain says Obama is a patriot
and loves America
Perry: Obama is a socialist doesn’t reflect
our founding fathers who believed in small
whiter federal government
Gregory: Rick Santorum are you a socialist?
Santorum: I’m a bottom-up kind of guy
Hiller: is health care a right?
Paul: No!
Hiller: really
Paul: there is only one right - a right to liberty!
DiStaso: are you willing to live free or die?
Huntsman: I’m sick of all these gay-bashing assholes
Gregory: should we go to war with Iran?
Santorum: Iran is crazy because they are
religious nuts who believe that the afterlife
is better than this one
Gregory: Pakistan has nukes too
Santorum: yes but religion should have no
role at all in politics
Gregory: I see
Santorum: Obama is very weak against Pakistan
Gregory: He violated their sovereignty to
get bin Laden
Gregory: You used be against Super PACs
Gingrich: yes but then I found out
Mitt Romney is a big meanie
Gregory: you called him a predator
Gingrich: am I’m going to catch him!
Romney: I haven’t even seen these ads you speak of
Gingrich: they’re on tv moron
Romney: let me cited five things from the ad
Gingrich: I thought you hadn’t seen them
Romney: Of course my former staffers
are running ads supporting me using a PAC
I don’t control!
Gregory: will you pull all your PAC ads?
Romney: I hope these fellows I barely know
pull these ads
Gingrich: Romney has forced me to run a
slanderous movie sliming him
Santorum: Why doesn’t Obama help people
get married except for banning gay marriage?
Gregory: fascinating point
Santorum: Iran is an evil theocracy and
Obama has a secular ideology!
Gregory: thanks for coming gentlemen
**************************************
Hosts:
David Gregory
John DiStaso
Andy Hiller
Candidates:
Mitt Romney
Newt Gingrich
Rick Santorum
Rick Perry
Ron Paul
Jon Hunstman
***********************************
Gregory: Good morning and welcome
to the Fluffy Facebook debate
Candidates: good morning Mr. Zuckerberg
Gregory: please bash Mittens for me
Gingrich: because Obama is a scary black
man and Romney is timid just like Obama
Gingrich: I created 100 million jobs with
Saint Ronald and that other guy in the
1990s and I’ve been pre-smeared
Romney: we were losing jobs when I
became Governor and began adding
jobs after I took office
Gregory: that sounds like Obama
Romney: I’m a leader and Newt is a loser
Gregory: Rick you are also a loser
Santorum: Mitt didn’t even run for re-election
Gregory: he ran against Ted Kennedy
Santorum: he ran to his left and was defeated
Romney: I didn’t even to want to be
in politics!
Santorum: you ran for the Governor and
Senate and President twice idiot
Romney: my life’s passion is making
money and I’ve done that
Santorum: you will only serve one term
as President
Romney: not voluntarily
Gingrich: drop the baloney you loser
Romney: I know very well that I am
a loser dipshit
Gregory: is Romney a man of
constant conservatism?
Paul: Obama created empires and
bailed out the banks!
Perry: Wall Street dicks like Mitt Romney
caused the recession!
Gregory: Mitt what do you believe?
Romney: I wrote a book saying my firm
belief that I should be President
Hunstman: I love America so I served
as Ambassador to China
Romney: I respect that decision I
just think it destroys the nation
Huntsman: shut up pretty boy
Gregory: what pain will you bring to
the people?
Hunstman: I will cut Medicare Fluffy
Gregory: you must Social Security!
Huntsman: ok ok Fluffy
Santorum: of course we have to
means-test Social Security
Gregory: how else do you balance
the budget?
Santorum: require black people to
work harder
Gingrich: I’d like to see you in pain Fluffy
Perry: I can too name all three departments
I would cut!
Gregory: whoa slow down cowboy
Hunstman: get a load of the big brain on Rick!
Gregory: would you cut old people off Medicare
Santorum: we should let old people be
free to choose to have bad healthcare
Gregory: what about raising taxes on
very rich people
Romney: Ronald Reagan grew government!
Gregory: oh noe
Romney: we have to cut food stamps
and Medicare
Huntsman: we have to cut trillions!
Gingrich: Bill Clinton knew I hated his guts
but we worked together because he never
hounded me about all my affairs
Romney: The legislature gave me unilateral
power and I’m sure if Obama asked nicely
the GOP would do that for him
Gregory: Ron Paul you have no influence in DC
Paul: that proves how out of touch everyone is!
Gregory: how do you make people in
Washington stop being assholes?
Santorum: Ron Paul is creating vacuums!
He’s another Hoover!
Gregory: ooh
Santorum: I stood up and fought to cut aid
for mothers with children
Huntsman: Barack Obama is ignoring
wonderful people like Alan Simpson
Gregory: that is so sad
Hunstman: I want to roam around this
country generating excitement
Gregory: good luck with that
Gregory: what would you do to make
Republicans uncomfortable?
Perry: I think I’m making them pretty
uncomfortable right now!
DiStaso: should we cut home
heating oil benefits?
Huntsman: we should break up the oil
distribution monopoly!
Paul: regarding home heating oil the
gold standard is fascinating
Gregory: should Americans learn to live
with less heat?
Romney: As President I will tell states to
take care of their own damn problems
Hiller: Mitt you used to love gays so
what happened?
Romney: I put gay people on the bench
Santorum: I respect all people I just
believe we should discriminate
against gay people
Hiller: what if you had gay children?
Santorum: I would love my evil gay son
and if he married a dog I wouldn’t let
him take a ride from Mitt Romney
Perry: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Romney: we must crush government unions!
Santorum: I didn’t vote for right-to-work law
when I was a Senator but since Pennsylvania
voted me out of office screw them all
Gregory: is Obama a bad President?
Gingrich: yes
Gregory: would you care to expand on that
Gingrich: Obama is weakening America
by not fracking interns
Gregory: is the recession Obama’s fault?
Romney: Obama is controlled by labor stooges!
Perry: all three of 'em!
Hiller: what about cross-state air pollution?
Romney: I like clean air because air
that is clean is good which is nice
Gingrich: the EPA is run by radicals that
doesn’t cooperate with businesses
Hiller: John McCain says Obama is a patriot
and loves America
Perry: Obama is a socialist doesn’t reflect
our founding fathers who believed in small
whiter federal government
Gregory: Rick Santorum are you a socialist?
Santorum: I’m a bottom-up kind of guy
Hiller: is health care a right?
Paul: No!
Hiller: really
Paul: there is only one right - a right to liberty!
DiStaso: are you willing to live free or die?
Huntsman: I’m sick of all these gay-bashing assholes
Gregory: should we go to war with Iran?
Santorum: Iran is crazy because they are
religious nuts who believe that the afterlife
is better than this one
Gregory: Pakistan has nukes too
Santorum: yes but religion should have no
role at all in politics
Gregory: I see
Santorum: Obama is very weak against Pakistan
Gregory: He violated their sovereignty to
get bin Laden
Gregory: You used be against Super PACs
Gingrich: yes but then I found out
Mitt Romney is a big meanie
Gregory: you called him a predator
Gingrich: am I’m going to catch him!
Romney: I haven’t even seen these ads you speak of
Gingrich: they’re on tv moron
Romney: let me cited five things from the ad
Gingrich: I thought you hadn’t seen them
Romney: Of course my former staffers
are running ads supporting me using a PAC
I don’t control!
Gregory: will you pull all your PAC ads?
Romney: I hope these fellows I barely know
pull these ads
Gingrich: Romney has forced me to run a
slanderous movie sliming him
Santorum: Why doesn’t Obama help people
get married except for banning gay marriage?
Gregory: fascinating point
Santorum: Iran is an evil theocracy and
Obama has a secular ideology!
Gregory: thanks for coming gentlemen
**************************************
Sunday, January 01, 2012
Meet The Press - January 1, 2012
Former Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Matt Strawn - Iowa GOP Chair
Kathie Obradovich - Des Moines Register
Andrea Mitchell
Chuck Todd
Mike Murphy
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
****************************
Gregory: wow it’s a frothy field and
Santorum is rising!
Todd: Romney has the support of people who
basically have given up on life
Gregory: but will those people bother to vote?
Todd: no but Ron Paul supporters will get
up at 4:30 a.m. assuming they’re not high
Strawn: we can’t afford another four years
of slow but steady economic growth
under Barack Obama
Todd: At first people don’t like Santorum but
once they experience it they like it
Gregory: Interesting
Todd: Unlike Santorum Romney is very slippery
Gregory: Santorum’s support is more sticky
Strawn: 100,000 Iowans will pick the
next President
Gregory: that’s amazing
Strawn: unless it snows then South Carolina
gets to choose the Commander in Chief
Todd: Romney would win easily if he
never said anything
Gregory: Iowa is tiny and full of white farmers
Strawn: we are first in the nation -
it’s all we’ve got!
Todd: will Perry supporters learn to
love Santorum?
Gregory: I’ve noticed you get used to
Santorum after a while
[ break ]
Gregory: Rick Santorum you have a hot hand
Santorum: people keeps asking me
‘Santorum when are you going to surge’?
Gregory: what do you say?
Santorum: I say hold on tight I’m coming
Gregory: no other Senators endorsed you
Santorum: Santorum is not that popular
in the U.S. Senate
Gregory: ok
Santorum: I’m looking to bring Santorum to Washington
Gregory: you have experience with pork
Santorum: I alone kept Washington from exploding
Gregory: you endorsed Romney in 2008
Santorum: I respected John McCain immensely
and hate Romney therefore I endorsed
Romney just to stop McCain
Gregory: Is Romney a conservative?
Santorum: what day is it?
Gregory: ha ha
Santorum: you can’t have a strong economy
unless you repress gay people
Gregory: you are soft on fetuses
Santorum: I support abortion exceptions
but I’m not in favor of them
Gregory: you funded Amtrak
Santorum: Sadly I was forced to compromise
with Ted Kennedy on socialist railroads
Gregory: you say Obama would be dangerous
for America but Republicans are also
very unpopular
Santorum: Obama keeps dividing America
between black and white
Gregory: that sounds just like him
Santorum: Obama has refused to meet with
John Boehner for last six months
Gregory: that can’t possibly be right
Santorum: well Obama is giving speeches
attacking Republicans and that is just wrong
Gregory: Republicans are not to blame
for gidlock?
Santorum: the problem is government oppression
Gregory: ah
Santorum: Republicans discovered in 2009
that government spending is bad
Gregory: you say Obama’s foreign policy
is appeasement to evil people
Santorum: Obama wants muslim thugs
to steal elections because he is from Chicago
Gregory: of course
Santorum: Obama is bad because he didn’t
support the democracy movement in Iran and
wouldn’t support the dictator of Egypt
Gregory: that makes no sense
Santorum: It does because I don’t care about
democracy - I just hate Islam
Gregory: got it
Santorum: Bush tried to support democracy in
Iran and Obama won’t help at all!
Gregory: what would you do in Iran?
Santorum: covert action baby
Gregory: Obama is doing that
Santorum: there is no evidence that Obama
is engaging in covert actions
Gregory: do you know what the word covert means?
Santorum: we must launch air strikes against Iran!
Gregory: will you win in Iowa?
Santorum: you’re going to see a big jump
in Santorum!
[ break ]
Gregory: who is going to win Iowa?
Obradovich: Santorum is surging
Murphy: Santorum is coming out fast
Halperin: Romney has only to fear Perry
and Gingrich
Mitchell: the evangelicals may not vote
for Ricky if supports abortion when a
woman’s life in danger
Brooks: Santorum clearly explains how
gay people cause unemployment
Murphy: the churches will dump Perry
because he’s a dumbass
Obradovich: voters who are born-again but
like marijuana will support Ron Paul
Brooks: average people think America is
declining but their only answer is a
time-traveling DeLorean
Mitchell: Ron Paul would win but he’s not
war-like enough
Murphy: new people never vote in Iowa
Obradovich: Independents love to caucus
and like Ron Paul
Gregory: can I talk?
Murphy: ok ok
Gregory: Mitt Romney wants to be the
white Barack Obama
Halperin: Mitt has run the best campaign but
the White House machine is even better
Brooks: Romney is too bland to win
Gregory: America is in decline! [ sobs ]
Mitchell: Obama has not found his voice
Murphy: how you win the GOP primary but still
take the general election?
Brooks: Rick Santorum is against poverty
Gregory: then he’s doomed
Obradovich: don’t ignore Iowa!
Halperin: Santorum will squashed like a bug
Gregory: Romney’s SuperPACs are vicious
Mitchell: they crush and they kill
Murphy: Rick will fail because he is
a non-entity
Brooks: hell that dweeb couldn’t win
in Pennsylvania
Gregory: January is going to be fucking exciting!
Halperin: Mitt is going to wrap this up by
January 31
Gregory: so who wins Iowa?
Obradovich: I predict a surprise!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*******************************************
Matt Strawn - Iowa GOP Chair
Kathie Obradovich - Des Moines Register
Andrea Mitchell
Chuck Todd
Mike Murphy
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
****************************
Gregory: wow it’s a frothy field and
Santorum is rising!
Todd: Romney has the support of people who
basically have given up on life
Gregory: but will those people bother to vote?
Todd: no but Ron Paul supporters will get
up at 4:30 a.m. assuming they’re not high
Strawn: we can’t afford another four years
of slow but steady economic growth
under Barack Obama
Todd: At first people don’t like Santorum but
once they experience it they like it
Gregory: Interesting
Todd: Unlike Santorum Romney is very slippery
Gregory: Santorum’s support is more sticky
Strawn: 100,000 Iowans will pick the
next President
Gregory: that’s amazing
Strawn: unless it snows then South Carolina
gets to choose the Commander in Chief
Todd: Romney would win easily if he
never said anything
Gregory: Iowa is tiny and full of white farmers
Strawn: we are first in the nation -
it’s all we’ve got!
Todd: will Perry supporters learn to
love Santorum?
Gregory: I’ve noticed you get used to
Santorum after a while
[ break ]
Gregory: Rick Santorum you have a hot hand
Santorum: people keeps asking me
‘Santorum when are you going to surge’?
Gregory: what do you say?
Santorum: I say hold on tight I’m coming
Gregory: no other Senators endorsed you
Santorum: Santorum is not that popular
in the U.S. Senate
Gregory: ok
Santorum: I’m looking to bring Santorum to Washington
Gregory: you have experience with pork
Santorum: I alone kept Washington from exploding
Gregory: you endorsed Romney in 2008
Santorum: I respected John McCain immensely
and hate Romney therefore I endorsed
Romney just to stop McCain
Gregory: Is Romney a conservative?
Santorum: what day is it?
Gregory: ha ha
Santorum: you can’t have a strong economy
unless you repress gay people
Gregory: you are soft on fetuses
Santorum: I support abortion exceptions
but I’m not in favor of them
Gregory: you funded Amtrak
Santorum: Sadly I was forced to compromise
with Ted Kennedy on socialist railroads
Gregory: you say Obama would be dangerous
for America but Republicans are also
very unpopular
Santorum: Obama keeps dividing America
between black and white
Gregory: that sounds just like him
Santorum: Obama has refused to meet with
John Boehner for last six months
Gregory: that can’t possibly be right
Santorum: well Obama is giving speeches
attacking Republicans and that is just wrong
Gregory: Republicans are not to blame
for gidlock?
Santorum: the problem is government oppression
Gregory: ah
Santorum: Republicans discovered in 2009
that government spending is bad
Gregory: you say Obama’s foreign policy
is appeasement to evil people
Santorum: Obama wants muslim thugs
to steal elections because he is from Chicago
Gregory: of course
Santorum: Obama is bad because he didn’t
support the democracy movement in Iran and
wouldn’t support the dictator of Egypt
Gregory: that makes no sense
Santorum: It does because I don’t care about
democracy - I just hate Islam
Gregory: got it
Santorum: Bush tried to support democracy in
Iran and Obama won’t help at all!
Gregory: what would you do in Iran?
Santorum: covert action baby
Gregory: Obama is doing that
Santorum: there is no evidence that Obama
is engaging in covert actions
Gregory: do you know what the word covert means?
Santorum: we must launch air strikes against Iran!
Gregory: will you win in Iowa?
Santorum: you’re going to see a big jump
in Santorum!
[ break ]
Gregory: who is going to win Iowa?
Obradovich: Santorum is surging
Murphy: Santorum is coming out fast
Halperin: Romney has only to fear Perry
and Gingrich
Mitchell: the evangelicals may not vote
for Ricky if supports abortion when a
woman’s life in danger
Brooks: Santorum clearly explains how
gay people cause unemployment
Murphy: the churches will dump Perry
because he’s a dumbass
Obradovich: voters who are born-again but
like marijuana will support Ron Paul
Brooks: average people think America is
declining but their only answer is a
time-traveling DeLorean
Mitchell: Ron Paul would win but he’s not
war-like enough
Murphy: new people never vote in Iowa
Obradovich: Independents love to caucus
and like Ron Paul
Gregory: can I talk?
Murphy: ok ok
Gregory: Mitt Romney wants to be the
white Barack Obama
Halperin: Mitt has run the best campaign but
the White House machine is even better
Brooks: Romney is too bland to win
Gregory: America is in decline! [ sobs ]
Mitchell: Obama has not found his voice
Murphy: how you win the GOP primary but still
take the general election?
Brooks: Rick Santorum is against poverty
Gregory: then he’s doomed
Obradovich: don’t ignore Iowa!
Halperin: Santorum will squashed like a bug
Gregory: Romney’s SuperPACs are vicious
Mitchell: they crush and they kill
Murphy: Rick will fail because he is
a non-entity
Brooks: hell that dweeb couldn’t win
in Pennsylvania
Gregory: January is going to be fucking exciting!
Halperin: Mitt is going to wrap this up by
January 31
Gregory: so who wins Iowa?
Obradovich: I predict a surprise!
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
*******************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - January 1, 2012
Guests:
Jake Tapper - Host
Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX)
Byron York
Neera Tanden
Craig Robinson
Matthew Dowd
******************************
Tapper: OMG Rick Santorum is coming up from
behind to nail Mitt Romney while Michele
Bachmann brings up the rear!
Karl: Newt Gingrich will not vote for Newt Gingrich
which makes him much like the average American
Gingrich: Politics has become a very nasty
business and dammit I deserve more credit
Bachmann: My campaign chair is an idiot
Luntz: Newt will you cry for me
Newt: I can’t believe I’m losing to Rick Perry!
[ sobs ]
[ break ]
Tapper: Ron Paul you are popular but your
critics say you are crazy and unelectable
Paul: my critics are ignorant
whippersnappers dagnabit
Tapper: you are against two of my favorite wars
Paul: I will cut a trillion dollars from the budget
Tapper: criminy
Paul: I have support from Democrats,
independents and assorted weirdoes
who love liberty
Tapper: did you actually write the Ron Paul
Newsletter?
Paul: I wrote all the good stuff but none
of the bad stuff
Tapper: who wrote the racist stuff?
Paul: who can say - probably some racist
Tapper: I see
Paul: Hey I’m against the drug war, death
penalty, useless wars and the court system
Tapper: Do you think the 9/11 attacks were
done by the CIA
Paul: No you blockhead
Tapper: you couldn’t manage a newsletter
with nine people on it?
Paul: Hundreds of people worked on the
Ron Paul newsletter!
Tapper: ah
Paul: the important thing is all the non-racist
things I have often said
Tapper: good luck doc
[ break ]
Tapper: Michele you won the Iowa straw poll and
now no one likes you - what went wrong?
Bachmann: what happened is I have traveled to
all 99 counties in Iowa and met people in person
Tapper: and your poll numbers plummeted
Bachmann: I have literally gone from town to town
looking for supporters
Tapper: have you found any?
Bachmann: no but I will keep looking
Tapper: Rick Santorum is a lot like you but smart
Bachmann: yes but I sit on the House
Intelligence Committee
Tapper: that is amazing
Bachmann: I am the IRS candidate
Tapper: really
Bachmann: I also refused to pay the bills
Republicans ran up when Bush was President
Tapper: that’s hard core
Bachmann: I also hate gay people even more
than Rick Santorum
Tapper: with all due respect I find
that hard to believe
Bachmann: I have 23 foster children
Tapper: will they vote for you?
Bachmann: I’m not looking at my rear view
mirror for Santorum
Tapper: you’re in last place
Bachmann: I am number one in enthusiasm!
Tapper: will your drop out after Iowa?
Bachmann: I am just like Margaret Thatcher
Tapper: how so?
Bachmann: she also was never elected
President of the United States
Tapper: Good luck Michele
[ break ]
Tapper: Romney leads and Ron Paul is right behind
York: Santorum may rise and make a splash
Tanden: Romney does not mind
Santorum coming up behind him
Robinson: Santorum has come up from
the back
Dowd: Santorum will not maintain his stickiness
Tapper: I see
Tanden: Romney will be the least popular
winner ever
York: negative ads work - who knew?
Robinson: Romney is a flip-flopper but
don’t tell anyone
York: the conservatives are all attacking
each other which will end up nominating Mitt
Tanden: Newt Gingrich has picked the wrong
time not to be an asshole
Tapper: he’s going to draw a contrast by
accusing Rick Santorum of murdering
Susan Smith’s children
York: Gingrich pretending to be statesmen
was great until Romney reminded people
what a dick he is
Robinson: well it’s too late now
Tapper: poor Newt
**********************************************
Jake Tapper - Host
Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX)
Byron York
Neera Tanden
Craig Robinson
Matthew Dowd
******************************
Tapper: OMG Rick Santorum is coming up from
behind to nail Mitt Romney while Michele
Bachmann brings up the rear!
Karl: Newt Gingrich will not vote for Newt Gingrich
which makes him much like the average American
Gingrich: Politics has become a very nasty
business and dammit I deserve more credit
Bachmann: My campaign chair is an idiot
Luntz: Newt will you cry for me
Newt: I can’t believe I’m losing to Rick Perry!
[ sobs ]
[ break ]
Tapper: Ron Paul you are popular but your
critics say you are crazy and unelectable
Paul: my critics are ignorant
whippersnappers dagnabit
Tapper: you are against two of my favorite wars
Paul: I will cut a trillion dollars from the budget
Tapper: criminy
Paul: I have support from Democrats,
independents and assorted weirdoes
who love liberty
Tapper: did you actually write the Ron Paul
Newsletter?
Paul: I wrote all the good stuff but none
of the bad stuff
Tapper: who wrote the racist stuff?
Paul: who can say - probably some racist
Tapper: I see
Paul: Hey I’m against the drug war, death
penalty, useless wars and the court system
Tapper: Do you think the 9/11 attacks were
done by the CIA
Paul: No you blockhead
Tapper: you couldn’t manage a newsletter
with nine people on it?
Paul: Hundreds of people worked on the
Ron Paul newsletter!
Tapper: ah
Paul: the important thing is all the non-racist
things I have often said
Tapper: good luck doc
[ break ]
Tapper: Michele you won the Iowa straw poll and
now no one likes you - what went wrong?
Bachmann: what happened is I have traveled to
all 99 counties in Iowa and met people in person
Tapper: and your poll numbers plummeted
Bachmann: I have literally gone from town to town
looking for supporters
Tapper: have you found any?
Bachmann: no but I will keep looking
Tapper: Rick Santorum is a lot like you but smart
Bachmann: yes but I sit on the House
Intelligence Committee
Tapper: that is amazing
Bachmann: I am the IRS candidate
Tapper: really
Bachmann: I also refused to pay the bills
Republicans ran up when Bush was President
Tapper: that’s hard core
Bachmann: I also hate gay people even more
than Rick Santorum
Tapper: with all due respect I find
that hard to believe
Bachmann: I have 23 foster children
Tapper: will they vote for you?
Bachmann: I’m not looking at my rear view
mirror for Santorum
Tapper: you’re in last place
Bachmann: I am number one in enthusiasm!
Tapper: will your drop out after Iowa?
Bachmann: I am just like Margaret Thatcher
Tapper: how so?
Bachmann: she also was never elected
President of the United States
Tapper: Good luck Michele
[ break ]
Tapper: Romney leads and Ron Paul is right behind
York: Santorum may rise and make a splash
Tanden: Romney does not mind
Santorum coming up behind him
Robinson: Santorum has come up from
the back
Dowd: Santorum will not maintain his stickiness
Tapper: I see
Tanden: Romney will be the least popular
winner ever
York: negative ads work - who knew?
Robinson: Romney is a flip-flopper but
don’t tell anyone
York: the conservatives are all attacking
each other which will end up nominating Mitt
Tanden: Newt Gingrich has picked the wrong
time not to be an asshole
Tapper: he’s going to draw a contrast by
accusing Rick Santorum of murdering
Susan Smith’s children
York: Gingrich pretending to be statesmen
was great until Romney reminded people
what a dick he is
Robinson: well it’s too late now
Tapper: poor Newt
**********************************************
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Meet The Press - December 18, 2011
Guests:
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC)
E.J. Dionne
Mike Murphy
***************************************
Gregory: good morning audience - remember when
we invaded Iraq? Funny story - it was all a mistake
but after 4,500 Americans killed and spending
$800 billion dollars it ended last night now
let’s talk to Republican Speaker John Boehner
Gregory: Mr. Speaker will you raise taxes
on poor people?
Boehner: Obama is right you can’t have a
two-month tax cut
Gregory: so what kind of bill can you pass?
Boehner: we gave the President everything
he asked for
Gregory: you did?
Boehner: yes we cut taxes for rich people and
demanded an oil pipeline across America
Gregory: those are things you wanted
Boehner: David you are trying to divide America
Gregory: what about this pipeline?
Boehner: if are energy-independent we won’t have
to invade any more middle eastern countries -
I thought liberals were against that -
make up you mind hippies!
Gregory: Unemployment is at three-year low -
isn’t that good news?
Boehner: No - and I mean that
Gregory: you’re such a grouch
Boehner: look maybe things are better but
Obama is still a bad socialist
Gregory: nevertheless the economy seems
to be improving
Boehner: Obama caused the recession in
2007 dammit
Gregory: Congress is less popular than herpes
but more popular the Kardashians
Boehner: that is also Obama’s fault
Gregory: Obama says Republicans obstruct
everything he does
Boehner: that’s true
Gregory: Do you trust Obama?
Boehner: I do trust him
Gregory: it sounds like you and Obama both
hate the Tea Party
Boehner: It’s close but I think he hates them
more than I do
Gregory: Should we have pulled out of Iraq
so quickly after only 9 years?
Boehner: we went there to protect Iraq from
invasion from other counties and I’m worried
out leaving could hurt that effort
Gregory: Is Newt Gingrich insane?
Boehner: no comment
Gregory: everyone I talk to who knows him
hates his guts
Boehner: he’s not that conservative you know
Gregory: how so?
Boehner: I’ve never actually seem kill anyone
Gregory: Regular Republicans don’t want
Mitt Romney
Boehner: the American government is
destroying the American dream
Gregory: will you pass a payroll tax cut or
will you ruin Christmas?
Boehner: yes if we can an oil pipeline in
your backyard
Gregory: thanks for coming
Gregory: welcome Michele Bachmann
Bachmann: nice to meet you Fluffy
Gregory: would you raise taxes on the
poorest Americans?
Bachmann: yes because can’t afford more tax cuts
after all these tax cuts we already gave people
Gregory: but those all went to rich people
Bachmann: see - we’ve cut taxes enough already!
Gregory: but cutting taxes for low income people
is very popular
Bachmann: look the debt soared under Reagan,
Bush and Junior and now is the time for
poor people to pay for it
Gregory: Interesting
Bachmann: Obama just like a dictator of
some banana republic
Gregory: you’re on a roll now
Bachmann: the deficit has gone up 1,000%
from Bush to Obama
Gregory: I’m being told you are now lying
to my viewers
Bachmann: let me finish lying Fluffy
Gregory: the debt soared under George W. Bush
Bachmann: the deficit went from
$160 billion
to $1.5 trillion
Gregory: some people say you are a
compulsive liar
Bachmann: like who?
Gregory: Newt Gingrich
Bachmann: he’s a corrupt megalomaniac
Gregory: PolitiFact also said you were lying about PolitiFact
Bachmann: They’re lying too!
Gregory: the Des Moines Register published
a riddle today: What do Michele Bachmann
and Donald Trump have in common?
Bachmann: we’re both serious conservatives?
Gregory: Answer is “Trump lies under a rug
and you lie like a rug”
Bachmann: I tell the truth!
Gregory: is that true?
Bachmann: sometimes it is
Gregory: would President Bachmann ignore
decisions by the Supreme Court?
Bachmann: people think all laws are written
by courts and that’s not true - there are also
laws passed by Congress
Gregory: even small children know that
Bachmann: well I didn’t
Gregory: so would prefer Supreme Court
justices run for office?
Bachmann: the Supreme Court can’t make laws!
Gregory: so what’s the remedy?
Bachmann: Congress has the power to
remove bad justices
Gregory: so you would impeach justices for
making decisions you don’t agree with?
Bachmann: what do you mean?
Gregory: what do you mean?
Bachmann: Congress should just overturn
the Supreme Court!
Gregory: ok ok - should we attack Iran?
Bachmann: Iran is about to get a nuclear bomb!
Gregory: so what would you do about it?
Bachmann: Iran will use a nuclear weapon
on Israel and oh maybe the United States
Gregory: would you start a war with Iran or not?
Bachmann: we need to look this threat in the eye!
Gregory: thanks for coming Michele
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Governor Haley - you endorsed
Romney by noting how imperfect he is
Haley: he’s the best of a bad bunch
Gregory: no one loves Mitt Romney
Haley: Mitt Romney has had four years to
think about what he fundamentally believes
and he’s almost there
Gregory: name some things you hate
about Newt Gingrich
Haley: I’m not going to answer that because
your tv show is only one hour long
Gregory: what about Rick Perry?
Haley: the people are South Carolina are very
smart and so I don’t think Perry will do well
Gregory: can you deliver Tea Party votes when
you are less popular than Obama?
Haley: that poll also said Obama would win
South Carolina and since that isn’t possible
the poll must be flawed
Gregory: I see
Haley: the Tea Party cares about liberty, the
10th Amendment and getting the government
out of Medicare
Gregory: will Mitt Romney win the election in 2012?
Haley: Mitt Romney has fixed everything he
has ever touched including the Olympics and
Massachusetts and Romney 2.0
Gregory: thanks for coming Nikki
[ break ]
Gregory: is the race down to Romney and Gingrich?
Murphy: yes - and Ron Paul
Gregory: Romney did not go after Gingrich in the
debates but he’s attacking Newt on tv in Iowa
Dionne: you are seeing the Revenge of the Base
against the Establishment
Gregory: I see
Dionne: there are two weeks for Romney to cripple
Gingrich but if he goes too far the base might
get angry - and you won’t like them when
they’re angry
Murphy: Newt has embraced Marxism too
early in the primary
Dionne: Could Gingrich win Iowa and then do
well in New Hampshire and take the nomination?
Murphy: or does Romney do ok in Iowa and then
win easily New Hampshire and take the nomination?
Dionne: Newt is Nixon in 1968
Gregory: oh good
Dionne: Newt is going to call Obama a
Kenyan socialist and primary voters love
that crazy shit
Gregory: People inside the beltway think
Newt Gingrich is a loose cannon and an asshole
Dionne: liberals said this in 1994 and wingnuts
said “why do hate his hubristic vision?”
Dionne: can the GOP really raise taxes in order
to defend a giant oil pipeline?
Murphy: um no
Gregory: will Obama be reelected?
Murphy: the economy is bad but Newt Gingrich
is a right looney
Gregory: if the economy improves will the House
GOP try to take credit?
Dionne: Obama has moved into campaign mode
while the primary debates have just made the
GOP look like a bunch of out-of-touch weirdos
Gregory: and we’ll be back a new episode
Christmas morning but instead of three wise
men we will have me Tom Brokaw and Tom Friedman
******************************************
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Gov. Nikki Haley (R-SC)
E.J. Dionne
Mike Murphy
***************************************
Gregory: good morning audience - remember when
we invaded Iraq? Funny story - it was all a mistake
but after 4,500 Americans killed and spending
$800 billion dollars it ended last night now
let’s talk to Republican Speaker John Boehner
Gregory: Mr. Speaker will you raise taxes
on poor people?
Boehner: Obama is right you can’t have a
two-month tax cut
Gregory: so what kind of bill can you pass?
Boehner: we gave the President everything
he asked for
Gregory: you did?
Boehner: yes we cut taxes for rich people and
demanded an oil pipeline across America
Gregory: those are things you wanted
Boehner: David you are trying to divide America
Gregory: what about this pipeline?
Boehner: if are energy-independent we won’t have
to invade any more middle eastern countries -
I thought liberals were against that -
make up you mind hippies!
Gregory: Unemployment is at three-year low -
isn’t that good news?
Boehner: No - and I mean that
Gregory: you’re such a grouch
Boehner: look maybe things are better but
Obama is still a bad socialist
Gregory: nevertheless the economy seems
to be improving
Boehner: Obama caused the recession in
2007 dammit
Gregory: Congress is less popular than herpes
but more popular the Kardashians
Boehner: that is also Obama’s fault
Gregory: Obama says Republicans obstruct
everything he does
Boehner: that’s true
Gregory: Do you trust Obama?
Boehner: I do trust him
Gregory: it sounds like you and Obama both
hate the Tea Party
Boehner: It’s close but I think he hates them
more than I do
Gregory: Should we have pulled out of Iraq
so quickly after only 9 years?
Boehner: we went there to protect Iraq from
invasion from other counties and I’m worried
out leaving could hurt that effort
Gregory: Is Newt Gingrich insane?
Boehner: no comment
Gregory: everyone I talk to who knows him
hates his guts
Boehner: he’s not that conservative you know
Gregory: how so?
Boehner: I’ve never actually seem kill anyone
Gregory: Regular Republicans don’t want
Mitt Romney
Boehner: the American government is
destroying the American dream
Gregory: will you pass a payroll tax cut or
will you ruin Christmas?
Boehner: yes if we can an oil pipeline in
your backyard
Gregory: thanks for coming
Gregory: welcome Michele Bachmann
Bachmann: nice to meet you Fluffy
Gregory: would you raise taxes on the
poorest Americans?
Bachmann: yes because can’t afford more tax cuts
after all these tax cuts we already gave people
Gregory: but those all went to rich people
Bachmann: see - we’ve cut taxes enough already!
Gregory: but cutting taxes for low income people
is very popular
Bachmann: look the debt soared under Reagan,
Bush and Junior and now is the time for
poor people to pay for it
Gregory: Interesting
Bachmann: Obama just like a dictator of
some banana republic
Gregory: you’re on a roll now
Bachmann: the deficit has gone up 1,000%
from Bush to Obama
Gregory: I’m being told you are now lying
to my viewers
Bachmann: let me finish lying Fluffy
Gregory: the debt soared under George W. Bush
Bachmann: the deficit went from
$160 billion
to $1.5 trillion
Gregory: some people say you are a
compulsive liar
Bachmann: like who?
Gregory: Newt Gingrich
Bachmann: he’s a corrupt megalomaniac
Gregory: PolitiFact also said you were lying about PolitiFact
Bachmann: They’re lying too!
Gregory: the Des Moines Register published
a riddle today: What do Michele Bachmann
and Donald Trump have in common?
Bachmann: we’re both serious conservatives?
Gregory: Answer is “Trump lies under a rug
and you lie like a rug”
Bachmann: I tell the truth!
Gregory: is that true?
Bachmann: sometimes it is
Gregory: would President Bachmann ignore
decisions by the Supreme Court?
Bachmann: people think all laws are written
by courts and that’s not true - there are also
laws passed by Congress
Gregory: even small children know that
Bachmann: well I didn’t
Gregory: so would prefer Supreme Court
justices run for office?
Bachmann: the Supreme Court can’t make laws!
Gregory: so what’s the remedy?
Bachmann: Congress has the power to
remove bad justices
Gregory: so you would impeach justices for
making decisions you don’t agree with?
Bachmann: what do you mean?
Gregory: what do you mean?
Bachmann: Congress should just overturn
the Supreme Court!
Gregory: ok ok - should we attack Iran?
Bachmann: Iran is about to get a nuclear bomb!
Gregory: so what would you do about it?
Bachmann: Iran will use a nuclear weapon
on Israel and oh maybe the United States
Gregory: would you start a war with Iran or not?
Bachmann: we need to look this threat in the eye!
Gregory: thanks for coming Michele
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Governor Haley - you endorsed
Romney by noting how imperfect he is
Haley: he’s the best of a bad bunch
Gregory: no one loves Mitt Romney
Haley: Mitt Romney has had four years to
think about what he fundamentally believes
and he’s almost there
Gregory: name some things you hate
about Newt Gingrich
Haley: I’m not going to answer that because
your tv show is only one hour long
Gregory: what about Rick Perry?
Haley: the people are South Carolina are very
smart and so I don’t think Perry will do well
Gregory: can you deliver Tea Party votes when
you are less popular than Obama?
Haley: that poll also said Obama would win
South Carolina and since that isn’t possible
the poll must be flawed
Gregory: I see
Haley: the Tea Party cares about liberty, the
10th Amendment and getting the government
out of Medicare
Gregory: will Mitt Romney win the election in 2012?
Haley: Mitt Romney has fixed everything he
has ever touched including the Olympics and
Massachusetts and Romney 2.0
Gregory: thanks for coming Nikki
[ break ]
Gregory: is the race down to Romney and Gingrich?
Murphy: yes - and Ron Paul
Gregory: Romney did not go after Gingrich in the
debates but he’s attacking Newt on tv in Iowa
Dionne: you are seeing the Revenge of the Base
against the Establishment
Gregory: I see
Dionne: there are two weeks for Romney to cripple
Gingrich but if he goes too far the base might
get angry - and you won’t like them when
they’re angry
Murphy: Newt has embraced Marxism too
early in the primary
Dionne: Could Gingrich win Iowa and then do
well in New Hampshire and take the nomination?
Murphy: or does Romney do ok in Iowa and then
win easily New Hampshire and take the nomination?
Dionne: Newt is Nixon in 1968
Gregory: oh good
Dionne: Newt is going to call Obama a
Kenyan socialist and primary voters love
that crazy shit
Gregory: People inside the beltway think
Newt Gingrich is a loose cannon and an asshole
Dionne: liberals said this in 1994 and wingnuts
said “why do hate his hubristic vision?”
Dionne: can the GOP really raise taxes in order
to defend a giant oil pipeline?
Murphy: um no
Gregory: will Obama be reelected?
Murphy: the economy is bad but Newt Gingrich
is a right looney
Gregory: if the economy improves will the House
GOP try to take credit?
Dionne: Obama has moved into campaign mode
while the primary debates have just made the
GOP look like a bunch of out-of-touch weirdos
Gregory: and we’ll be back a new episode
Christmas morning but instead of three wise
men we will have me Tom Brokaw and Tom Friedman
******************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 18, 2011
Guests:
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA)
Robert Reich
George Will
*************************************
Amanpour: Today we debate the defining
issue of our time: Should Government get its
damn hands off our Medicare?
Audience: how fascinating
Amanpour: Has government gotten too
government big - and who was really right?
Alexander Hamilton or Thomas Jefferson?
Audience: the white guy or the other white guy
Karl: just because of the darn Depression we
got the New Deal and all those meat inspectors
Audience: I like bacteria-free meat but I hate taxes
Amanpour: Today we have the most brilliant
minds in Washington DC by which I mean
four middle-aged white guys
Ryan: Government is like sugar, fat or
reality television - more of it is always bad
Amanpour: good point Paul
Ryan: the left says we are Hobbesian and
cruel and mean - but Obama’s crony capitalism
proved government doesn’t work!
Frank: we need government to fight wars and
build bridges and clean the environment but
we needs less government telling people not
to have sex the way conservatives want them to
Amanpour: Isn’t government just always bad?
Reich: thank for your loaded question and
this debate which is obviously designed to
bash government
Amanpour: Thank you Bob
Reich: People don’t trust a government that
harasses brown people or big Wall Street
that steals from people
Amanpour: Didn’t the New Deal put people to work?
Will: Government didn’t create any jobs until
a tiny government launched World War Two
Amanpour: how amazing
Will: Obama’s stimulus created jobs but not enough
Frank: Obama rescued the American automobile
industry oh and by the way Republicans
thanks for the recent depression
Amanpour: Paul you voted for the Wall Street
and auto bailouts
Ryan: yes but in my defense I was wrong
Amanpour: did the stimulus fail or did it prevent
a worse depression?
Ryan: that involves facts and so it impossible to say
Reich: we should have put strings on
the Bush bailout
Ryan: true
Frank: oh thanks Republicans for the
no-strings bailout
Audience: can we prevent another bailout?
Frank: we passed a law saying no
government bailouts again
Will: We should break up the banks!
Frank: yes but which ones George?
Will: the big ones!
Ryan: liberals wants bureaucrats to run America
Frank: we want the government to pick and
choose who to bail out
Ryan: we should not bail anyone out until its
an emergency when we can’t think about it!
Amanpour: Why do the top 1% have as much
as the bottom 40%?
Ryan: because liberals punish rich people and
poor people say why should I bother becoming
rich the government will just take it away
Will: Government always responds to
bad rich people
Amanpour: very bold of you to say George
Will: also the elderly are too rich and powerful
Amanpour: ok
Reich: yes rich people and corporations have
to much influence over government - but the
answer is not to shrink government but to get
money out of politics
Will: harrumph
Reich: the top tax rate under Eisenhower
was under 90%
Will: I don’t hate the elderly but they are
Greedy, selfish and destructive
Frank: ok George if you’re so concerned about
bad rich people let’s raise taxes on the wealthy
and spend it on poor people
Amanpour: most people don’t pay taxes
Frank: Christiane that’s right-wing bullshit
Audience: how do you stop special interests
from buying government influence?
Ryan: by reducing government obviously
Reich: that’s fine but government won’t be
reduced until we get money out of politics
Ryan: well we enacted McCain-Feingold so
everything should be fine
Reich: god you really are an insufferable little twit
Will: just leave everything to the free market
Reich: that’s great until we all get killed in
the name of profit
Will: some of us think all problems in the
world are caused by government
Audience: don’t we need red-light cameras?
Amanpour: of course we do
Will: Personal liberty!
Frank: so remove criminal penalties on marijuana
and internet gambling, gay marriage and all the
other right-wing expansions of government
Reich: we can unite the left and right to
defend freedom until we demagogue
each other on terror
Ryan: the left is the true Big Brother
Amanpour: what about social issues?
Ryan: that’s a totally different debate where
big government is awesome
Frank: the military is part of the problem
Ryan: our soldiers are rebuilding Afghanistan
to defend our freedom which we are giving away
Audience: I am an evangelical minister and 48%
of people in America are poor and yet most
people don’t know that
Ryan: Inequality is actually a good thing because
it means more people are getting rich
Frank: meanwhile real people are suffering
from mindless budget-cutting
Reich: government enacted laws requiring
racial equality and that was a good thing
Frank: what about pot?
Will: we need to do more research on marijuana
but until then it should be illegal
Frank: yes that makes sense
Amanpour: should government spend money
on poor people?
Ryan: calling people “poor” makes it seems like
they are “stuck in a class” - I prefer to call
poor people the “potentially rich” and I offer them
“future tax cuts” which they will be deeply grateful
for in a “hypothetical future.”
Amanpour: that’s highly imaginative
Ryan: We should get rid of crony capitalism
by which I mean we should means testing Medicare
Will: Government harms freedom and equality
by allowing rich people to influence government
and the answer is for government to not exist
except for roads and bridges and defense and
the mail and drugs and gays
Reich: yes - big businesses do influence government
- how do we solve that problem because we
can’t get rid of all government
Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone
****************************************
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA)
Robert Reich
George Will
*************************************
Amanpour: Today we debate the defining
issue of our time: Should Government get its
damn hands off our Medicare?
Audience: how fascinating
Amanpour: Has government gotten too
government big - and who was really right?
Alexander Hamilton or Thomas Jefferson?
Audience: the white guy or the other white guy
Karl: just because of the darn Depression we
got the New Deal and all those meat inspectors
Audience: I like bacteria-free meat but I hate taxes
Amanpour: Today we have the most brilliant
minds in Washington DC by which I mean
four middle-aged white guys
Ryan: Government is like sugar, fat or
reality television - more of it is always bad
Amanpour: good point Paul
Ryan: the left says we are Hobbesian and
cruel and mean - but Obama’s crony capitalism
proved government doesn’t work!
Frank: we need government to fight wars and
build bridges and clean the environment but
we needs less government telling people not
to have sex the way conservatives want them to
Amanpour: Isn’t government just always bad?
Reich: thank for your loaded question and
this debate which is obviously designed to
bash government
Amanpour: Thank you Bob
Reich: People don’t trust a government that
harasses brown people or big Wall Street
that steals from people
Amanpour: Didn’t the New Deal put people to work?
Will: Government didn’t create any jobs until
a tiny government launched World War Two
Amanpour: how amazing
Will: Obama’s stimulus created jobs but not enough
Frank: Obama rescued the American automobile
industry oh and by the way Republicans
thanks for the recent depression
Amanpour: Paul you voted for the Wall Street
and auto bailouts
Ryan: yes but in my defense I was wrong
Amanpour: did the stimulus fail or did it prevent
a worse depression?
Ryan: that involves facts and so it impossible to say
Reich: we should have put strings on
the Bush bailout
Ryan: true
Frank: oh thanks Republicans for the
no-strings bailout
Audience: can we prevent another bailout?
Frank: we passed a law saying no
government bailouts again
Will: We should break up the banks!
Frank: yes but which ones George?
Will: the big ones!
Ryan: liberals wants bureaucrats to run America
Frank: we want the government to pick and
choose who to bail out
Ryan: we should not bail anyone out until its
an emergency when we can’t think about it!
Amanpour: Why do the top 1% have as much
as the bottom 40%?
Ryan: because liberals punish rich people and
poor people say why should I bother becoming
rich the government will just take it away
Will: Government always responds to
bad rich people
Amanpour: very bold of you to say George
Will: also the elderly are too rich and powerful
Amanpour: ok
Reich: yes rich people and corporations have
to much influence over government - but the
answer is not to shrink government but to get
money out of politics
Will: harrumph
Reich: the top tax rate under Eisenhower
was under 90%
Will: I don’t hate the elderly but they are
Greedy, selfish and destructive
Frank: ok George if you’re so concerned about
bad rich people let’s raise taxes on the wealthy
and spend it on poor people
Amanpour: most people don’t pay taxes
Frank: Christiane that’s right-wing bullshit
Audience: how do you stop special interests
from buying government influence?
Ryan: by reducing government obviously
Reich: that’s fine but government won’t be
reduced until we get money out of politics
Ryan: well we enacted McCain-Feingold so
everything should be fine
Reich: god you really are an insufferable little twit
Will: just leave everything to the free market
Reich: that’s great until we all get killed in
the name of profit
Will: some of us think all problems in the
world are caused by government
Audience: don’t we need red-light cameras?
Amanpour: of course we do
Will: Personal liberty!
Frank: so remove criminal penalties on marijuana
and internet gambling, gay marriage and all the
other right-wing expansions of government
Reich: we can unite the left and right to
defend freedom until we demagogue
each other on terror
Ryan: the left is the true Big Brother
Amanpour: what about social issues?
Ryan: that’s a totally different debate where
big government is awesome
Frank: the military is part of the problem
Ryan: our soldiers are rebuilding Afghanistan
to defend our freedom which we are giving away
Audience: I am an evangelical minister and 48%
of people in America are poor and yet most
people don’t know that
Ryan: Inequality is actually a good thing because
it means more people are getting rich
Frank: meanwhile real people are suffering
from mindless budget-cutting
Reich: government enacted laws requiring
racial equality and that was a good thing
Frank: what about pot?
Will: we need to do more research on marijuana
but until then it should be illegal
Frank: yes that makes sense
Amanpour: should government spend money
on poor people?
Ryan: calling people “poor” makes it seems like
they are “stuck in a class” - I prefer to call
poor people the “potentially rich” and I offer them
“future tax cuts” which they will be deeply grateful
for in a “hypothetical future.”
Amanpour: that’s highly imaginative
Ryan: We should get rid of crony capitalism
by which I mean we should means testing Medicare
Will: Government harms freedom and equality
by allowing rich people to influence government
and the answer is for government to not exist
except for roads and bridges and defense and
the mail and drugs and gays
Reich: yes - big businesses do influence government
- how do we solve that problem because we
can’t get rid of all government
Amanpour: thanks for coming everyone
****************************************
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Meet The Press - December 11, 2011
Guests:
Ron Paul
Sen. Richard Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Gov. Terry Branstad (R-IA)
Ted Koppel
Chuck Todd
Lisa Myers
Alex Castellanos
************************************
Gregory: holy cow Newt Gingrich has a
big lead in the Presidential race
Gregory: Did Newt do anything insane last night?
Paul: no more than anyone else
Gregory: you say Newt should not have
taken money from Freddie Mac
Gingrich: I was in the private sector!
Paul: Poppycock!
Gregory: you’re funny
Paul: this was very annoying to because I’ve
worked on this issue and Newt is just a
common grifter
Gregory: should he apologize and give
the money back
Paul: of course it’s totally immoral and why
is government influence for sale anyway?
Gregory: who is the most consistent
conservative in the race?
Paul: why should we nominate someone who
has to keep explaining all his flip-flops?
Gregory: are both Romney and Gingrich unacceptable?
Paul: they’re unprincipled
Gregory: you always attack Newt and
not Mittens - why is that?
Paul: Because I had to work with Newt Gingrich
and he is probably the biggest jerk I’ve
ever dealt with
Gregory: then Newt represents the biggest change
Paul: yes but Newt defends the welfare state
Gregory: Gingrich says Palestinians are
fake people and inherent murderers
Paul: see what I mean - this guy is bullshit
in a China shop
Gregory: what about he said?
Paul: Newt is just an uncontrolled demagogue
Gregory: when you lose who will you endorse?
Paul: I will have to wait to see if Mitt flip-flops again
Gregory: would you run for President with
a third-party?
Paul: only the Sith deal in absolutes!
Gregory: so you are considering it
Paul: why not - it can’t get any worse out there!
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay - is Newt for real?
Graham: darn right he is
Gregory: is he not crazy anymore?
Graham: yes he is less immature and not
quite as dickish
Gregory: you led the coup against him but
would you endorse him?
Graham: no I would not
Gregory: who will you endorse?
Graham: Hell Ron Paul if it will prevent him
from making a third-party run
Gregory: what about the payroll tax extension?
Durbin: this means an extra $1,000 for
160 million Americans!
Gregory: that could buy you a meal for four
people at the Palm!
Durbin: we offered a tax on the second million
dollars of income and the GOP said no because
it would affect Job Creators
Gregory: the GOP is willing to cut taxes as long
we build a huge oil pipeline through the U.S.
Graham: I love that long pipeline
Gregory: what about the payroll tax?
Graham: candidly we have to extend the
tax cut or commit political suicide
Obama: America has to reward hard work!
Graham: Obama caused the Great Recession in 2007
Gregory: wow
Graham: Obama almost caused a loss of
jobs in South Carolina
Gregory: but he didn’t?
Graham: he could have
Gregory: I see
Graham: Dodd-Frank retroactively caused
the credit crisis!
Durbin: Wall Street caused the recession
you hayseed
Lindsay: The consumer protection bureau
is basically Stalinist
Durbin: you see what we’re up against?
Gregory: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Gregory: holy crap Gingrich leads in the
south by double-digits
Gingrich: Mittens you are a career politician
just a loser at it
Todd: Romney keeps trying to go negative on
Gingrich but he has so many negatives its hard
to choose just one
Myers: Gingrich loves verbal combat much
more than real combat which he writes
novels about
Gregory: Romney likes to settles fights
by betting $10,000
Branstad: Obama has increased the debt
when all the American people want is increased
spending and lower taxes
Gregory: who do we need?
Branstad: we need someone who won’t increase
the debt like Ronald Reagan
Gregory: Reagan inherited a recession and
slowly brought American back
Branstad: see totally unlike Obama
Castellanos: people want big change and
Romney promises out-of-touch elitism
Koppel: the fact that people are even considering
nominating Newt Gingrich leaves me speechless
Castellanos: America is in such big trouble we
need a President who is a little crazy
Branstad: the most important thing we can
do in this recession is cut spending
Gregory: I see
Branstad: Dodd-Frank cause the recession!
Gregory: is Romeny not in Iowa enough?
Branstad: yes he must live here and also
promise to revive the rice industry
Castellanos: Mitt Romney is a transformational
figure - he transformed Massachusetts,
Bain Capital, the Olympics and himself
Romney: I’m not a bomb-thrower
Gingrich: we need to throw bombs - especially in
the middle east
Koppel: even in Israel Newt is an
anti-Palestinian extremist
Todd: Romney says he’s sober and
Newt says Mitty is just timid
Myers: Every Republican I talk to thinks Newt is
a crazy person who damaged conservatism
for a generation
Gregory: does marriage matter?
Perry: if you cheat on your wife you
might cheat on your business partner
which would be really bad
Gingrich: God forgave me so you all
might as well too
Koppel: the Drug Enforcement Agency is
still in Iraq
Gregory: oh shit
Koppel: we will leave just enough
Americans in Iraq to serve as an excuse
to start a war with Iran
Gregory: how delightful
[ break ]
Gregory: hey gang Ron Paul is incredibly
popular on Twitter
Todd: Newt Gingrich is the heavy favorite
to win the nomination now
Branstad: Paul would win in Iowa
but college students tend to sleep right
through the caucuses
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
****************************************
Ron Paul
Sen. Richard Durbin (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC)
Gov. Terry Branstad (R-IA)
Ted Koppel
Chuck Todd
Lisa Myers
Alex Castellanos
************************************
Gregory: holy cow Newt Gingrich has a
big lead in the Presidential race
Gregory: Did Newt do anything insane last night?
Paul: no more than anyone else
Gregory: you say Newt should not have
taken money from Freddie Mac
Gingrich: I was in the private sector!
Paul: Poppycock!
Gregory: you’re funny
Paul: this was very annoying to because I’ve
worked on this issue and Newt is just a
common grifter
Gregory: should he apologize and give
the money back
Paul: of course it’s totally immoral and why
is government influence for sale anyway?
Gregory: who is the most consistent
conservative in the race?
Paul: why should we nominate someone who
has to keep explaining all his flip-flops?
Gregory: are both Romney and Gingrich unacceptable?
Paul: they’re unprincipled
Gregory: you always attack Newt and
not Mittens - why is that?
Paul: Because I had to work with Newt Gingrich
and he is probably the biggest jerk I’ve
ever dealt with
Gregory: then Newt represents the biggest change
Paul: yes but Newt defends the welfare state
Gregory: Gingrich says Palestinians are
fake people and inherent murderers
Paul: see what I mean - this guy is bullshit
in a China shop
Gregory: what about he said?
Paul: Newt is just an uncontrolled demagogue
Gregory: when you lose who will you endorse?
Paul: I will have to wait to see if Mitt flip-flops again
Gregory: would you run for President with
a third-party?
Paul: only the Sith deal in absolutes!
Gregory: so you are considering it
Paul: why not - it can’t get any worse out there!
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay - is Newt for real?
Graham: darn right he is
Gregory: is he not crazy anymore?
Graham: yes he is less immature and not
quite as dickish
Gregory: you led the coup against him but
would you endorse him?
Graham: no I would not
Gregory: who will you endorse?
Graham: Hell Ron Paul if it will prevent him
from making a third-party run
Gregory: what about the payroll tax extension?
Durbin: this means an extra $1,000 for
160 million Americans!
Gregory: that could buy you a meal for four
people at the Palm!
Durbin: we offered a tax on the second million
dollars of income and the GOP said no because
it would affect Job Creators
Gregory: the GOP is willing to cut taxes as long
we build a huge oil pipeline through the U.S.
Graham: I love that long pipeline
Gregory: what about the payroll tax?
Graham: candidly we have to extend the
tax cut or commit political suicide
Obama: America has to reward hard work!
Graham: Obama caused the Great Recession in 2007
Gregory: wow
Graham: Obama almost caused a loss of
jobs in South Carolina
Gregory: but he didn’t?
Graham: he could have
Gregory: I see
Graham: Dodd-Frank retroactively caused
the credit crisis!
Durbin: Wall Street caused the recession
you hayseed
Lindsay: The consumer protection bureau
is basically Stalinist
Durbin: you see what we’re up against?
Gregory: thanks for coming guys
[ break ]
Gregory: holy crap Gingrich leads in the
south by double-digits
Gingrich: Mittens you are a career politician
just a loser at it
Todd: Romney keeps trying to go negative on
Gingrich but he has so many negatives its hard
to choose just one
Myers: Gingrich loves verbal combat much
more than real combat which he writes
novels about
Gregory: Romney likes to settles fights
by betting $10,000
Branstad: Obama has increased the debt
when all the American people want is increased
spending and lower taxes
Gregory: who do we need?
Branstad: we need someone who won’t increase
the debt like Ronald Reagan
Gregory: Reagan inherited a recession and
slowly brought American back
Branstad: see totally unlike Obama
Castellanos: people want big change and
Romney promises out-of-touch elitism
Koppel: the fact that people are even considering
nominating Newt Gingrich leaves me speechless
Castellanos: America is in such big trouble we
need a President who is a little crazy
Branstad: the most important thing we can
do in this recession is cut spending
Gregory: I see
Branstad: Dodd-Frank cause the recession!
Gregory: is Romeny not in Iowa enough?
Branstad: yes he must live here and also
promise to revive the rice industry
Castellanos: Mitt Romney is a transformational
figure - he transformed Massachusetts,
Bain Capital, the Olympics and himself
Romney: I’m not a bomb-thrower
Gingrich: we need to throw bombs - especially in
the middle east
Koppel: even in Israel Newt is an
anti-Palestinian extremist
Todd: Romney says he’s sober and
Newt says Mitty is just timid
Myers: Every Republican I talk to thinks Newt is
a crazy person who damaged conservatism
for a generation
Gregory: does marriage matter?
Perry: if you cheat on your wife you
might cheat on your business partner
which would be really bad
Gingrich: God forgave me so you all
might as well too
Koppel: the Drug Enforcement Agency is
still in Iraq
Gregory: oh shit
Koppel: we will leave just enough
Americans in Iraq to serve as an excuse
to start a war with Iran
Gregory: how delightful
[ break ]
Gregory: hey gang Ron Paul is incredibly
popular on Twitter
Todd: Newt Gingrich is the heavy favorite
to win the nomination now
Branstad: Paul would win in Iowa
but college students tend to sleep right
through the caucuses
Gregory: and that’s another episode of
Meet The Press
****************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - December 11, 2011
Guests:
Diane Sawyer
George Stephanopoulos
Jon Huntsman
*****************************
Amanpour: omg Iran won’t give our drone
back and speaking of drones Mitt Romney
lost last night’s Presidential debate
Gingrich: mitt u r a looser
Romney: bet u $10,000 i’ve never been cloned
Obama: ask all the guys i’ve killed if
i’m an appeaser
Amanpour: Diane how did the debate go?
Sawyer: it well after I started drinking
Romney: I would not go to the moon
Gingrich: why not we’ve ruined this planet
Stephanopoulos: if Romney is afraid to take
on Newt how can he go after Obama
Amanpour: good point
Stephanopoulos: Romney’s big moment
was betting Rick Perry $10,000 that he was
even more out of touch with the American people
Stephanopoulos: everyone was expecting
Newt Gingrich to be a giant asshole and
he was but only off-camera
Sawyer: Bachmann defended raising taxes
on poor people because it’s something
Obama wouldn’t do
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich didn’t say anything
offensively stupid so he did what he came to do
Amanpour: I see
Stephanopoulos: the Iowa caucuses
are soon sosomeone will have to shore
up the conservative base
Sawyer: the men came out strapping - you can’t
tell on television the sheer physical presence
of these dudes
Amanpour: thanks for sharing that Diane
[ break ]
Amanpour: Jon I’m sure you don’t want to get
into who won and who lost - so who
won and who lost?
Huntsman: the American people lost -
we need term limits in Washington
because nothing else will get them out of there
Amanpour: Gingrich is popular and you
weren’t even invited to a debate with
Bachman, Paul and Google-boy
Huntsman: People are taking my lawn signs
home as highly limited-edition souvenirs
Amanpour: the pundits love you but
no one else does
Huntsman: those Bush bailouts were bad!
Amanpour: Do you have to win in New Hampshire?
Huntsman: I have to beat market expectations
Amanpour: you used to be the sanest
person in the race and now you doubt climate change
Huntsman: hey you try running for the
Republican nomination
Amanpour: fair enough
[ break ]
Amanpour: the Twitterverse blew up when
Mitt Romney bet the $10,000 he had in his pocket
Berman: Romney’s camp says only poor
people are making a big deal about
Tapper: Democrats are salivating over a
chance to run against Newt Gingrich
Amanpour: Did Gingrich say anything insane?
Karl: surprisingly no - he came across as if
he were a normal person
Amanpour: well that takes the biscuit
Diane Sawyer
George Stephanopoulos
Jon Huntsman
*****************************
Amanpour: omg Iran won’t give our drone
back and speaking of drones Mitt Romney
lost last night’s Presidential debate
Gingrich: mitt u r a looser
Romney: bet u $10,000 i’ve never been cloned
Obama: ask all the guys i’ve killed if
i’m an appeaser
Amanpour: Diane how did the debate go?
Sawyer: it well after I started drinking
Romney: I would not go to the moon
Gingrich: why not we’ve ruined this planet
Stephanopoulos: if Romney is afraid to take
on Newt how can he go after Obama
Amanpour: good point
Stephanopoulos: Romney’s big moment
was betting Rick Perry $10,000 that he was
even more out of touch with the American people
Stephanopoulos: everyone was expecting
Newt Gingrich to be a giant asshole and
he was but only off-camera
Sawyer: Bachmann defended raising taxes
on poor people because it’s something
Obama wouldn’t do
Stephanopoulos: Gingrich didn’t say anything
offensively stupid so he did what he came to do
Amanpour: I see
Stephanopoulos: the Iowa caucuses
are soon sosomeone will have to shore
up the conservative base
Sawyer: the men came out strapping - you can’t
tell on television the sheer physical presence
of these dudes
Amanpour: thanks for sharing that Diane
[ break ]
Amanpour: Jon I’m sure you don’t want to get
into who won and who lost - so who
won and who lost?
Huntsman: the American people lost -
we need term limits in Washington
because nothing else will get them out of there
Amanpour: Gingrich is popular and you
weren’t even invited to a debate with
Bachman, Paul and Google-boy
Huntsman: People are taking my lawn signs
home as highly limited-edition souvenirs
Amanpour: the pundits love you but
no one else does
Huntsman: those Bush bailouts were bad!
Amanpour: Do you have to win in New Hampshire?
Huntsman: I have to beat market expectations
Amanpour: you used to be the sanest
person in the race and now you doubt climate change
Huntsman: hey you try running for the
Republican nomination
Amanpour: fair enough
[ break ]
Amanpour: the Twitterverse blew up when
Mitt Romney bet the $10,000 he had in his pocket
Berman: Romney’s camp says only poor
people are making a big deal about
Tapper: Democrats are salivating over a
chance to run against Newt Gingrich
Amanpour: Did Gingrich say anything insane?
Karl: surprisingly no - he came across as if
he were a normal person
Amanpour: well that takes the biscuit
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