Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Todd: omg it's the most
important day in politics!
Todd: Rubio repeated himself and
Chris Christie crushed him like a
Saint Bernard with a squeaky chew toy
Todd: Trump is way ahead of everyone else!
Todd: Sanders is up big!
Todd: New Hampshire is the
graveyard of pollsters
Todd: you like that image?
Clinton: I'm picturing walking
Todd: welcome Secretary Clinton
Clinton: great to be here Charles
Todd: you're behind in New Hampshire
Clinton: I know I'm behind but
I'm going to keep fighting
Todd: why are so far behind?
Clinton: who the hell knows?
Todd: I dunno
Clinton: Bernie is from Vermont
Clinton: I love this! I'm having a great time!
Todd: back in 2008 you said Barack
Obama wasn't experienced and you're
saying that about Bernie Sanders now
Clinton: that's different because
Obama was brilliant and did his work
Todd: got it
Clinton: Bernie has no foreign policy network
Todd: oh no
Clinton: you need to be ready on the first day!
Todd: or sooner
Clinton: maybe when we were at
peace you keep learn on the job
but not now – there's chaos everywhere!
Todd: because of the Iraq war
which you supported
Clinton: I got bin laden and
brought Iran to the table
Todd: but the Iraq war led
to the creation of ISIS
Clinton: yes but al Qaeda
existed before the war
Todd: but our good friend Saddam
Hussein had firm control of Iraq
Clinton: maybe but those jihadists
are everywhere now
Clinton: it's all-out war for
the meaning of Islam!
Todd: Bernie Sanders says the
business model of Wall Street is fraud
Clinton: that's crazy talk
Todd: I see
Clinton: what does the heck
does that even mean
Todd: I dunno
Clinton: theres good and bad in everyone
Todd: ebony and ivory
Clinton: this is a complex economy
– banks do good things too!
Todd: some even have dog
biscuits and lollipops
Clinton: I love the little banks
Todd: I have a piggy bank that
looks like Tim Russert's head
Clinton: why won't Sanders go
after the shadow banks?
Todd: the Secretary of Treasury always
comes from Wall Street or goes to
Wall Street or both
Clinton: very often that's true
Todd: can you hire a Treasury
Secretary without a Wall Street background?
Clinton: I want to rise all incomes
Todd: sounds good
Clinton: China is imploding!
Todd: I heard they were beating us
Clinton: we need smart and
knowledgeable people in government
Todd: Madeline Albright said
women must help other women
Clinton: she believes that
Todd: should we be offended
Clinton: good grief don't be so touchy
Todd: I'll try
Clinton: Maddy has struggled for
decades and the fight isn't over
Todd: what about the Super Bowl
Clinton: I'm more worried about
the children of Flint
Todd: I've heard something about that
Clinton: I'm going to do everything
I can to help the people there
Todd: well thanks for coming
Clinton: you too Todd
[ break ]
Todd: welcome Senator Sanders
Sanders: hiya Chet
Todd: you flubbed foreign policy
Sanders: I won that debate!
Sanders: Clinton is experienced in
foreign policy but she has bad judgment
Sanders: she supported the Iraq war
Todd: so I've heard
Sanders: we can't keep fighting
wars in the Middle East!
Todd: Albright says you don't
go to foreign policy briefings
Sanders: Chuck that is so ridiculous
Todd: it is
Sanders: I go to foreign policy
briefings all the damn time!
Todd: if you say so
Sanders: Clinton supported the war in Iraq!
Todd: yes I know
Sanders: I also opposed the war in Kuwait!
Todd: all right
Sanders: and I opposed the Iraq war!
Todd: so you've said
Sanders: and so did Obama!
Todd: who will you name
as Secretary of Defense?
Sanders: Larry Korb or maybe Zogby
Sanders: look I know what I'm doing
Todd: you say all of Wall Street
is based on committing fraud
Sanders: well it's true
Todd: it is?
Sanders: Goldman Sachs just
paid a settlement of $5 billion
Sanders: they all pay huge
settlement fines all the time!
Sanders: and no one ever goes to jail!
Todd: well no
Sanders: but if you get caught
with a little pot you do go to jail!
Todd: not if your dad works on Wall Street
Sanders: of course they all commit fraud!
Todd: who's going to win the Superb Owl?
Sanders: the Patriots!
Todd: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Todd: Rubio got a wedgie in
the middle of the debate!
Hewitt: Kasich is so winsome
Todd: he's adorkable
Hewitt: Rubio didn't do that badly
Matthews: he sounded like
a replicant from Blade Runner
Todd: he's more of an android
Jackson: He's a robot!
Mitchell: or a wind-up toy
Hewitt: oh c'mon guys
Jackson: but will anyone care about
Rubio's fail with the Super Bowl today?
Mitchell: this is the Super Bowl of politics!
Jackson: good point
Mitchell: he's the boy in the bubble
Todd: Christie told us this
was coming three days ago!
Hewitt: messing up the debate was
good for Rubio because it shows
Democrats fear him
Matthews: why repeat it four times in a row?
Hewitt: because his staff trained him well
Mitchell: well that's the problem
Todd: Jeb Bush owned Trump
on stealing from an elderly woman
Mitchell: Trump shushed him
which was very effective
Jackson: his mommy told
him to stand up for himself
Hewitt: Republicans hate eminent domain!
Matthews: Trump kicked the
school wimp when he was down
[ break ]
Todd: welcome Donald Trump
Trump: nice to be here Ted
Trump: do you need to win in New Hampshire?
Trump:no I don't
Todd: sure you do
Trump: New Hampshire is beautiful
Todd: you will turn on them if you lose
Trump: I really won Iowa!
Todd: you did?
Trump: yes because Ted Cruz cheated
Todd: were you humbled by Iowa?
Trump: what the hell is a caucus anyway?
Todd: It's like a big thing
where people do stuff
Trump: I never knew you need a ground game
Todd: you were late to
understand basic campaigning
Trump: that is true
Todd: your staff says you
screwed up in Iowa
Trump: I gave them unlimited cash!
Todd: all right
Trump: I've spent no money because
people like you give me free tv
Todd: you want bring back a hell
of a lot worse than waterboarding
Trump: this is like Medieval Times
Todd: I like that restaurant
Trump: there has never
been anything like this!
Todd: what will you do?
Trump: a form of torture much
worse than waterboarding!
Todd: like what
Trump: something really horrible and gruesome
Todd: that's disturbing
Trump: torture works!
Todd: so you want to be barbaric?
Trump: yes we must be evil!
Todd: what the hell is your health care plan?
Trump: I own a big company
Trump: all we have to do is let
people buy insurance in other states
Todd: so take away state's rights
Trump: also health savings
accounts would solve the problem
Todd: got it
Trump: but we can't let
people die in the streets
Todd: so you favor government health care
Trump: no it's having called a heart
Todd: so how will it work?
Trump: we'll work out a deal with hospitals
Todd: you're a famous misogynist
Trump: I've been tougher
on you than anyone else
Todd: my wife thinks so too
Trump: I hit Megan Kelly hard!
Todd: so well phrased
Trump: I would hit you too
and you are far from a woman
Todd: a woman would never
have this thing on her chin
Trump: I've never heard
these rumors of my sexism
Todd: well I assure they're out there
Trump: look at the hot chick in the red dress
Todd: that's Andrea Mitchell
Trump: I'd hit that
Todd: will you pledge to only serve one term?
Trump: look I'm going to need time
to build a wall and kick all the Irish out
Todd: so no pledge
Trump: I may serve three terms!
Todd: in 2004 Kerry was behind in the polls
but won in Iowa and New Hampshire
– just like Ted Cruz in 2016?
Todd: but in 1984 Gary Hart lost in
Iowa and won New Hampshire
like Rubio hopes to now
Todd: in 1988 Bush lost in Iowa but
won in New Hampshire and became
President – like Trump hopes to
Todd: so what scenario will
play out on Tuesday – who knows??
[ break ]
Sanders: Clinton is captive of Wall Street!
Clinton: it's a smear!
Sanders: it's all corrupt
Clinton: he thinks everybody
but him is bought and paid for!
Todd: it's a race to the left!
Matthews: Teddy Roosevelt was a progressive!
Matthews: Sanders captured
the left wing of the party
Matthews: she should move to the center!
Mitchell: she's lost the base and the women
Mitchell: and young people!
Mitchell: she's part of the establishment!
Mitchell: she dragged out Madeline
Albright to lecture young women
Jackson: I spoke to a Republican
working for Jeb and also Bernie Sanders
Todd: both parties are racing to the bases!
Hewitt: Sanders is Swedish
and Clinton is a criminal
Mitchell: I speak to women who love
Clinton but are worried about Benghazi
Todd: what about Rubio?
Bush: he's scripted and
ergo not a leader
Bush: he will be a terrible
President just like my brother
Hewitt: there will definitely
be an open convention!
Matthews: Kasich is going to win
because it is the voters' civic duty
to vote the Beltway's pundits'
dream candidate – a liberal Republican
Jackson: Kasich may do well in
coastal South Carolina
Mitchell: Bernie is getting
some black friends!
Todd: the GOP ran two
Hispanics and a black guy
Matthews: it was a great debate!
Todd: Sanders was on Saturday Night Live!
Mitchell: Sanders would be
the first Jewish President!
Todd: since Abraham Lincoln
Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press