Meet The Press - May 19, 2013

Guests:

Dan Pfeiffer – White House advisor

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Rep. Dave Camp (R-MI)

Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-CA)

Donald Rumsfeld

Bob Woodward

Peggy Noonan

Gregory: OMG Obama is a under a huge

cloud of motherfucking scandal!!

Audience: wheeeeee

Gregory: hi dan

Pfeiffer: greetings Fluffy

Gregory: back at you pfeffy

Gregory: does Obama regard these

scandals as mere distractions?

Pfeiffer: no he doesn't - look

we're going to fix the IRS

Gregory: you don't believe Obama

presidency is basically over?

Pfeiffer: no look - the Republicans

always do this – they make shit

up and overreach and piss everyone off

Gregory: Dave Camp says all these little

scandals prove Obama was fixing the election

Pfeiffer: that's nonsense – Darrell Issa knew

about this since the spring and did nothing

because he was waiting for all the facts

which is the right thing to do

Gregory: but Obama could have

acted before getting all the facts

Pfeiffer: maybe that's how you work here

at 'Meet The Press' but that not how

we roll at the White House

Gregory: Michelle Bachmann has

called for impeachment

Pfeiffer: the IRS acts were outrageous

but no sorry Benghazi was not 

Watergate times a billion

Gregory: but Obama should have

interfered with the IRS earlier!

Pfeiffer: you don't want the President

involved with the IRS – that's why the IRS

is such a model of objectivity and efficiency

Gregory: but Obama is not in charge!

Pfeiffer: sure he is – he just respects the

independence of the IRS which is the law!

Gregory: but technically the IRS answers

to Obama by way of Treasury

Pfeiffer: the Commissioner was a Bush

appointee and the acting commissioner

was a career civil servant

Gregory: Congress was misinformed

by that lying Commissioner

Pfeiffer: well we fired both of their asses

Gregory: the Wall Street Journal says

this is Obama's fault because he's

always hating on conservatives

Pfeiffer: that's just ridiculous

Gregory: people blamed Bush for Abu Ghraib

just because he personally approved torture so

obviously Obama is to blame for what

happened at the IRS

Pfeiffer: yeah that makes sense

Gregory: we any mistakes made at all

at Benghazi or is it all political?

Pfeiffer: the GOP had these e-mails for months

but didn't get all outraged until Republicans

fed doctored e-mails to that idiot Jon Karl at ABC

Gregory: yes but critics say-

Pfeiffer: shut up

Gregory: critics say Obama used the phrase

'act of terror' which is a generic term

Pfeiffer: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: questions are raised about

accessing phone records

Pfeiffer: did you know national security

leaks are dangerous?

Gregory: so you say

Pfeiffer: Obama re-proposed the Shield Law

Gregory: is Obama's message to the

Republicans on the AP phone records

“put up or shut up” ?

Pfeiffer: let's just say we're all fascinated by

their sudden concern for freedom of the press

Gregory: thanks for coming dan

[ break ]

Gregory: Mitch do you believe 

there is big corruption here?

McConnell: did you know the FCC

is trying to ban criticism of Obama?

Gregory: really?

McConnell: and Obama demonizes opponents

which is a first in American history

Gregory: do you have any evidence to

back up your accusations?

McConnell: no

Gregory: so why are you making them

McConnell: Obama is running a nanny

state that says government knows best!

Gregory: that is scary

McConnell: gosh darn right it is

Gregory: in 1987 you called for investigating

leftist groups for abusing tax-exempt status

McConnell: maybe I wasn't clear before Fluffy

– Obama is a big nanny!

Gregory: so you said

McConnell: Obama has created a

Culture of Intimidation!

Gregory: it sounds very intimidating

McConnell: I was wrong 25 years ago

and I am right now!

Gregory: so would change the tax code at all?

McConnell: look 25 years ago it was right to

shut up leftists but now it's clear it's very

wrong to shut up conservatives

Gregory: do you support Obama 

on investigating leaks?

McConnell: sort of

Gregory: you support Eric Holder?

McConnell: national security leaks that could

endanger Americans are a serious matter

Gregory: including this one?

McConnell: I refuse to answer because

I can't stand that guy

Gregory: Obama tried to spin the cause

of an attack on a consulate!

McConnell: clearly we didn't have enough

security unlike when Bush was President

and all our embassies were perfectly safe

Gregory: isn't talk of impeachment a little crazy?

McConnell: no because Obama covered

up a terrorist attack by calling it an act of terror

Gregory: you are the GOP leader in the Senate

– are other Republicans going too far?

McConnell: no because four Americans

were killed and Obama lied to make

it seem like it wasn't a terror attack

and only an act of terror

Gregory: are comparisons to Watergate 

crazy or sane?

McConnell: we must investigate Benghazi 

more to find out!

Gregory: does it disqualify Hillary

Clinton from being President?

McConnell: my gosh the next election

is so far away

Gregory: do you think Hillary Clinton

got people killed in Benghazi?

McConnell: oh mah stars maybe

Gregory: will you run on Benghazi?

McConnell: no I'm running on repealing Obamacare

Gregory: I see

McConnell: Obamacare caused the

recession in 2008!

Gregory: thanks for coming Mitch

[ break ]

Gregory: how do you answer the charge

that Obama has a Culture of intimidation?

Camp: Congress has been trying to

get answers for two years!

Gregory: Congress asked for an 

IG investigation and got it

Camp: no that was an audit

Gregory: even so

Camp: Americans were targeted 

for their political views

Gregory: true but even Obama said

that was outrageous

Camp: that's not enough

Gregory: what should Obama have done –

meddled in the IRS business?

Camp: he should have known!

Gregory: how?

Camp: I don't know – we have questions!

Gregory: do you have evidence any Obama knew?

Camp: not yet!

Gregory: does this prove we should

revise the tax code?

Camp: yes the tax code is too complex and boring

Gregory: we all know that

Camp: this proves we should cut taxes

on rich people and raise them on poor people

Gregory: excellent

[ break ]

Woodward: this is not Watergate but it is Nixonian

Gregory: how so?

Woodward: they covered up Benghazi

by calling it an act of terror

Gregory: Peggy you said this is worse

than the invasion of Iraq or Iran-Contra

and Obama is dirty and crooked

Noonan: that's right David [ stirs drink ]

Gregory: Reagan ran a secret war to send

weapons to the Ayatollah – are you sure

that isn't a bit of an overstatement Peggers?

Noonan: I never heard of anything this

terrible in my entire lifetime! [ drinks ]

Gregory: for god's sake Peggy -

Richard Nixon authorized burglaries!

Noonan: no no no it's worse! [ swoons ]

Becerra: Peggy is drinking... the kool aid

Gregory: check her flask

Becerra: I agree with Young McConnell –

abuse of the tax code is the real issue

Gregory: will this cripple the President?

Camp: we must cut taxes on the rich!

Gregory: Bob was Bush innocent on Abu Ghraib?

Woodward: the President may want to

preserve agencies' independence

the issues but he's the leader

Gregory: but if Obama called the head

of the IRS you would attack him for 

being like Nixon

Woodward: the AP's phone records are sacred

Noonan: is he the President or not??

Gregory: but the President can't be

ordering the Attorney General

to investigate or not to investigate

Noonan: fine [ slams flask on desk ]

Camp: there was very bad management at least

Noonan: why not have an independent counsel?

Woodward: Obama is constitutionally responsible

for bad things and bad things are bad

Gregory: is he too passive?

Noonan: no – he is too aggressive!

Obama was giving orders to the IRS

to attack conservatives!

Gregory: thanks panelists

[ break ]

Gregory: you are the Sexiest 

Great-Grandfather alive

Rumsfeld: Great-Grandfather or 

Greatest Grandfather?

Gregory: what about the appalling

number of sexual assaults in the military?

Rumsfeld: I wish had the answers but I don't

Gregory: what about the culture of the military?

Rumsfeld: I have no idea –

I don't have the answer for that

Gregory: you're so wise

Rumsfeld: I don't know about that either

Gregory: you have a book called

'Rumsfeld's Rules' which is all

about accountability

Rumsfeld: yes I am

Gregory: IRS! Benghazi!

Rumsfeld: Obama seems not to care

about people dying

Gregory: coming from you that's just amazing

Rumsfeld: the truth is very important to me

Gregory: unbelievable

Rumsfeld: when trust is eroded

credibility is lost

Gregory: astonishing

Rumsfeld: we restored trust under Gerald Ford

Gregory: actually I was thinking of shattered

trust when Bush was President

Rumsfeld: you go with the difficulties

you have not the difficulties you want

Gregory: Dick Cheney says team Obama was lying

Rumsfeld: they changed talking points

on Benghazi - they were trying to create

a narrative that didn't comport with the facts!

Gregory: you mean like with 9/11, Tora Bora,

Afghanistan, Pat Tillman, WMDs, yellowcake, 

the cost of the Iraq war, troops needed to 

fight the war, Jessica Lynch, Curveball, 

Chalabi, body armor, the Iraq civil war...

Rumsfeld: I fail to see your point Fluffy

Gregory: and that's another episode

of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos - May 19, 2013

Guests:

Dan Pfeiffer – White House advisor

Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH)

Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ)

Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY)

Rep. Tom Price (R-GA)

Stephanopoulos: wow the Washington Scandal

Factory has kicked into high gear!

Stephanopoulos: did the White House

know about the IRS scandal?

Pfeiffer: of course not!

Stephanopoulos: Congress has asked 

if the White House pressured the 

IRS to nail conservatives

Pfeiffer: no and even the Inspector General said so!

Stephanopoulos: so you will

turn over all relevant e-mails?

Pfeiffer: we're not going to participate

in some fishing expedition

Stephanopoulos: is it illegal to target

people for political beliefs?

Pfeiffer: the law is irrelevant

Stephanopoulos: you don't really mean that

Pfeiffer: what I mean is that Obama

is outraged regardless

Stephanopoulos: how does this affect

IRS oversight of Obamacare?

Pfeiffer: let's see what the review says

Stephanopoulos: but this proves 

Obamacare will be politicized

Pfeiffer: look I realize the GOP is mad

about Obamacare but they need to get over it

Stephanopoulos: what about the Benghazi e-mails?

Pfeiffer: they prove the White House didn't

take out references to a terror attack – the CIA did!

Stephanopoulos: but the White House

had a role in its own talking points

– that's scandalous!

Pfeiffer: frankly the GOP owes Susan Rice 

an apology

Stephanopoulos: for what?

Pfeiffer: for accusing her of lying

Stephanopoulos: Marco Rubio says Obama

is evil and the Washington Post has

failed to create smart government

Pfeiffer: Obama has made government

efficient and transparent!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming pfeffers

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: so Rob how about 

this IRS scandal

Portman: we need several investigations

and an independent counsel

Stephanopoulos: what else?

Portman: the IRS threatened national security!

Stephanopoulos: whoa

Portman: I personally discovered

this corruption you know

Stephanopoulos: have you found any

evidence of political corruption?

Portman: not yet – but we'll keep looking

Stephanopoulos: good luck

Portman: high officials knew about this in March!

Stephanopoulos: do we need a special prosecutor?

Menendez: look the IRS acted outrageously

but the real scandal is Karl Rove used

a 501(c)(4) to fight the election

Stephanopoulos: have you seen

any evidence of law-breaking?

Price: we don't know but you can't

ask people about their prayers!

Stephanopoulos: special counsel?

Price: I think we need to hold

more Congressional hearings –

that will restore trust!

Stephanopoulos: there are reports that

high officials told low-level employees

not to target conservatives

Rangel: the law is totally fucked up!

Stephanopoulos: you know a lot about

taxes since you cheat on them

Rangel: the law lends itself to abuse!

Portman: the law may suck but

there was bias in enforcement!

Stephanopoulos: okay

Portman: also we should repeal Obamacare

Stephanopoulos: what about this

woman in charge of Obamacare?

Portman: I question whether she should

really be in charge of that given her track record

Menendez: we don't need to change the law 

– we need to investigate abuse of the law

Stephanopoulos: interesting

Menendez: the Heritage Foundation argued

against any more legislation because it

might distract from impeaching Obama!

Stephanopoulos: admittedly impeaching

Obama would be fun

Price: I don't trust the IRS to enforce Obamacare

Rangel: you can't trust people in a hick town like Cincinnati

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone

Meet The Press – May 12, 2013

Guests:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)

Amb. Thomas Pickering

Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)

Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL)

David Brooks
Katty Kay 

Wes Moore  

Gregory: OMG Obama is under fire

over the IRS and Benghazi!

Audience: OMG

Gregory: Darrell is Obama hiding something?

Issa: why did they have inadequate security

and did they cover up terrorism?

Gregory: how do you answer the charge 

that Weekly Standard reports that Obama 

covered up terrorism?

Issa: darn right he did

Gregory: didn't the CIA have the final word?

Issa: no because the White House

ordered them around

Gregory: can't the CIA stand up for itself?

Issa: no because Ambassador Stevens said

“we're under attack” which is code for 

“Obama is a liar”

Gregory: obviously it was an attack because

people were killed – wasn't there confusion

amid the fog of war?

Issa: no because the President of Libya is a

wonderful man who always tells the truth

Gregory: you think the White House bullied

the CIA into lying about what happened?

Issa: an official lied on a Sunday talk show!

Gregory: what was the lie?

Issa: they covered up the fact that
an attack happened!

Gregory: well of course an attack
happened – people were killed

Issa: well then they covered up the fact

that more help could have arrived

Gregory: but there's no evidence that's true

Issa: well then they covered up the fact that

the attack wasn't motivated by a movie

Gregory: but that wasn't clear at first

Issa: well then Gregory Hicks should allowed 

to see a secret report and I will subpoena

Ambassador Pickering

Gregory: he wanted to testify under oath

and you wouldn't let him

Issa: I never stole that car!

Gregory: okay – George Bush says he never

sent e-mails because he didn't want

Congress to look at them

Issa: this isn't partisan - you must never 

lie on a Sunday Talk Show!

Gregory: I'm totally with you Darrell

Issa: you can never change the 

Holy Talking Points!

Gregory: why is Hillary is a target?

Issa: Hillary Clinton is not a target

Gregory: you don't hold Obama and Clinton

responsible for Benghazi?

Issa: well of course they should both

be impeached – they didn't protect an

embassy before it was attacked

Gregory: like when all those consulates 

and embassies were attacked when 

Bush was President?

Issa: ha ha – good one Fluffy

Gregory: Republicans are raising money

off Benghazi - aren't you overreaching?

Issa: I failed to investigate Bush properly

and I am going atone for it by attacking Obama

Gregory: there were many attacks on embassies

when Bush was President - isn't it Congress' 

job to protect embassies?

Issa: we can only cut funding – it's up
to Obama to make it work

Gregory: that makes sense

Issa: Obama needs to learn from Bush's failures

and I'm outraged by his failure to do so

Gregory: please continue

Issa: Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi

Gregory: do we need a special committee

like Watergate or Iran-Contra?

Issa: whoa whoa whoa – I'm the star here

Gregory: okay Darrell

Issa: Ambassador Pickering refused
to appear before our committee

Picketring : that's not true!

Issa: well he only told us the day before 

the hearing and by then it was too 

late because had we only ordered enough 

snacks for three witnesses

Gregory: why didn't you recommend 

Hillary Clinton be impeached because 

the consulate was not defended?

Pickering: I can't believe I have to sit

here with this lying weasel

Gregory: that hurts

Pickering: I was talking about Darrell Issa

Gregory: well that's okay

Pickering: Admiral Mullen and General 

Dempsey all agreed no military help 

would have been available

Gregory: well that's not good either

Pickering: that's true – but we interviewed

everyone who was there and wrote a very

comprehensive report

Issa: Congress has an obligation to have

dozens of hearings on this issue

Pickering: from the man with arson as a hobby

Issa: this could have gone on for 444 days!

Gregory: that would have been amazing

Pickering: dare to dream

Gregory: was your report thorough enough?

Pickering: yes – and we recommended

that two people be fired

Gregory: Jay Carney said there was only 

one change to the talking points

Pickering: that's sort of true

Gregory: the IRS has apologized for

going after the Tea Party

Issa: let's not worry too much about it

and just make sure it doesn't happen again

Gregory: it sounds like you don't want

too much scrutiny of these tax-exempt groups

Issa: no comment Fluffy

[ break ]

Gregory: Senator didn't Obama cover up the fact

that U.S. personnel were murdered because

people didn't use the word “terrorism”

enough except for Obama who did

Feinstein: that is so stupid

Gregory: nevertheless I am asking

Feinstein: it was a very unfortunate incident

Gregory: that Sacred Holy Talking Points were

changed not to include the magic incantation “Terrorism”

Feinstein: when Talking Points are passed

from one organization to another of course

they are going to be edited

Gregory: isn't that a scandal?

Feinstein: yes - they used the word “Extremist”

which is not as Magickal as “Terrorist”

Gregory: the pivotal moment came when McCain

appeared on Meet The Press to attack the

President who beat him in 2008

Feinstein: he needs to get over 2008 –

he lost to the young Kenyan

Gregory: Rand Paul says Hillary Clinton can't

be President because of Benghazi

Feinstein: well he's a fucking moron

Gregory: I guess we have to talk about something

else beside Benghazi – so immigration blah blah

Feinstein: we've doubled the Border Patrol

and built 350 miles of fence!

Gregory: sweet

Feinstein: we have drones, camera, dogs,

cats, booby traps and a giant moat

with sharks with laser beams

Gregory: I love it

Feinstein: of course it still won't be enough

Gregory: panel let's talk about Benghazi 

some more

Brooks: I think the CIA had a secret facility there

and the State Dept. pushed back

Kinzinger: I'm just concerned that Obama hates

U.S. soldiers and likes to watch them die

Gregory: why does Obama hate soldiers?

Moore: we should definitely have more
investigations and stuff

Gregory: remember when troops were killed

in Beirut when Reagan was President?

Kay: the real concern is why there wasn't

enough security was in Benghazi

Gregory: what was the real scandal?

Feinstein: failure to use the magic word “Terrorism”

Gregory: why didn't he use that special word?

Feinstein: I don't know – I love saying

'terrorist' and 'terrorism' and 'terrorist attack'

Gregory: was failure to use the word political?

Feinstein: TERRORUS INCANTATUS

Gregory: the IRS targeted the Tea Party!

Feinstein: it's not good

Brooks: it looks bad so Obama needs

to invade Syria

Gregory: even men are being sexually

assaulted in the military!

Kay: it's very scary to have military

commanders in charge of prosecutions

Gregory: but you can't change the military

or we will be invaded by China

Moore: the U.S. military has been 

socially progressive in many ways but 

not when it comes to rape

Feinstein: abuse of soldiers has got to stop

Kinzinger: I would just like to say if it were

me I would always do the right thing

Gregory: you are nice and handsome

Kinzinger: thanks Fluffy

Gregory: the Freedom Tower is almost finished!

Brooks: it means a lot to the city to look and

see that inspiring erect spire

Gregory: I was with George W. Bush and

I know it means a lot to him and

me and the nation

Brooks: so well put David

Gregory: and that's another episode

of Meet The Press

*******************************************

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – May 12, 2013

Host: Martha Raddatz

Guests:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI)

Jonathan Karl

Ruth Marcus

Gen. James Cartwright

George Will

David Brooks

Raddatz: OMG Benghazi - a storm is brewing!

Carney: those talking points were edited in an

inter-agency process and anyway the President

called it an act of terror

Raddatz: President McCain?

McCain: the President didn't call it an act of terror

Raddadtz: yes he did

McCain: no he called it an act of terrorism

Raddatz: ok

McCain: remember Obama ran on destroying

al-qaeda and he totally didn't

Raddatz: I see

McCain: I voted for Obama but I find

Jay Carney unacceptable

Raddatz: you ran against Obama in 2008

McCain: yes but we all know Obama

was the better candidate

Raddatz: was it a cover up?

McCain: yes!

Raddatz: Republicans says this is bigger than

Watergate and Iran-Contra combined

McCain: that could be a bit of an overstatement

Raddatz: are you going after Hillary Clinton?

McCain: we need a select committee

to investigate this!

Raddatz: what will that do?

McCain: we're still uncovering information!

Raddatz: Hicks said planes should have been

brought in and the military says that isn't possible

McCain: maybe so but it was September 11

which is a very special day

Raddatz: should we go to war with Syria?

McCain: bomb bomb bomb Syria

Raddatz: that's your answer?

McCain: we can create a safe zone for them

Raddatz: who is “them”?

McCain: I've met them and

they're very fine people

Raddatz: some of them are Al-Qaeda

McCain: maybe but they are no

crazier than people in Arizona

Raddatz: people I've spoken to says

this would not be easy

McCain: the Israelis showed it can be done

Raddatz: but U.S. involvement would 

still be very risky

McCain: the Joints Chiefs are bunch of cowards!

Raddatz: I see

McCain: Obama gave the green light to murder!

Raddatz: what about Benghazi Jack?

Reed: this was a classic inter-agency dispute –

after all Victoria Nuland worked for Dick Cheney

Raddatz: but the talking points were changed!

Reed: well these things happen

Raddatz: if the President said it was an

act of terror why didn't that word appear

on the Precious Holy Talking Points?

Reed: who gives a shit

Raddatz: who are the rebels in Syria?

Reed: some are Al-Qeada and some

are good guys who will turn on us in 20 years

Raddatz: should we bomb Syria?

Reed: well we have the bombs lying around so why not?

Raddatz: what should we do?

Reed: don't count out diplomacy –

you never know

Raddatz: they crossed the red line –

shouldn't we start a war?

Reed: we have to be careful before

attacking a country in the middle east

Raddatz: maybe so but Beltway reporting

is so boring without a new war

Reed: you still have Afghanistan

Raddatz: boooooriiing

[ break ]

Raddatz: what's the fallout?

Karl: the talking points were changed and

the White House has a credibility problem

Raddatz: you go Karl

Karl: the White House had the final call

Will: it was an armed insurrection -

not a movie review!

Raddatz: maybe they saw John Carter 

Goes to Mars and were really mad

Will: we need a select committee to investigate

why security was inadequate at this consulate and

not any of the attacks when Bush was President

Marcus: yes we must learn why security was

lax at this consulate and ignore the attacks

on consulates from 2002 to 2008

Cartwright: you don't just go up to

an aircraft and turns the keys on

Raddatz: but shouldn't they have had

some planes ready since Libya is so dangerous?

Cartwright: maybe

Raddatz: isn't Obama's credibility shot if he

doesn't start a war with Libya – I mean Syria

Marcus: yes because every parent knows if

you don't follow through with threats your

ungrateful bratty kids will take the car

Karl: but we all thought the Iraq had

weapons of mass destruction

Raddatz: John McCain says the whole

military are a bunch of cowards

Cartwright: what are we going to accomplish

if we use military force – if we get involved

we have to go all the way

Will: a superpower cannot be sort-of 

involved in a war – if we get involved 

we will be the major player in a war

Karl: yeah!

Raddatz: thanks for coming everyone

Meet The Press - May 5, 2013

Guests:

Andrea Mitchell

Sen. Pat Leahy (D-VT)

Rep. Tom Cotton (R-AK)

Jane Harman

Rudy Giuliani

Newt Gingrich

Harold Ford Jr.

Rich Lowry

Joy-Ann Reid

Brendon Ayanbadejo

Gregory: OMG Israel bombed Syria!

Mitchell: it takes the heat off the President –

Obama and Arab leaders love this bombing!

Gregory: Obama finally brought 

Jews and Arabs together

Mitchell: it's a miracle!

Gregory: should America invade get involved

in another civil war in the middle east?

Mitchell: yes Fluffy but we should 

only arm the good guys

Gregory: works for me

Mitchell: the Arab world is split 

between supporting the radicals or 

the merely dangerous so of course 

Israel had to step in

Gregory: what do you think Pat?

Leahy: I would't fuck with the Israelis

Gregory: I'm Jewish you know

Leahy: a source of pride for all 

Hebrews everywhere I'm sure

Cotton: we have to arm the 

opposition and create a no-fly zone!

Gregory: boots on the ground?

Harman: no boots on the ground!

Gregory: ok ok

Harman: this is a full blown civil war

Gregory: sounds like a perfect place to invade

Cotton: no one says we shouild use troops

– instead we should end this civil war

with no loss of U.S. life

Gregory: the Boston bombings 

and Benghazi prove there is a 

growing al-qaeda threat

Giuliani: you said it bro

Gregory: the administration hasn't

done enough have they?

Giuliani: Obama underplays the threat

from radical college students because 

Obama is lazy

Gregory: right

Giuliani: also Obama is weak and ineffectual

Gregory: Isn't Benghazi the biggest story ever?

Leahy: an embassy can be attacked

anywhere you know

Gregory: didn't Obama ignore warnings 

about Benghazi?

Cotton: yes plus Obama didn't care about

the ongoing attacks instead he took a nap

Gregory: doesn't the Boston plot prove

we are not safe?

Harman: yes Rudy Giuliani is right –

we must be terrified of home-grown radicalism

Gregory: you are so right Jane

Harman: but we also create terrorists 

which is why we need to close Gitmo 

and use less drones

Giuliani: Jane I'm shocked I thought 

we were friends

Gregory: Rudy what do you think about Boston?

Giuliani: it proves Barack Obama is weak

and doesn't care about terrorism

Gregory: indeed

Giuliani: also his college roommates

should be charged with murder

Gregory: I love you Rudy

Giuliani: I know

Gregory: polls shows we will probably

all be killed by a terrorist

Cotton: we are in a global war against

jihadists and Obama doesn't care at all

Gregory: preach it

Cotton: Obama gives Miranda rights 

and gives terrorists food paid 

for by the taxpayer - it's outrageous

Leahy: that makes no sense - the guy who 

was given Miranda warnings wouldn't shut up

Cotton: as a show of good faith Obama should 

at least send someone to Guantanamo Bay

Gregory: Signals were missed! 

Signals were missed!

Leahy: what does that have to with Gitmo?

Gregory: Signals! Missed! Gitmo! Benghazi!

Leahy: I'm going to hire an African

grey parrot from Fox News to do your job

Giuliani: I've never seen any Africans there Pat

Gregory: Should we repeal the 

Constitution because of one loser teenager 

and his moron brother?

Harman: probably yes

Gregory: should we track all Muslims?

Giuliani: yes profiling is awesome – 

that's just reality

Gregory: of course

Giuliani: we gotta go after the muslims!

Cotton: the terrorists attacked us for

our freedoms so we should repeal them

Gregory: what will kill immigrantion reform?

Leahy: apparently anything and everything

Greg: will reform pass?

Leahy: I hope so

Gregory: but will it?

Leahy: probably not

[ break ]

Gregory: please bash Obama for me

Gingrich: Obama doesn't care about 

radical islam – we will be at war with 

muslims for the next 70 years

Reid: Newton and Oklahoma City had 

nothing to do with Islam

Gingrich: those were caused liberals 

and single mothers

Gregory: Boston was an exclamation

point in our new Age of Terror!

Lowry: Benghazi and Boston prove that 

we are greatly threatened muslim terrorism 

and Obama slandered George Bush 

who was a true hero

Reid: he heroically tortured people

Gregory: a reporter asked Obama 

if he has no juice! ha ha I love it!

Audience: eyeroll

Gregory: is Obama a lame duck?

Ford: Obama is a terrible leader and

I should have been the first black President

Gregory: true

Ford: Obama must declare war against

all enemies everywhere!

Gregory: Obama has no juice! I can't stop

grinning about it! God that is so funny!

Gingrich: Obama's biggest problem is

Democratic senators from red states

Gregory: yes but my stock portfolio is up up up!

Lowry: yes but Obama has not completely

fixed the Bush recession yet

Reid: the GOP Congress hates everything

Obama does because Obama does it – 

that's a problem

Gingrich: I was in a McDonald's and 

got service from a college grad which 

proves Obama is a failure

Gregory: but big macs are delicious

Gingrich: true

Gregory: the NRA says the Boston bombing

proves everyone needs a machine gun

Ford: we live in a dangerous society

but I'm not sure giving everyone crazy

white person a gun is the answer

Gregory: Brendon are all big sports 

going to go gay now?

Ayanbadejo: the world is changing Fluffy

Gregory: but still a lot of people hate the gays

Ayanbadejo: you can't stop the change David

Gregory: everyone loves lesbians

Ayanbadejo: a big 300 lb NFL lineman can be gay

Gregory: will a gay NFL player come out soon?

Ayanbadejo: I hope when they do it will

be a safe environment

[ break ]

Gregory: panel a lot people don't like gays

Lowry: pro athletes condct conversations

at a middle school level

Gregory: so just above the Beltway media

Reid: the people are ahead of the 

politicians on this

Gingrich: what about equal rights for Catholics –

right now the law says no Catholic can 

practice their religion

Gregory: what are you talking about?

Gingrich: Catholics are not allowed to

provide adoption services

Reid: they withdrew their services voluntarily

Gingrich: their rights to discriminate

against gay people was being taken away!

Lowry: and Catholics are not allowed

to not provide birth control – it's so unfair

Ford: bless that gay boy's heart

Gregory: abortion is murder isn't it?

Lowry: yes it is Fluffy

Gregory: that is so true

Reid: Gosnell proves poor and desperate

women will be taken advantage of

Gregory: and that's another episode

of Meet The Press

Meet The Press – April 28, 2013

Guests:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

Rep. Peter King (R-NY)

Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)

Sen. Any Klobuchar (D-MN)

Karen Hughes

Tony Blair

Gregory: OMG nerdprom is so funny

but first we might go to war with Syria

and somehow we managed to get

John McCain as a guest

Gregory: Senator did Syria really 

use chemical weapons?

McCain: who knows – he probably would someday

Gregory: right

McCain: Obama gave Assad a green

light to commit mass executions

Gregory: that sounds like something 

Obama would do

McCain: Obama just loves murder

Gregory: so what should we do?

McCain: use missiles to create a

no-fly zone and supply the rebels with guns

Gregory: I like it

McCain: also Russia is flooding

Syria with weapons so we should do also

Gregory: we must not allow a Syria-weapons gap

McCain: Fluffy right now it's an unfair 
fight and a stalemate

Gregory: so if we equalize the fight

it won't be a stalemate anymore?

McCain: where's my pudding?

Gregory: didn't we invade Iraq and find they

didn't have any weapons of mass destruction?

McCain: this is totally different –

we're pretty sure he does and if he

doesn't Assad is a bad guy

Gregory: I stand corrected – so you

think the U.S. should use force?

McCain: sure why not – we can't let chemical

weapons fall into the wrong hands

Gregory: should the U.S. declare war?

McCain: no Americans are tired of war

– we should just go in operationally

Gregory: that sounds like an invasion

McCain: oh no - U.S. boots on the ground

would be the worst possible thing we could do

– it would turn people against America

Gregory: I see

McCain: on the other hand if we don't

attack the Syrian people will turn against us

Gregory: the Senate fixed airport delays

– is that the right approach?

McCain: no the sequester cuts are

crippling America's defenses!

Gregory: Biden says you might have 

won in 2008 if the Republicans hadn't 

crashed the economy

McCain: well that's nice but don't forget 

I ran a terrible campaign

Gregory: true – thanks for coming John

[ break ]

Gregory: Keith should we declare war on Syria?

Ellison: there is a terrible humanitarian

crisis there and we need to do more

Gregory: Peter should we invade Syria?

King: Obama puts America's prestige on the line!

Gregory: that's true

King: but I don't trust those rebels – 

some of them are terrorists

Gregory: like the IRA?

King: ha good one Fluffy

Gregory: please criticize the FBI for me

King: the FBI did not visit Tameralan's mosque

or his friends or neighbors or consult the

FBI crystal ball which can tell who will be a terrorist

Gregory: the FBI dropped the crystal ball!

Ellison: of course you want to blame

the FBI – it's a better story

Gregory: Peter you want to spy on 

Muslim-Americans

King: damn right – even the liberal

Tom Friedman hates muslims – it's all the rage

Gregory: I'm convinced

King: the FBI never even reported

Tameralan to the Boston Police!

Gregory: Keith you're a muslim

Ellison: I'm an American!

Gregory: well make up your mind

Ellison: going after a whole community

is wrong and doesn't help security

Gregory: how is political correctness hurting security?

King: the police never spied on 

Tameralan's mosque because they 

are afraid of being called anti-Islam

Gregory: that's a strong charge Peter

King: the threat to American is coming from muslims

Ellison: the ricin attack didn't come from a muslim

King: that wasn't terrorism that was a

harmless prank like when the IRA bombed civilians

Ellison: muslims love this country!

Gregory: what questions do you have Peter?

King: how can we blame the community

and also how does this affect New York City?

Gregory: thanks for coming guys

King: I'm keeping my eye on you Keith

[ break ]

Gregory: hi panel – how was nerdprom?

Klobuchar: Obama skillfully made fun

of himself and Mitch McConnell

Gregory: George W. Bush was

very good at everything

Todd: Obama took potshots at the media

because he hates Buzzfeed and Politico

Gregory: John McCain thinks Obama

supports mass murder

Klobuchar: McCain talks tough 

but chickened out when you asked 

him about boots on the ground

Murphy: you know I've heard that it's

easier to start a war than end one

Castro: we were fooled over WMD once before

Hughes: no one is for boots on the ground

but al-qaeda is taking over Syria and the

whole world wants us to attack

Todd: the White House regrets drawing that

red line because now there are no good choices

Klobuchar: Assad is more dangerous 

than Qaddafi who was kind of an idiot

Murphy: the rebels might not be good guys

Gregory: what will define Obama's legacy?

Castro: a lot of issues – but I believe

Congress is up to the task

Gregory: you must be joking

Gregory: Karen I love Bush but

his second term was kind of a mess

Hughes: Obama is a failure because

all the big spending and debt

Todd: Obama has one year to get anything

done and since he failed on guns he must

pass immigration reform or Maureen Dowd 

will write another stupid column

Gregory: I've heard Obama is a loser

– is that true Amy?

Klobuchar: Obama can bring people together

over the debt and even Republicans

favor immigration reform

[ break ]

Gregory: greetings Prime Minister - 

you supported Bush's invasion of Iraq 

which turned out to be not so brilliant

Blair: after 9/11 I thought it was 

important to do whatever Bush wanted

Gregory: Bush told you not to 

support him if it would hurt you politically

Blair: yes it turns out Bush was 

somewhat shrewd in that regard

Gregory: indeed

Blair: but at the time I thought invading 

Iraq was the right thing to do

Gregory: may I ask why?

Blair: 9/11

Gregory: the Bush library link Iraq and

terrorism which we know is false

Blair: yes but by invading Iraq brought 

out the violent ethnic tribal wackos 

who are arguably like terrorists in that 

sort of extreme kind of way as one sees in 

Africa and Asia all those non-anglo places

Gregory: what about Syria?

Blair: well you know old chap I see this as a

clash of civilizations and you see all these

foreigners who don't believe in freedom like we do

Gregory: Britain has homegrown terrorism

Blair: we must cast out this ideology –

and like fascism or communism or

kardashianism we will fight it for a long time

Gregory: what was it like to sit through

the dedication of the Bush 'library'?

Blair: you can disagree with George W. Bush

but he has great character and integrity

Gregory: no doubt

[ break ]

Gregory: panel what is the Bush legacy?

Murphy: he made the tough decision

to respond to terrorism

Hughes: he cut taxes, gave out prescription drugs,

had tougher standards on education and made

the brave and tough decision to respond 

to massive terror attacks

Klobuchar: he helped rebuild a bridge in my state

Gregory: Bush was actually a fiscal

conservative wasn't he?

Todd: yes and it turns out people love 

prescription drugs

Gregory: I asked Barbara Bush if Jeb Bush 

should run for President and she 

“no we've had enough Bushes”

Hughes: oh any mother will say that about her son

Gregory: really?

Hughes: yes – she also said George W. Bush 

would never beat Ann Richards

Gregory: what a sweet mother

Murphy: don't cross her Fluffy

Gregory: she scares me

Murphy: she terrifies us all

Gregory: and that's another episode

of Meet The Press