Friday, April 15, 2016

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – April 3, 2016

Governor Jon Kasich (R-OH)
Reince Priebus – Chair RNC
Rep. Sean Duffy (R-WI)
Charlie Sykes
Craig Gilbert
Donna Brazile
Matthew Dowd
Hugh Hewitt
Juan Williams

Stephanopoulos: omg Trump 
had the worst week ever!

Stephanopoulos: his campaign manager
was charged with battery

Trump: she grabbed me!

Stephanopoulos: then he was
asked about abortion

Trump: there has to be some
form of punishment

Cruz: women are infantile victims!

Trump: I'm actually pro choice

Stephanopoulos: then he said would get
out of NATO and let Asia go nuclear

Kasich what the fuck?

Obama: he's an idiot

Stephanopoulos: polls shows 
Cruz leading in Wisconsin

Trump: I am winning !

Stephanopoulos: panel was this
the tipping point for Donald Trump?

Dowd: he's crazy and it's getting worse

Stephanopoulos: but he's made mistakes
before and come back better than ever

Hewitt: he's a human car crash

Stephanopoulos: women hate him

Brazile: women are a majority of voters
and even Republican women despise him

Stephanopoulos: but this week he actually
expressed regret over something

Williams: the pro-life movement doesn't
want to punish women – we just want to punish doctors!

Stephanopoulos: what about a lady doctor?

Williams: a what?

Brazile: woot

Williams: every single demographic 
loathes the man

Dowd: his support is not dropping off
but he has just peaked

Stephanopoulos: he's hit is ceiling

Stephanopoulos: welcome Governor Kasich

Kasich: hiya

Stephanopoulos: what about abortion

Kasich: I hope they repeal roe v wade

Stephanopoulos: what about constitutional restrictions

Kasich: you say that

Stephanopoulos: they're your words sir

Kasich: whatever

Stephanopoulos: so how about it?

Kasich: I oppose abortion except when I don't

Stephanopoulos: how do you ban it?

Kasich: I don't really care

Stephanopoulos: if abortion is murder
why not give women life in prison

Kasich: because I don't give a shit either way

Stephanopoulos: I see

Kasich: look abortion is murder 
except for rape

Stephanopoulos: would you punish doctors?

Kasich: stop asking me questions!

Stephanopoulos: but you're a governor right now

Kasich: it's a boring job

Stephanopoulos: I see

Kasich: just make me President already!

Stephanopoulos: here's a tv ad tying
you to George Soros and Barack Obama

Kasich: that's pretty funny

Stephanopoulos: it is weird

Kasich: it's a smear but frankly I'm not interested

Stephanopoulos: why are you running?

Kasich: to cut taxes for rich people

Stephanopoulos: I see

Kasich: did you know that most people
have no idea who I am

Stephanopoulos: actually I can believe that

Kasich: I'm going to win NYC and Pennsylvania !

Stephanopoulos: your only hope is a
contested convention but you fail even there

Kasich: oh I don't care about that

Stephanopoulos: I see

Kasich: there are no rules!

Stephanopoulos: right

Kasich: I beat Hillary!

Stephanopoulos: good for you

Kasich: also I have foreign policy knowledge

Stephanopoulos: perhaps

Kasich: this is going to be so much fun!

Stephanopoulos: they're going to
steal the nomination from Trump

Kasich: an open convention is a magical time
when old establishment white guys who won
only one state are given the nomination

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: welcome Reince

Priebus: hello George

Stephanopoulos: Trump's team is
calling for Days of Rage!

Priebus: there's no mystery here –
just enforcement of non-existent rules

Stephanopoulos: will Kasich be
barred from the convention?

Priebus: maybe but he could still
be nominated by acclamation

Stephanopoulos: that's interesting

Priebus: the Rules committee will 
review the Rules and make up new 
Rules or maybe not

Stephanopoulos: be honest Reince 
there are no rules

Priebus: you're right

Stephanopoulos: wow

Priebus: but candidates still have to
have some support somewhere

Stephanopoulos: how comforting

Priebus: we're gonna a have a
perfectly normal multi-ballot convention

Stephanopoulos: Trump won't be 
bound by the pledge

Priebus: we expect candidates 
to keep their promises

Stephanopoulos: well he's not going to

Priebus: he's bluffing!

Stephanopoulos: I don't think he is

Priebus: he's signed a binding
contract in exchange for resources

Stephanopoulos: is that a threat?

Priebus: darn right it is

Stephanopoulos: women hate Trump
and it's hurting the GOP

Priebus: we're an open party welcoming to all

Stephanopoulos: not with Trump you aren't

Priebus: oh god [ starts sobbing ]

Stephanopoulos: do you need your binkie?

Priebus: this is not happening!!

Stephanopoulos: there there
[ hands Reince a tissue ]
[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: Donald Trump came on
your show although you hate him

Sykes: in Wisconsin we value decency
and rationality and reasonableness

Stephanopoulos: i've heard that

Sykes: also beer and brats and 
fried fish and beer

Stephanopoulos: you said beer twice

Sykes: well it's important

Stephanopoulos: do you support Ted Cruz?

Sykes: we prefer Ryan and Walker

Stephanopoulos: I see

Sykes: Trump is a scam artist

Stephanopoulos: whoa

Gilbert: the GOP here is united and we
don't like Trump's attacks on the establishment

Stephanopoulos: but also Cruz attacks the establishment

Gilbert: but he's so bad at it

Stephanopoulos: you believe there are
many Trump supporters in your state

Duffy: people love him up here –
thousands of people came out in the
cold to see that fluffy headed lunatic

Duffy: but Ted Cruz is everyones fifth choice

Sykes: Duffy is delusional –
people are repelled by Trump

Stephanopoulos: ooh

Sykes: people here love Ted Cruz

Duffy: I'm in the north woods and

they love America and hate Mexicans

No comments: