Monday, October 12, 2015

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – October 11, 2015

Host: Martha Raddatz
Richard Marquardt
Jon Karl
Cecilia Vega
Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT)
Michael Leiter
Cokie Roberts
Mark Halperin
Reihan Salam
LZ Granderson

Raddatz: OMG there was a terror 
attack in Turkey!

Marquardt: a bomb went off at a peace rally

Marquardt: 100 people were killed

Marquardt: it's the worst terror attack 
in modern Turkish history

Marquardt: Turkey broke a truce 
with the Kurds

Raddatz: wow

Leiter: this is Turkey's 9/11

Raddatz: goodness

Leiter: this all a result of the Syria civil war

Raddatz: amazing

Leiter: there is no stability in the region

Raddatz: is seems like we can't
find any moderates in Syria

Leiter: yes its disappointing –
we hoped to find them and we can't

Raddatz: that's a shame

Leiter: we can't just make war on ISIS
we have to wage war on Assad too!

Raddatz: Russia bombed Iran
by accident – why would they do that?

Leiter: it's a true clusterfuck Martha

Raddatz: the Iraq military says
they may have killed al-Baghdadi

Leiter: thats very nice but it doesn't
change the realities on the ground

Raddatz: thanks for coming sunshine

[ break ]

Raddatz: Biden may run for President and
Cecilia is on the ground in Delaware covering
every moment of the non-event

Vega: all eyes are on Joe Biden!

Vega: he's dodging questions!

Vega: sources say he may or may 
not run for President

Vega: polls say he would cut into
Clinton's big lead by a little bit!

Vega: Hillary issued a warning to Joe
by saying people would ask him questions

Vega: OMG Clinton flip-flopped 
on the trade deal

Vega: holy shit Clinton differs with 
Obama on some things!

Vega: Sanders is drawing huge crowds!
Vega: oh lordy the GOP is running ads 
against Clinton!

Raddatz: when is the latest date Joe Biden 
could enter the race?

Vega: well he could run as a write-in candidate in November of 2006

Raddatz: oh my god that's so exciting

Vega: but no one thinks that will happen

Raddatz: oh darn

Vega: some say its already too late

Raddatz: what about the debate?

Vega: all eyes on the debate!

Raddatz I love it!

Vega: Biden could announce he's
running for President on the day 
of the debate

Raddatz: that would incredible

Vega: but no one believes that will happen

Raddatz: you telling me things 
that won't happen

Vega: also Hillary is a flip-flopper

Raddatz: woo

[ break ]

Raddatz: Jon what's going
on in Washington?

Karl: the GOP are looking
for anyone to be Speaker

Raddatz: how's that coming?

Karl: they're all begging Paul Ryan to take the job

Issa: I carried Paul's jock strap!

Cruz: you're all losers and squishes

Raddatz: no one wants to be the
second most powerful person in America?

Karl: the GOP is in total disarray

Raddatz: jeez

Karl: they have a big majority
but they're divided

Raddatz: that seems like a problem

Karl: Trump and Carson are just like 
Bernie Sanders because they have 
no experience in government

Raddatz: but Sanders has been 
a Senator for years

Karl: don't step on my narrative Martha

Raddatz: sorry

Karl: our government is a House
of Cards about to collapse

Raddatz: welcome Representative Chaffetz

Chaffetz: nice to be here Martha

Raddatz: observers are saying
the Republican about to cease to
function as political party

Chaffetz: about to?

Raddatz: they're comparing your
search for a Speaker to a banana republic
and Game of Thrones

Chaffetz: this is all Obama's fault

Raddatz: no doubt

Chaffetz: we need a very special Speaker
to sell our very unpopular ideas

Raddatz: good plan

Chaffetz: we need a fresh face –
which is why I'm running

Raddatz: can you bridge the divide?

Chaffetz: no I can't but Paul Ryan can

Raddatz: so you're endorsing him

Chaffetz: yes but also I'm
saying if not him – why not me?

Raddatz: conservatives say
you've become a liberal squish

Chaffetz: that's not fair – I've worked on
Benghazi and Fast and Furious and
many other fake scandals

Raddatz: is Paul Ryan running?

Chaffetz: Paul is a wonderful human
and visionary – like a combination of
Malala and Steve Jobs

Raddatz: he's handsome too

Chaffetz: he puts it his family first –
which is why I will be very disappointed
if he runs for Speaker

Raddatz: one Tea Party guy says
Paul Ryan would be the worst speaker ever

Chaffetz: well he's an idiot

Raddatz: how do you get along with 
nuts like that?

Chaffetz: re-write the rules of the Congress

Raddatz: can you win?

Chaffetz: I have reputation for being
fair except with my lying charts

Raddatz: Americans look at
Congress and think it's in total chaos

Chaffetz: the American people want
us to default on the debt to make sure
the Obama Presidency ends in disaster

Raddatz: I don't know about that

Chaffetz: Americans hate Congress
but also hate the Senate and Obama

Raddatz: a former Benghazi
staffer says he was fired for not
hating Hillary Clinton enough

Chaffetz: this is totally professional hearing

Raddatz: well then why would a 
staffer say that?

Chaffetz: I have no idea Martha

[ break ]

Raddatz: welcome panelists

Raddatz: Clinton is still the front runner!

Roberts: you'd never know it
from the media coverage

Roberts: she's a good debater
but then so is Bernie Sanders

Roberts: then there are the other losers
who need this debate to stand out

Raddatz: will there be fireworks?

Roberts: we will hear a lot
about flip-flops – ha ha ha

Raddatz: David Brooks dislikes
Clinton – she's doomed

Halperin: the party fears Bernie Sanders

Raddatz: of course

Halperin: the media desperately 
wants her to fail

Raddatz: what about Biden not-running?

Granderson: do liberals want an 
Obama third term?

Raddtaz: how does Biden run?

Salam: he should run as a dumb white man

Roberts: then he'll only get Republican votes

Raddatz: true

Roberts: he should also think
about whether he wants to run

Halperin: also if he wants to be President

Raddatz: good suggestions everyone

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