Monday, October 05, 2015

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – October 4, 2015

Donald Trump
Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN)
Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK)
Greta Van Susteren
Matt Bai

Stephanopoulos: omg there was 
another mass shooting

Obama: somehow mass shootings
have become routine! We've become 
numb to this!

Stephanopoulos: welcome Donald Trump

Trump: yo

Stephanopoulos: President Obama 
says we have too much mass murder 
and need gun control

Trump: Obama is a great divider!

Stephanopoulos: really?

Trump: yes because in two million
years you will still have massacres

Stephanopoulos: but these shootings
only seem to happen in America which
just happens to have more guns than people

Trump: but Chicago has tough
gun laws and are lots of killings

Stephanopoulos: so as President
you would do nothing at all

Trump: yes because in a million
years this will still happen

Stephanopoulos: I see

Trump: no matter what you do
you will always have gun massacres

Stephanopoulos: well that's too bad

Trump: you will always have this!

Stephanopoulos: but you're Mister Fix-It

Trump: I used to be but now
I'm “Mister Nothing To be Done”

Stephanopoulos: right

Trump: no matter what we do Americans
will constantly use portable killing machines
to kill each other in large numbers

Stephanopoulos: oh well what can you do?

Trump: you can politically correct
and say I will solve the problem
but this can't be solved

Stephanopoulos: okay then let's
move on from mass death

Trump: that's probably best

Stephanopoulos: your tax plan would
increase the debt by 10 trillion dollars

Trump: that's not going to happen
because of all the jobs I will create

Stephanopoulos: oh okay then

Trump: also I will eliminate the 
Department of Education

Stephanopoulos: will your plan 
cost you money

Trump: yes because of carried interest

Stephanopoulos: but you would 
slash the top tax rate which is a 
great gift to very rich

Trump: that's true but the rich would
put that money would back into the economy

Stephanopoulos: they would

Trump: yes if you are poor and build
mega-yachts or work for Sotheby's
this is your lucky day

Stephanopoulos: the good news 
just keeps coming

Trump: I will would pay more 
under my tax plan!

Stephanopoulos: no you wouldn't

Trump: well I don't like taxes anyway

Stephanopoulos: your family would inherit
billions without paying a cent in taxes

Trump: the estate tax destroys family farms

Stephanopoulos: oh come on

Trump: the death tax is a tragedy and a double tax

Stephanopoulos: so you would 
do very well under you plan

Trump: everyone would do great!

Stephanopoulos: will you release your tax returns?

Trump: when Hillary releases her e-mails

Stephanopoulos: she already did

Trump: the Iran deal is bad!

Stephanopoulos: back to your taxes

Trump: I'm proud that I fight to
pay as little taxes as possible

Stephanopoulos: I'm proud I
asked Obama about flag pins

Trump: I like you George

Stephanopoulos: what about Syria?

Trump: I want to sit back
and see what happens

Stephanopoulos: that's all?

Trump: I think Russia might
be trapped in in Syria like they
were in Afghanistan

Stephanopoulos: or Luke on Cloud City

Trump: they're bombing ISIS!

Stephanopoulos: actually they're not

Trump: why should we get involved in
some stupid mideast war to support rebels
who are probably terrorists

Stephanopoulos: well why not

Trump: the U.S. fucked up Iraq and Libya

Stephanopoulos: that's true

Trump: and now we want
to do it again in Syria?

Stephanopoulos: you said we should take
in refugees and then said we shouldn't

Trump: in all the photos of the refugees
where are all the women and children?

Stephanopoulos: well some of then are short

Trump: we don't know who these people are
this fake refugee crisis is the greatest
Trojan horse since American Pharoah

Stephanopoulos: whoah

Trump: we screwed up the Middle East
so these refugees probably want to
escape the war and kill us

Stephanopoulos: that checks out

Trump: if I'm President I am sending
every Syria refugee back

Stephanopoulos: back – to the future!

Trump: are they ISIS? Probably not

Stephanopoulos: um okay

Trump: we don't know who they are!

Stephanopoulos: what kind of first
lady would Melania be

Trump: she would be a beautiful
and classy first lady

Stephanopoulos: of course

Trump: she thinks Jeb is terrible
on women's health issues

Stephanopoulos: is that right?

Trump: my wife and daughter come up
to me all the time and say 'Donald you
are so great for the women'

Stephanopoulos: you're doing 
well in this race

Trump: I've had a lot of fun with this

Stephanopoulos: well that's the important thing

Trump: politicians are all talk and no action

Stephanopoulos: unlike you

Trump: the debates had high 
ratings because of me!

Stephanopoulos: when will you drop out?

Trump: I'm beating two politicians
from Florida – in Florida!

Stephanopoulos: impressive

Trump: if I were losing I would drop out
I got better things to do

Stephanopoulos: no doubt

Trump: but now I'm loving it
and having fun

Stephanopoulos: great

Trump: but its not just about me
having fun – it's about making
America great again

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: well gang there was
another yet mass shooting at a school

Obama: I'm sick of these
fucking mass shootings!

Stephanopoulos: he seems riled up

Van Susteren: murder has now
become a political issue

Stephanopoulos: amazing

Van Susteren: the guns are out there
so gun control laws won't change anything

Stephanopoulos: oh never mind then

Van Susteren: so maybe regulate ammunition

Stephanopoulos: interesting

Van Susteren: no one wants real solutions
they just want to fund raise off this

Cole: in Congress it's all about mental illness

Stephanopoulos: but why does this
only happen in America?

Ellison: we can still do something
on background checks and high 
capacity magazines

Van Susteren: but there's a huge black market in guns

Ellison: that what's we to pass national laws!

Stephanopoulos: what can we realistically do?

Ellison: allow the CDC to study gun deaths!

Bai: how do you balance the right of
mentally ill people to own lots of machine
guns against the right not to be murdered

Stephanopoulos: should we forcibly
institutionalize people?

Cole: I'm in Congress and that 
might be a good idea

Ellison: throwing up our hands is defeatist

Van Susteren: don't forget evil

Bai: should evil people be permitted
to stockpile military weapons?

Van Susteren: video games make
young people want to kill strangers

Ellison: they have video games in England!

Stephanopoulos: those appeased
Hitler so what do they know

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