Guests:
Dr.
Ben Carson
Rep.
Trey Gowdy
Rep.
Elijah Cummings
Jon
Harwood
Doris
Keans Goodwin
Jennifer
Rubin
Stephen
Henderson
Todd:
OMG it was the most important
10 days since 1917!
Todd:
Joe Biden dropped out!
Todd:
Hillary Clinton thrived at
the Benghazi hearing!
Todd:
and Jeb's campaign is failing!
Jeb:
I've got better things to do than –
vote
for Trump you ingrateful fuckers
Todd:
we're 99 days away from Iowa!
Todd:
the smarty-pants crowd
is
confused by Carson
Trump:
Ben Carson is beating
me
but he's sleepy
Todd:
Donald Trump attacked
your
weird religion
Carson:
I don't get into the mud pit
Todd:
he says you have no energy
Carson:
I spent 20 hours in surgery
Todd:
were you awake?
Carson:
but I am relaxed – I was once volatile
Todd:
oh really
Carson:
I used to throw bricks at people
and
once tried to stab someone
Todd:
that's pretty hard core Ben
Carson:
I'm a different person now
Todd:
why do you always use Nazi metaphors
Carson:
Jewish people tell me
they
love my Nazi metaphors
Todd:
they do?
Carson:
it's the media who try to
stir things
up just because you
call someone Hitler
Todd:
so you really believe Jews could
have
stopped the Holocaust if hey had guns?
Carson:
tyrants always disarm people
so
they can dominate people
Todd:
so should citizens have rocket
launchers
to overthrow the government
Carson:
of course otherwise we
will have absolute tyranny
Todd:
really?
Carson:
yes but we should
forcibly
disarm crazy people
Todd:
so sane people should
have
any weapons at all
Carson:
of course
Todd:
what about surface to air missiles?
Carson:
there are laws about that
Todd:
well that's my point
Carson:
right
Todd:
okay
Carson:
exactly
Todd:
does life begin at conception?
Carson:
I think so
Todd:
who has greater rights – the
zygote or the woman?
Carson:
ideally there would never
be abortion
Todd:
okay
Carson:
it's perverted to think women
have
a right to abortion
Todd:
so you think there is no right to abortion?
Carson:
none at all
Todd:
I see
Carson:
women enslave their embryos!
Todd:
would you make all abortion
illegal
with no exception?
Carson:
that sounds right
Todd:
what about to save the
life
and health of the mother?
Carson:
possibly
Todd:
how about rape or and incest
Carson:
you don't kill a baby for that!
Todd:
got it
Carson:
what if that baby grew up
to
be heroic politician who found to
restrict
individual rights?
Todd:
what's your health care plan?
Carson:
Medicare and Medicaid
hold
people back from success!
Todd:
some people like them
Carson:
I don't want to get rid of them –
I
just want to get of the need for them
Todd:
how do you do that
Carson:
we give people cash
Todd:
cash is good
Carson:
we allow people to shift cash around
Todd:
you would eliminate insurance companies?
Carson:
no because you would still
need
to buy a cheap catastrophic plan
Todd:
so where does the cash come from?
Carson:
we take it Medicaid and Medicare
Todd:
would you hire a surgeon who
never
had any experience in medicine
and
if not why should Americans make you President?
Carson:
our government was set up to
be run at an 8th grade level
Todd:
maybe
Carson:
experience is useless –
common sense is much better
Todd:
perhaps
Carson:
plus I will surround
myself
with experienced people
Todd:
good idea
Carson:
I'm always thinking
Todd:
thanks for coming Doc
Carson:
you too Charles
[
break ]
Todd:
we got fresh polls!
Todd:
which party is in the mainstream?
Surprise!
It's the Democrats
Todd:
Independents agree with
Democrats
on everything but guns
Todd:
on the other hand people
really
really love guns
Todd:
omg everyone agrees
Hillary
ruled the Benghazi hearings
Todd:
good morning Rep Gowdy
Gowdy:
uuugh
Todd:
you grilled Hillary Clinton
for
11 hours and didn't learn anything new
Gowdy:
well there are several tranches
Todd:
which tranche cover 'epic fuck-up'
Gowdy:
she didn't take responsibility!
Todd:
oh alll right
Gowdy:
the penulitmate objective
is
to avoid another Benghazi
Todd:
you seem obsessed with Sidney Blumenthal
Gowdy:
no she was obsessed with him!
Todd:
of course
Gowdy:
he was writing to her about Libya!
Todd:
got it
Gowdy:
why did he have unfettered
access
to her! Where were the fetters??
Todd:
but you never even asked
about Libya policy in general
Gowdy:
Susan Brooks did ask about her piles
Todd:
but Susan Brooks also
lied
during the hearing
Gowdy:
nobody's perfect
Todd:
true enough
Gowdy:
Clinton said Blumenthal's
e-mails
were unsolicited!
Todd:
do you regret grilling her
for
eleven hours on live television
Gowdy:
hey nobody forced her to come!
Todd:
oh I see
Gowdy:
we only bicker on live television
Todd:
you think television adds to grandstanding?
Gowdy:
of course it does
Todd:
how sad for you
Gowdy:
I wanted it to be secret hearing
but
that stupid Hillary Clinton wanted
the
American people see the truth
Todd:
was Hillary Clinton a cooperative witness?
Gowdy:
no because she lied
Todd:
thanks for coming Tray
Gowdy:
aargh
[
break ]
Todd:
the Democrats didn't challenge Hillary Clinton!
Cummings:
we're interested in the truth!
Todd:
Trey wanted the hearings in secret
and
hidden from the people as befitting
a
great democracy
Cummings:
frankly unlike Trey Gowdy
I'm
glad the hearings were public and
not
done in private
Todd:
you're objectively pro-democracy
Cummings:
the families begged us to
make
sure this wasn't a political football
Todd:
Hillary told Chelsea it was al-qaeda
but
told the public it was about an internet video
Cummings:
that's because that night
al-qaeda
took credit for it and then the
CIA
said it was about a video
Todd:
will Democrats quit the
committee in protest?
Cummings:
no because we need
Democrats
in the room to defend the truth!
Todd:
of course you do
Cummings:
let's release all the transcripts!
Let
the people see what this has been all about!
Todd:
are you running for the Senate in Maryland?
Cummings:
well I'm leading in the polls and I'm not even running
Todd:
impressive – most impressive
Cummings:
but first I gotta ask Trey Gowdy
when
this damn Benghazi committee is
going
to wrap up its witch hunt
Todd:
I notice you do keep track of the polls though
Cummings:
oh you gotta do that Chuck!
Todd:
indeed you do – thanks for coming!
Cummings:
thank you T-man!
[
break ]
Todd:
in ten days Clinton tightened
her
grip on the White House
Todd:
this was the month she won the Presidency
Todd:
in September everyone was
writing her off
Todd:
then won the first Democratic debate
and
Joe Biden dropped out and then won
an
eleven-hour hearing
Todd:
she looked polished and Presidential
Gowdy:
I had a rough Thursday
Todd:
it looks like Clinton is in it to win
and
no one and nothing can stop her
[
break ]
Todd:
welcome panelists
Todd:
Jeb Bush said he's got better things
to
do than listening to people demonize
him
and everyone elect Trump
Goodwin:
to be elected President you have
to
show strength and optimism not whining and complaining
Hardwood:
he sounds like weasel
Todd:
the American people want an outsider
Rubin:
Bush acts petty and put-upon
Todd:
it's not an act
Rubin:
he's befuddled and unhappy because
he
felt he should have made President by universal acclaim
Henderson:
Ben Carson is getting lots of small donations
Todd:
Trump loved polls when he was leading
and
now he's coming in second he's attacking the pollsters
Todd:
then he attacked Ben Carson's
weird
religion on their sabbath
Goodwin:
can you win an election without
proving
yourself unworthy of the office?
Todd:
speaking of that – Trump still leads
Hardwood:
and yet he's panicking
over
one poll in one small state
Todd:
who cares about Iowa anyway?
Rubin:
Trump does because
he
needs to be the alpha dog
Todd:
he attacked Ben Carson's religion
Henderson:
that was un-American
Todd:
is the real winner Marco Rubio?
Hardwood:
the nominee will probably
an
insider with some minimal qualifications
and
the person most likely to fill that
gap is Rubio
Todd:
Bernie Sanders is going directly
after
Hillary Clinton saying she's
unprincipled
and lacks judgment
Henderson:
where was he during the debate?
Todd:
is he Barack Hussein Obama
or
is he Gene Hussein McCarthy?
Goodwin:
he's should say he's going
to
bring the outside and insider together
like
abolitionists did
Goodwin:
Clinton is shedding her former
sense
of entitlement and is now a fighter
Todd:
what does her new status
do to the Republicans?
Rubin:
the GOP now know they need to
nominate
someone articulate and who
is
not a total crazy person
Todd:
Mitt Romney?
[
laughter ]
Todd:
this week Romney endorsed
Obamacare
then immediately backtracked
Hardwood:
jesus what an idiot
Todd:
why can't he just be himself –
Henderson:
right – he's not even
running for anything
Todd:
or maybe he is!
[
laughter ]
Todd:
and that's another
episode
of Meet The Press
