Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - May 10, 2009

May 10, 2009

Matthews: OMG Obama is a scary black man and he's getting us in Afghanistan!

Woodward: OMG Obama is killing civilians!

Mitchell: oops so we killed a few civvies

Stengel: Pakistan is unthinkable

Matthews: so what do we think?

Stengel: ask Winston Churchill

Woodward: the Pakistanis are plotting against us!

Mitchell: there is no government in Pakistan - it's like a really bad reality show

Matthews: can the US control the nation of Pakistan?

Kay: we can't even control Texas

Matthews: OMG Obama said we can control Pakistan's nukes!

Woodward: well we did give them $100 million

Matthews: are those nukes within the grabable area?

Mitchell: confidence is not high

Matthews: if the Taliban take over Pakistan who they will they give the nukes to?

Kay: not this stupid mtyth again

Matthews: OMG Obama is going to nominate a hispanic woman - where will he find one?!?!

Woodward: sonia someone

Matthews: no not Sonia she hates white men

Matthews: isn't 'empathy' code for hiring a woman who doesn't know anything about the law but can change a diaper??

Woodward: he's not stupid Chris

Mitchell: Empathy is code for someone who knows the Constitution and has life experience

Stengel: Obama might hire someone who knows what life is like

Matthews: does he have to pick a woman?

Bob: not necessarily - he could appoint himself and do double duty

Mitchell: fuck you bob

Bob: i changed my mind - he will pick a woman

Mitchell: US has to make peace in India and Pakistan

Stengel: my big scoop is I found out who let the dogs out - it was michelle obama

Chris: wow

Matthews: who will lead the GOP party back??

Stengel: Mitt Romney - he bought a house in New Hampshire which will fool everyone

Mitchell: some guy in Utah

Woodward: Mitt and Newt

Katty Kay: Joe Scar and the Mittster who will save our economy

Chris: obviously it will be.... Rudy Giuliani!!


Deacon Blues said...

Thanks for the English translation, CoT. I don't speak jibberish.

Anonymous said...

Funny summary. But I saw the show, and that was Andrea Mitchell, not Stahl. Not that it makes a lot of difference.


Culture of Tr√úth said...

Thanks - it was Mitchell, of course.

Kiki B. said...

This transcript could not be more accurate. OMG.

wetsgowedwings said...

CoT, your translations are nothing short of comedy gold! i'm so glad they are being saved for posterity.