Sunday, June 29, 2008

MEET THE PRESS - June 29, 2008

Meet The Press
June 29, 2008
Host: Tom Brokaw
Gov. Dave Freudenthal, D-Wyoming
Gov. Bill Ritter, D-Colorado
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, R-California
Chuck Todd

Brokaw: i'm tom brokaw - i'm not an effete Nantucket dude like Tim Russert I'm a working class guy from the West in front of a fireplace

Audience: but in Jackson Hole in the average home costs $900,000

Brokaw: shhhhhhhhh

Brokaw: Hillary?

Bill Ritter: Obama can win here people like his message

Dave Freudenthal: dave you keep flip flopping on Obama - McCain

Freudenthal: yeah but McCain has morphed into Dick Cheney

Brokaw: Dick is from Wyoming

Freudenthal: don't remind me that about that fucker

Brokaw: can Hussein win Wyoming?

Freudenthal: no but we are independent minded so you never know

Brokaw: Hispanics?

Ritter: Obama will win them because he is optimistic and smart and not an old, out of touch, pandering loon

Brokaw: McCain wants to drill in your state and build 45 nukes

Freudenthal: that's because he's an idiot

Brokaw: true but McCain was a POW

Freudenthal: i don't give a shit - Obama has a good environmental policy

Brokaw: you are sitting on a mountain of coal should we stop using coal

Freudenthal: hmmm, let me think about that ..... no

Brokaw: nuke plants?

Freudenthal: sure but also we have a lot of wind here especially since Meet the Press showed up

Brokaw: touché

Ritter: we have to have a national policy on greenhouse gases

Brokaw: will Woody Biomass speak at the DNC

Ritter: he's very green

Brokaw: give me an example

Ritter: at the Convention the media will be given recycled caviar

Brokaw: aw nawes

Brokaw: are at a stage in this national when laws might be different from Wyoming to Harlem??

Freudenthal: could be

Ritter: as a law talking guy I say we still should have the ability to crack skulls

Brokaw: just allow guns in DC

Ritter: right

Brokaw: abortion!

Ritter: we here in the west like fetuses in fact here they do goat-riding

Brokaw: the war!

Freudenthal: it's very nice but people really care about fueling their pickup trucks

Brokaw: should we leave Iraq?

Freudenthal: no we should stay and listen to the Generals

Brokaw: so why endorse Obama

Freudenthal: in the West we are independent for example we still reserve the right to settle disputes with a shootout

Ritter: Colorado has sent more national guard than anyone else so of course we love the war

Brokaw: does Obama have values like right wing evangelicals or is he a sinner

Ritter: no asshole he does have values - like he cares about the future of the earth

Brokaw: illegal Mexicans!

Ritter: our farmers and waiters all left

Brokaw: oh noes

Brokaw: this is where the Buffalo roam

Freudenthal: Bush sucks on that issue too

Brokaw: go bills!

Freudenthal: Kempthorne has no support from Bush

Brokaw: who is that??

Freudenthal: Bush's Sec. of Interior

Brokaw: oh that explains it

Brokaw: Cheney is from Wyoming

Freudenthal: people despise that fucker although he has pandered for us from time to time

Brokaw: can the West show us all how we can all get along

Ritter: that's right - the high elevation and rocky mountains and desert heat mess with out haids

Freudenthal: we're pragmatic if not we're going to get killed by a grizzly bear or an Indian

[ break ]

Brokaw: gimme your Russert love

Schwarzenegger: Russert promised to make me President

Brokaw: well you are a Republican

Schwarzenegger: its not a humor!!

Brokaw: you have presided over a depression in callyfornia

Schwarzenegger: doan be a girly-man!

Brokaw: your economy sucks

Schwarzenegger: what goes up must come down

Brokaw: you spend like crazy

Schwarzenegger: we're building levees and schools and stealing water for the next generation of desert dwellers

Brokaw: people hate you

Schwarzenegger: hey i had a great body building career

Brokaw: will the GOP lose all their congressional seats?

Schwarzenegger: who cares i hate them all

Brokaw: so you hate the GOP

Schwarzenegger: no dems have now Congress and they suck

Brokaw: you endorsed pander bear

Schwarzenegger: i love him but i disagree with him on everything -- it's like with my wife

Brokaw: how so?

Schwarzenegger: i'm with them both out of political expediency

Brokaw: let me quote the Mustache of Pandering - Tom Freidmann says Bush is evil

Schwarzenegger: look i'm just a bad actor with a lot of muscles - get off my back!!

Brokaw: you're a politician

Schwarzenegger: stop picking on Bush it's easy to pick on a guy with mental problems

Brokaw: housing crisis??

Schwarzenegger: dis ess vewy sad -- we must pump.... the economy up!!!

Brokaw: answer the question

Schwarzenegger: the economists lied to me!!

Brokaw: you should read more Eschaton

Schwarzenegger: is that a bodybuilding magazine?

Brokaw: explain housing to me

Schwarzenegger: eet vas a bubble

Brokaw: gays!

Schwarzenegger: i had a lot of gay friends in bodybuilding and it's wrong to ban gay marriage - although i don't like gay marriage

Brokaw: abortion?

Schwarzenegger: I support a waiting period and notification of parents 100%

Brokaw: Maria endorsed Obama - you guys are trying to have it both ways

Schwarzenegger: see we're not so dumb

Brokaw: I get that sense

Schwarzenegger: would like to see my pecs?

Brokaw: No thanks

Schwarzenegger: McCain is THE MAN!!

Brokaw: do you ever talk to Caroline Kennedy

Schwarzenegger: can you believe i managed to marry into the Kennedy family it's what i dreamed of as a sexually conflicted young boy in Austria

Brokaw: McCain's Veep?

Schwarzenegger: he should find someone with many muscles

Schwarzenegger: McCain can bring the parties together after all he has taken every position on everything

Brokaw: like you did in california

Schwarzenegger: yes exactly we should have no partisanship and work together just as soon as we recall all dems with lies and install Republican b-movie action stars in power

[ break]

Brokaw: tell me about the West

Chuck Todd: the West is turning Blue!

Brokaw: but they are can-do guys

Todd: yeah right the GOP went whacko and the allowed the latte-drinking america haters to take the West

Brokaw: McCain is a war hero and a maverick!

Todd: yeah but there are lot of young people out here and hispanics

Brokaw: so what?

Todd: the name Tom Tancredo mean anything to you?

Brokaw: the Dems are cheating by holding their convention in Denver

Todd: sadly they are having trouble selling out to corporate america

Brokaw: Veeps?

Todd: McCain needs to choose someone from the West

Brokaw: but he's from Arizona!

Todd: yeah but Mitt Romney could help with Mormons in Utah and robots in sillicon valley

Brokaw: Obama is running on the money from crazies on the interent

Todd: no traction yet but someday maybe in the future John McCain won't be fucked

Brokaw: thank you Todd here's your check from GE

Todd: merci

Brokaw: how many clintons will speak at Denver

Todd: two - Hillary and Chelsea

Brokaw: no bill?

Todd: no there will a MST3K tribute video

Brokaw: oarsome

1 comment:

Ali said...

U R brilliant.