Guests:
Ricard Engel
Sec, of State Hillary Clinton
Sec. of Defense Bob Gates
Sen. Richard Lugar (R-IN)
Bob Woodward
Ted Koppel
Thomas Ricks
Savannah Guthrie
******************************
Gregory: the Libyan rebels are advancing!
Engel: the allied air strikes paved the way for the rebels by destroying Qaddafi’s tanks
Gregory: what will become of our former
ally Qaddafi?
Engel: I foresee a reality show followed by
Dancing With the Stars
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama said it would be days not weeks and yet were are now in the second week - why is
Obama such a failed President?
Gates: we won dude
Gregory: I hear you saying Qaddafi is routing the
rebels and Obama has failed
Clinton: no we prevented a humanitarian disaster
Gregory: will America give weapons to the rebels?
Gates: maybe
Gregory: well are we on their side or not?
Gates: the President is rooting for UConn but he’s
not sending them guns either
Clinton: it’s been 8 days and the Arab League and the African Union and the NFL are all pressuring Qaddafi to get out
Gregory: oh my
Clinton: we’re sending a message to his supporters - get out now or end up in the Hague
Gregory: so Obama hates him but won’t take him out because Obama is a wimp
Gates: his kung-fu is mighty
Gregory: Boehner supports the mission but
has questions
Clinton: the Senate called for a No-Fly Zone -
hell they demanded it
Gregory: darn
Clinton: then the Security Council and Arab League asked for action - and watch al-jazeera -
people love this!
Gregory: I don’t watch other channels
Clinton: what if Qaddafi had massacred people and destabilized Egypt - can you imagine what the GOP would have said then?
Gregory: they would have called him timid
and a wimp
Clinton: they did that even after he attacked
Gregory: no that was me
Clinton: right
Gregory: are we stretched too thin?
Gates: no most of those troops were guarding Berlin
Gregory: ok
Gates: we’re already pulling back from the
quagmire in Libya
Gregory: what if things devolve into utter chaos - won’t you admit Obama is a bad President then?
Gates: I heard you have Obama-derangement Fluffy
Gregory: will you take out Assad in Syria?
Clinton: we would love for it to happen in
a peaceful way
Gregory: why aren’t you giving the dictator of
Saudi Arabia more love and aren’t you hypocrites for giving him love?
Gates: hey they just bought a lot of weapons from America - if that isn’t friendship I don’t know what is
Gregory: there are scary muslims in Egypt!
Clinton: it’s hard to be part of a movement for hope and change and then actually take power
Gregory: heh
Clinton: their future is up to the Egyptians
Gregory: is Libya in the U.S. vital interest?
Gates: no
Gregory: OMG a lot of people by which I mean me would be shocked by that
Clinton: hey America was attacked on 9/11 but other countries joined with us - so no we weren’t attacked by Libya but it was in the vital interest of France and that’s good enough for Obama
Gregory: Geraldine Ferraro died
Clinton: she had grace and grit
[ break ]
Gregory: are we bogged down in a failed military action in Libya?
Lugar: what is the endgame? What is success?
Gregory: good questions
Lugar: those so-called rebels started a civil war - bucha traitors!!
Gregory: you go dick
Lugar: I’m appalled that we started a no-fly zone also that we might pull back from the no-fly zone
Gregory: so you’re saying Obama is a bad President
Lugar: Am I? I’m not sure
Gregory: Obama must be forthright -
don’t you agree??
Lugar: Obama told me he was saving thousands of lives and was then pulling back
Gregory: omg Obama is so bad!
Lugar: I’m confused
Gregory: see what I mean!
Lugar: America’s interest is not at stake and I was told there would be pudding
Gregory: isn’t this all too expensive?
Lugar: exactly the deficit is too high to have an 8 day no-fly zone in Libya - it could cost a billion dollars
Gregory: [ pinky raised ] a billion!
Lugar: They’re hoping Qaddafi will voluntarily leave and it would be just like Obama to get lucky like that which would be terrible
[ break ]
Gregory: Questions and criticism for Obama!
Koppel: why not alleviate suffering in Congo, Sudan, the Ivory Coast or Louisiana?
Guthrie: you have to put this in the context in the Arab Spring but Obama is not using apocalyptic rhetoric which is very confusing to people
Gregory: what if the rebels win? this is terrible!
Ricks: so you say Fluffy
Gregory: the Obama Doctrine is other nations have to enforce the Obama Doctrine
Woodward: but this isn’t a video game
Gregory: ah
Woodward: this is war which means America must kill a lot of people
Gregory: I hear you Bob
Woodward: the region would be fine except for all the damm people
Gregory: we are entering a dark territory
Koppel: the rebels are all probably with al-qaeda
Ricks: Fluffy and Ted are clearly bringing their rational paranoia to this action
Koppel: Arrraggghh!!!
Ricks: we are bombing an Arab nation and
the people there are cheering it which is kind of incredible
Gurthie: it’s a paradox because Obama carefully thought through his policy and then competently implemented it
Gregory: but we are an indispensable nation!
Guthrie: Obama is sending mixed messages because America is supposed to rush in and kick ass without planning or thinking it through
Koppel: Obama is probably responsible for a future terrorist attack on America
Gregory: is Obama getting the big ideas right?
Woodward: Obama needs to kill some foreigners
to be reelected
Gregory: right
Woodward: this is Obama’s 9/11
Gregory: how so?
Woodward: it involves scary arabs muslims
Gregory: what is the GOP position?
Koppel: they are waiting to see what happens before deciding how Obama is a failure
Gregory: Obama is a failure because the
middle east is out of control
Guthrie: the last few months have been crazy
Ricks: the military fears a quagmire but this gunboat diplomacy is very American
Gregory: but what if Obama totally fails?
Woodward: such a good point Fluffy
Woodward: A limited war is like Mitt Romney -
it makes no sense, is inherently contradictory, and it’s hard to find the ‘off switch’
Koppel: Libya is like Somalia therefore it will be a failure and lead to the deaths of 800,000 people
and terror attacks on America
Kucinich: we need peace because we
can’t afford war
Guthrie: the Obama administration is scared of a Kucinich challenge
Gregory: really?
Guthrie: ha no I’m kidding
Ricks: Team Obama will not give in to mission creep
Woodward: our oil comes a muslim arab dictator
Gregory: OMG!!!!!
I hope Reince Preibus will have some answers -
and that’s Meet The Press
**************************
Sunday, March 27, 2011
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - March 27, 2011
Guests:
Sec. of State Hillary Gates
Sec. of Defense Bob Gates
Fmr. Sec of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
**************************************
Tapper: what is happening in Libya?!
Marquadt: the rebels are excited - they kicking
ass with a big NATO assist
Tapper: bitchin’
Marquadt: a woman said she was viciously attacked by the government - they proved her she was a liar by viciously attacking her
Tapper: why not just take out Qaddafi and
install a friendly government?
Gates: Because it might not work
Tapper: how is the no-fly zone going
Clinton: we’re handing the football off to NATO
Tapper: why not attack the Ivory Coast?
Clinton: there is a UN force there
Tapper: true but those blue helmets are weenies
Clinton: Qaddafi promised no mercy - he’s from Cobra Kai
Tapper: when will we know it worked?
Gates: it’s already complete - we won!
Tapper: yay
Gates: we prevented a slaughter which a good thing
Clinton: the U.S. Senate called for a no-fly zone
you know
Tapper: yeah but they’re idiots
Clinton: and we’re handing off power to NATO and that’s a watershed moment in international decision-making
Tapper: Watershed Down!
Clinton: Obama learned lessons from our mistakes in Rwanda and Bosnia - face it the guy is smart
Tapper: how long will we be in Libya
Gates: we will be there for a while due to our
tanking ability
Tapper: home by Christmas?
Gates: um which year?
Tapper: did Qaddafi pose a threat to America?
Gates: no but he posed a threat to the revolution in Tunisia which is very popular on twitter
Clinton: what if Qaddafi had promised to kill thousands of people and then did - all the people complaining now would ask why Obama didn’t intervene in Libya
Tapper: why not go to Congress?
Clinton: they should come to us!
Tapper: no seriously
Clinton: this is different becaue the U.N.
Security Council said it was ok
Tapper: what about Yemen?
Gates: it’s a hotbed of al-qaeda - we’re going to
be sorry to see that adorable dictator go
Tapper: Pakistan?
Clinton: it’s a bit of a dysfunction relationship - they won’t help on al-qaeda but Pakistan did let our CIA killer go so that was nice
Tapper: would America let Qaddafi live in luxurious exile in a rich desert land of retired has-beens and corrupt evil decadent billionaires?
Clinton: Saudi Arabia?
Tapper: Las Vegas
Tapper: speaking of evil has-beens - what would Rumsfeld do?
Tapper: Don should we have attacked Libya?
Rumsfeld: there are too many unknowns both known and unknown
Tapper: Should we take out Qaddafi?
Rumsfeld: Syria is sponsoring terror in Afghanistan
Tapper: I see
Rumsfeld: also the Gulf if important
Tapper: Arabia?
Rumsfeld: Mexico - I’m in Pensacola buddy!
Tapper: what would you have done if you had been in the White House god forbid
Rumsfeld: Obama is now seeing how hard it is to be competent and be in the executive branch
Tapper: like you did
Rumsfeld: darn right
Tapper: so do you support the mission?
Rumsfeld: in 1991 Saddam thought he had defeated America and perception is more important than reality and that emboldens his ilk
Tapper: the Bush Administration sent Qaddafi
a fruit basket!
Rumsfeld: yes but we won in perception because he was scared of Bush
Tapper: well you certainly fucked something up
Rumsfeld: no one could have anticipated that Qaddafi would turn out to be unstable
Tapper: Wolfowitz says we must take out Qaddafi
Rumsfeld: yes we must because America’s prestige is now on the line because he could say this is the mother of all battles even though that’s stupid
Tapper: Shouldn’t you have used NATO
against Iraq?
Rumsfeld: no no no Obama’s coalition is tiny -
we had 90 countries on board against terror
Tapper: so war on terror = Iraq
Rumsfeld: look you bastard the coalition should not determine the mission - you should always plough ahead no matter how stupid an idea is
Tapper: if you say so
Rumsfeld: there’s all kinds of confusion in Obama’s mission in Libya which is bad - there was no confusion at all in Iraq
Tapper: you were wrong about absolutely everything
Rumsfeld: Exactly!
*****************************
Sec. of State Hillary Gates
Sec. of Defense Bob Gates
Fmr. Sec of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
**************************************
Tapper: what is happening in Libya?!
Marquadt: the rebels are excited - they kicking
ass with a big NATO assist
Tapper: bitchin’
Marquadt: a woman said she was viciously attacked by the government - they proved her she was a liar by viciously attacking her
Tapper: why not just take out Qaddafi and
install a friendly government?
Gates: Because it might not work
Tapper: how is the no-fly zone going
Clinton: we’re handing the football off to NATO
Tapper: why not attack the Ivory Coast?
Clinton: there is a UN force there
Tapper: true but those blue helmets are weenies
Clinton: Qaddafi promised no mercy - he’s from Cobra Kai
Tapper: when will we know it worked?
Gates: it’s already complete - we won!
Tapper: yay
Gates: we prevented a slaughter which a good thing
Clinton: the U.S. Senate called for a no-fly zone
you know
Tapper: yeah but they’re idiots
Clinton: and we’re handing off power to NATO and that’s a watershed moment in international decision-making
Tapper: Watershed Down!
Clinton: Obama learned lessons from our mistakes in Rwanda and Bosnia - face it the guy is smart
Tapper: how long will we be in Libya
Gates: we will be there for a while due to our
tanking ability
Tapper: home by Christmas?
Gates: um which year?
Tapper: did Qaddafi pose a threat to America?
Gates: no but he posed a threat to the revolution in Tunisia which is very popular on twitter
Clinton: what if Qaddafi had promised to kill thousands of people and then did - all the people complaining now would ask why Obama didn’t intervene in Libya
Tapper: why not go to Congress?
Clinton: they should come to us!
Tapper: no seriously
Clinton: this is different becaue the U.N.
Security Council said it was ok
Tapper: what about Yemen?
Gates: it’s a hotbed of al-qaeda - we’re going to
be sorry to see that adorable dictator go
Tapper: Pakistan?
Clinton: it’s a bit of a dysfunction relationship - they won’t help on al-qaeda but Pakistan did let our CIA killer go so that was nice
Tapper: would America let Qaddafi live in luxurious exile in a rich desert land of retired has-beens and corrupt evil decadent billionaires?
Clinton: Saudi Arabia?
Tapper: Las Vegas
Tapper: speaking of evil has-beens - what would Rumsfeld do?
Tapper: Don should we have attacked Libya?
Rumsfeld: there are too many unknowns both known and unknown
Tapper: Should we take out Qaddafi?
Rumsfeld: Syria is sponsoring terror in Afghanistan
Tapper: I see
Rumsfeld: also the Gulf if important
Tapper: Arabia?
Rumsfeld: Mexico - I’m in Pensacola buddy!
Tapper: what would you have done if you had been in the White House god forbid
Rumsfeld: Obama is now seeing how hard it is to be competent and be in the executive branch
Tapper: like you did
Rumsfeld: darn right
Tapper: so do you support the mission?
Rumsfeld: in 1991 Saddam thought he had defeated America and perception is more important than reality and that emboldens his ilk
Tapper: the Bush Administration sent Qaddafi
a fruit basket!
Rumsfeld: yes but we won in perception because he was scared of Bush
Tapper: well you certainly fucked something up
Rumsfeld: no one could have anticipated that Qaddafi would turn out to be unstable
Tapper: Wolfowitz says we must take out Qaddafi
Rumsfeld: yes we must because America’s prestige is now on the line because he could say this is the mother of all battles even though that’s stupid
Tapper: Shouldn’t you have used NATO
against Iraq?
Rumsfeld: no no no Obama’s coalition is tiny -
we had 90 countries on board against terror
Tapper: so war on terror = Iraq
Rumsfeld: look you bastard the coalition should not determine the mission - you should always plough ahead no matter how stupid an idea is
Tapper: if you say so
Rumsfeld: there’s all kinds of confusion in Obama’s mission in Libya which is bad - there was no confusion at all in Iraq
Tapper: you were wrong about absolutely everything
Rumsfeld: Exactly!
*****************************
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Meet The Press - March 20, 2011
Guests:
Admiral Mike Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs of Staff
Sen. John Kerry - (D-MA)
Sen. Carl Levin - (D-MI)
Sen. Jeff Sessions - (R-AL)
Michael Hayden - Frm Dir. of CIA
Richard Haass - Council on Foreign Relations
Richard Engel - NBC
Jim Miklaszewski - NBC
Andrea Mitchell - NBC
Helene Cooper - NYT
**************************
Gregory: wow the allies have launched
Operation Odyssey Dawn!
Audience: isn’t that a Carnival cruise line?
Engel: for a nation with a psychotic leader dealing
with a civil war and under attack Libya is very calm
Gregory: really?
Engel: yes it’s much like Madison Wisconsin
Gregory: doesn’t Libya prove Obama is a
bad President?
Engel: yes the rebels are already disappointed with Obama for not bombing harder or pushing for
a public option
Gregory: what is Qaddafi up to?
Engel: he is going to open up the armory to
anyone who wants a gun
Gregory: so just like Arizona
Gregory: will Qaddafi step down?
Engel: He is inviting anyone who wants to be a human shield to come live with him
Gregory: that does sound tempting
[ break ]
Gregory: Admiral are we at war with Libya?
Mullen: no - we engaging in a process of enforcing
a U.N. resolution with large explosive devices
Gregory: sounds like war to me
Mullen: it’s a focused no-fly zone and as of
today it’s working
Gregory: what happened yesterday?
Mullen: we successfully bombed the airports
Gregory: so are we done - can the troops come home now?
Mullen: no because Qaddafi is still violating international law
Gregory: killing civilians?
Mullen: Fashion crimes
Gregory: will Qaddafi attack America with balsa wood drones filled with mustard gas?
Mullen: General Ham is on the mustard situation
Gregory: what comes next?
Mullen: we will help civilians, then apply sanctions, takes sides in the civil war and finally declare ambiguous victory and go home
Gregory: what if it doesn’t work?
Mullen: but it is working Fluffy
Gregory: but what if it utterly fails?
Mullen: read the U.N. resolution - Qaddafi can stay unless he is voted out by the viewers
Gregory: is this in our vital interests?
Mullen: it’s vital that we provide naval support for the French efforts to prevent Libyan refugees from getting to Marseilles
Gregory: why go after Qaddafi but support the monarchy
in Bahrain?
Mullen: it’s true the Bahrain leader is a brutal killer but we have a lovely naval base there
Gregory: Didn’t Obama act too late?
Mullen: hey we got a UN resolution through
in record time
Gregory: how long will all this go on?
Mullen: I have no earthly idea
Gregory: what if Qaddafi flees the nation?
Mullen: the next government would be up to us and maybe the people of Libya
Gregory: just how many damm wars in the Middle East are we going to fight?
Mullen: Day One of this new war is going great -
we're going to get it right this time!
Gregory: is the U.S. going to take a back seat
in this war?
Mullen: yes thank god
Gregory: thanks for coming epaulets-man
[ break ]
Gregory: Senator Kerry did we really need
another war?
Kerry: this isn’t war - it’s more like a heavily
armed rescue squad
Levin: the air must be cleared of any threats including fighter jets, killer bees and angry birds
Gregory: I’m tweeting that
Levin: Obama used extreme caution and care before making a half-hearted non-decision
Gregory: how uncharacteristic of him
Sessions: this proves that John McCain was right
Gregory: can we really police the whole world?
Kerry: it’s not a police action - it’s people in uniform protecting civilians through enforcement of the law
Gregory: I see
Kerry: people were being slaughtered!
Gregory: what about the people being killed in Bahrain?
Kerry: in Bahrain the mischief has been managed
Levin: Hey Fluffy even the Arab world thinks
Qaddafi is crazy
Gregory: he’s politician what are you gonna do
Kerry: the Arab League and the Gulf states turned to us for help getting rid of a Middle East dictator - when the hell does that ever happen?!
Gregory: should Obama have consulted with Congress?
Sessions: I’m a Republican and even I don’t trust the fuckers on Capitol Hill
Gregory: hey I almost forgot there is a nuclear emergency in Japan
Levin: nuclear power isn’t all bad
Kerry: he’s right - after all a nuclear explosion
will kill thousands of people but we’ll all be killed by climate change
Gregory: how comforting
Gregory: Senator Sessions - isn’t Obama a
bad President?
Sessions: yes he is - we need to start drilling here in America for good old red white and blue oil
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is dealing with a lot of shit!
Mitchell: Questions are being raised
Gregory: what do you mean?
Mitchell: indeed people are saying
Gregory: it’s too little too late!
Haas: it’s too much too early!
Gregory: we agree!
Cooper: Obama and the Pentagon both don’t want
to be involved in Libya
Gregory: so of course we are
Miklaszewski: we’re in some deep shit
Hayden: we just took sides in a civil war
Mitchell: obviously Qaddafi has to go now
Gregory: cool
Mitchell: what kind of vacuum have we created?
Gregory: Dyson ball?
Miklaszewski: Dirt devil
Haass: I don’t mean to sound callous but civilians are massacred all the time - who the hell cares
Gregory: Hillary Clinton got Obama to attack Libya
Cooper: the old Clinton hands are trying to make up for not doing anything in Rwanda
Gregory: oh my
Cooper: the girls beat up the guys
Gregory: ha
Cooper: and then the Arab League got on board which was a bit of surprise
Mitchell: it was an amazing resolution passed through the Security Council
Gregory: what if a civil war breaks out in Libya
Haass: it has
Gregory: woot
Haass: I hope the Obama administration has a good feel for all the tribal politics of Libya
Gregory: oh I’m sure they do
Gregory: will we be greeted as liberators in Tripoli?
Miklaszewski: today the U.S. is attacking troops loyal to Qaddafi
Hayden: the French are afraid a bunch of Libyans will be sleeping on the streets of Paris
Cooper: it’s so inconsistent because we support democracy in Egypt but not in Washington D.C.
Haass: John Quincy Adams warned John McCain against doing stuff like this
Mitchell: Obama believes in coalitions and
he created one
Gregory: cool
Gregory: Obama was passive in Japan and is partying in Brazil
Miklaszewski: you think Obama is passive?
Gregory: and timid!
Miklaszewski: um Fluffy there are bombs being dropped on North Africa right now
Gregory: sure but he hasn’t nuked Japan
Miklaszewski: no comment
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
**************************************
Admiral Mike Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs of Staff
Sen. John Kerry - (D-MA)
Sen. Carl Levin - (D-MI)
Sen. Jeff Sessions - (R-AL)
Michael Hayden - Frm Dir. of CIA
Richard Haass - Council on Foreign Relations
Richard Engel - NBC
Jim Miklaszewski - NBC
Andrea Mitchell - NBC
Helene Cooper - NYT
**************************
Gregory: wow the allies have launched
Operation Odyssey Dawn!
Audience: isn’t that a Carnival cruise line?
Engel: for a nation with a psychotic leader dealing
with a civil war and under attack Libya is very calm
Gregory: really?
Engel: yes it’s much like Madison Wisconsin
Gregory: doesn’t Libya prove Obama is a
bad President?
Engel: yes the rebels are already disappointed with Obama for not bombing harder or pushing for
a public option
Gregory: what is Qaddafi up to?
Engel: he is going to open up the armory to
anyone who wants a gun
Gregory: so just like Arizona
Gregory: will Qaddafi step down?
Engel: He is inviting anyone who wants to be a human shield to come live with him
Gregory: that does sound tempting
[ break ]
Gregory: Admiral are we at war with Libya?
Mullen: no - we engaging in a process of enforcing
a U.N. resolution with large explosive devices
Gregory: sounds like war to me
Mullen: it’s a focused no-fly zone and as of
today it’s working
Gregory: what happened yesterday?
Mullen: we successfully bombed the airports
Gregory: so are we done - can the troops come home now?
Mullen: no because Qaddafi is still violating international law
Gregory: killing civilians?
Mullen: Fashion crimes
Gregory: will Qaddafi attack America with balsa wood drones filled with mustard gas?
Mullen: General Ham is on the mustard situation
Gregory: what comes next?
Mullen: we will help civilians, then apply sanctions, takes sides in the civil war and finally declare ambiguous victory and go home
Gregory: what if it doesn’t work?
Mullen: but it is working Fluffy
Gregory: but what if it utterly fails?
Mullen: read the U.N. resolution - Qaddafi can stay unless he is voted out by the viewers
Gregory: is this in our vital interests?
Mullen: it’s vital that we provide naval support for the French efforts to prevent Libyan refugees from getting to Marseilles
Gregory: why go after Qaddafi but support the monarchy
in Bahrain?
Mullen: it’s true the Bahrain leader is a brutal killer but we have a lovely naval base there
Gregory: Didn’t Obama act too late?
Mullen: hey we got a UN resolution through
in record time
Gregory: how long will all this go on?
Mullen: I have no earthly idea
Gregory: what if Qaddafi flees the nation?
Mullen: the next government would be up to us and maybe the people of Libya
Gregory: just how many damm wars in the Middle East are we going to fight?
Mullen: Day One of this new war is going great -
we're going to get it right this time!
Gregory: is the U.S. going to take a back seat
in this war?
Mullen: yes thank god
Gregory: thanks for coming epaulets-man
[ break ]
Gregory: Senator Kerry did we really need
another war?
Kerry: this isn’t war - it’s more like a heavily
armed rescue squad
Levin: the air must be cleared of any threats including fighter jets, killer bees and angry birds
Gregory: I’m tweeting that
Levin: Obama used extreme caution and care before making a half-hearted non-decision
Gregory: how uncharacteristic of him
Sessions: this proves that John McCain was right
Gregory: can we really police the whole world?
Kerry: it’s not a police action - it’s people in uniform protecting civilians through enforcement of the law
Gregory: I see
Kerry: people were being slaughtered!
Gregory: what about the people being killed in Bahrain?
Kerry: in Bahrain the mischief has been managed
Levin: Hey Fluffy even the Arab world thinks
Qaddafi is crazy
Gregory: he’s politician what are you gonna do
Kerry: the Arab League and the Gulf states turned to us for help getting rid of a Middle East dictator - when the hell does that ever happen?!
Gregory: should Obama have consulted with Congress?
Sessions: I’m a Republican and even I don’t trust the fuckers on Capitol Hill
Gregory: hey I almost forgot there is a nuclear emergency in Japan
Levin: nuclear power isn’t all bad
Kerry: he’s right - after all a nuclear explosion
will kill thousands of people but we’ll all be killed by climate change
Gregory: how comforting
Gregory: Senator Sessions - isn’t Obama a
bad President?
Sessions: yes he is - we need to start drilling here in America for good old red white and blue oil
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama is dealing with a lot of shit!
Mitchell: Questions are being raised
Gregory: what do you mean?
Mitchell: indeed people are saying
Gregory: it’s too little too late!
Haas: it’s too much too early!
Gregory: we agree!
Cooper: Obama and the Pentagon both don’t want
to be involved in Libya
Gregory: so of course we are
Miklaszewski: we’re in some deep shit
Hayden: we just took sides in a civil war
Mitchell: obviously Qaddafi has to go now
Gregory: cool
Mitchell: what kind of vacuum have we created?
Gregory: Dyson ball?
Miklaszewski: Dirt devil
Haass: I don’t mean to sound callous but civilians are massacred all the time - who the hell cares
Gregory: Hillary Clinton got Obama to attack Libya
Cooper: the old Clinton hands are trying to make up for not doing anything in Rwanda
Gregory: oh my
Cooper: the girls beat up the guys
Gregory: ha
Cooper: and then the Arab League got on board which was a bit of surprise
Mitchell: it was an amazing resolution passed through the Security Council
Gregory: what if a civil war breaks out in Libya
Haass: it has
Gregory: woot
Haass: I hope the Obama administration has a good feel for all the tribal politics of Libya
Gregory: oh I’m sure they do
Gregory: will we be greeted as liberators in Tripoli?
Miklaszewski: today the U.S. is attacking troops loyal to Qaddafi
Hayden: the French are afraid a bunch of Libyans will be sleeping on the streets of Paris
Cooper: it’s so inconsistent because we support democracy in Egypt but not in Washington D.C.
Haass: John Quincy Adams warned John McCain against doing stuff like this
Mitchell: Obama believes in coalitions and
he created one
Gregory: cool
Gregory: Obama was passive in Japan and is partying in Brazil
Miklaszewski: you think Obama is passive?
Gregory: and timid!
Miklaszewski: um Fluffy there are bombs being dropped on North Africa right now
Gregory: sure but he hasn’t nuked Japan
Miklaszewski: no comment
Gregory: and that’s Meet The Press
**************************************
This Week - March 20, 2011
March 20, 2011
Guests:
Saif Qaddafi
Admiral Mike Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs of Staff
Ali Aujali - Fmr Libya Ambassador to U.S.
Gerard Araud - French Amb. to the U.N.
Alex Marquadt - ABC
Martha Raddatz - ABC
Jake Tapper - ABC
******************************
Amanpour: wow a whole new Middle East war -
the old one was eight years old and we really
needed a new one of those!
Audience: yay
Amanpour: French, British and U.S. troops
are firing on Tripoli
Audience: Freedom fries!
Qaddafi: I am full of win
Saif: so I’m sitting in my house Saturday watching my TiVo of American Idol and then there are bombs falling all around - I mean what the fuck??
Amanpour: Obama sternly warned you
Saif: who pays attention ? I was watching Fringe - that show rocks
Amanpour: will Qaddafi quit?
Saif: now way - the rebels are all terrorists
Amanpour: will you starting bombing airlines again?
Saif: that’s uncalled for Christiane
Amanpour: what will you do now?
Saif: we urge America to start bombing the rebels
Amanpour: ok
Marquadt: the rebels are totally excited - Obama is using his Jedi mind tricks, the French smuggled in plans to the death star, and they are working with some adorable British Ewoks
Amanpour: what is the goal of these attacks?
Tapper: officially it’s to protect civilians - unofficially it’s to fuck with Qaddafi
Amanpour: who is running the show?
Tapper: the U.S. is not taking a lead role -
we just have 11 ships parked outside Tripoli
Amanpour: will the U.S. arm the rebels?
Tapper: we sent them two droids - that’s not enough?
Amanpour: How can America not run a war?
Raddatz: that is unusual - however an American named General Ham is in charge
Amanpour: Is that kosher?
Raddatz: British and French ace pilots are shooting at anything that moves
Amanpour: it’s like a gay bitchy Top Gun
Tapper: that’s redundant
Amanpour: Is the U.S. in charge or not?
Mullen: Ham is on top, followed by French
Amanpour: and the British?
Mullen: Col. Mustard will lead
Amanpour: this has all the ingredients of a successful operation
Amanpour: Does Qaddafi have to go
Mullen: the mission is very clear - it’s to
support the no-fly zone
Amanpour: so the mission is support
the war mission?
Mullen: right
Amanpour: it could last 12 years like in Iraq
Mullen: with any luck
Amanpour: why not protect civilians in other dangerous places like Bahrain, Yemen and Detroit?
Mullen: that’s different - the vicious dictator in Bahrain is a good friend of ours
Amanpour: Can Qaddafi attack America?
Mullen: We’ve taken out the air defenses, cut the supply lines, and blocked Qaddafi’s access to his Facebook page
Amanpour: holy shit
Amanpour: what if he uses mustard gas?
Mullen: a French squad from Dijon will handle it
Amanpour: you know Qaddafi well - what is he
really like?
Aujali: he’s crazy and will never ever stop fighting
Amanpour: so what happens next?
Aujali: the rebels must get on the road to Tripoli but they need exact change for all the tolls
Araud: zees man talks of zee reevers of blood -
ees desgusting
Amanpour: what do you think the mission
should be?
Aujali: if you want to protect civilians then you have to kill Qaddafi
Araud: ‘ee must go - ees ze madman!
Amanpour: will Libyans turn on Qaddafi?
Aujali: he’s locked himself in his compound with trapped followers - he’s like an incoherent Jim Jones
Amanpour: that sounds promising -
everyone thanks for coming
**********************************
Guests:
Saif Qaddafi
Admiral Mike Mullen - Chair Joint Chiefs of Staff
Ali Aujali - Fmr Libya Ambassador to U.S.
Gerard Araud - French Amb. to the U.N.
Alex Marquadt - ABC
Martha Raddatz - ABC
Jake Tapper - ABC
******************************
Amanpour: wow a whole new Middle East war -
the old one was eight years old and we really
needed a new one of those!
Audience: yay
Amanpour: French, British and U.S. troops
are firing on Tripoli
Audience: Freedom fries!
Qaddafi: I am full of win
Saif: so I’m sitting in my house Saturday watching my TiVo of American Idol and then there are bombs falling all around - I mean what the fuck??
Amanpour: Obama sternly warned you
Saif: who pays attention ? I was watching Fringe - that show rocks
Amanpour: will Qaddafi quit?
Saif: now way - the rebels are all terrorists
Amanpour: will you starting bombing airlines again?
Saif: that’s uncalled for Christiane
Amanpour: what will you do now?
Saif: we urge America to start bombing the rebels
Amanpour: ok
Marquadt: the rebels are totally excited - Obama is using his Jedi mind tricks, the French smuggled in plans to the death star, and they are working with some adorable British Ewoks
Amanpour: what is the goal of these attacks?
Tapper: officially it’s to protect civilians - unofficially it’s to fuck with Qaddafi
Amanpour: who is running the show?
Tapper: the U.S. is not taking a lead role -
we just have 11 ships parked outside Tripoli
Amanpour: will the U.S. arm the rebels?
Tapper: we sent them two droids - that’s not enough?
Amanpour: How can America not run a war?
Raddatz: that is unusual - however an American named General Ham is in charge
Amanpour: Is that kosher?
Raddatz: British and French ace pilots are shooting at anything that moves
Amanpour: it’s like a gay bitchy Top Gun
Tapper: that’s redundant
Amanpour: Is the U.S. in charge or not?
Mullen: Ham is on top, followed by French
Amanpour: and the British?
Mullen: Col. Mustard will lead
Amanpour: this has all the ingredients of a successful operation
Amanpour: Does Qaddafi have to go
Mullen: the mission is very clear - it’s to
support the no-fly zone
Amanpour: so the mission is support
the war mission?
Mullen: right
Amanpour: it could last 12 years like in Iraq
Mullen: with any luck
Amanpour: why not protect civilians in other dangerous places like Bahrain, Yemen and Detroit?
Mullen: that’s different - the vicious dictator in Bahrain is a good friend of ours
Amanpour: Can Qaddafi attack America?
Mullen: We’ve taken out the air defenses, cut the supply lines, and blocked Qaddafi’s access to his Facebook page
Amanpour: holy shit
Amanpour: what if he uses mustard gas?
Mullen: a French squad from Dijon will handle it
Amanpour: you know Qaddafi well - what is he
really like?
Aujali: he’s crazy and will never ever stop fighting
Amanpour: so what happens next?
Aujali: the rebels must get on the road to Tripoli but they need exact change for all the tolls
Araud: zees man talks of zee reevers of blood -
ees desgusting
Amanpour: what do you think the mission
should be?
Aujali: if you want to protect civilians then you have to kill Qaddafi
Araud: ‘ee must go - ees ze madman!
Amanpour: will Libyans turn on Qaddafi?
Aujali: he’s locked himself in his compound with trapped followers - he’s like an incoherent Jim Jones
Amanpour: that sounds promising -
everyone thanks for coming
**********************************
Sunday, March 13, 2011
March 13, 2011
Host: Chuck Todd
Guests:
Lester Holt
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Marvin Fertel - President Nuclear Energy Institute
Ichiro Fujisaki - Ambassador to the U.S. from Japan
*************************************************
Todd: wow in Japan thousands are dead and a nuclear reactor may be in meltdown
Lester Holt: we’re dealing with an earthquake, tsunami, recovery, rescue and radioactivity
Audience: holy crap
Holt: people are instructed to block out the radiation by putting a wet cloth over their mouths
Audience: problem solved then
Todd: this is the worst crisis since that unpleasantness from 1940-1945
Fujisaki: that’s right
Todd: I hear rescue efforts are hard
Fujisaki: we’re in full mobilization
Todd: what can the US do?
Fujisaki: you’re already sent Ronald Reagan
and that’s enough
Todd: is the plant really in meltdown?
Fujisaki: oh no not at all - we’re pouring sea water
to give it a good cleaning
Todd: is that a desperation move?
Fujisaki: one fuel rod may be getting a little hot
Todd: just one?
Fujisaki: who can say - that thing is really fucking hot
Todd: it sounds dangerous
Fujisaki: well we’re evacuating everyone we can
[ break ]
Todd: Marvin you represent the nuclear industry -
do you guys plan on killing us all?
Fertel: yeah we're sorry about all this Japan
Todd: so what went wrong?
Fertel: our working theory right now is that some really bad shit happened
Todd: Is the plant in meltdown?
Fertel: well Three Mile Island had a meltdown and everything went just fine
Todd: it was one hour away from making rural Pennsylvania completely uninhabitable
Fertel: so nothing different then
Todd: Could a meltdown happen in the U.S.?
Fertel: yes but nuclear plants in the US are
perfectly safe
Todd: is the plant in Japan totally screwed?
Fertel: if necessary we stand ready to send help an army of lobbyists and experts in public relations
Todd: truly your charitable efforts know no ends
[ break ]
Todd: Senator you were a big fan of nuclear power
Schumer: we need nuclear power - look at disaster
in Libya!
Todd: Congress passed a 3-week budget
Schumer: we reached that major breakthrough
when we left abortion out of the budget
Todd: your pal Claire McCaskill says we need massive spending cuts
Schumer: true but the GOP wants to cut cancer research for god’s sake
Todd: will you make cuts
Schumer: we’re willing to cut but we need to spend to grow the economy
Todd: are we just going to keeping running the government 3 weeks at a time?
Schumer: did you know the GOP wants to cut tsunami warnings?
Todd: well when do those ever happen
Schumer: good point
Todd: Is Obama involved enough in the process
Schumer: hell yeah - you know it’s Congress’ job to pass a budget
Todd: do you support a no-fly zone over Libya?
Schumer: let all the world’s major powers get on board -- including the U.S., the European Union,
the Arab League, NATO and Steve Jobs
Todd: Should Obama get input from Congress before intervening in the Libyan war?
Schumer: the idiots who can’t even fund the government for 30 days - no
[ break ]
Todd: Mitch when you were America’s budget director you warned against playing games with government shutdown
Daniels: true
Todd: so are Republicans in D.C. wrong?
Daniels: yes but in their defense they’re morons
Todd: what would you do?
Daniels: the entire American Republic is threatened and they are arguing over nickels and dimes
Todd: you said the debt ceiling was a
housekeeping matter
Daniels: that was before Obama was President - now it’s appropriate to use the debt ceiling for blackmail
Todd: you never even paid for 2 wars or massive prescription drug coverage
Daniels: if we had paid for those things it would have hurt the economy
Todd: how is it conservative to buy a big luxury item and never pay for it?
Daniels: Obama!
Todd: You paid down Indiana’s debt and promptly lost thousands of jobs
Daniels: that was Obama’s fault
Todd: maybe so Mitch but you’re not getting results
Daniels: the role of government is give concessions to businesses and hope for the best
Todd: you implied Gov. Walker misled voters on union busting
Daniels: I’ve met him and he is a serious dipshit
Todd: I've noticed that
Todd: do you support collective bargaining?
Daniels: yes but not for government employees
Todd: you called for truce on god guns and gays
Santorum: the purpose of American is to compare gays to bestiality
Daniels: there’s another brainless weasel
Todd: good call on that one Mitch
Daniels: I mean what’s wrong with a little freedom and liberty?
Todd: Did you lie when said you would never run for another office?
Daniels: no but gosh darn it people keep pushing me to run for President and save America
Todd: you said the GOP field sucks
Daniels: who else has my combination of name recognition and charisma?
Todd: who indeed
Todd: what about Sen. Lugar - will you do whatever he asks you to do?
Daniels: I never say no to dick
[ break ]
Balz: Mitch Daniels is a budget plan in search of
a human host
Todd: Team Obama believes you gotta get in the Presidential race early especially if your middle name is Hussein
Norris: that’s right - they laid the groundwork in the summer of 2007
Todd: Gingrich explained to a Christian tv network that he betrayed his marriage vows because he loves America too much
Balz: best interview since Charlie Sheen
Todd: future President Michelle Bachman thinks the American Revolution started in New Hampshire
Norris: the tea party loves her because she is not some snooty egghead
Todd: what about Mr. Fabulous
Balz: Mitt Romney is slick but untrustworthy
Todd: why should NPR get tax money when you clearly hate racists who after all are Americans too
Norris: because without NPR people millions
of Americans would have not have access to real news at all
Todd: but most people get MSNBC, Fox news and CNN for free
Norris: that’s my point Chuckles
Todd: David Broder was on Meet The Press 401 times
Audience: holy crap
Broder: Ross is it possible for you to give me a straight answer
Perot: hey old man I would have brought my
pie charts if you had given me your questions in advance
Broder: do you know what percentage of people don’t have health insurance?
George H.W. Bush: I have no idea - everyone I know does
Broder: really they all do?
Bush: well no some of them just write a check
Broder: Barbara Bush never forgave me for asking Poppy a question about the unwashed masses
Todd: and that’s Meet the Press
************************************
Host: Chuck Todd
Guests:
Lester Holt
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)
Gov. Mitch Daniels (R-IN)
Marvin Fertel - President Nuclear Energy Institute
Ichiro Fujisaki - Ambassador to the U.S. from Japan
*************************************************
Todd: wow in Japan thousands are dead and a nuclear reactor may be in meltdown
Lester Holt: we’re dealing with an earthquake, tsunami, recovery, rescue and radioactivity
Audience: holy crap
Holt: people are instructed to block out the radiation by putting a wet cloth over their mouths
Audience: problem solved then
Todd: this is the worst crisis since that unpleasantness from 1940-1945
Fujisaki: that’s right
Todd: I hear rescue efforts are hard
Fujisaki: we’re in full mobilization
Todd: what can the US do?
Fujisaki: you’re already sent Ronald Reagan
and that’s enough
Todd: is the plant really in meltdown?
Fujisaki: oh no not at all - we’re pouring sea water
to give it a good cleaning
Todd: is that a desperation move?
Fujisaki: one fuel rod may be getting a little hot
Todd: just one?
Fujisaki: who can say - that thing is really fucking hot
Todd: it sounds dangerous
Fujisaki: well we’re evacuating everyone we can
[ break ]
Todd: Marvin you represent the nuclear industry -
do you guys plan on killing us all?
Fertel: yeah we're sorry about all this Japan
Todd: so what went wrong?
Fertel: our working theory right now is that some really bad shit happened
Todd: Is the plant in meltdown?
Fertel: well Three Mile Island had a meltdown and everything went just fine
Todd: it was one hour away from making rural Pennsylvania completely uninhabitable
Fertel: so nothing different then
Todd: Could a meltdown happen in the U.S.?
Fertel: yes but nuclear plants in the US are
perfectly safe
Todd: is the plant in Japan totally screwed?
Fertel: if necessary we stand ready to send help an army of lobbyists and experts in public relations
Todd: truly your charitable efforts know no ends
[ break ]
Todd: Senator you were a big fan of nuclear power
Schumer: we need nuclear power - look at disaster
in Libya!
Todd: Congress passed a 3-week budget
Schumer: we reached that major breakthrough
when we left abortion out of the budget
Todd: your pal Claire McCaskill says we need massive spending cuts
Schumer: true but the GOP wants to cut cancer research for god’s sake
Todd: will you make cuts
Schumer: we’re willing to cut but we need to spend to grow the economy
Todd: are we just going to keeping running the government 3 weeks at a time?
Schumer: did you know the GOP wants to cut tsunami warnings?
Todd: well when do those ever happen
Schumer: good point
Todd: Is Obama involved enough in the process
Schumer: hell yeah - you know it’s Congress’ job to pass a budget
Todd: do you support a no-fly zone over Libya?
Schumer: let all the world’s major powers get on board -- including the U.S., the European Union,
the Arab League, NATO and Steve Jobs
Todd: Should Obama get input from Congress before intervening in the Libyan war?
Schumer: the idiots who can’t even fund the government for 30 days - no
[ break ]
Todd: Mitch when you were America’s budget director you warned against playing games with government shutdown
Daniels: true
Todd: so are Republicans in D.C. wrong?
Daniels: yes but in their defense they’re morons
Todd: what would you do?
Daniels: the entire American Republic is threatened and they are arguing over nickels and dimes
Todd: you said the debt ceiling was a
housekeeping matter
Daniels: that was before Obama was President - now it’s appropriate to use the debt ceiling for blackmail
Todd: you never even paid for 2 wars or massive prescription drug coverage
Daniels: if we had paid for those things it would have hurt the economy
Todd: how is it conservative to buy a big luxury item and never pay for it?
Daniels: Obama!
Todd: You paid down Indiana’s debt and promptly lost thousands of jobs
Daniels: that was Obama’s fault
Todd: maybe so Mitch but you’re not getting results
Daniels: the role of government is give concessions to businesses and hope for the best
Todd: you implied Gov. Walker misled voters on union busting
Daniels: I’ve met him and he is a serious dipshit
Todd: I've noticed that
Todd: do you support collective bargaining?
Daniels: yes but not for government employees
Todd: you called for truce on god guns and gays
Santorum: the purpose of American is to compare gays to bestiality
Daniels: there’s another brainless weasel
Todd: good call on that one Mitch
Daniels: I mean what’s wrong with a little freedom and liberty?
Todd: Did you lie when said you would never run for another office?
Daniels: no but gosh darn it people keep pushing me to run for President and save America
Todd: you said the GOP field sucks
Daniels: who else has my combination of name recognition and charisma?
Todd: who indeed
Todd: what about Sen. Lugar - will you do whatever he asks you to do?
Daniels: I never say no to dick
[ break ]
Balz: Mitch Daniels is a budget plan in search of
a human host
Todd: Team Obama believes you gotta get in the Presidential race early especially if your middle name is Hussein
Norris: that’s right - they laid the groundwork in the summer of 2007
Todd: Gingrich explained to a Christian tv network that he betrayed his marriage vows because he loves America too much
Balz: best interview since Charlie Sheen
Todd: future President Michelle Bachman thinks the American Revolution started in New Hampshire
Norris: the tea party loves her because she is not some snooty egghead
Todd: what about Mr. Fabulous
Balz: Mitt Romney is slick but untrustworthy
Todd: why should NPR get tax money when you clearly hate racists who after all are Americans too
Norris: because without NPR people millions
of Americans would have not have access to real news at all
Todd: but most people get MSNBC, Fox news and CNN for free
Norris: that’s my point Chuckles
Todd: David Broder was on Meet The Press 401 times
Audience: holy crap
Broder: Ross is it possible for you to give me a straight answer
Perot: hey old man I would have brought my
pie charts if you had given me your questions in advance
Broder: do you know what percentage of people don’t have health insurance?
George H.W. Bush: I have no idea - everyone I know does
Broder: really they all do?
Bush: well no some of them just write a check
Broder: Barbara Bush never forgave me for asking Poppy a question about the unwashed masses
Todd: and that’s Meet the Press
************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - March 13, 2011
March 13, 2011
Guests:
Jaker Tapper
Martha Raddatz
Joseph Cirincione - President Ploughshares Fund
**********************************************
Amanpour: I’m in Tokyo as Japan deals with earthquakes, tsunami, floods, explosions and
oh yeah a nuclear meltdown
Audience: yikes
Amanpour: there could be 10,000 people dead in Sendai and the country needed those nuclear
plants for electricity
Audience: cripes
Amanpour: the trains are running again in Japan 3 days later
Republicans: Commies
Amanpour: the coastline areas have been devastated and rescue workers are returning from New Zealand to look for survivors
Audience: oh my
Amanpour: the government said the radiation
leak is safe
Audience: well okay then
Amanpour: the Germans have brought their own personal Geiger counters
Audience: there’s no app for that?
Amanpour: the government says there could another earthquake and of course a tsunami
Muir: there is no water in this devastated town
but there is a 7-11 open
Audience: those hot dogs can survive anything
Kaku: all the backup plans to stop a nuclear meltdown failed so now they’re pumping seawater directly into the core and 200,000 people are
being evacuated
Audience: holy crap it’s like a michael bay movie
Expert: Japan is now dealing with 5 nuclear emergencies
Woodruff: Three Mile Island and Chernobyl got people thinking maybe nuclear power is not all that safe
Amanpour: Is America going to be threatened by a giant Japanese radioactive cloud?
Tapper: no but you can never be too paranoid Christiane
Amanpour: is there something the government
isn’t telling us?
Raddatz: Japanese officials may have spotted Mothra off the coast
Amanpour: how could all the backup systems fail?
Cirincione: well they lost power so now the pumps are running on AA batteries
Audience: oh ok
Amanpour: could this disaster happen here?
Tapper: yes but if it did America would turn to
Japan for help
Audience: gulp
Amanpour: could this affect our need to build nuclear power plants here?
Raddatz: um yeah I think so
*********************************
Guests:
Jaker Tapper
Martha Raddatz
Joseph Cirincione - President Ploughshares Fund
**********************************************
Amanpour: I’m in Tokyo as Japan deals with earthquakes, tsunami, floods, explosions and
oh yeah a nuclear meltdown
Audience: yikes
Amanpour: there could be 10,000 people dead in Sendai and the country needed those nuclear
plants for electricity
Audience: cripes
Amanpour: the trains are running again in Japan 3 days later
Republicans: Commies
Amanpour: the coastline areas have been devastated and rescue workers are returning from New Zealand to look for survivors
Audience: oh my
Amanpour: the government said the radiation
leak is safe
Audience: well okay then
Amanpour: the Germans have brought their own personal Geiger counters
Audience: there’s no app for that?
Amanpour: the government says there could another earthquake and of course a tsunami
Muir: there is no water in this devastated town
but there is a 7-11 open
Audience: those hot dogs can survive anything
Kaku: all the backup plans to stop a nuclear meltdown failed so now they’re pumping seawater directly into the core and 200,000 people are
being evacuated
Audience: holy crap it’s like a michael bay movie
Expert: Japan is now dealing with 5 nuclear emergencies
Woodruff: Three Mile Island and Chernobyl got people thinking maybe nuclear power is not all that safe
Amanpour: Is America going to be threatened by a giant Japanese radioactive cloud?
Tapper: no but you can never be too paranoid Christiane
Amanpour: is there something the government
isn’t telling us?
Raddatz: Japanese officials may have spotted Mothra off the coast
Amanpour: how could all the backup systems fail?
Cirincione: well they lost power so now the pumps are running on AA batteries
Audience: oh ok
Amanpour: could this disaster happen here?
Tapper: yes but if it did America would turn to
Japan for help
Audience: gulp
Amanpour: could this affect our need to build nuclear power plants here?
Raddatz: um yeah I think so
*********************************
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Meet The Press - March 6, 2011
Guests:
Bill Daley - White House Chief of Staff
Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-WI)
David Brooks
Eugene Robinson
*********************************
Gregory: Unemployment is under 9%
but the gas is still too damm high!
Audience: hells yeah!
Gregory: We have Chief of Staff Bill Daley who
brings his JP Morgan savvy and familial birthright wisdom to our show
Daley: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: gas is expensive - what the fuck!
Daley: that is true
Gregory: there is a glut of oil
Daley: do you know what glut means
Gregory: no
Daley: the average American is feeling it
Gregory: it’s on!
Daley: Obama has a solution to our energy
crisis in two words
Gregory: wow - what are they?
Daley: tiger blood
Gregory: can we arrest the Spike?
Daley: I don’t think you can arrest a network for showing repeatedly airing Star Wars:
The Phantom Menace
Gregory: well that is a shame
Gregory: Can we rid of Ghadaffi?
Daley: Obama was very aggressive -
he’s a fucking POTUS on ‘roids!
Gregory: but Muammar still there
Daley: we’re working with the international
community to stop him
Gregory: it sounds like the administration is divided
- Gates doesn’t want to attack Libya and
neither does Obama
Daley: so not divided at all then
Gregory: well you put it that way
Daley: do you even speak English bubble boy?
Gregory: what?
Daley: English motherfucker do you speak it?
Gregory: it still seems opaque to me
Daley: get a load of the big brain on Fluffy!
Gregory: Does the President understand the
Middle East as well I do?
Daley: Obama has more original thoughts before breakfast than you do all damm day
Gregory: when you talk to John McCain all the time you start to feel brilliant by comparison
Daley: Look Obama just wants a democratic regime not supported by armed crazy people
Gregory: why does Obama hate Arizona?
Daley: chortle
Gregory: so we’re still killing innocent civilians
in Afghanistan
Daley: we all feel very about that
Gregory: it sound like a bit of problem
Daley: no one feels worse that the people
doing the killing and also to a lesser extent the people being killed
Gregory: the American people were polled and they care about unemployment not the debt
Daley: right so Obama is focused on cutting spending and the deficit
Gregory: you’re going to shut the government down because both sides use fuzzy math
Daley: not true
Gregory: that is true and you know it
Daley: we have a solution to our impasse with Congress
Gregory: what’s that
Daley: send Joe Biden to Capitol Hill until
they give in
Gregory: Is Boehner helpless in the face of tea party demands
Daley: clearly he is weak and stupid
Gregory: I will be speaking to Michelle Bachmann later
Daley: oh that should be loads of fun
Gregory: Boehner is determined to cut Social Security so will Obama please cut it please
Daley: I heard your were a Social Security-cut-demanding-moron
Gregory: You’re all demagogues and refuse to cut Social Security like I want
Daley: you’re a silly person
Gregory: and you’re a crook worked for JP Morgan
Daley: touché
Gregory: Hollywood thinks maybe one white collar criminal should have gone to jail in the biggest
fraud of all time
Daley: that may very well be but
let’s not rush it
Gregory: you make a good deal of sense privileged bald white man
Daley: Obama fought the crooks and got the financial reform law enacted
Gregory: How do you know?
Daley: I was one of them Greggers!
Gregory: Is Obama moving to the center to get re-elected?
Daley: Obama didn’t want to take over the auto industry but as usual the gifted black man had to clean up the white man’s mess
Gregory: is this a center-left country?
Daley: It’s truly a land of opportunity where the son of a famous mayor can grow up to work on Wall Street and pontificate on whether the son of Governor can grow up to be President
Gregory: Let’s continue my endlessly silly obsession with Ambassador Huntsman
Daley: Idiot
Gregory: speaking of Mr. Fabulous
Daley: who?
Gregory: Mitt Romeny
Daley: LOL
Gregory: what number should unemployment be
for Obama to be re-elected?
Daley: jesus I thought I was a shallow person
until I met you
Gregory: thanks
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome Michelle Bachmann - will there be a government shutdown
Bachmann: Obama hid 100 billion in the
Obamacare law!!
Gregory: where was it hidden?
Bachmann: in the law!
Gregory: the one Congress read and passed?
Bachmann: Exactly!
Gregory: Didn’t Obama make a big concession
on letting the states opt-out of elements of the
health care reform law?
Bachmann: that proves he’s a Fasicst-Marxist-Socialist!
Gregory: I see
Bachmann: It’s a crime against democracy!
Gregory: ok ok - so will shut the government down?
Bachmann: Nancy Pelosi stole $100 billion - you can’t slip that in secretly in legislation that Congress never reads but enacts
Gregory: about the upcoming budget-
Bachmann: Members of Congress didn’t read the bill until we enacted it - I want that money back!!
Gregory: thanks for sharing that bit of insanity
Bachmann: Thieves! Socialists! Commies!
Gregory: has John Boehner betrayed the Tea Party?
Bachmann: Obama stole $100 billion!
Gregory: so are literally insane or how does it work?
Bachmann: Obama deceptively stole $100 billion!
Gregory: um, Betsy are her doctors in the
green room?
Producer: they ran away David
Gregory: jesus christ
Bachmann: $100 billion $100 billion $100 billion
Gregory: will the Tea Party destroy the GOP?
Bachmann: Democrats are terrified of the tea party because we’re not Republicans
Gregory: ok
Bachmann: we just want all the branches of government to service white weirdos
Gregory: right
Bachmann: America is doomed!
Gregory: why is that?
Bachmann: America is in grave danger because of the debt that Reagan, Bush I, and Bush II did not build up at all
Gregory: What about Obama’s foreign policy?
Bachmann: he’s weak because we haven’t
attacked Libya
Gregory: so you want to invade Libya
Bachmann: no Obama is irresponsible for even considering that
Gregory: Do you think a lunatic like you can be elected President
Bachmann: Look at lack of job creation and out
of control spending
Gregory: you’re running against George W. Bush?
Bachmann: Obama doesn’t have true
American values
Gregory: you call him a gangster government
Bachmann: absolutely
Gregory: is he anti-American?
Bachmann: well he’s got a real funny name
Gregory: thanks for sharing your inane rantings Congresswoman
Bachmann: arble warble woooooo
[ break ]
Gregory: Polls show that people still believe in
big government
Brooks: this proves that people want small government
Gregory: How can you can I explain to the American people that we must cut Social Security
Brooks: we must use pie charts and sternly lecture the American people
Gregory: but Obama won’t Social Security!
Brooks: yes but he looks weak because he refuses to cut Social Security
Robinson: I can’t help notice the poll you used cited concerns about job creation and government and not cuts and the debt
Gregory: that’s so sad
Brooks: we need to transfer money from the
old to the young
Gregory: we’re in an opaque zone with Ghadaffi
Robinson: do we want American boots on the ground?
Gregory: maybe just the boots without any soldiers in them
Brooks: good idea
Gregory: we’re hypocrites with regard to Sunni dictatorships!
Brooks: we need to attack every dictator in the middle east
Gregory: really?
Brooks: we must remove Ghadaffi
Robinson: you think the Saudis would like that?
Brooks: We should at least talk tough even if we don’t actually do anything
Gregory: David do you have any criticisms of Obama?
Brooks: he talks tough but doesn’t actually do anything
Gregory: Obama beats unnamed GOP candidate
in 2012!
Brooks: Mitch Daniels is my dream candidate
Robinson: dear god
Brooks: also Chris Christie
Robinson: *snort*
Gregory: so which GOP candidate do you like Eugene?
Robinson: um no one
Gregory: is Romneycare an albatross?
Romney: no no no my version of Obamacare was a state mandatory health care plan so it was totally different - I would never impose my good ideas on other American people
Brooks: ok that’s just stupid
Gregory: can he talk about jobs instead?
Brooks: no because the cost of health care will still be an issue in 11 months
Gregory: how can Obama possibly hope to defeat Michelle Bachmann?
Robinson: he has to say when you have a coherent thought I’d love to hear it
Gregory: that just might work
***********************************
Bill Daley - White House Chief of Staff
Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-WI)
David Brooks
Eugene Robinson
*********************************
Gregory: Unemployment is under 9%
but the gas is still too damm high!
Audience: hells yeah!
Gregory: We have Chief of Staff Bill Daley who
brings his JP Morgan savvy and familial birthright wisdom to our show
Daley: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: gas is expensive - what the fuck!
Daley: that is true
Gregory: there is a glut of oil
Daley: do you know what glut means
Gregory: no
Daley: the average American is feeling it
Gregory: it’s on!
Daley: Obama has a solution to our energy
crisis in two words
Gregory: wow - what are they?
Daley: tiger blood
Gregory: can we arrest the Spike?
Daley: I don’t think you can arrest a network for showing repeatedly airing Star Wars:
The Phantom Menace
Gregory: well that is a shame
Gregory: Can we rid of Ghadaffi?
Daley: Obama was very aggressive -
he’s a fucking POTUS on ‘roids!
Gregory: but Muammar still there
Daley: we’re working with the international
community to stop him
Gregory: it sounds like the administration is divided
- Gates doesn’t want to attack Libya and
neither does Obama
Daley: so not divided at all then
Gregory: well you put it that way
Daley: do you even speak English bubble boy?
Gregory: what?
Daley: English motherfucker do you speak it?
Gregory: it still seems opaque to me
Daley: get a load of the big brain on Fluffy!
Gregory: Does the President understand the
Middle East as well I do?
Daley: Obama has more original thoughts before breakfast than you do all damm day
Gregory: when you talk to John McCain all the time you start to feel brilliant by comparison
Daley: Look Obama just wants a democratic regime not supported by armed crazy people
Gregory: why does Obama hate Arizona?
Daley: chortle
Gregory: so we’re still killing innocent civilians
in Afghanistan
Daley: we all feel very about that
Gregory: it sound like a bit of problem
Daley: no one feels worse that the people
doing the killing and also to a lesser extent the people being killed
Gregory: the American people were polled and they care about unemployment not the debt
Daley: right so Obama is focused on cutting spending and the deficit
Gregory: you’re going to shut the government down because both sides use fuzzy math
Daley: not true
Gregory: that is true and you know it
Daley: we have a solution to our impasse with Congress
Gregory: what’s that
Daley: send Joe Biden to Capitol Hill until
they give in
Gregory: Is Boehner helpless in the face of tea party demands
Daley: clearly he is weak and stupid
Gregory: I will be speaking to Michelle Bachmann later
Daley: oh that should be loads of fun
Gregory: Boehner is determined to cut Social Security so will Obama please cut it please
Daley: I heard your were a Social Security-cut-demanding-moron
Gregory: You’re all demagogues and refuse to cut Social Security like I want
Daley: you’re a silly person
Gregory: and you’re a crook worked for JP Morgan
Daley: touché
Gregory: Hollywood thinks maybe one white collar criminal should have gone to jail in the biggest
fraud of all time
Daley: that may very well be but
let’s not rush it
Gregory: you make a good deal of sense privileged bald white man
Daley: Obama fought the crooks and got the financial reform law enacted
Gregory: How do you know?
Daley: I was one of them Greggers!
Gregory: Is Obama moving to the center to get re-elected?
Daley: Obama didn’t want to take over the auto industry but as usual the gifted black man had to clean up the white man’s mess
Gregory: is this a center-left country?
Daley: It’s truly a land of opportunity where the son of a famous mayor can grow up to work on Wall Street and pontificate on whether the son of Governor can grow up to be President
Gregory: Let’s continue my endlessly silly obsession with Ambassador Huntsman
Daley: Idiot
Gregory: speaking of Mr. Fabulous
Daley: who?
Gregory: Mitt Romeny
Daley: LOL
Gregory: what number should unemployment be
for Obama to be re-elected?
Daley: jesus I thought I was a shallow person
until I met you
Gregory: thanks
[ break ]
Gregory: Welcome Michelle Bachmann - will there be a government shutdown
Bachmann: Obama hid 100 billion in the
Obamacare law!!
Gregory: where was it hidden?
Bachmann: in the law!
Gregory: the one Congress read and passed?
Bachmann: Exactly!
Gregory: Didn’t Obama make a big concession
on letting the states opt-out of elements of the
health care reform law?
Bachmann: that proves he’s a Fasicst-Marxist-Socialist!
Gregory: I see
Bachmann: It’s a crime against democracy!
Gregory: ok ok - so will shut the government down?
Bachmann: Nancy Pelosi stole $100 billion - you can’t slip that in secretly in legislation that Congress never reads but enacts
Gregory: about the upcoming budget-
Bachmann: Members of Congress didn’t read the bill until we enacted it - I want that money back!!
Gregory: thanks for sharing that bit of insanity
Bachmann: Thieves! Socialists! Commies!
Gregory: has John Boehner betrayed the Tea Party?
Bachmann: Obama stole $100 billion!
Gregory: so are literally insane or how does it work?
Bachmann: Obama deceptively stole $100 billion!
Gregory: um, Betsy are her doctors in the
green room?
Producer: they ran away David
Gregory: jesus christ
Bachmann: $100 billion $100 billion $100 billion
Gregory: will the Tea Party destroy the GOP?
Bachmann: Democrats are terrified of the tea party because we’re not Republicans
Gregory: ok
Bachmann: we just want all the branches of government to service white weirdos
Gregory: right
Bachmann: America is doomed!
Gregory: why is that?
Bachmann: America is in grave danger because of the debt that Reagan, Bush I, and Bush II did not build up at all
Gregory: What about Obama’s foreign policy?
Bachmann: he’s weak because we haven’t
attacked Libya
Gregory: so you want to invade Libya
Bachmann: no Obama is irresponsible for even considering that
Gregory: Do you think a lunatic like you can be elected President
Bachmann: Look at lack of job creation and out
of control spending
Gregory: you’re running against George W. Bush?
Bachmann: Obama doesn’t have true
American values
Gregory: you call him a gangster government
Bachmann: absolutely
Gregory: is he anti-American?
Bachmann: well he’s got a real funny name
Gregory: thanks for sharing your inane rantings Congresswoman
Bachmann: arble warble woooooo
[ break ]
Gregory: Polls show that people still believe in
big government
Brooks: this proves that people want small government
Gregory: How can you can I explain to the American people that we must cut Social Security
Brooks: we must use pie charts and sternly lecture the American people
Gregory: but Obama won’t Social Security!
Brooks: yes but he looks weak because he refuses to cut Social Security
Robinson: I can’t help notice the poll you used cited concerns about job creation and government and not cuts and the debt
Gregory: that’s so sad
Brooks: we need to transfer money from the
old to the young
Gregory: we’re in an opaque zone with Ghadaffi
Robinson: do we want American boots on the ground?
Gregory: maybe just the boots without any soldiers in them
Brooks: good idea
Gregory: we’re hypocrites with regard to Sunni dictatorships!
Brooks: we need to attack every dictator in the middle east
Gregory: really?
Brooks: we must remove Ghadaffi
Robinson: you think the Saudis would like that?
Brooks: We should at least talk tough even if we don’t actually do anything
Gregory: David do you have any criticisms of Obama?
Brooks: he talks tough but doesn’t actually do anything
Gregory: Obama beats unnamed GOP candidate
in 2012!
Brooks: Mitch Daniels is my dream candidate
Robinson: dear god
Brooks: also Chris Christie
Robinson: *snort*
Gregory: so which GOP candidate do you like Eugene?
Robinson: um no one
Gregory: is Romneycare an albatross?
Romney: no no no my version of Obamacare was a state mandatory health care plan so it was totally different - I would never impose my good ideas on other American people
Brooks: ok that’s just stupid
Gregory: can he talk about jobs instead?
Brooks: no because the cost of health care will still be an issue in 11 months
Gregory: how can Obama possibly hope to defeat Michelle Bachmann?
Robinson: he has to say when you have a coherent thought I’d love to hear it
Gregory: that just might work
***********************************
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Meet The Press - February 27, 2011
Guests:
Gov. Scott Walker - (R-WI)
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Gov. Haley Barbour - (R-MS)
Rep. Emanuel Cleaver - (D-MO)
Richard Trumka - President AFL-CIO
Lawrence O’Donnell - MSNBC
Kim Strassel - Wall Street Journal
**********************************
Gregory: Wow Scott Walker had to break unions to
balance the budget!
Walker: damm right I did Fluffy
Gregory: I heard the unions are willing to give
you what you want to balance the budget
Walker: sure but then they objected to their
not existing and I can’t have that
Gregory: so why not take yes for an answer?
Walker: yes but there are a thousand towns across the state and there are unions hiding everywhere
Gregory: really
Walker: right - so we must crush collective bargaining which will take money from our grandchildren
Gregory: what exactly is wrong with
collective bargaining?
Walker: because Barack Obama is bad guy
Gregory: I see
Walker: I tried a 35 hour work week and the
unions said no which meant I had to lay off thousands of people
Gregory: but cops and firefighters are exempt
Walker: look I can’t cross the cops -
did you know they carry guns!?
Gregory: so austerity for everyone but unions who endorsed you
Walker: we can’t afford to piss these unions off -
they do important jobs
Gregory: teachers aren’t important?
Walker: right
Gregory: are you trying to change the course
of history?
Walker: yes
Gregory: so why exempt unions who
supported you?
Walker: I’m trying to change the course of
the history of the Democratic party into
not existing anymore
Gregory: I see
Walker: I make no apologies for standing on principle against unions that don’t endorse me
Gregory: right
Walker: we need to tell the truth - endorse me
or you hate grandchildren
Gregory: are you an ideologue?
Walker: Wisconsin is open for business -
people are ordering pizzas from here from
all over America!
Gregory: how does this end?
Walker: hopefully we crush the basis for financial support for
the Democratic party
Gregory: you said you considered planting troublemakers in the liberal crowd
Walker: yes but I will not allow outsiders to cause violence whether its liberals or me
Gregory: I want to talk about what comes next for the insane leader surrounded by on all sides by hostile forces
Walker: I’m holding up well David
Gregory: I was talking about Gaddafi
Walker: oh right
McCain: We need to enforce a no-fly zone
over Libya!
Gregory: wow
McCain: also we should get tough and demand war crimes trials for anyone who uses violence against people in the middle east
Bush [drunk, at home]: whoa hold on there cowboy
Gregory: Senator McCain is there any chance for a functioning democracy in that far off desert land
McCain: I have high hopes someday we can have basic human rights in Arizona
Gregory: I was talking about Egypt
McCain: People hate dictators - I tried to tell that to George Bush but he wouldn’t listen
Gregory: so where does it end?
McCain: we should stand up for democracy in Iran and if it goes well there we then can try it here
Gregory: Secretary Gates says invading Iraq was completely insane
McCain: yes but we were attacked on 9/11 by Afghanistan and other continents too
Gregory: so your are concerned about being in continents?
McCain: you have no idea Fluffy
Gregory: did the Pentagon try psych ops on you?
McCain: I’ve gone up against the Viet Cong so those tricks won’t work on me
Gregory: but they tried it on many U.S. leaders - doesn’t that concern you?
McCain: look the CIA tried mind control on Sarah Palin but found they had nothing to work with
Gregory: I see
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Walker in Wisconsin says to save America we must destroy unions
Trumka: Unions are underpaid, the pension is funded, the unions took his cuts and now he’s threatening layoffs
Gregory: Unions use political clout to elect officials who turn around and give you benefits
Trumka: no that’s the Koch brothers
Gregory: is this about union busting?
Barbour: America is totally broke and it’s time for the hard truth that we must cut taxes for the rich and end collective bargaining for unions
Gregory: the unions already accepted the cuts
Barbour: collective bargaining is not a right golddarnut
O’Donnell: apparently Scott Walker considered sending in troublemakers to make the protestors look bad
Gregory: speaking of that isn’t it terrible to compare Walker to Hitler
Cleaver: when the lion lies down with the lamb the lamb gets eated
Gregory: Obama has created a difficult situation
in Wisconsin
Strassel: Heroes like Walker and Christie have said we must crush unions and the middle class love them for it
Gregory: Obama isn’t doing enough!
O’Donnell: this isn’t about Obama
Gregory: Howard Fineman says the GOP wants
to crush public unions because they support Democrats
Barbour: you have got to destroy unions and every American knows it
Cleaver: the public employees are willing to give concessions and the Gov. Walker said no
Gregory: but the unions compared him to Hitler so he had to take away their rights
O’Donnell: if crushing unions is so popular why not put it to a vote?
Barbour: the people of Wisconsin want to destroy unions - just look at Indiana
Gregory: I see
Barbour: the real victim here is Sarah Palin
Gregory: of course
Cleaver: we should not cut the debt by cutting funds for the poorest Americans
Gregory: interesting thought
Cleaver: Bernanke and Goldman Sachs think too many cuts could hurt the economic recovery
Gregory: but those are all socialists
O’Donnell: we’re talking cuts about in spending only after slashing taxes for the richest
Gregory: does freedom in the middle east imperil the economy
Strassel: Democracy is a tax on our fragile economy
Gregory: oh my god
Strassel: also premature recovery could lead to inflation
Barbour: if we drilled in America more gas
would be free
Gregory: John Thune isn’t running for President which sad because he’s so handsome
Audience: awwww
Gregory: Barbour are your running for President
Barbour: hayyell yayyuss
Trumka: oh please I hope this jackass runs
Gregory: Romney would be electable but he has a problem - he may not be insane enough to win a Republican primary
O’Donnell: yes but that’s true for every GOP candidate not currently in an institution
Strassel: Fiscal responsibility is suddenly a
really big thing
Gregory: that’s a GOP issue since this year
Cleaver: people are going to wake up and realize the GOP is all crazy
Gregory: Awesome and that’s Meet The Press
*******************************
Gov. Scott Walker - (R-WI)
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Gov. Haley Barbour - (R-MS)
Rep. Emanuel Cleaver - (D-MO)
Richard Trumka - President AFL-CIO
Lawrence O’Donnell - MSNBC
Kim Strassel - Wall Street Journal
**********************************
Gregory: Wow Scott Walker had to break unions to
balance the budget!
Walker: damm right I did Fluffy
Gregory: I heard the unions are willing to give
you what you want to balance the budget
Walker: sure but then they objected to their
not existing and I can’t have that
Gregory: so why not take yes for an answer?
Walker: yes but there are a thousand towns across the state and there are unions hiding everywhere
Gregory: really
Walker: right - so we must crush collective bargaining which will take money from our grandchildren
Gregory: what exactly is wrong with
collective bargaining?
Walker: because Barack Obama is bad guy
Gregory: I see
Walker: I tried a 35 hour work week and the
unions said no which meant I had to lay off thousands of people
Gregory: but cops and firefighters are exempt
Walker: look I can’t cross the cops -
did you know they carry guns!?
Gregory: so austerity for everyone but unions who endorsed you
Walker: we can’t afford to piss these unions off -
they do important jobs
Gregory: teachers aren’t important?
Walker: right
Gregory: are you trying to change the course
of history?
Walker: yes
Gregory: so why exempt unions who
supported you?
Walker: I’m trying to change the course of
the history of the Democratic party into
not existing anymore
Gregory: I see
Walker: I make no apologies for standing on principle against unions that don’t endorse me
Gregory: right
Walker: we need to tell the truth - endorse me
or you hate grandchildren
Gregory: are you an ideologue?
Walker: Wisconsin is open for business -
people are ordering pizzas from here from
all over America!
Gregory: how does this end?
Walker: hopefully we crush the basis for financial support for
the Democratic party
Gregory: you said you considered planting troublemakers in the liberal crowd
Walker: yes but I will not allow outsiders to cause violence whether its liberals or me
Gregory: I want to talk about what comes next for the insane leader surrounded by on all sides by hostile forces
Walker: I’m holding up well David
Gregory: I was talking about Gaddafi
Walker: oh right
McCain: We need to enforce a no-fly zone
over Libya!
Gregory: wow
McCain: also we should get tough and demand war crimes trials for anyone who uses violence against people in the middle east
Bush [drunk, at home]: whoa hold on there cowboy
Gregory: Senator McCain is there any chance for a functioning democracy in that far off desert land
McCain: I have high hopes someday we can have basic human rights in Arizona
Gregory: I was talking about Egypt
McCain: People hate dictators - I tried to tell that to George Bush but he wouldn’t listen
Gregory: so where does it end?
McCain: we should stand up for democracy in Iran and if it goes well there we then can try it here
Gregory: Secretary Gates says invading Iraq was completely insane
McCain: yes but we were attacked on 9/11 by Afghanistan and other continents too
Gregory: so your are concerned about being in continents?
McCain: you have no idea Fluffy
Gregory: did the Pentagon try psych ops on you?
McCain: I’ve gone up against the Viet Cong so those tricks won’t work on me
Gregory: but they tried it on many U.S. leaders - doesn’t that concern you?
McCain: look the CIA tried mind control on Sarah Palin but found they had nothing to work with
Gregory: I see
[ break ]
Gregory: Gov. Walker in Wisconsin says to save America we must destroy unions
Trumka: Unions are underpaid, the pension is funded, the unions took his cuts and now he’s threatening layoffs
Gregory: Unions use political clout to elect officials who turn around and give you benefits
Trumka: no that’s the Koch brothers
Gregory: is this about union busting?
Barbour: America is totally broke and it’s time for the hard truth that we must cut taxes for the rich and end collective bargaining for unions
Gregory: the unions already accepted the cuts
Barbour: collective bargaining is not a right golddarnut
O’Donnell: apparently Scott Walker considered sending in troublemakers to make the protestors look bad
Gregory: speaking of that isn’t it terrible to compare Walker to Hitler
Cleaver: when the lion lies down with the lamb the lamb gets eated
Gregory: Obama has created a difficult situation
in Wisconsin
Strassel: Heroes like Walker and Christie have said we must crush unions and the middle class love them for it
Gregory: Obama isn’t doing enough!
O’Donnell: this isn’t about Obama
Gregory: Howard Fineman says the GOP wants
to crush public unions because they support Democrats
Barbour: you have got to destroy unions and every American knows it
Cleaver: the public employees are willing to give concessions and the Gov. Walker said no
Gregory: but the unions compared him to Hitler so he had to take away their rights
O’Donnell: if crushing unions is so popular why not put it to a vote?
Barbour: the people of Wisconsin want to destroy unions - just look at Indiana
Gregory: I see
Barbour: the real victim here is Sarah Palin
Gregory: of course
Cleaver: we should not cut the debt by cutting funds for the poorest Americans
Gregory: interesting thought
Cleaver: Bernanke and Goldman Sachs think too many cuts could hurt the economic recovery
Gregory: but those are all socialists
O’Donnell: we’re talking cuts about in spending only after slashing taxes for the richest
Gregory: does freedom in the middle east imperil the economy
Strassel: Democracy is a tax on our fragile economy
Gregory: oh my god
Strassel: also premature recovery could lead to inflation
Barbour: if we drilled in America more gas
would be free
Gregory: John Thune isn’t running for President which sad because he’s so handsome
Audience: awwww
Gregory: Barbour are your running for President
Barbour: hayyell yayyuss
Trumka: oh please I hope this jackass runs
Gregory: Romney would be electable but he has a problem - he may not be insane enough to win a Republican primary
O’Donnell: yes but that’s true for every GOP candidate not currently in an institution
Strassel: Fiscal responsibility is suddenly a
really big thing
Gregory: that’s a GOP issue since this year
Cleaver: people are going to wake up and realize the GOP is all crazy
Gregory: Awesome and that’s Meet The Press
*******************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - February 27, 2011
Guests:
Saif Gadhafi
Saadi Gadhafi
Reza Aslan
Robert Kagan
Jake Tapper
************************
Amanpour: Hi I’m in Libya - Who could write the crazy rants and ravings of Muammar Gadhafi - except Charlie Sheen, of course
Sheen: magic poet Vatican assassin bitch!
Amanpour: I’m on a flight from London to Libya - surprisingly uncrowded
Amanpour: in fact there a thousands of people at the airport - the place is littered with garbage and strewn with starving stranded passengers desperate to get out
Audience: so it’s like Newark airport at Thanksgiving
Amanpour: anti-government protestors are firing guns in the air and are openly mocking Gadhafi
Amanpour: I spoke with Gadhafi’s son Saif -
Obama says Moammur should quit
Saif: We’re holed up in Tripoli and we’re loving it
Amanpour: you say you’re not using violence but why are so many people are being killed
Saif: oh that never happened
Amanpour: why is everybody fleeing the regime
like rats off a ship
Saif: because the ship is sinking
Amanpour: I see
Saif: my enemies are losing - you can’t understand process it because I have magic and poetry in
my fingertips
Amanpour: maybe you should have reformed Libya before the rebellion
Saif: gee I wish I had fucking thought of that Christiane
Amanpour: you were supposed to be a reformer
Saif: the same assholes who stopped me from reforming and now fleeing Libya - fuck those
fickle traitors
Amanpour: you seem somewhat out of touch
with reality
Saif: I’m a Vatican ninja assassin
Amanpour: what about freezing your Swiss bank accounts
Saif: there’s not such things - we’re surrounded
by fools and trolls
[ break ]
Amanpour: will Libya sanctions affect you?
Saadi: I can’t travel - it sucks!
Amanpour: so what will you do now?
Saadi: I need a good lawyer - Dershowitz won’t return my calls!
Amanpour; why are you so upset?
Saadi: I just want a normal life
Amanpour: Other people in Libya want a normal
life too
Saadi: those selfish bastards
Amanpour: what is going on the Middle East?
Saadi: it’s total chaos everywhere
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Saadi: the little people can’t handle freedom
Amanpour: what about your Dad?
Saadi: he’s totally fucked
Amanpour: you lived in Europe where people
have freedom
Saadi: no they have health care so it’s really socialism or really enslavement
Amanpour: is it hard being Gaddafi’s son?
Saadi: the man is a deranged lunatic but he never forgets a birthday
[ break ]
Bowen: the rebels are taking over the country
Amanpour: can they take over Tripoli?
Bowen: oh no they’re just localized rebels -
like on Tatooine
Amanpour: Jake is revolution in the Middle East bad for America?
Tapper: well you could argue democracy is a good thing - on the other hand the price of oil might go
up a penny
Amanpour: well fuck it then
Tapper: also there are some very cooperative dictators around here
Kagan: we’re paying the price now for being too cozy with dictators
Amanpour: maybe but some of them are so nice
Kagan: if we claim democracy and human rights
are universal values then why not for muslims and arabs too?
Amanpour: who are these wacky young Arabs -
do they love America?
Aslan: they’re all virtual and transcend time and space - they live on Facebook and realize they don’t have to support these old dictators
Amanpour: Is Iran the real winner with all these revolutions?
Kagan: why should this movement bypass Iran? That regime is on borrowed time!
Amanpour: What about our good friends in Saudi Arabia?
Tapper: the White House is telling our remaining friends to get out of ahead of reform or they’re going to end of dangling from a lamppost
Aslan: the kids in Iran started a revolution in 2009 and now it’s going to come full circle
Amanpour: ok forget Iran - is this good for al-qaeda?
Kagan: the kids demanding democracy and freedom don’t like the message of hate coming from al-qaeda which is why we need to send troops to Tripoli
Amanpour: thanks
***************************************
Saif Gadhafi
Saadi Gadhafi
Reza Aslan
Robert Kagan
Jake Tapper
************************
Amanpour: Hi I’m in Libya - Who could write the crazy rants and ravings of Muammar Gadhafi - except Charlie Sheen, of course
Sheen: magic poet Vatican assassin bitch!
Amanpour: I’m on a flight from London to Libya - surprisingly uncrowded
Amanpour: in fact there a thousands of people at the airport - the place is littered with garbage and strewn with starving stranded passengers desperate to get out
Audience: so it’s like Newark airport at Thanksgiving
Amanpour: anti-government protestors are firing guns in the air and are openly mocking Gadhafi
Amanpour: I spoke with Gadhafi’s son Saif -
Obama says Moammur should quit
Saif: We’re holed up in Tripoli and we’re loving it
Amanpour: you say you’re not using violence but why are so many people are being killed
Saif: oh that never happened
Amanpour: why is everybody fleeing the regime
like rats off a ship
Saif: because the ship is sinking
Amanpour: I see
Saif: my enemies are losing - you can’t understand process it because I have magic and poetry in
my fingertips
Amanpour: maybe you should have reformed Libya before the rebellion
Saif: gee I wish I had fucking thought of that Christiane
Amanpour: you were supposed to be a reformer
Saif: the same assholes who stopped me from reforming and now fleeing Libya - fuck those
fickle traitors
Amanpour: you seem somewhat out of touch
with reality
Saif: I’m a Vatican ninja assassin
Amanpour: what about freezing your Swiss bank accounts
Saif: there’s not such things - we’re surrounded
by fools and trolls
[ break ]
Amanpour: will Libya sanctions affect you?
Saadi: I can’t travel - it sucks!
Amanpour: so what will you do now?
Saadi: I need a good lawyer - Dershowitz won’t return my calls!
Amanpour; why are you so upset?
Saadi: I just want a normal life
Amanpour: Other people in Libya want a normal
life too
Saadi: those selfish bastards
Amanpour: what is going on the Middle East?
Saadi: it’s total chaos everywhere
Amanpour: what about freedom?
Saadi: the little people can’t handle freedom
Amanpour: what about your Dad?
Saadi: he’s totally fucked
Amanpour: you lived in Europe where people
have freedom
Saadi: no they have health care so it’s really socialism or really enslavement
Amanpour: is it hard being Gaddafi’s son?
Saadi: the man is a deranged lunatic but he never forgets a birthday
[ break ]
Bowen: the rebels are taking over the country
Amanpour: can they take over Tripoli?
Bowen: oh no they’re just localized rebels -
like on Tatooine
Amanpour: Jake is revolution in the Middle East bad for America?
Tapper: well you could argue democracy is a good thing - on the other hand the price of oil might go
up a penny
Amanpour: well fuck it then
Tapper: also there are some very cooperative dictators around here
Kagan: we’re paying the price now for being too cozy with dictators
Amanpour: maybe but some of them are so nice
Kagan: if we claim democracy and human rights
are universal values then why not for muslims and arabs too?
Amanpour: who are these wacky young Arabs -
do they love America?
Aslan: they’re all virtual and transcend time and space - they live on Facebook and realize they don’t have to support these old dictators
Amanpour: Is Iran the real winner with all these revolutions?
Kagan: why should this movement bypass Iran? That regime is on borrowed time!
Amanpour: What about our good friends in Saudi Arabia?
Tapper: the White House is telling our remaining friends to get out of ahead of reform or they’re going to end of dangling from a lamppost
Aslan: the kids in Iran started a revolution in 2009 and now it’s going to come full circle
Amanpour: ok forget Iran - is this good for al-qaeda?
Kagan: the kids demanding democracy and freedom don’t like the message of hate coming from al-qaeda which is why we need to send troops to Tripoli
Amanpour: thanks
***************************************
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Meet The Press - February 20, 2011
Guests:
Dr. Susan Rice - Amb. to the U.N.
Sen. dick Durbin - (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsey Graham - (R-SC)
Jennifer Granholm
Harold Ford
Ed Gillespie
Rick Santelli
****************************
Gregory: What’s happening in the Middle east?
Rice: we will stand up for freedom of speech, freedom of expression and freedom of protest whether in strong allies of America like Bahrain
or states like Wisconsin
Gregory: I heard Khadaffi killing people -
how dangerous is Libya?
Rice: It’s extremely dangerous
Gregory: how much
Rice: Protesters are at almost as a great risk as a cast member of Spider-Man
Gregory: my god - what about Bahrain?
Rice: we’ve been very clear in demanding that they please stop crushing democracy
Gregory: can the government survive?
Rice: sure - Obama will probably even be reelected
Gregory: how much democracy are we willing
to tolerate?
Rice: why not have representative government and human rights?
Gregory: but people are confused - you say don’t support abuse of human rights and yet you
come on my show
Rice: good point
Gregory: Doesn’t the U.S. get to determine what happens in every country in the Middle East
Rice: no it doesn’t
Gregory: oh - so sad
Gregory: the U.S. chose to make Mubarak leave Egypt without imposing a new friendly government - wasn’t that a mistake?
Rice: you have some funny ideas Fluffy
Gregory: what if dangerous scary religious
fanatics take over?
Rice: I’m not prepared to talk about the 2012
GOP primary
Gregory: aren’t you terrified of Muslims?
Rice: No I’m not Fluffy
Gregory: Didn’t you anger scary arabs by not condemning Israel at the U.N.?
Rice: I don’t care - we’re trying to make peace Greggers
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay isn’t Obama terrible and inconsistent on Middle East democracy?
Graham: no actually - but he’s too timid on Iran
Gregory: will there be a government shutdown?
Durbin: we can’t allow that to happen - our troops could run out of bullets
Graham: after years of lean spending from 1980-2008 Obama suddenly increased the federal budget 80%
Gregory: is there any room for compromise?
Durbin: we already cut $40 billion
Gregory: no you didn’t cut anything - you just spent less money than before
Durbin: balancing the budget is the last thing you want to do in a recession
Gregory: what about ending collective bargaining for state workers?
Graham: Obama is biggest spender since
World War II!
Gregory: wow
Graham: it is inappropriate for a federal official to weigh in on whether the Wisconsin policy is right
Durbin: the governor is trying to destroy unions
Graham: there was referendum held in Wisconsin to end collective bargaining and it was approved
Durbin: no there wasn’t
Graham: But if there had been I wouldn’t be lying
Graham: it was wrong for Obama to express a position on Wisconsin because the governor there is right and we must all support him
Durbin: you’re from South Carolina - how is it
your business?
Gregory: Bowles and Simpson says we should cut social security OMG I knew it!
Durbin: members of the debt commission are meeting in a local Washington DC Starbucks trying to find a way to cut Medicaid
Gregory: why won’t your cut entitlements!?!?!
[ starts sobbbing ]
Durbin: well--
Gregory: hold on - I want to challenge Graham on whether Obama is a terrible President for not cutting Medicare
Graham: We must be courageous and raise the retirement age to 70
Durbin: Social Security has no impact on the deficit
Gregory: [ hands over ears ]
lalalalala I can’t hear you
Graham: let’s be like Saint Reagan and Saint Tip O’Neill and make old people work it’s very disappointing we’re not doing this
[ break ]
Gregory: Is Wisconsin the Tunisia of labor rights?
Granholm: public employees accepted cuts but the governor insisted on breaking the union anyway
Gillespie: Obama shouldn’t have inserted himself on the Wisconsin debate - he should leave that to Senators from South Carolina
Gregory: is this about energizing the base?
Ford: Obama is right - this is an assault on unions
Santelli: those fucking coddled public unions are costing America
Gregory: I see
Santelli: union are terrorists attacking the rest of us
Gregory: Don’t we need to slash spending?
Granholm: People don’t care about spending or the debt - they want goddamn jobs
Gregory: who is winning the austerity conversation?
Ford: I am
Gregory: aren’t all Democrats a bunch of demagogues?
Ford: we must give up all Social Security benefits until we are 70!
Gregory: are the GOP willing to strike a Grand Bargain?
Santelli: the public is going to be thrilled with any politician who promises to eliminate Social Security- so Obama should definitely go first
Gregory: Government shutdown
Granholm: oddly people don’t seem like that
Gillespie: Obama increased spending 24%!
Gregory: wow!
Gillespie: Consumers won’t buy stuff because of the high federal debt and interest rates are so high no business can borrow
Audience: that’s not true
Ford: people don’t want jobs -- they want Social Security slashed
Christie: we must raise the retirement age!
Santelli: we have no choice we must slash spending now!!
Ford: Clinton created a surplus
Santelli: that was a totally different era - there was a dot com revolution and the cold war was ending
Gregory: Of course - and that’s Meet the Press
********************************************
Dr. Susan Rice - Amb. to the U.N.
Sen. dick Durbin - (D-IL)
Sen. Lindsey Graham - (R-SC)
Jennifer Granholm
Harold Ford
Ed Gillespie
Rick Santelli
****************************
Gregory: What’s happening in the Middle east?
Rice: we will stand up for freedom of speech, freedom of expression and freedom of protest whether in strong allies of America like Bahrain
or states like Wisconsin
Gregory: I heard Khadaffi killing people -
how dangerous is Libya?
Rice: It’s extremely dangerous
Gregory: how much
Rice: Protesters are at almost as a great risk as a cast member of Spider-Man
Gregory: my god - what about Bahrain?
Rice: we’ve been very clear in demanding that they please stop crushing democracy
Gregory: can the government survive?
Rice: sure - Obama will probably even be reelected
Gregory: how much democracy are we willing
to tolerate?
Rice: why not have representative government and human rights?
Gregory: but people are confused - you say don’t support abuse of human rights and yet you
come on my show
Rice: good point
Gregory: Doesn’t the U.S. get to determine what happens in every country in the Middle East
Rice: no it doesn’t
Gregory: oh - so sad
Gregory: the U.S. chose to make Mubarak leave Egypt without imposing a new friendly government - wasn’t that a mistake?
Rice: you have some funny ideas Fluffy
Gregory: what if dangerous scary religious
fanatics take over?
Rice: I’m not prepared to talk about the 2012
GOP primary
Gregory: aren’t you terrified of Muslims?
Rice: No I’m not Fluffy
Gregory: Didn’t you anger scary arabs by not condemning Israel at the U.N.?
Rice: I don’t care - we’re trying to make peace Greggers
[ break ]
Gregory: Lindsay isn’t Obama terrible and inconsistent on Middle East democracy?
Graham: no actually - but he’s too timid on Iran
Gregory: will there be a government shutdown?
Durbin: we can’t allow that to happen - our troops could run out of bullets
Graham: after years of lean spending from 1980-2008 Obama suddenly increased the federal budget 80%
Gregory: is there any room for compromise?
Durbin: we already cut $40 billion
Gregory: no you didn’t cut anything - you just spent less money than before
Durbin: balancing the budget is the last thing you want to do in a recession
Gregory: what about ending collective bargaining for state workers?
Graham: Obama is biggest spender since
World War II!
Gregory: wow
Graham: it is inappropriate for a federal official to weigh in on whether the Wisconsin policy is right
Durbin: the governor is trying to destroy unions
Graham: there was referendum held in Wisconsin to end collective bargaining and it was approved
Durbin: no there wasn’t
Graham: But if there had been I wouldn’t be lying
Graham: it was wrong for Obama to express a position on Wisconsin because the governor there is right and we must all support him
Durbin: you’re from South Carolina - how is it
your business?
Gregory: Bowles and Simpson says we should cut social security OMG I knew it!
Durbin: members of the debt commission are meeting in a local Washington DC Starbucks trying to find a way to cut Medicaid
Gregory: why won’t your cut entitlements!?!?!
[ starts sobbbing ]
Durbin: well--
Gregory: hold on - I want to challenge Graham on whether Obama is a terrible President for not cutting Medicare
Graham: We must be courageous and raise the retirement age to 70
Durbin: Social Security has no impact on the deficit
Gregory: [ hands over ears ]
lalalalala I can’t hear you
Graham: let’s be like Saint Reagan and Saint Tip O’Neill and make old people work it’s very disappointing we’re not doing this
[ break ]
Gregory: Is Wisconsin the Tunisia of labor rights?
Granholm: public employees accepted cuts but the governor insisted on breaking the union anyway
Gillespie: Obama shouldn’t have inserted himself on the Wisconsin debate - he should leave that to Senators from South Carolina
Gregory: is this about energizing the base?
Ford: Obama is right - this is an assault on unions
Santelli: those fucking coddled public unions are costing America
Gregory: I see
Santelli: union are terrorists attacking the rest of us
Gregory: Don’t we need to slash spending?
Granholm: People don’t care about spending or the debt - they want goddamn jobs
Gregory: who is winning the austerity conversation?
Ford: I am
Gregory: aren’t all Democrats a bunch of demagogues?
Ford: we must give up all Social Security benefits until we are 70!
Gregory: are the GOP willing to strike a Grand Bargain?
Santelli: the public is going to be thrilled with any politician who promises to eliminate Social Security- so Obama should definitely go first
Gregory: Government shutdown
Granholm: oddly people don’t seem like that
Gillespie: Obama increased spending 24%!
Gregory: wow!
Gillespie: Consumers won’t buy stuff because of the high federal debt and interest rates are so high no business can borrow
Audience: that’s not true
Ford: people don’t want jobs -- they want Social Security slashed
Christie: we must raise the retirement age!
Santelli: we have no choice we must slash spending now!!
Ford: Clinton created a surplus
Santelli: that was a totally different era - there was a dot com revolution and the cold war was ending
Gregory: Of course - and that’s Meet the Press
********************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - February 20, 2011
Guests:
Rep. Steve Southerland (R-FL)
George Will
Donna Brazille
Jonathan Karl
*******************************
Amanpour: holy crap it’s a people’s uprising -
in fucking Wisconsin!
Audience: whoa
Woodruff: there are union members marching and now even the tea party has came to demand public school teachers get their hands off the government
Audience: ah
Woodruff: unions want to keep collective bargaining rights and the tea party want to cut government spending
Teacher: I may have to leave teaching is
this bill passes
Tea partier: my wife is a teacher and this will cost her money but to be honest I never liked her much
Amanpour: Is Wisconsin going to played out
across America?
Will: Obama is a terrible debtor who is now sabotaging brave Wisconsin’s willingness to finally balance the budget on the backs of working people
Brazille: bullshit - these are just workers who want their collective bargaining rights
Southerland: Politicians all around America have no choice but to destroy unions since we’re in a recession
Karl: Obama has to win Wisconsin in 2012 -
also he’s soft on Mubarak
Will: All Walker is proposing is to take long-standing collective bargaining rights for wages - what copswaddle piffle
Brazille: Gov. Walker may hate unions but he thinks its great to give tax breaks to corporations
Southerland: Federal employees have nice pensions which is just wrong
Will: these teachers are getting rich and they abandoned their kids
Southerland: Small banks are being captured by
evil nazi federal regulators
Karl: Walker is trying to end automatic union dues collection which will of course solve Wisconsin’s non-existent budget problem
Amanpour: of course
Karl: no politician in world history was rewarded for making tough choices until Chris Christie came along
Southerland: it’s amazing and wonderful because America is broke
Will: federal budget cuts are very important but they also very very small
Brazille: these cuts affect vital essential programs
for children and the elderly
Will: [ yawns ]
Karl: Boehner is afraid of getting blamed for a government shutdown
Southerland: we had 500 amendments to the budget
Will: these cuts can’t be draconian because American is a big rich country
Brazille: what about the little children in Head Start?
Will: they don’t matter because of the Chevy volt
Brazille: Why I am talking with this bow-tied idiot
Will: balderdash!
Brazille: shut up you foppish twit
************************************
Rep. Steve Southerland (R-FL)
George Will
Donna Brazille
Jonathan Karl
*******************************
Amanpour: holy crap it’s a people’s uprising -
in fucking Wisconsin!
Audience: whoa
Woodruff: there are union members marching and now even the tea party has came to demand public school teachers get their hands off the government
Audience: ah
Woodruff: unions want to keep collective bargaining rights and the tea party want to cut government spending
Teacher: I may have to leave teaching is
this bill passes
Tea partier: my wife is a teacher and this will cost her money but to be honest I never liked her much
Amanpour: Is Wisconsin going to played out
across America?
Will: Obama is a terrible debtor who is now sabotaging brave Wisconsin’s willingness to finally balance the budget on the backs of working people
Brazille: bullshit - these are just workers who want their collective bargaining rights
Southerland: Politicians all around America have no choice but to destroy unions since we’re in a recession
Karl: Obama has to win Wisconsin in 2012 -
also he’s soft on Mubarak
Will: All Walker is proposing is to take long-standing collective bargaining rights for wages - what copswaddle piffle
Brazille: Gov. Walker may hate unions but he thinks its great to give tax breaks to corporations
Southerland: Federal employees have nice pensions which is just wrong
Will: these teachers are getting rich and they abandoned their kids
Southerland: Small banks are being captured by
evil nazi federal regulators
Karl: Walker is trying to end automatic union dues collection which will of course solve Wisconsin’s non-existent budget problem
Amanpour: of course
Karl: no politician in world history was rewarded for making tough choices until Chris Christie came along
Southerland: it’s amazing and wonderful because America is broke
Will: federal budget cuts are very important but they also very very small
Brazille: these cuts affect vital essential programs
for children and the elderly
Will: [ yawns ]
Karl: Boehner is afraid of getting blamed for a government shutdown
Southerland: we had 500 amendments to the budget
Will: these cuts can’t be draconian because American is a big rich country
Brazille: what about the little children in Head Start?
Will: they don’t matter because of the Chevy volt
Brazille: Why I am talking with this bow-tied idiot
Will: balderdash!
Brazille: shut up you foppish twit
************************************
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - Feb. 13, 2011
Guests:
Newt Gingrich
Sameh Shoukry - Egypt Ambassador to the U.S.
Terry Moran - ABC news
Martha Raddatz - ABC news
*************************************
Amanpour: whoa ‘people power’ overthrew
a 30-year dictator in Egypt so of course we will talk to Newt Gingrich
Audience: yay
Amanpour: 18 days that shook the world - the people fought for their freedom and democracy
and they won
Audience: wow
Amanpour: last week Mubarak told me he wouldn’t leave but the people wouldn’t accept anything less and the military backed the protesters
Audience: woo hoo
Amanpour: Mubarak tried to stay - but the people were furious and just like that Mubarak was out
Obama: the Egyptian people have demanded democracy which someday may inspire Americans to do the same
Terry Moran: there is already split among protesters - those who want to stay in the square and demand real hope and change those think enough has
been done
Audience: sounds familiar
Amanpour: speaking of out-of-touch egomaniacs - here’s Newt Gingrich
Amanpour: you called Obama timid, confused and amateurish
Gingrich: right Obama is weak and stupid and just keeps getting lucky
Amanpour: so what would have done about Egypt?
Gingrich: I would tell Mubarak privately and quietly he must leave but you must never abandon an ally or our dictator friends will think we don’t support dictators like Mubarak which we don’t
Amanpour: don’t you think they will figure it out when Mubarak updates his Facebook page?
Gingrich: no they don’t get the Internet in Syria
or Texas
Amanpour: you loved Mubarak once - not without cause
Gingrich: right - look my position is very very clear - we should maintain two conflicting policies
Amanpour: Obama openly supported the protesters
Gingrich: but he cut funds to them
Amanpour: so you support democracy there?
Gingrich: no I don’t because the Muslim Brotherhood is scary
Amanpour: so what do we do now?
Gingrich: threaten to pull our $1 billion in aid if they don’t put in a friendly government
Amanpour: why would you do that
Gingrich: because America stands for freedom
Amanpour: what does that mean concretely?
Gingrich: demand the Muslim Brotherhood be banned from participation in democracy
Amanpour: why would you do that?
Gingrich: they are conservative radicals who have a 30-year to plan to take over the government starting with the schools
Amanpour: I didn’t know the tea party was in Egypt
Amanpour: How do you reconcile democracy with fear of Muslims?
Gingrich: Did you know Adolf Hitler was a member of the Muslim Brotherhood in Zimbabwe?
Amanpour: you are fascinating - are you running
for President?
Gingrich: yes - it’s a great way to scam money from people
Amanpour: excellent
[ break ]
Amanpour: Who is in charge of Egypt?
Shoukry: the Supreme Military Council
Amanpour: that’s very comforting - but what
about democracy?
Shoukry: we’ll get to that in due time
Amanpour: what about the Emergency Law?
Shoukry: we need to keep that - this is a real emergency
Amanpour: and elections?
Shoukry: we will have those in a year or ten
Amanpour: nice - will the new government be pro-America?
Shoukry: it will be pro-Egypt
Amanpour: where is Mubarak?
Shoukry: I’m not sure - he Tweeted me from Disneyworld
Amanpour: what about the peace treaty with Israel?
Shoukry: it’s very nice - after all who wants war?
Amanpour: George Bush did
Shoukry: ah but he said he didn’t
Amanpour: that’s what worries me
Martha Raddatz: People in Yemen are protesting
but it’s scary because it’s a major breeding ground for al-qaeda
Audience: oooh
Raddatz: the failed underpants bomber was trained in Yemen
Audience: eeek
Radd: the U.S. has given Yemen’s military $250 million to fight al-qaeda and it is stronger than ever
Audience: umm ok
Radd: then the U.S. government killed a few
Yemen civilians
Audience: oops sorry
Yemenis: kaithnx America
*******************************
Newt Gingrich
Sameh Shoukry - Egypt Ambassador to the U.S.
Terry Moran - ABC news
Martha Raddatz - ABC news
*************************************
Amanpour: whoa ‘people power’ overthrew
a 30-year dictator in Egypt so of course we will talk to Newt Gingrich
Audience: yay
Amanpour: 18 days that shook the world - the people fought for their freedom and democracy
and they won
Audience: wow
Amanpour: last week Mubarak told me he wouldn’t leave but the people wouldn’t accept anything less and the military backed the protesters
Audience: woo hoo
Amanpour: Mubarak tried to stay - but the people were furious and just like that Mubarak was out
Obama: the Egyptian people have demanded democracy which someday may inspire Americans to do the same
Terry Moran: there is already split among protesters - those who want to stay in the square and demand real hope and change those think enough has
been done
Audience: sounds familiar
Amanpour: speaking of out-of-touch egomaniacs - here’s Newt Gingrich
Amanpour: you called Obama timid, confused and amateurish
Gingrich: right Obama is weak and stupid and just keeps getting lucky
Amanpour: so what would have done about Egypt?
Gingrich: I would tell Mubarak privately and quietly he must leave but you must never abandon an ally or our dictator friends will think we don’t support dictators like Mubarak which we don’t
Amanpour: don’t you think they will figure it out when Mubarak updates his Facebook page?
Gingrich: no they don’t get the Internet in Syria
or Texas
Amanpour: you loved Mubarak once - not without cause
Gingrich: right - look my position is very very clear - we should maintain two conflicting policies
Amanpour: Obama openly supported the protesters
Gingrich: but he cut funds to them
Amanpour: so you support democracy there?
Gingrich: no I don’t because the Muslim Brotherhood is scary
Amanpour: so what do we do now?
Gingrich: threaten to pull our $1 billion in aid if they don’t put in a friendly government
Amanpour: why would you do that
Gingrich: because America stands for freedom
Amanpour: what does that mean concretely?
Gingrich: demand the Muslim Brotherhood be banned from participation in democracy
Amanpour: why would you do that?
Gingrich: they are conservative radicals who have a 30-year to plan to take over the government starting with the schools
Amanpour: I didn’t know the tea party was in Egypt
Amanpour: How do you reconcile democracy with fear of Muslims?
Gingrich: Did you know Adolf Hitler was a member of the Muslim Brotherhood in Zimbabwe?
Amanpour: you are fascinating - are you running
for President?
Gingrich: yes - it’s a great way to scam money from people
Amanpour: excellent
[ break ]
Amanpour: Who is in charge of Egypt?
Shoukry: the Supreme Military Council
Amanpour: that’s very comforting - but what
about democracy?
Shoukry: we’ll get to that in due time
Amanpour: what about the Emergency Law?
Shoukry: we need to keep that - this is a real emergency
Amanpour: and elections?
Shoukry: we will have those in a year or ten
Amanpour: nice - will the new government be pro-America?
Shoukry: it will be pro-Egypt
Amanpour: where is Mubarak?
Shoukry: I’m not sure - he Tweeted me from Disneyworld
Amanpour: what about the peace treaty with Israel?
Shoukry: it’s very nice - after all who wants war?
Amanpour: George Bush did
Shoukry: ah but he said he didn’t
Amanpour: that’s what worries me
Martha Raddatz: People in Yemen are protesting
but it’s scary because it’s a major breeding ground for al-qaeda
Audience: oooh
Raddatz: the failed underpants bomber was trained in Yemen
Audience: eeek
Radd: the U.S. has given Yemen’s military $250 million to fight al-qaeda and it is stronger than ever
Audience: umm ok
Radd: then the U.S. government killed a few
Yemen civilians
Audience: oops sorry
Yemenis: kaithnx America
*******************************
Meet The Press - February 13, 2011
Guests:
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Bobby Schilling - (R-IL)
Kasim Reed - (D-Mayor Atlanta)
Dee Dee Myers
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
********************************
Gregory: holy shit after 18 days of protests
Mubarak quit
Engel: things are returning back to normal in Cairo
Gregory: amazing
Engel: doctors, lawyers and even police are demonstrating demanding an end to corrupt outdated institutions like the state internal
security ministry and cable news
Gregory: oh dear
Engel: the army suspended the constitution, dissolved the parliament and took over the country
Gregory: now I feel better
Gregory: it seems like reform is sweeping the middle east
Indyk: Qadaffi could be next - fancy epaulets
only take you so far
Gregory: did Tweetdeck bring down a dictator?
Wright: the young cyber-generation are bringing down the powerful and now they have to govern
Gregory: this is what terrifies me
Indyk: forget the Muslim Brotherhood
- do we want to be governed by a bunch of iPod-hooked teenagers??
Gregory: what about Iran?
Wright: Iran says it supports the Egyptian protesters and it shows it by shooting Iranian protesters
Gregory: Republicans have raised doubts
about Obama
Audience: that is shocking indeed
Gregory: welcome Mr. Speaker
Boehner: thanks
Gregory: does the GOP think Obama pushed Mubarak out too fast?
Boehner: we need to support freedom
Gregory: Rick Santorum doesn’t think so
Boehner: well he’s an idiot
Gregory: so you don’t like Murbarak?
Boehner: we need to listen to people crying
out for freedom
[ starts crying ]
Gregory: I see
Boehner: they’re crying for freedom fluffy [ sobs ]
Gregory: what does worry you?
Boehner: we can’t support violent crazy radicals who don’t supports right or democracy
Gregory: we’ll get to the tea party later
Gregory: what makes you think the Egyptians are ready for democracy?
Boehner: I believe freedom and low taxes are a god-given right
Gregory: Obama didn’t see this coming!
Boehner: well nobody’s perfect
Gregory: but aren’t you terribly disappointed?
Boehner: no
Gregory: jesus fucking christ who do I have to invite on to get someone to bash Obama?!?!?
Boehner: sobs
Gregory: the tea party is mad at you
Boehner: I know! [ sniffles ]
Gregory: will you at least fulfill your pledge to cut $100 billion from the budget?
Boehner: yes whatever shuts those loons up
Gregory: will you cut critical programs and damage the recovery
Boehner: when are we going to get serious about cutting spending?
Gregory: ok get serious and cut the defense budget
Boehner: Obama’s excessive spending causes unemployment
Gregory: oh I see
Boehner: we must cut spending now!
Gregory: won’t that cause another recession?
Boehner: no cutting spending will create jobs
Gregory: how does that work?
Boehner: because businesses will see Washington get serious about the debt and hire the people their business needs
Gregory: um yeah
Boehner: After big spending under Reagan, Bush I, Bush II it’s finally time to cut spending
Gregory: so cut Social Security!
Boehner: look David you and I both want to cut Social Security but not every Americans realize it’s necessary and it’s up to you and I educate them
Gregory: I’m on it
Gregory: shouldn’t the government get out of mortgage business?
Boehner: damm right
Gregory: won’t that collapse the housing market?
Boehner: it would have before but recent experience shows that the private sector can handle the private mortgage market
Gregory: Do you believe Obama is from Kenya
Boehner: he could be
Gregory: shouldn’t you stand up to utter ignorance?
Boehner: it’s not our job to tell people to the truth - we have to listen to the American people
Gregory: interesting perspective
Boehner: look people read a lot of things it’s not our job to traffic in truth
Gregory: Is your party trying to convince people Obama is Kenyan-Muslim-Marxist
Boehner: no I’m trying to convince people he borrows-and-spends so much he is almost as bad Reagan, George Bush or George W Bush
Boehner: you say people in Washington are trying to snuff out the American dream
Boehner: right
Gregory: but you’re Speaker of the House
Boehner: technically
Gregory: Rep. Chris Lee resigned because he put a shirtless picture of himself on the Internet
Boehner: Shitless Rep in Tasteless Move
Gregory: heh
Boehner: we will not tolerate immorality in the party that does not involve passing out checks from lobbyists on the House floor
Gregory: isn’t Obama doomed?
Boehner: you have persuaded me Fluffy
Gregory: who is the front runner in the GOP race in 2012 out of Romney, Huckabee, Palin and Paul?
Boehner: good god - hopefully someone else will come forward
Gregory: what do you need in a candidate?
Boehner: someone who can spout bullshit
really skillfully
Gregory: what about the tea party
Boehner: I love those gun-toting lunatics
[ break ]
Gregory: let us turn to our Egypt expert David Books
Brooks: John Boehner supports Obama which means he must have really screwed up
Halperin: Iran terrifies me
Gregory: what terrifies you pizza man?
Schilling: I am terrified of war with Israel and pineapple toppings
Gregory: If you are not Boehner’s clone whose
clone are you
Schilling: I created by cross-fertilizing the DNA of Ronald Reagan and Ayn Rand
Gregory: the leaders are already compromising on the promises they made to the tea party -
are you furious?
Schilling: no they gave me a key to the Congressional bathroom and I folded
like a cheap suit
Gregory: you get one of those anyway
Schilling: oh
Reed: we need be honest about spending
Gregory: there’s a split between Big Spenders and Cutters
Myers: the real split is in the Republican party between the Crazy and Corporate
Brooks: these brave brave Republicans are cutting important programs but aren’t really willing to cut anything big
Schilling: I’m sick of tired of the direction of this nation since we elected a Democrat President
Gregory: so what do you want
Schilling: we must cut entitlements!
Gregory: like what specifically
Schilling: I don’t know that’s not my job -
I’m a small businessman
Gregory: But you’re in Congress now
Schilling: I am - holy shit
Halperin: with all due respect to the Congressman he’s an idiot
Brooks: I have good news - there are some people in Congress willing to eliminate Social Security
Gregory: thank god
Reed: just cut it already so we can prepare
Gregory: Ron Paul won the CPAC 2012 straw poll!
Halperin: It’s between Gingrich, Romney Huckabee and
“Unnamed Not Crazy Person”
Myers: the GOP nomination always goes the Respectable White Male which is Mitt Romney but this is not your father’s GOP
Schilling: The Tea Party is going demand an insane nominee
Gregory: can Obama win if unemployment is still high?
Reed: yeah he will probably have to
Gregory: how about Jeb Bush and Obama’s Ambassador to China?
Brooks: and Donald Trump
Gregory: wow!
Brooks: I’m mocking you Fluffy
Gregory: so who is a serious candidate?
Brook: John Thune - he’s so dreamy looking!
Gregory: can Obama lose?
Halperin: yes when he screws up Egypt by excessively supporting democracy
Gregory: ha journalists are thin-skinned and demanding and that’s Meet The Press
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Bobby Schilling - (R-IL)
Kasim Reed - (D-Mayor Atlanta)
Dee Dee Myers
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
********************************
Gregory: holy shit after 18 days of protests
Mubarak quit
Engel: things are returning back to normal in Cairo
Gregory: amazing
Engel: doctors, lawyers and even police are demonstrating demanding an end to corrupt outdated institutions like the state internal
security ministry and cable news
Gregory: oh dear
Engel: the army suspended the constitution, dissolved the parliament and took over the country
Gregory: now I feel better
Gregory: it seems like reform is sweeping the middle east
Indyk: Qadaffi could be next - fancy epaulets
only take you so far
Gregory: did Tweetdeck bring down a dictator?
Wright: the young cyber-generation are bringing down the powerful and now they have to govern
Gregory: this is what terrifies me
Indyk: forget the Muslim Brotherhood
- do we want to be governed by a bunch of iPod-hooked teenagers??
Gregory: what about Iran?
Wright: Iran says it supports the Egyptian protesters and it shows it by shooting Iranian protesters
Gregory: Republicans have raised doubts
about Obama
Audience: that is shocking indeed
Gregory: welcome Mr. Speaker
Boehner: thanks
Gregory: does the GOP think Obama pushed Mubarak out too fast?
Boehner: we need to support freedom
Gregory: Rick Santorum doesn’t think so
Boehner: well he’s an idiot
Gregory: so you don’t like Murbarak?
Boehner: we need to listen to people crying
out for freedom
[ starts crying ]
Gregory: I see
Boehner: they’re crying for freedom fluffy [ sobs ]
Gregory: what does worry you?
Boehner: we can’t support violent crazy radicals who don’t supports right or democracy
Gregory: we’ll get to the tea party later
Gregory: what makes you think the Egyptians are ready for democracy?
Boehner: I believe freedom and low taxes are a god-given right
Gregory: Obama didn’t see this coming!
Boehner: well nobody’s perfect
Gregory: but aren’t you terribly disappointed?
Boehner: no
Gregory: jesus fucking christ who do I have to invite on to get someone to bash Obama?!?!?
Boehner: sobs
Gregory: the tea party is mad at you
Boehner: I know! [ sniffles ]
Gregory: will you at least fulfill your pledge to cut $100 billion from the budget?
Boehner: yes whatever shuts those loons up
Gregory: will you cut critical programs and damage the recovery
Boehner: when are we going to get serious about cutting spending?
Gregory: ok get serious and cut the defense budget
Boehner: Obama’s excessive spending causes unemployment
Gregory: oh I see
Boehner: we must cut spending now!
Gregory: won’t that cause another recession?
Boehner: no cutting spending will create jobs
Gregory: how does that work?
Boehner: because businesses will see Washington get serious about the debt and hire the people their business needs
Gregory: um yeah
Boehner: After big spending under Reagan, Bush I, Bush II it’s finally time to cut spending
Gregory: so cut Social Security!
Boehner: look David you and I both want to cut Social Security but not every Americans realize it’s necessary and it’s up to you and I educate them
Gregory: I’m on it
Gregory: shouldn’t the government get out of mortgage business?
Boehner: damm right
Gregory: won’t that collapse the housing market?
Boehner: it would have before but recent experience shows that the private sector can handle the private mortgage market
Gregory: Do you believe Obama is from Kenya
Boehner: he could be
Gregory: shouldn’t you stand up to utter ignorance?
Boehner: it’s not our job to tell people to the truth - we have to listen to the American people
Gregory: interesting perspective
Boehner: look people read a lot of things it’s not our job to traffic in truth
Gregory: Is your party trying to convince people Obama is Kenyan-Muslim-Marxist
Boehner: no I’m trying to convince people he borrows-and-spends so much he is almost as bad Reagan, George Bush or George W Bush
Boehner: you say people in Washington are trying to snuff out the American dream
Boehner: right
Gregory: but you’re Speaker of the House
Boehner: technically
Gregory: Rep. Chris Lee resigned because he put a shirtless picture of himself on the Internet
Boehner: Shitless Rep in Tasteless Move
Gregory: heh
Boehner: we will not tolerate immorality in the party that does not involve passing out checks from lobbyists on the House floor
Gregory: isn’t Obama doomed?
Boehner: you have persuaded me Fluffy
Gregory: who is the front runner in the GOP race in 2012 out of Romney, Huckabee, Palin and Paul?
Boehner: good god - hopefully someone else will come forward
Gregory: what do you need in a candidate?
Boehner: someone who can spout bullshit
really skillfully
Gregory: what about the tea party
Boehner: I love those gun-toting lunatics
[ break ]
Gregory: let us turn to our Egypt expert David Books
Brooks: John Boehner supports Obama which means he must have really screwed up
Halperin: Iran terrifies me
Gregory: what terrifies you pizza man?
Schilling: I am terrified of war with Israel and pineapple toppings
Gregory: If you are not Boehner’s clone whose
clone are you
Schilling: I created by cross-fertilizing the DNA of Ronald Reagan and Ayn Rand
Gregory: the leaders are already compromising on the promises they made to the tea party -
are you furious?
Schilling: no they gave me a key to the Congressional bathroom and I folded
like a cheap suit
Gregory: you get one of those anyway
Schilling: oh
Reed: we need be honest about spending
Gregory: there’s a split between Big Spenders and Cutters
Myers: the real split is in the Republican party between the Crazy and Corporate
Brooks: these brave brave Republicans are cutting important programs but aren’t really willing to cut anything big
Schilling: I’m sick of tired of the direction of this nation since we elected a Democrat President
Gregory: so what do you want
Schilling: we must cut entitlements!
Gregory: like what specifically
Schilling: I don’t know that’s not my job -
I’m a small businessman
Gregory: But you’re in Congress now
Schilling: I am - holy shit
Halperin: with all due respect to the Congressman he’s an idiot
Brooks: I have good news - there are some people in Congress willing to eliminate Social Security
Gregory: thank god
Reed: just cut it already so we can prepare
Gregory: Ron Paul won the CPAC 2012 straw poll!
Halperin: It’s between Gingrich, Romney Huckabee and
“Unnamed Not Crazy Person”
Myers: the GOP nomination always goes the Respectable White Male which is Mitt Romney but this is not your father’s GOP
Schilling: The Tea Party is going demand an insane nominee
Gregory: can Obama win if unemployment is still high?
Reed: yeah he will probably have to
Gregory: how about Jeb Bush and Obama’s Ambassador to China?
Brooks: and Donald Trump
Gregory: wow!
Brooks: I’m mocking you Fluffy
Gregory: so who is a serious candidate?
Brook: John Thune - he’s so dreamy looking!
Gregory: can Obama lose?
Halperin: yes when he screws up Egypt by excessively supporting democracy
Gregory: ha journalists are thin-skinned and demanding and that’s Meet The Press
Sunday, February 06, 2011
Meet The Press - February 6, 2011
Guests:
Mohamed Elbaradei
Sameh Shoukry - Egypt Amb. to U.S.
Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
James Baker
Peggy Noonan
Willie Brown
Andrea Mitchell
******************************
Gregory: Mohamed is it your position that
Mubarak must leave?
Elbaradei: no he can stay in Egypt after he
resigns in humiliation
Gregory: so you’re saying he has to leave Egypt
Elbaradei: no Fluffy - I’m saying he has to cede power gradually before I’m elected President
Gregory: will you bash Obama for me
Elbaradei: he should support basic human rights like democracy, freedom and access to Facebook
Gregory: should Americans be terrified of Arab democracy?
Elbaradei: yes if you are scared of democracy all across the Middle East because it’s coming baby
Gregory: aaarrrhhhhh!!!
Elbaradei: I was being sarcastic and you are
an insult to 300 million people
Gregory: sorry I love Arabs
Elbaradei: I was referring to Americans
Gregory: what abut the peace treaty with Israel?
Elbaradei: not unless they establish a
Palestinian state
Gregory: OMG you’re going to start a war!!!
Elbaradei: make of that whatever you want
[ break ]
Gregory: Ambasador is this an unstoppable revolution?
Shoukry: well it’s very nice
Gregory: but you can never go back again
Shoukry: true enough
Gregory: when will Mubarak quit?
Shoukry: I don’t know - he’s gotten really weird lately
Gregory: like how
Shoukry: he just goes on and on about what a
freak Steven Tyler is
Gregory: Obama says he should quit now
Shoukry: Regardless you’re not getting Simon Cowell back
Gregory: I meant Mubarak
Shoukry: oh that -- yes but Obama also said this is an Egyptian problem so really Mubarak might
as well stay
Gregory: Mubarak unleashed goon squads on journalists!
Shoukry: we’re going to investigate our thugs and why they fucked up - I tell that would never happened in the old days
Gregory: with all due respect that’s ridiculous
Shoukry: bite me Fluffy
Gregory: Should Americans be terrified of
Muslim democracy?
Shoukry: if you’re a normal person no --
but if you watch a lot of Fox news then yes
Gregory: thanks buddy
[ break ]
Gregory: what do you think of Egypt John
Kerry: it’s awesome - they’re lifting the state of emergency which will allow people to meet at a café which as well all know is a prelude to democracy
Starbucks: darn right
Obama: Mubarak should leave
Wisner: it’s critical for Mubarak to stay
Gregory: wha?
Kerry: Obama is flooding the zone with
Germans and Turks!!
Gregory: holy crap!
Kerry: we want orderly change
Gregory: when?
Kerry: now!
Gregory: when will that happen
Kerry: it is happening as we speak Greggers
Gregory: but what minute of hour of what day?
Kerry: um you know Egypt isn’t actually part
of the United States
Gregory: why do you hate America-Egypt
Kerry: elections don’t bring democracy - look at Bush v. Gore
Gregory: How is it possible that Obama didn’t see everything happening in Egypt!?
Kerry: because fuck you
Gregory: that hurts John
Kerry: the whole revolution happened on Facebook and Twitter - only weirdos and losers are on those
Gregory: I’m on both all the time
Kerry: well there you go then
[ break ]
Gregory: I’m here at a shrine to Ronald Reagan -- look at that big airplane and this historic piece
of furniture!
Audience: woo hoo
Gregory: James Baker you’re a lawyer from Texas - so tell us about Egypt
Baker: if one-party rule is good enough for Texas it should be good enough for Egypt
Gregory: But shouldn’t we petrified of
democracy there??
Baker: the radicals are frightening
Gregory: damm hippies
Baker: I meant the neocons
Gregory: let’s bash Obama!
Mitchell: Fluffy the last thing the region needs is for America to be seen as installing a government
Gregory: oh
Mitchell: they are getting every nation to pile on Mubarak and it’s working
Gregory: god I loved it when Reagan said tear down this wall and Gorby ignored him for 2 years
Noonan: so awesome
Gregory: doesn’t this mean Obama is a total failure compared to Reagan?
Noonan: Fluffy even I think that’s stupid
Brown: America fuck yeah!
Gregory: let us now all celebrate Reagan
Noonan: Regan deepened faith in government
Audience: of course he did
Noonan: everyone was optimistic when Reagan was President - even homeless veterans with aids dreamed of financing fancy German-made cardboard boxes with junk bonds
Gregory: what a glorious time it was
Gregory: James Baker will you please bash
Barack Obama for me
Baker: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: But Reagan torn down the Manila Wall !!
Baker: Gregory you’re not the solution to our problems - you are the problem
Gregory: wasn’t Reagan right when he said government sucks and proved it for 8 years
Brown: yes but he had practice wrecking
California before that
Gregory: he raised taxes too though
Mitchell: conservative lunatics now all want to be Reagan - but he compromised with Democrats all the time
Noonan: In 1964 Regan bravely explained civil rights were a Soviet plot
Gregory: what would Saint Ronnie think of the
Tea Party?
Baker: he would love it but they would hate him because Reagan was all about bipartisanship
Gregory: really?
Baker: he knew when to hold ‘em and fold ‘em
Gregory: he was like Kenny Rogers without the chicken
Baker: Working in Hollywood prepared him for dealing scum and villany around the world
Gregory: ha ha ha Newsweek says Obama loves Reagan
Brown: Obama failed because of all those loser progressives
Gregory: honestly were deregulation and deficits such great ideas?
Baker: those never happened
Gregory: Obama said we should do big things - That’s So Reagan
Noonan: look here’s where the bullet bounced
right off Reagan
Gregory: wow
Gregory: and here’s that famous line after the Challenger explosion
Noonan: yes that’s from a wonderful famous poem
Gregory: what - I’m so disillusioned
Noonan: sorry Greggers
Gregory: and we will have 7 more hours of Reagan coverage today
Audience: it’s the SuperBowl of Adulation
****************************************
Mohamed Elbaradei
Sameh Shoukry - Egypt Amb. to U.S.
Sen. John Kerry (D-MA)
James Baker
Peggy Noonan
Willie Brown
Andrea Mitchell
******************************
Gregory: Mohamed is it your position that
Mubarak must leave?
Elbaradei: no he can stay in Egypt after he
resigns in humiliation
Gregory: so you’re saying he has to leave Egypt
Elbaradei: no Fluffy - I’m saying he has to cede power gradually before I’m elected President
Gregory: will you bash Obama for me
Elbaradei: he should support basic human rights like democracy, freedom and access to Facebook
Gregory: should Americans be terrified of Arab democracy?
Elbaradei: yes if you are scared of democracy all across the Middle East because it’s coming baby
Gregory: aaarrrhhhhh!!!
Elbaradei: I was being sarcastic and you are
an insult to 300 million people
Gregory: sorry I love Arabs
Elbaradei: I was referring to Americans
Gregory: what abut the peace treaty with Israel?
Elbaradei: not unless they establish a
Palestinian state
Gregory: OMG you’re going to start a war!!!
Elbaradei: make of that whatever you want
[ break ]
Gregory: Ambasador is this an unstoppable revolution?
Shoukry: well it’s very nice
Gregory: but you can never go back again
Shoukry: true enough
Gregory: when will Mubarak quit?
Shoukry: I don’t know - he’s gotten really weird lately
Gregory: like how
Shoukry: he just goes on and on about what a
freak Steven Tyler is
Gregory: Obama says he should quit now
Shoukry: Regardless you’re not getting Simon Cowell back
Gregory: I meant Mubarak
Shoukry: oh that -- yes but Obama also said this is an Egyptian problem so really Mubarak might
as well stay
Gregory: Mubarak unleashed goon squads on journalists!
Shoukry: we’re going to investigate our thugs and why they fucked up - I tell that would never happened in the old days
Gregory: with all due respect that’s ridiculous
Shoukry: bite me Fluffy
Gregory: Should Americans be terrified of
Muslim democracy?
Shoukry: if you’re a normal person no --
but if you watch a lot of Fox news then yes
Gregory: thanks buddy
[ break ]
Gregory: what do you think of Egypt John
Kerry: it’s awesome - they’re lifting the state of emergency which will allow people to meet at a café which as well all know is a prelude to democracy
Starbucks: darn right
Obama: Mubarak should leave
Wisner: it’s critical for Mubarak to stay
Gregory: wha?
Kerry: Obama is flooding the zone with
Germans and Turks!!
Gregory: holy crap!
Kerry: we want orderly change
Gregory: when?
Kerry: now!
Gregory: when will that happen
Kerry: it is happening as we speak Greggers
Gregory: but what minute of hour of what day?
Kerry: um you know Egypt isn’t actually part
of the United States
Gregory: why do you hate America-Egypt
Kerry: elections don’t bring democracy - look at Bush v. Gore
Gregory: How is it possible that Obama didn’t see everything happening in Egypt!?
Kerry: because fuck you
Gregory: that hurts John
Kerry: the whole revolution happened on Facebook and Twitter - only weirdos and losers are on those
Gregory: I’m on both all the time
Kerry: well there you go then
[ break ]
Gregory: I’m here at a shrine to Ronald Reagan -- look at that big airplane and this historic piece
of furniture!
Audience: woo hoo
Gregory: James Baker you’re a lawyer from Texas - so tell us about Egypt
Baker: if one-party rule is good enough for Texas it should be good enough for Egypt
Gregory: But shouldn’t we petrified of
democracy there??
Baker: the radicals are frightening
Gregory: damm hippies
Baker: I meant the neocons
Gregory: let’s bash Obama!
Mitchell: Fluffy the last thing the region needs is for America to be seen as installing a government
Gregory: oh
Mitchell: they are getting every nation to pile on Mubarak and it’s working
Gregory: god I loved it when Reagan said tear down this wall and Gorby ignored him for 2 years
Noonan: so awesome
Gregory: doesn’t this mean Obama is a total failure compared to Reagan?
Noonan: Fluffy even I think that’s stupid
Brown: America fuck yeah!
Gregory: let us now all celebrate Reagan
Noonan: Regan deepened faith in government
Audience: of course he did
Noonan: everyone was optimistic when Reagan was President - even homeless veterans with aids dreamed of financing fancy German-made cardboard boxes with junk bonds
Gregory: what a glorious time it was
Gregory: James Baker will you please bash
Barack Obama for me
Baker: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: But Reagan torn down the Manila Wall !!
Baker: Gregory you’re not the solution to our problems - you are the problem
Gregory: wasn’t Reagan right when he said government sucks and proved it for 8 years
Brown: yes but he had practice wrecking
California before that
Gregory: he raised taxes too though
Mitchell: conservative lunatics now all want to be Reagan - but he compromised with Democrats all the time
Noonan: In 1964 Regan bravely explained civil rights were a Soviet plot
Gregory: what would Saint Ronnie think of the
Tea Party?
Baker: he would love it but they would hate him because Reagan was all about bipartisanship
Gregory: really?
Baker: he knew when to hold ‘em and fold ‘em
Gregory: he was like Kenny Rogers without the chicken
Baker: Working in Hollywood prepared him for dealing scum and villany around the world
Gregory: ha ha ha Newsweek says Obama loves Reagan
Brown: Obama failed because of all those loser progressives
Gregory: honestly were deregulation and deficits such great ideas?
Baker: those never happened
Gregory: Obama said we should do big things - That’s So Reagan
Noonan: look here’s where the bullet bounced
right off Reagan
Gregory: wow
Gregory: and here’s that famous line after the Challenger explosion
Noonan: yes that’s from a wonderful famous poem
Gregory: what - I’m so disillusioned
Noonan: sorry Greggers
Gregory: and we will have 7 more hours of Reagan coverage today
Audience: it’s the SuperBowl of Adulation
****************************************
This Week with Christiane Amanpour - February 6, 2011
Guests:
Omar Suleiman - V.P of Egypt
Sameh Shoukry: Egypt Amb. to U.S.
*********************************
Amanpour: it’s been an epic week in Egypt and we’ve got all the major players on the show today
Audience: yay
Amanpour: all the protesters were optimistic -
they are singing and yelling against the government for the first time in 30 years
Protester: suck it Mubarak!
Amanpour: then we ran into pro-authoritarian protesters who fear chaos
Pro-mubarak protester: damm hippies
Protester: Mubarak has done a lot of good
but he’s become a tragic figure
Murbarak: send in the camels!
Protesters: to the paving stones!
Thugs: go away journalists!
Protesters: we’re not leaving!
[ break ]
Amanpour: Hosni will you quit?
Mubarak: I’m fed up and I want to retire
Amanpour: so why don’t you?
Mubarak: I can’t my pension was with Bear Stearns!
Amanpour: hey protesters I met with Mubarak
Protestors: omg what did he say
Amanpour: he said he already met your demands
Protestor: what a dick
[ break ]
Amanpour: you are meeting the opposition parties?
Suleiman: right
Amanpour: including Elbaradei?
Suleiman: no he’s too popular
Amanpour: will you transition to true democracy?
Suleiman: we will if you do
Amanpour: Murbark wants to quit but he
doesn’t want to rush it
Suleiman: things are too chaotic right now
Amanpour: will you run for President?
Suleiman: hell no that’s a thankless job
Amanpour: why not
Suleiman: please I want to keep my head
Amanpour: what is going on in the streets of the Middle East?
Suleiman: that’s all outside agitators
Amanpour: you can’t really believe that
Suleiman: yes - all foreigners with their sinister ideas about free speech
Amanpour: but now the youth have the Internet
Suleiman: they are being instigated by vicious outsiders like Israel and Mark Zuckerberg
Amanpour: Do you even believe in democracy?
Suleiman: for sure someday - like in 30 years
Amanpour: what do you want from the opposition?
Suleiman: Patience - give us 5 more years of ignoring them
Amanpour: what message do you have for the people in Tahrir Square?
Suleiman: go away
Amanpour: thanks very much
[ break ]
Amanpour: So the government is now meeting
with the Muslim Brotherhood
Shoukry: yes but it shouldn’t go to their heads
Amanpour: what happens now?
Shoukry: before fleeing for their lives government officials needs to steal everything not nailed down
Amanpour: Obama said you guys should
try democracy
Shoukry: true but he also said Egyptians have to solve this on their which we took to mean dictators are still cool
Amanpour: you have had a State of Emergency
for decades
Shoukry: right but a week of protests prove everything is fine now
Amanpour: why were journalists purposefully attacked?
Shoukry: that’s terrible but you know as Rumsfeld says democracy is messy
Amanpour: protestors were also beaten and shot
Shoukry: well emotions were running high
Amanpour: thanks a bunch Ambassador
Amanpour: Mubarak told me he never intended for his idiot son become President
George H. W. Bush: hey neither did I
Tapper: ha ha Obama didn’t see all the protests
in Egypt coming
Mubarak: um yeah what an idiot
Tapper: ha silly Obama -- all focused on the
State of the Union
Biden: I like Mubarak- we play poker every Friday
Tapper: Obama told Mubarak to fire his cabinet and he did - ha clueless Obama
Clinton: there needs to be reform and an orderly transition
Obama: Hosni you can’t run again and you have
to quit
Mubarak: for reals Barack?
Tapper: ha Obama has critics who have their
doubts about him
Audience: oooh he’s not the messiah
Amanpour: What does the White House say now?
Tapper: they want elections to be held later so other groups can catch up to the Muslim Brotherhood
Audience: but I thought Obama was a secret Muslim
Tapper: he is - but Obama is part of the Brotherhood of Muslims -- they hate those fake splitters the Muslim Brotherhood
Audience: I see
Amanpour: in other news the government has lifted the ban on text messaging
Tapper: lol r u on twitter #sillyobama
***************************************
Omar Suleiman - V.P of Egypt
Sameh Shoukry: Egypt Amb. to U.S.
*********************************
Amanpour: it’s been an epic week in Egypt and we’ve got all the major players on the show today
Audience: yay
Amanpour: all the protesters were optimistic -
they are singing and yelling against the government for the first time in 30 years
Protester: suck it Mubarak!
Amanpour: then we ran into pro-authoritarian protesters who fear chaos
Pro-mubarak protester: damm hippies
Protester: Mubarak has done a lot of good
but he’s become a tragic figure
Murbarak: send in the camels!
Protesters: to the paving stones!
Thugs: go away journalists!
Protesters: we’re not leaving!
[ break ]
Amanpour: Hosni will you quit?
Mubarak: I’m fed up and I want to retire
Amanpour: so why don’t you?
Mubarak: I can’t my pension was with Bear Stearns!
Amanpour: hey protesters I met with Mubarak
Protestors: omg what did he say
Amanpour: he said he already met your demands
Protestor: what a dick
[ break ]
Amanpour: you are meeting the opposition parties?
Suleiman: right
Amanpour: including Elbaradei?
Suleiman: no he’s too popular
Amanpour: will you transition to true democracy?
Suleiman: we will if you do
Amanpour: Murbark wants to quit but he
doesn’t want to rush it
Suleiman: things are too chaotic right now
Amanpour: will you run for President?
Suleiman: hell no that’s a thankless job
Amanpour: why not
Suleiman: please I want to keep my head
Amanpour: what is going on in the streets of the Middle East?
Suleiman: that’s all outside agitators
Amanpour: you can’t really believe that
Suleiman: yes - all foreigners with their sinister ideas about free speech
Amanpour: but now the youth have the Internet
Suleiman: they are being instigated by vicious outsiders like Israel and Mark Zuckerberg
Amanpour: Do you even believe in democracy?
Suleiman: for sure someday - like in 30 years
Amanpour: what do you want from the opposition?
Suleiman: Patience - give us 5 more years of ignoring them
Amanpour: what message do you have for the people in Tahrir Square?
Suleiman: go away
Amanpour: thanks very much
[ break ]
Amanpour: So the government is now meeting
with the Muslim Brotherhood
Shoukry: yes but it shouldn’t go to their heads
Amanpour: what happens now?
Shoukry: before fleeing for their lives government officials needs to steal everything not nailed down
Amanpour: Obama said you guys should
try democracy
Shoukry: true but he also said Egyptians have to solve this on their which we took to mean dictators are still cool
Amanpour: you have had a State of Emergency
for decades
Shoukry: right but a week of protests prove everything is fine now
Amanpour: why were journalists purposefully attacked?
Shoukry: that’s terrible but you know as Rumsfeld says democracy is messy
Amanpour: protestors were also beaten and shot
Shoukry: well emotions were running high
Amanpour: thanks a bunch Ambassador
Amanpour: Mubarak told me he never intended for his idiot son become President
George H. W. Bush: hey neither did I
Tapper: ha ha Obama didn’t see all the protests
in Egypt coming
Mubarak: um yeah what an idiot
Tapper: ha silly Obama -- all focused on the
State of the Union
Biden: I like Mubarak- we play poker every Friday
Tapper: Obama told Mubarak to fire his cabinet and he did - ha clueless Obama
Clinton: there needs to be reform and an orderly transition
Obama: Hosni you can’t run again and you have
to quit
Mubarak: for reals Barack?
Tapper: ha Obama has critics who have their
doubts about him
Audience: oooh he’s not the messiah
Amanpour: What does the White House say now?
Tapper: they want elections to be held later so other groups can catch up to the Muslim Brotherhood
Audience: but I thought Obama was a secret Muslim
Tapper: he is - but Obama is part of the Brotherhood of Muslims -- they hate those fake splitters the Muslim Brotherhood
Audience: I see
Amanpour: in other news the government has lifted the ban on text messaging
Tapper: lol r u on twitter #sillyobama
***************************************
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Meet The Press - January 30, 2011
Guests:
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Sec. of State
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-Minority Leader)
Martin Indyk
Richard Engel
Tom Friedman
Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford
Chuck Todd
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
************************************
Gregory: Good morning - Hosni Mubarak still
clings to power in the face of massive protests
Gregory: Hillary is Mubarak really responding to the will of the people?
Clinton: you have to distinguish between protesters and those fucking looters
Gregory: Is Mubarak stable?
Clinton: I’m not a psychiatrist David
Gregory: what does the U.S. want?
Clinton: an orderly transition to democracy or whatever keeps that damn canal open
Gregory: are you calling for free and fair elections
Clinton: we always have Greggers
Gregory: but do you really mean it this time
Clinton: that’s up to the Egyptian people
Gregory: yes but you could make him leave
if you wanted to
Clinton: our position is very clear - we live in a Twitter and Facebook world now and people demand freedom, democracy and a Starbucks
with WiFi
Gregory: can we keep Murbarak in power?
Clinton: fuck that Fluffy - we need to respond to
the needs of the people!
Gregory: neato
Clinton: we need to stage in an Intervention -
this guy is totally out of control!
Gregory: but Hosni has always been good to us
Clinton: I was talking about Charlie Sheen
Gregory: Why not just install Murbarak in an apartment in Brooklyn?
Clinton: well he can live peacefully alongside Jews
Gregory: Do you want him in power?
Clinton: stop putting words in my mouth Fluffers
Gregory: sorry
Clinton: we want real democracy not hipster faux-democracy
Gregory: Are Americans in danger?
Clinton: we’re working triple-time on that gregg
[ break ]
Gregory: what the holy hell is happening Rich?
Engel: fighter jets, angry crowds, looting -
it’s like a SuperBowl here
Gregory: I see
Engel: also there’s a total collapse of Law & Order
Gregory: where’s Jerry Orbach when you need him
Engel: also the army may be planning a coup
Gregory: amazing
Engel: the government is encouraging looting and violence and lawlessness to punish the people
Gregory: oh I’m sure that will work
[ break ]
Gregory: Mitch what is your reaction to what is happening in Egypt
McConnell: Republicans love ships in the Suez and Israel so we love Mubarak
Gregory: but you also called for democracy
McConnell: yes we have asked for this for 30 years
Gregory: if only you had some sway over him like money or something
Gregory: will you recognize a government run by the Muslim Brotherhood
McConnell: hell no
Gregory: what mistakes is Obama making?
McConnell: he’s doing what Republicans would do in a crisis - nothing
Gregory: but we give Egypt over a billion dollars a year
McConnell: yes but need access to the pyramids
to communicate with Seti Alpha 5
Gregory: do the lunatics in the tea party drive the GOP?
McConnell: there are no divisions in the Republican party - Democrats are the ones with all the problems!
Gregory: oh
McConnell: Democrats drove up the deficit and lost million of jobs
Gregory: your reality is quite fascinating
McConnell: thank you
Gregory: will you make big cuts to Social Security?
McConnell: no - we will just cut domestic spending enough now to prevent an economic recovery and get Mitt Romney elected in 2012
Gregory: I see
McConnell: we won’t touch entitlements unless the Democrats do it first
Gregory: you expect Obama to do it without you
McConnell: yes we will very bold - when he acts first
Gregory: will you shut down the government?
McConnell: we have an awesome opportunity to cut spending after not doing anything when Republicans were President
Gregory: so shut the government down or not?
McConnell: give me a fucking break - you try negotiating with that fucking catbird Obama on one side and Rand Paul on the other
Gregory: I hear ya Mitch
McConnell: aw fuck it I love you to man
[ starts sobbing ]
[ they hug ]
Gregory: look at Tweetdeck!!
Indyk: this is a 21st Century revolution - Twitter
and Facebook will bring down dictators all over the region
Gregory: holy crap
Indyk: Shit's gettin' real
Gregory: this guy won Survivor but can he win The Amazing Race?
Indyk: no he’s totally fucked
Gregory: what does this do to Middle East peace?
Indyk: no one knows what the hell is going on
Gregory: Thanks Marty -- Tom what is going there?
Friedman: because Egypt was such a good friend on terror and Israel we gave him a pass on the whole dictator thing
Gregory: and torture
Friedman: actually that was a plus
Gregory: can Mubarak stay?
Friedman: they need get their heads out of the sand and join the 21st century
Gregory: sounds like a plan
Friedman: this dude had 30 years to fix his country and he totally fucked it up
Gregory: wow that is not like America at all
Gregory: I am very scared of Islamic terrorists
Friedman: when you open the lid on a scary society like this you seen anger and rage
Gregory: aaaaaaaaack!!
Friedman: it’s frightening
Gregory: what should Obama do now?
Friedman: Announce that we support peace, democracy
and Facebook
Gregory: did this revolution surprise you?
Friedman: No my taxi driver in Davos told me it was going to happen
Gregory: oh he was from Egypt?
Friedman: no it was Tom Delay
Gregory: Panel look at this crazy Twitter feed!
Todd: the White House is busy following accounts on twitter #whatthehellisgoingon
Kay: Obama read Mubarak the riot act
Murphy: people in the Middle East want freedom and democracy which means of course they hate America
Ford: these young middle class professionals are angry - they should have had the foresight to be born into a rich connected family
Gregory: this is a real test for Obama!
Todd: except Egypt is not actually in America
Gregory: not technically perhaps
Kay: these protests could show that you don’t have to choose between dictatorship and terrorism
Murphy: true but eventually scary Muslims will probably take over - think Kerensky
Ford: Oh fuck Kerensky - it’s all about tumbldeck and Facetweet and Mysquare and Grouplinkd!!
Gregory: are those real?
Ford: who the fuck cares?
Gregory: Obama reinvented his Presidency in his State of the Union
Todd: Obama will merge two cabinet departments
Gregory: which ones?
Todd: Commerce and Housing &
Urban Development
Gregory: C.H.U.D
Todd: right
Gregory: Republicans want see Social Security destroyed - they just want Obama to do it for them
Murphy: Obama needs to jump off a cliff for the
good of America
Gregory: Independents hate spending
Ford: Obama needs to cut Social Security
Gregory: so we’re all agreed - Obama must take steps to guarantee his defeat
Ford: yes - that and create some jobs
Kay: Unemployment will still be high in 2012 - but if Obama cuts entitlements he may be reelected cause Independents love that
Gregory: right
Todd: the GOP have abandoned jobs in favor of banning gun-free gay abortions in downtown Washington DC
Gregory: interesting
Gregory: why doesn’t Mitt Romney announce already?
Murphy: he’s playing it cool
Todd: Romney you can’t skip Iowa - those farmers will gut you with their folksy pitchforks
Ford: the best thing politicians can do now is slash their budgets - people love that
Gregory: of course
Ford: the Egypt crisis is good for Romney
Gregory: he is a bit dim but he’s a serious white
man with big shoulders
Ford: that’s what we need
Gregory: speaking of that next week we celebrate the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan
**********************
Hillary Clinton - U.S. Sec. of State
Sen. Mitch McConnell - (R-Minority Leader)
Martin Indyk
Richard Engel
Tom Friedman
Fmr. Rep. Harold Ford
Chuck Todd
Katty Kay
Mike Murphy
************************************
Gregory: Good morning - Hosni Mubarak still
clings to power in the face of massive protests
Gregory: Hillary is Mubarak really responding to the will of the people?
Clinton: you have to distinguish between protesters and those fucking looters
Gregory: Is Mubarak stable?
Clinton: I’m not a psychiatrist David
Gregory: what does the U.S. want?
Clinton: an orderly transition to democracy or whatever keeps that damn canal open
Gregory: are you calling for free and fair elections
Clinton: we always have Greggers
Gregory: but do you really mean it this time
Clinton: that’s up to the Egyptian people
Gregory: yes but you could make him leave
if you wanted to
Clinton: our position is very clear - we live in a Twitter and Facebook world now and people demand freedom, democracy and a Starbucks
with WiFi
Gregory: can we keep Murbarak in power?
Clinton: fuck that Fluffy - we need to respond to
the needs of the people!
Gregory: neato
Clinton: we need to stage in an Intervention -
this guy is totally out of control!
Gregory: but Hosni has always been good to us
Clinton: I was talking about Charlie Sheen
Gregory: Why not just install Murbarak in an apartment in Brooklyn?
Clinton: well he can live peacefully alongside Jews
Gregory: Do you want him in power?
Clinton: stop putting words in my mouth Fluffers
Gregory: sorry
Clinton: we want real democracy not hipster faux-democracy
Gregory: Are Americans in danger?
Clinton: we’re working triple-time on that gregg
[ break ]
Gregory: what the holy hell is happening Rich?
Engel: fighter jets, angry crowds, looting -
it’s like a SuperBowl here
Gregory: I see
Engel: also there’s a total collapse of Law & Order
Gregory: where’s Jerry Orbach when you need him
Engel: also the army may be planning a coup
Gregory: amazing
Engel: the government is encouraging looting and violence and lawlessness to punish the people
Gregory: oh I’m sure that will work
[ break ]
Gregory: Mitch what is your reaction to what is happening in Egypt
McConnell: Republicans love ships in the Suez and Israel so we love Mubarak
Gregory: but you also called for democracy
McConnell: yes we have asked for this for 30 years
Gregory: if only you had some sway over him like money or something
Gregory: will you recognize a government run by the Muslim Brotherhood
McConnell: hell no
Gregory: what mistakes is Obama making?
McConnell: he’s doing what Republicans would do in a crisis - nothing
Gregory: but we give Egypt over a billion dollars a year
McConnell: yes but need access to the pyramids
to communicate with Seti Alpha 5
Gregory: do the lunatics in the tea party drive the GOP?
McConnell: there are no divisions in the Republican party - Democrats are the ones with all the problems!
Gregory: oh
McConnell: Democrats drove up the deficit and lost million of jobs
Gregory: your reality is quite fascinating
McConnell: thank you
Gregory: will you make big cuts to Social Security?
McConnell: no - we will just cut domestic spending enough now to prevent an economic recovery and get Mitt Romney elected in 2012
Gregory: I see
McConnell: we won’t touch entitlements unless the Democrats do it first
Gregory: you expect Obama to do it without you
McConnell: yes we will very bold - when he acts first
Gregory: will you shut down the government?
McConnell: we have an awesome opportunity to cut spending after not doing anything when Republicans were President
Gregory: so shut the government down or not?
McConnell: give me a fucking break - you try negotiating with that fucking catbird Obama on one side and Rand Paul on the other
Gregory: I hear ya Mitch
McConnell: aw fuck it I love you to man
[ starts sobbing ]
[ they hug ]
Gregory: look at Tweetdeck!!
Indyk: this is a 21st Century revolution - Twitter
and Facebook will bring down dictators all over the region
Gregory: holy crap
Indyk: Shit's gettin' real
Gregory: this guy won Survivor but can he win The Amazing Race?
Indyk: no he’s totally fucked
Gregory: what does this do to Middle East peace?
Indyk: no one knows what the hell is going on
Gregory: Thanks Marty -- Tom what is going there?
Friedman: because Egypt was such a good friend on terror and Israel we gave him a pass on the whole dictator thing
Gregory: and torture
Friedman: actually that was a plus
Gregory: can Mubarak stay?
Friedman: they need get their heads out of the sand and join the 21st century
Gregory: sounds like a plan
Friedman: this dude had 30 years to fix his country and he totally fucked it up
Gregory: wow that is not like America at all
Gregory: I am very scared of Islamic terrorists
Friedman: when you open the lid on a scary society like this you seen anger and rage
Gregory: aaaaaaaaack!!
Friedman: it’s frightening
Gregory: what should Obama do now?
Friedman: Announce that we support peace, democracy
and Facebook
Gregory: did this revolution surprise you?
Friedman: No my taxi driver in Davos told me it was going to happen
Gregory: oh he was from Egypt?
Friedman: no it was Tom Delay
Gregory: Panel look at this crazy Twitter feed!
Todd: the White House is busy following accounts on twitter #whatthehellisgoingon
Kay: Obama read Mubarak the riot act
Murphy: people in the Middle East want freedom and democracy which means of course they hate America
Ford: these young middle class professionals are angry - they should have had the foresight to be born into a rich connected family
Gregory: this is a real test for Obama!
Todd: except Egypt is not actually in America
Gregory: not technically perhaps
Kay: these protests could show that you don’t have to choose between dictatorship and terrorism
Murphy: true but eventually scary Muslims will probably take over - think Kerensky
Ford: Oh fuck Kerensky - it’s all about tumbldeck and Facetweet and Mysquare and Grouplinkd!!
Gregory: are those real?
Ford: who the fuck cares?
Gregory: Obama reinvented his Presidency in his State of the Union
Todd: Obama will merge two cabinet departments
Gregory: which ones?
Todd: Commerce and Housing &
Urban Development
Gregory: C.H.U.D
Todd: right
Gregory: Republicans want see Social Security destroyed - they just want Obama to do it for them
Murphy: Obama needs to jump off a cliff for the
good of America
Gregory: Independents hate spending
Ford: Obama needs to cut Social Security
Gregory: so we’re all agreed - Obama must take steps to guarantee his defeat
Ford: yes - that and create some jobs
Kay: Unemployment will still be high in 2012 - but if Obama cuts entitlements he may be reelected cause Independents love that
Gregory: right
Todd: the GOP have abandoned jobs in favor of banning gun-free gay abortions in downtown Washington DC
Gregory: interesting
Gregory: why doesn’t Mitt Romney announce already?
Murphy: he’s playing it cool
Todd: Romney you can’t skip Iowa - those farmers will gut you with their folksy pitchforks
Ford: the best thing politicians can do now is slash their budgets - people love that
Gregory: of course
Ford: the Egypt crisis is good for Romney
Gregory: he is a bit dim but he’s a serious white
man with big shoulders
Ford: that’s what we need
Gregory: speaking of that next week we celebrate the 100th birthday of Ronald Reagan
**********************
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