Guests:
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Bobby Schilling - (R-IL)
Kasim Reed - (D-Mayor Atlanta)
Dee Dee Myers
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
********************************
Gregory: holy shit after 18 days of protests
Mubarak quit
Engel: things are returning back to normal in Cairo
Gregory: amazing
Engel: doctors, lawyers and even police are demonstrating demanding an end to corrupt outdated institutions like the state internal
security ministry and cable news
Gregory: oh dear
Engel: the army suspended the constitution, dissolved the parliament and took over the country
Gregory: now I feel better
Gregory: it seems like reform is sweeping the middle east
Indyk: Qadaffi could be next - fancy epaulets
only take you so far
Gregory: did Tweetdeck bring down a dictator?
Wright: the young cyber-generation are bringing down the powerful and now they have to govern
Gregory: this is what terrifies me
Indyk: forget the Muslim Brotherhood
- do we want to be governed by a bunch of iPod-hooked teenagers??
Gregory: what about Iran?
Wright: Iran says it supports the Egyptian protesters and it shows it by shooting Iranian protesters
Gregory: Republicans have raised doubts
about Obama
Audience: that is shocking indeed
Gregory: welcome Mr. Speaker
Boehner: thanks
Gregory: does the GOP think Obama pushed Mubarak out too fast?
Boehner: we need to support freedom
Gregory: Rick Santorum doesn’t think so
Boehner: well he’s an idiot
Gregory: so you don’t like Murbarak?
Boehner: we need to listen to people crying
out for freedom
[ starts crying ]
Gregory: I see
Boehner: they’re crying for freedom fluffy [ sobs ]
Gregory: what does worry you?
Boehner: we can’t support violent crazy radicals who don’t supports right or democracy
Gregory: we’ll get to the tea party later
Gregory: what makes you think the Egyptians are ready for democracy?
Boehner: I believe freedom and low taxes are a god-given right
Gregory: Obama didn’t see this coming!
Boehner: well nobody’s perfect
Gregory: but aren’t you terribly disappointed?
Boehner: no
Gregory: jesus fucking christ who do I have to invite on to get someone to bash Obama?!?!?
Boehner: sobs
Gregory: the tea party is mad at you
Boehner: I know! [ sniffles ]
Gregory: will you at least fulfill your pledge to cut $100 billion from the budget?
Boehner: yes whatever shuts those loons up
Gregory: will you cut critical programs and damage the recovery
Boehner: when are we going to get serious about cutting spending?
Gregory: ok get serious and cut the defense budget
Boehner: Obama’s excessive spending causes unemployment
Gregory: oh I see
Boehner: we must cut spending now!
Gregory: won’t that cause another recession?
Boehner: no cutting spending will create jobs
Gregory: how does that work?
Boehner: because businesses will see Washington get serious about the debt and hire the people their business needs
Gregory: um yeah
Boehner: After big spending under Reagan, Bush I, Bush II it’s finally time to cut spending
Gregory: so cut Social Security!
Boehner: look David you and I both want to cut Social Security but not every Americans realize it’s necessary and it’s up to you and I educate them
Gregory: I’m on it
Gregory: shouldn’t the government get out of mortgage business?
Boehner: damm right
Gregory: won’t that collapse the housing market?
Boehner: it would have before but recent experience shows that the private sector can handle the private mortgage market
Gregory: Do you believe Obama is from Kenya
Boehner: he could be
Gregory: shouldn’t you stand up to utter ignorance?
Boehner: it’s not our job to tell people to the truth - we have to listen to the American people
Gregory: interesting perspective
Boehner: look people read a lot of things it’s not our job to traffic in truth
Gregory: Is your party trying to convince people Obama is Kenyan-Muslim-Marxist
Boehner: no I’m trying to convince people he borrows-and-spends so much he is almost as bad Reagan, George Bush or George W Bush
Boehner: you say people in Washington are trying to snuff out the American dream
Boehner: right
Gregory: but you’re Speaker of the House
Boehner: technically
Gregory: Rep. Chris Lee resigned because he put a shirtless picture of himself on the Internet
Boehner: Shitless Rep in Tasteless Move
Gregory: heh
Boehner: we will not tolerate immorality in the party that does not involve passing out checks from lobbyists on the House floor
Gregory: isn’t Obama doomed?
Boehner: you have persuaded me Fluffy
Gregory: who is the front runner in the GOP race in 2012 out of Romney, Huckabee, Palin and Paul?
Boehner: good god - hopefully someone else will come forward
Gregory: what do you need in a candidate?
Boehner: someone who can spout bullshit
really skillfully
Gregory: what about the tea party
Boehner: I love those gun-toting lunatics
[ break ]
Gregory: let us turn to our Egypt expert David Books
Brooks: John Boehner supports Obama which means he must have really screwed up
Halperin: Iran terrifies me
Gregory: what terrifies you pizza man?
Schilling: I am terrified of war with Israel and pineapple toppings
Gregory: If you are not Boehner’s clone whose
clone are you
Schilling: I created by cross-fertilizing the DNA of Ronald Reagan and Ayn Rand
Gregory: the leaders are already compromising on the promises they made to the tea party -
are you furious?
Schilling: no they gave me a key to the Congressional bathroom and I folded
like a cheap suit
Gregory: you get one of those anyway
Schilling: oh
Reed: we need be honest about spending
Gregory: there’s a split between Big Spenders and Cutters
Myers: the real split is in the Republican party between the Crazy and Corporate
Brooks: these brave brave Republicans are cutting important programs but aren’t really willing to cut anything big
Schilling: I’m sick of tired of the direction of this nation since we elected a Democrat President
Gregory: so what do you want
Schilling: we must cut entitlements!
Gregory: like what specifically
Schilling: I don’t know that’s not my job -
I’m a small businessman
Gregory: But you’re in Congress now
Schilling: I am - holy shit
Halperin: with all due respect to the Congressman he’s an idiot
Brooks: I have good news - there are some people in Congress willing to eliminate Social Security
Gregory: thank god
Reed: just cut it already so we can prepare
Gregory: Ron Paul won the CPAC 2012 straw poll!
Halperin: It’s between Gingrich, Romney Huckabee and
“Unnamed Not Crazy Person”
Myers: the GOP nomination always goes the Respectable White Male which is Mitt Romney but this is not your father’s GOP
Schilling: The Tea Party is going demand an insane nominee
Gregory: can Obama win if unemployment is still high?
Reed: yeah he will probably have to
Gregory: how about Jeb Bush and Obama’s Ambassador to China?
Brooks: and Donald Trump
Gregory: wow!
Brooks: I’m mocking you Fluffy
Gregory: so who is a serious candidate?
Brook: John Thune - he’s so dreamy looking!
Gregory: can Obama lose?
Halperin: yes when he screws up Egypt by excessively supporting democracy
Gregory: ha journalists are thin-skinned and demanding and that’s Meet The Press
Sunday, February 13, 2011
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