Host: Terry Moran
Guests:
Gov. Martin O’Malley (D-MD)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Steven Rattner
Mort Zuckerman
Gwen Ifill
George Will
*************************************
Moran: the economy is pretty sluggish Marty
O’Malley: we’re creating jobs -
more than George Bush ever did!
Moran: so you say
O’Malley: to create even more jobs we need to
get rid of this do-nothing Congress
Jindal: we’ve lost jobs since Obama was
sworn in OMG
O’Malley: yes mostly right after he took the oath
Jindal: Bill Clinton and Albert Einstein both say Obama shouldn’t be reelected!
Moran: Karl Rove says Barack Obama
caused the recession in 2007
O’Malley: Mitt Romney lost jobs in Massachusetts - why would elect him President?
Jindal: he’s handsome and successful and turned Massachusetts into a socialist paradise that would destroy America if we tried it nationally
O’Malley: a bunch of foreign Swiss bank accounts isn’t going to rescue America
Moran: But Obama hasn’t created jobs
O’Malley: Mitt is going to give the richest
people tax cuts so they can move their money
to the Cayman Islands
Moran: Bobby are tax cuts and deregulation
the answer to our problems?
Jindal: the national debt is very high!
Moran: we all know that
Jindal: Romney wants a flatter tax
O’Malley: you mean he wants to raise taxes
on the poor and cut them for the rich
Jindal: he also wants to build a giant oil pipeline across America so it can be sold to the Chinese
Moran: what is his plan to boost the economy?
Jindal: cut spending and take away
the right to health care
Moran: what else
Jindal: Romeny demands spending cuts and
also attack Obama for cutting Medicare
O’Malley: we can’t afford to go back to an
insane Tea Party government or the
GOP will destroy America
Jindal: George Bush was President 8 years ago!
Moran: um what
Jindal: Democrat want to run against Richard Nixon - well he’s dead - I think
Moran: what’s the deal with Romney’s
tax shelters in Bermuda?
Jindal: who among us doesn’t hide our vast wealth in secret bank accounts, in Luxembourg, Zurich
and the Caribbean?
O’Malley: most people in Baltimore keep a
rainy day account in Vaduz
Moran: yes I saw that in The Wire
Jindal: Obama promised he would cut
the deficit in half!
O’Malley: right like Republicans always cut the deficit
Jindal: Obama would make us like Europe!
O’Malley: good - maybe Mitt Romney’s
will come back here then
Moran: what’s the relevance to his
offshore accounts?
O’Malley: Mitt Romney bet against America
Jindal: Romney will go to war with China!
Moran: well that’s something to look forward to
[ break ]
Moran: where are the jobs
Will: we are in a “growth recession”
Zuckerman: we are dead broke and totally fucked
Rattner: the stimulus worked
Moran: this is clearly all Obama’s fault
Ifill: voters care about one thing - ‘what about me’
Dionne: of course the stimulus should have been bigger - but we cut government jobs and we added government jobs under Ronald Reagan
Will: pshaw!
Dionne: if the economy is so bad why is Obama winning? Because the GOP is toxic and Romney is a weird out-of-touch rich guy
Will: the stimulus was a religious act and like all religions Keynesism sucks
Rattner: that’s crap George - that money went to rescue state jobs
Zuckerman: those so-called jobs were
giveaways to unions
Ifill: both sides do it blah blah blah
Moran: I agree with your opinion on
both sides blah blah blah
Rattner: This is the worst Congress ever
Zuckerman: the President controls every single thing in this country
Will: Ronald Reagan proves that at some
point the entire nation will wake up and decide to vote for Mitt Romney
Dionne: Let me tell you something George --
Obama is not Jimmy Carter and Mitt is
no Ronald Reagan
Moran: should Mitt vacation on an exclusive
rich-guy compound?
Will: Romney’s best argument that he’s a good businessman and Obama is trying to make
that a bad thing
Rattner: I’m in private equity too - but who the hell has a $100 million offshore IRA??
Zuckerman: I think Mitt Romney can relate very well to problems of the average billionaire like me
Ifill: both sides blah blah blah
Dionne: they went after John Kerry for wind-surfing so yes secret bank accounts in
Monaco and Phuket are an issue
Zuckerman: Obama is such a terrible leader he
won’t even meet with Mitch McConnell!
Dionne: he has a policy against meeting with
people who make his skin crawl
Will: Obama won’t talk about health care
Ifill: actually for the first time he’s
defending Obamacare
Dionne: yes but weirdly Romney seems to have no position on health care
Moran: to be fair Romney has no position
on any thing
Zuckerman: Obamacare cost two million jobs - it will have a devastating effect on the non-sick wealthy!
Rattner: Romney can’t run a Presidential campaign - how the hell can he run the Executive branch
Will: that’s a good point - god what a loser
Dionne: Romney is trapped between the Tea Party and wanting to win this thing
Rattner: that’s not fair - Romney’s own ideas
are all terrible
Moran: is Chris Christie too fat to be Vice President
Zuckerman: it’s down to two exciting choices -
Rob Portman or Tim Pawlenty
Rattner: as long as he does not choose a
complete idiot he’ll be fine
McCain: oh now you tell me!
Dionne: Portman is the anti-Palin -
steady, accomplished and able to speak
in coherent sentences
Will: I have the seen the future of the Republican Party and it is Bobby Jindal and Paul Ryan
Moran: dear god
Moran: hey it’s really hot out -
is climate change real?
Dionne: it’s not just heat - it’s non-stop extreme weather and it’s dangerous!
Will: it’s summer [ yawn ]
Dionne: what a surprise - the denialist
corporate whore is heard from
Will: it will get cold in the winter so nothing is real
Dionne: the planet is dying and this bow-tie wearing twit airily dismisses it
Will: it’s hot - get over it
Rattner: I despair for the future of humanity
Ifill: voters don’t care about “science” or “reality” they’re just hot and bothered
Will: baseball is the most popular sport in America!
Moran: except for football
Dionne: and basketball
Will: harrumph
Moran: and that’s another episode of
This Week on ABC
***********************************
Sunday, July 08, 2012
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Meet The Press - July 1, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Howard Dean
Rich Lowry
Eugene Robinson
Savannah Guthrie
Chuck Todd
************************************
Gregory: Hi Nancy - is the health
care fight over?
Pelosi: we got rid of discrimination
on pre-existing conditions -
that’s pretty fucking awesome
Gregory: the GOP says they will
repeal the law
Pelosi: they all work for the health
insurance industry
Gregory: well corporations are
people who need representation too
Pelosi: this law offers better care
at lower prices
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he
will repeal
the law on Day One
Pelosi: that will hurt people
businesses and America
Gregory: I doubt that will stop him
Pelosi: Nancy smash!
Gregory: isn’t Obama a big failure?
Pelosi: no he isn’t Fluffy
Gregory: but the law isn’t popular
Pelosi: health insurers spent
$200 million on lies about death panels
Gregory: apparently it worked
Pelosi: people held signs saying get
your government hands off my Medicare
Gregory: that was awesome
Pelosi: people are going to get checks
in the mail because of this law
Gregory: the mandate is a tax
Pelosi: it’s a penalty on people who
can afford health insurance but
refuse to buy it
Gregory: tax!
Pelosi: these free riders have
no personal responsibility
Gregory: Obama did not sell it as a tax
Pelosi: it’s not a tax - it’s a penalty
under the tax code
Gregory: that sounds a lot like a tax
Pelosi: ok have it your way - all the
benefits are a massive tax cut
Gregory: Nancy you just blew my fucking mind
Pelosi: sweets
Gregory: you lost the House
in 2010 over this law
Pelosi: no we lost over high unemployment
Gregory: you didn’t sell the bill very well
Pelosi: that’s true but unemployment
would have been 15% without the stimulus
Gregory: unemployment is still high -
so why won’t you lose the House
all over again
Pelosi: cause we don’t have it now
Gregory: fair point
Gregory: what’s your slogan for 2012
Pelosi: Broadband and Bridges, Bitches!
Gregory: catchy
Pelosi: the Breadbox and Ballot Box!
Gregory: where are the jobs?
Pelosi: they went away under George W. Bush
Gregory: when are they coming back?
Pelosi: ask all the job creators
with their big tax cuts
Gregory: do you really believe the GOP
held Holder in contempt because
he’s in favor of voting rights
Pelosi: damn right I do Fluffy
Gregory: wow
Pelosi: we never got a straight answer
on political influence on U.S. Attorneys
Gregory: that was fun
Pelosi: we waited 200 days while
Bush and Harriet Miers stonewalled
Gregory: whatever happened to her
Pelosi: she and her cats voted 7-2
to strike down health care
Gregory: who were the holdouts
Pelosi: Muffykins and Mr. Whiskers
Gregory: some people have accused
John Roberts of putting the integrity
of the court ahead of the
Republicans’ political agenda
Audience: oh noes
Gregory: Bobby you will try to repeal this law
Jindal: Obama forced this law through
and now he cuts $500 million from Medicare
Gregory: will you reject free money for Medicaid
Jindal: yes - it violates fundamental
freedom and liberty
Gregory: ok
Jindal: we can’t afford more lazy
welfare cheats getting in the cart
instead of pulling!
Gregory: calm down you’re going to
erupt like an unmonitored volcano
Jindal: we’re going to become like Europe!
Gregory: laissez les bon temps roulez
Dean: we have health care in Vermont
while Louisiana leads the nation in early death
Jindal: but we’re first heedless debauchery
Dean: it’s free money - to turn it
down is just plain crazy!!
Jindal: those federal dollars aren’t free
- they come from your grandchildren
Gregory: good - little kids are annoying
Jindal: Obamacare caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: Romney says he will repeal
the whole law on Day One
Dean: and drive old people into poverty
- like hell he will
Gregory: give him credit - he might
Dean: this is insane - Massachusetts
already did this and it’s working!
Jindal: Romney cares about
pre-existing conditions too
Gregory: he does?
Jindal: When Romney is elected President--
Dean: [ snort ]
Gregory: Romney once called a mandate ‘essential’
Jindal: yes but Mardi Gras is not held in Boston
Gregory: are you comparing a mindless
drunken orgy to emergency life saving health care
Jindal: where I’m from one follows the other
Gregory: I hear your state in infested with vampires
Jindal: the government now force people to
buy insurance or pay a penalty!!
Gregory: you mean like the state
government did under Mitt Romney
Jindal: never heard of him
Dean: 22% of kids in Texas don’t have insurance!
Jindal: just leave health care up to the states
- they can handle it!
Dean: did you even hear what I said?
Gregory: Bobby why are newspapers dying?
Jindal: because the media has embraced
cheap sensationalism with people yelling
at other over facts and analysis
Gregory: that reminds me -
we’ll right back with our roundtable
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama had a big win this
week didn’t he
Todd: it was a huge relief for him
Lowry: Obama is supposed to be
this big Constitutional scholar and
look what happened
Gregory: he won
Low: oh right dammit
Gregory: so now what happens
Lowry: Republicans must stymie this law!
Gregory: you guys never stop do you
Guthrie: Obama raised taxes!
Gregory: good one Savannah
Robinson: get over it - no one’s
repealing this law
Gregory: but the law is messy
and controversial
Todd: the American people don’t want
to keep fighting this over and over
Gregory: but I do
Todd: what is the GOP replacement plan?
Lowry: Romney should give a speech
saying a mandate is the worst idea ever
Todd: it was his idea!
Lowry: Tax credits!
Gregory: what about pre-existing conditions
Lowry: I call it the Sea World plan -
high-risk pools of uninsurable losers
Gregory: Romney will say the health care
law caused people to get sick
Guthrie: the law hasn’t been implemented yet!
Lowry: so how do we know it’s a good thing?
Gregory: John Roberts de-politicized
the Supreme Court - he’s so dreamy!
Guthrie: he is consumed by integrity of the court
Gregory: I love him so much
Guthrie: this opinion proves he hates 5-4 decisions
Greg: his vote made it 5-4 Savannah
Guthrie: he curbed federal power on
the Commerce Clause and spending
Lowry: he engaged in verbal gymnastics
Gregory: my god he’s awesome
Lowry: he re-wrote the law and that’s
not his job - he’s supposed to rubber
stamp every Republican initiative
Robinson: so everyone is saying Roberts
lied to preserve the integrity of the court - lolwut
Gregory: amazingly pointing out
Bain Capital laid people off is
hurting Mitt Romney
Todd: also his beliefs, stances, record,
proposals and personality
Lowry: yes but Obama is being
very mean pointing out that no
one likes Mitt Romney
Gregory: the House voted to hold
Eric Holder in contempt
Guthrie: some in the GOP question how
many jobs this vote will create
Robinson: ha like they give a crap
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA)
Howard Dean
Rich Lowry
Eugene Robinson
Savannah Guthrie
Chuck Todd
************************************
Gregory: Hi Nancy - is the health
care fight over?
Pelosi: we got rid of discrimination
on pre-existing conditions -
that’s pretty fucking awesome
Gregory: the GOP says they will
repeal the law
Pelosi: they all work for the health
insurance industry
Gregory: well corporations are
people who need representation too
Pelosi: this law offers better care
at lower prices
Gregory: Mitt Romney says he
will repeal
the law on Day One
Pelosi: that will hurt people
businesses and America
Gregory: I doubt that will stop him
Pelosi: Nancy smash!
Gregory: isn’t Obama a big failure?
Pelosi: no he isn’t Fluffy
Gregory: but the law isn’t popular
Pelosi: health insurers spent
$200 million on lies about death panels
Gregory: apparently it worked
Pelosi: people held signs saying get
your government hands off my Medicare
Gregory: that was awesome
Pelosi: people are going to get checks
in the mail because of this law
Gregory: the mandate is a tax
Pelosi: it’s a penalty on people who
can afford health insurance but
refuse to buy it
Gregory: tax!
Pelosi: these free riders have
no personal responsibility
Gregory: Obama did not sell it as a tax
Pelosi: it’s not a tax - it’s a penalty
under the tax code
Gregory: that sounds a lot like a tax
Pelosi: ok have it your way - all the
benefits are a massive tax cut
Gregory: Nancy you just blew my fucking mind
Pelosi: sweets
Gregory: you lost the House
in 2010 over this law
Pelosi: no we lost over high unemployment
Gregory: you didn’t sell the bill very well
Pelosi: that’s true but unemployment
would have been 15% without the stimulus
Gregory: unemployment is still high -
so why won’t you lose the House
all over again
Pelosi: cause we don’t have it now
Gregory: fair point
Gregory: what’s your slogan for 2012
Pelosi: Broadband and Bridges, Bitches!
Gregory: catchy
Pelosi: the Breadbox and Ballot Box!
Gregory: where are the jobs?
Pelosi: they went away under George W. Bush
Gregory: when are they coming back?
Pelosi: ask all the job creators
with their big tax cuts
Gregory: do you really believe the GOP
held Holder in contempt because
he’s in favor of voting rights
Pelosi: damn right I do Fluffy
Gregory: wow
Pelosi: we never got a straight answer
on political influence on U.S. Attorneys
Gregory: that was fun
Pelosi: we waited 200 days while
Bush and Harriet Miers stonewalled
Gregory: whatever happened to her
Pelosi: she and her cats voted 7-2
to strike down health care
Gregory: who were the holdouts
Pelosi: Muffykins and Mr. Whiskers
Gregory: some people have accused
John Roberts of putting the integrity
of the court ahead of the
Republicans’ political agenda
Audience: oh noes
Gregory: Bobby you will try to repeal this law
Jindal: Obama forced this law through
and now he cuts $500 million from Medicare
Gregory: will you reject free money for Medicaid
Jindal: yes - it violates fundamental
freedom and liberty
Gregory: ok
Jindal: we can’t afford more lazy
welfare cheats getting in the cart
instead of pulling!
Gregory: calm down you’re going to
erupt like an unmonitored volcano
Jindal: we’re going to become like Europe!
Gregory: laissez les bon temps roulez
Dean: we have health care in Vermont
while Louisiana leads the nation in early death
Jindal: but we’re first heedless debauchery
Dean: it’s free money - to turn it
down is just plain crazy!!
Jindal: those federal dollars aren’t free
- they come from your grandchildren
Gregory: good - little kids are annoying
Jindal: Obamacare caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: Romney says he will repeal
the whole law on Day One
Dean: and drive old people into poverty
- like hell he will
Gregory: give him credit - he might
Dean: this is insane - Massachusetts
already did this and it’s working!
Jindal: Romney cares about
pre-existing conditions too
Gregory: he does?
Jindal: When Romney is elected President--
Dean: [ snort ]
Gregory: Romney once called a mandate ‘essential’
Jindal: yes but Mardi Gras is not held in Boston
Gregory: are you comparing a mindless
drunken orgy to emergency life saving health care
Jindal: where I’m from one follows the other
Gregory: I hear your state in infested with vampires
Jindal: the government now force people to
buy insurance or pay a penalty!!
Gregory: you mean like the state
government did under Mitt Romney
Jindal: never heard of him
Dean: 22% of kids in Texas don’t have insurance!
Jindal: just leave health care up to the states
- they can handle it!
Dean: did you even hear what I said?
Gregory: Bobby why are newspapers dying?
Jindal: because the media has embraced
cheap sensationalism with people yelling
at other over facts and analysis
Gregory: that reminds me -
we’ll right back with our roundtable
[ break ]
Gregory: Obama had a big win this
week didn’t he
Todd: it was a huge relief for him
Lowry: Obama is supposed to be
this big Constitutional scholar and
look what happened
Gregory: he won
Low: oh right dammit
Gregory: so now what happens
Lowry: Republicans must stymie this law!
Gregory: you guys never stop do you
Guthrie: Obama raised taxes!
Gregory: good one Savannah
Robinson: get over it - no one’s
repealing this law
Gregory: but the law is messy
and controversial
Todd: the American people don’t want
to keep fighting this over and over
Gregory: but I do
Todd: what is the GOP replacement plan?
Lowry: Romney should give a speech
saying a mandate is the worst idea ever
Todd: it was his idea!
Lowry: Tax credits!
Gregory: what about pre-existing conditions
Lowry: I call it the Sea World plan -
high-risk pools of uninsurable losers
Gregory: Romney will say the health care
law caused people to get sick
Guthrie: the law hasn’t been implemented yet!
Lowry: so how do we know it’s a good thing?
Gregory: John Roberts de-politicized
the Supreme Court - he’s so dreamy!
Guthrie: he is consumed by integrity of the court
Gregory: I love him so much
Guthrie: this opinion proves he hates 5-4 decisions
Greg: his vote made it 5-4 Savannah
Guthrie: he curbed federal power on
the Commerce Clause and spending
Lowry: he engaged in verbal gymnastics
Gregory: my god he’s awesome
Lowry: he re-wrote the law and that’s
not his job - he’s supposed to rubber
stamp every Republican initiative
Robinson: so everyone is saying Roberts
lied to preserve the integrity of the court - lolwut
Gregory: amazingly pointing out
Bain Capital laid people off is
hurting Mitt Romney
Todd: also his beliefs, stances, record,
proposals and personality
Lowry: yes but Obama is being
very mean pointing out that no
one likes Mitt Romney
Gregory: the House voted to hold
Eric Holder in contempt
Guthrie: some in the GOP question how
many jobs this vote will create
Robinson: ha like they give a crap
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
****************************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - July 1, 2012
Guests:
Vicki Kennedy
Jack Lew - White House Budget Office
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
*************************************
Stephanopoulos: wow health care
is constitutional
Audience: woot
Stephanopoulos: what was your
reaction Vicki
Kennedy: Teddy believed health care
was a fundamental human right
Stephanopoulos: the cause of his life
was saved by a Republican Chief Justice
Kennedy: which is awesome
Stephanopoulos: Nancy Pelosi said
Teddy must be happy
Kennedy: she rocks
Stephanopoulos: what is the biggest
struggle now
Kennedy: people want health care
but they don’t like the law
Stephanopoulos: that is true
Kennedy: but no one wants to be
denied for pre-existing conditions
Stephanopoulos: of course
Kennedy: it’s a very exciting time
Stephanopoulos: well congratulations
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: how can America
afford this massive tax increase?
Lew: you mean the penalty
Stephanopoulos: LOL
Lew: if you choose not to buy insurance
you have pay a penalty because
you’re a free rider
Stephanopoulos: John Roberts says
it’s a tax ergo it’s a tax
Lew: why should free riders not have to pay
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: no - one guy said it could be
considered one
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: it falls under Congress’ taxing
power constitutionally
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: no!
Stephanopoulos: will states reject
Medicaid money?
Lew: why would they - it’s 100% paid
by the federal government
Stephanopoulos: freedom!
Lew: ok
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney said he
will win in 2012 because people hate
health care reform
Lew: no lifetime limits, no pre-existing
conditions, insurance for young adults
- what’s not to like
Stephanopoulos: liberty!
Lew: Romney wants to give millionaires
$5 trillion and take that money from charities
Stephanopoulos: Obama voted against
John Roberts and then he saved
the President’s signature achievement
Lew: irony can be pretty ironic sometimes
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: John Roberts -
what went wrong?
Ryan: I thought he had principles -
oppose all liberal laws!
Stephanopoulos: too bad
Ryan: I’m so disappointed
Stephan: Romney said John Roberts
is a model justice
Ryan: it’s very disturbing that the
government can now tax people
Stephanopoulos: that is disturbing
Ryan: I can’t believe one man arrogantly
left this up to the American people to decide now
Stephan: you accuse Obama of cutting Medicare
but your own budget would cut $500 million
Ryan: Obamacare raids Medicare to
pay for health care - it’s an outrage
Stephan: you would take that money
and pay off the debt
Ryan: I would make Medicare more solvent
by taking money from it
Stephan: so you are not a hypocrite
Ryan: Obama said it wasn’t a tax and
now he says it is - OMG
Stephanopoulos: my goodness
Ryan: it’s very frustrating dealing with
Obama - he’s so fucking skillful for
a teleprompter-reading loser from Kenya
Stephan: do you like any part of this law?
Ryan: no - we will repeal all of it
Stephanopoulos: what’s your answer
Ryan: patient-centered provisions!
Stephanopoulos: you would get rid
of the lifetime limits?
Ryan: the free market has already
solved most of these problems
Stephanopoulos: it health care a right?
Ryan: no - rights come comes from nature’s god
Stephanopoulos: will this election turn
on rejecting health care as a right?
Ryan: John Roberts made this election
about personal freedom and liberty
or health care and enslavement
Stephanopoulos: right
Ryan: we have one more chance before
we are all marched off to FEMA-run
concentration camps and selected
by Kathleen Sebelius’ death panels
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Paul
Ryan: enjoy your last July Fourth outside
of barbed wire losers
********************************
Vicki Kennedy
Jack Lew - White House Budget Office
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
*************************************
Stephanopoulos: wow health care
is constitutional
Audience: woot
Stephanopoulos: what was your
reaction Vicki
Kennedy: Teddy believed health care
was a fundamental human right
Stephanopoulos: the cause of his life
was saved by a Republican Chief Justice
Kennedy: which is awesome
Stephanopoulos: Nancy Pelosi said
Teddy must be happy
Kennedy: she rocks
Stephanopoulos: what is the biggest
struggle now
Kennedy: people want health care
but they don’t like the law
Stephanopoulos: that is true
Kennedy: but no one wants to be
denied for pre-existing conditions
Stephanopoulos: of course
Kennedy: it’s a very exciting time
Stephanopoulos: well congratulations
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: how can America
afford this massive tax increase?
Lew: you mean the penalty
Stephanopoulos: LOL
Lew: if you choose not to buy insurance
you have pay a penalty because
you’re a free rider
Stephanopoulos: John Roberts says
it’s a tax ergo it’s a tax
Lew: why should free riders not have to pay
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: no - one guy said it could be
considered one
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: it falls under Congress’ taxing
power constitutionally
Stephanopoulos: it’s a tax!
Lew: no!
Stephanopoulos: will states reject
Medicaid money?
Lew: why would they - it’s 100% paid
by the federal government
Stephanopoulos: freedom!
Lew: ok
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney said he
will win in 2012 because people hate
health care reform
Lew: no lifetime limits, no pre-existing
conditions, insurance for young adults
- what’s not to like
Stephanopoulos: liberty!
Lew: Romney wants to give millionaires
$5 trillion and take that money from charities
Stephanopoulos: Obama voted against
John Roberts and then he saved
the President’s signature achievement
Lew: irony can be pretty ironic sometimes
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: John Roberts -
what went wrong?
Ryan: I thought he had principles -
oppose all liberal laws!
Stephanopoulos: too bad
Ryan: I’m so disappointed
Stephan: Romney said John Roberts
is a model justice
Ryan: it’s very disturbing that the
government can now tax people
Stephanopoulos: that is disturbing
Ryan: I can’t believe one man arrogantly
left this up to the American people to decide now
Stephan: you accuse Obama of cutting Medicare
but your own budget would cut $500 million
Ryan: Obamacare raids Medicare to
pay for health care - it’s an outrage
Stephan: you would take that money
and pay off the debt
Ryan: I would make Medicare more solvent
by taking money from it
Stephan: so you are not a hypocrite
Ryan: Obama said it wasn’t a tax and
now he says it is - OMG
Stephanopoulos: my goodness
Ryan: it’s very frustrating dealing with
Obama - he’s so fucking skillful for
a teleprompter-reading loser from Kenya
Stephan: do you like any part of this law?
Ryan: no - we will repeal all of it
Stephanopoulos: what’s your answer
Ryan: patient-centered provisions!
Stephanopoulos: you would get rid
of the lifetime limits?
Ryan: the free market has already
solved most of these problems
Stephanopoulos: it health care a right?
Ryan: no - rights come comes from nature’s god
Stephanopoulos: will this election turn
on rejecting health care as a right?
Ryan: John Roberts made this election
about personal freedom and liberty
or health care and enslavement
Stephanopoulos: right
Ryan: we have one more chance before
we are all marched off to FEMA-run
concentration camps and selected
by Kathleen Sebelius’ death panels
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Paul
Ryan: enjoy your last July Fourth outside
of barbed wire losers
********************************
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Meet The Press - June 24, 2012
Guests:
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)
Bill Richardson
Andrea Mitchell
John Martin
****************************
Gregory: it’s great to have you here Marco
Rubio: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: should Arizona police demand
the papers of suspiciously
brown-skinned people
Rubio: yes because Obama is weak
Gregory: should all 11 million
undocumented people go home
Rubio: did you know one million people
come here legally every year?
Gregory: answer the question Marco
Rubio: Obama keeps letting illegal people in
Gregory: he’s deporting more people
than anyone ever has!
Rubio: yes but we need a really big fence!
Gregory: I see
Rubio: after that we can talk about
those 11 million losers
Gregory: I’d like to talk about them right now
Rubio: a few months ago I invented
the idea of letting kids stay here
Gregory: you mean the DREAM Act
Rubio: oh no I hate that law -
mine is called the BAD DREAM Act
Gregory: what’s in it?
Rubio: Obama won’t shoot people
crossing the border!
Gregory: you haven’t said one thing
of substance since you sat down
Rubio: the DREAM Act would encourage
illegal immigration
Gregory: do you agree with the President’s order?
Rubio: no because it was all political
which has no place in legislation or regulation
Gregory: why are you so sad
Rubio: the President never came
to me to endorse my law before
he took my idea away
Gregory: you never even introduced
a bill in Congress
Rubio: that was my tactic to expose
the hypocrisy of Democrats
Gregory: how clever of you
Rubio: look you don’t just rush out a
piece of legislation you own party despises
Gregory: Mitt Romney spent all
spring bashing illegal immigrations
Rubio: what all those people waiting
to come here legally - no one ever
talks about them
Gregory: Does the GOP have
a problem with Latinos?
Rubio: Most Republicans love immigrants
Gregory: ha ha
Rubio: it’s not fair because most Latinos
vote for Democrats because of their
policies on the economy and foreign policy
Gregory: so the GOP is not hated
just because of immigration
Rubio: that’s right - there are so
many other reasons
Gregory: what about the Supreme Court?
Rubio: Obamacare caused the recession
Gregory: what is the solution to the
national health care problem?
Rubio: all individuals should just
go out and buy health insurance
Gregory: good idea but what
about free riders?
Rubio: perhaps we could have some
kind of requirement
Gregory: should we raise taxes
and pay down the debt?
Rubio: I reject the premise - we must
cut taxes to grow the economy and
then we will have more money which
let us cut more taxes until we are all rich
Gregory: you said you would
never ever run for Vice President
Rubio: yes but that was before I
knew how much Romney would need me
Gregory: have you ever made a
bad decision that would disqualify
from ever being President
Rubio: making politics a career
Gregory: why did you leave the Mormon church
Rubio: I’m a politician - no one’s going
to vote for a freaking Mormon in Florida!
Gregory: you’re young and
vaguely ethnic like Obama
Rubio: he is so fucking cool
Gregory: indeed
Rubio: its so sad - Obama could have
elevated America and instead became just
another politician letting people heckle him
Gregory: when will you run for President?
Rubio: In six years
Gregory: Biggie Smalls or Tupac?
Rubio: I’m West Coast all the way baby
Gregory: who is more popular Romney
Obama or Lebron James
Rubio: are those my only choices
Gregory: yes
Rubio: the black guy
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Darrell - you want to hold
Eric Holder in contempt
Issa: I need Holder’s e-mails to prove
he engaged in a cover-up
Gregory: the Bush administration
started a gun sharing program
Issa: Bush shut it down
Gregory: because there were indictments!
Issa: see how honorable they were!
Gregory: the documents you want
aren’t about the program - they are
about how they reacted to your investigation
Issa: we need answers
Gregory: to what?
Issa: to our questions!
Gregory: about what?
Issa: the cover-up!
Gregory: what cover-up?
Issa: of their plan to send guns to
criminals to make the NRA look bad!
Richardson: it seems like this is all political
Issa: Obama is just like Nixon!
Martin: Boehner doesn’t like this but
he always folds to the Tea Party
Issa: I didn’t want this fight - I really
wanted to impeach Obama over
his birth certificate
Mitchell: politics in Washington -
who would ever have thought?
Gregory: what about immigration?
Richardson: Obama created
two million Hispanic jobs
Gregory: wow
Richardson: and not just in landscaping!
Gregory: that’s amazing
Martin: are we going to mass deport
eleven million people?
Issa: sadly probably not
Gregory: so then what should we do
Issa: border control must have real teeth
Gregory: meaning what
Issa: Vampire Border Guards
Mitchell: Marco Rubio is whining but
he still won’t say what his plan is or
might be or could be
Gregory: Romney is vetting
potential Vice Presidents
[ Romney on tape: ]
even that Cuban guy what’s
his name Margeaux
Martin: Romney is determined not
to repeat the mistake that rhymes
with Sarah Palin
Gregory: who should he choose?
Richardson: why not Rubio - at least
he’s interesting and the others are boring
Mitchell: what about choosing
the most qualified person
Issa: that’s crazy enough to work
Martin: Romney will make a
Management Consult decision
Issa: that will optimize the
platform going forward
Martin: I hear buzz about Condi Rice!
Issa: she was a disaster!
Martin: or also Rubio
Issa: Jack Kemp was going to
be chosen and then he wasn’t
Audience: and then he was
Gregory: Is Paul Ryan radioactive?
Issa: President Obama said
Paul Ryan had great budget ideas
Gregory: he did?
Issa: I have a subpoena out to prove it!
Richardson: he will choose the
person who will help him win - period
Issa: well then who will Obama choose ha ha ha
Biden, bursts into studio:
Hey Darrell - you know what’s a really
big fucking deal? My fist!
[ punches Darrell Issa ]
Issa: ow Joe you broke my nose
Biden: don’t cross me car-stealing motherfucker!
Mitchell: the possibility overturning
the health care law is a huge
defeat for Barack Obama
Gregory: what about will happen
Issa: Republicans will have to quickly
scramble to put the popular things in
Obamacare back into law
Gregory: you people like the benefits of
health insurance without having to buy it
Issa: yes - who knew?
Martin: progressive hate Obama
but if the court strikes the health care law
they may rally around him
Gregory: what a denoument
Martin: but of course it would be another
rebuke for Obama just like when he ruined
America’s credit rating
Gregory: Romney is raising a hella lot of cash
Mitchell: Mitt knows how to raise money
for doing nothing - it’s what he does
Issa: so we should elect him President -
Romney will get bankers and corporations
to pay America’s bills
Gregory: in exchange for what?
Issa: we can let them own Washington DC
Richardson: that ship has sailed
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**********************************
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)
Bill Richardson
Andrea Mitchell
John Martin
****************************
Gregory: it’s great to have you here Marco
Rubio: thanks Fluffy
Gregory: should Arizona police demand
the papers of suspiciously
brown-skinned people
Rubio: yes because Obama is weak
Gregory: should all 11 million
undocumented people go home
Rubio: did you know one million people
come here legally every year?
Gregory: answer the question Marco
Rubio: Obama keeps letting illegal people in
Gregory: he’s deporting more people
than anyone ever has!
Rubio: yes but we need a really big fence!
Gregory: I see
Rubio: after that we can talk about
those 11 million losers
Gregory: I’d like to talk about them right now
Rubio: a few months ago I invented
the idea of letting kids stay here
Gregory: you mean the DREAM Act
Rubio: oh no I hate that law -
mine is called the BAD DREAM Act
Gregory: what’s in it?
Rubio: Obama won’t shoot people
crossing the border!
Gregory: you haven’t said one thing
of substance since you sat down
Rubio: the DREAM Act would encourage
illegal immigration
Gregory: do you agree with the President’s order?
Rubio: no because it was all political
which has no place in legislation or regulation
Gregory: why are you so sad
Rubio: the President never came
to me to endorse my law before
he took my idea away
Gregory: you never even introduced
a bill in Congress
Rubio: that was my tactic to expose
the hypocrisy of Democrats
Gregory: how clever of you
Rubio: look you don’t just rush out a
piece of legislation you own party despises
Gregory: Mitt Romney spent all
spring bashing illegal immigrations
Rubio: what all those people waiting
to come here legally - no one ever
talks about them
Gregory: Does the GOP have
a problem with Latinos?
Rubio: Most Republicans love immigrants
Gregory: ha ha
Rubio: it’s not fair because most Latinos
vote for Democrats because of their
policies on the economy and foreign policy
Gregory: so the GOP is not hated
just because of immigration
Rubio: that’s right - there are so
many other reasons
Gregory: what about the Supreme Court?
Rubio: Obamacare caused the recession
Gregory: what is the solution to the
national health care problem?
Rubio: all individuals should just
go out and buy health insurance
Gregory: good idea but what
about free riders?
Rubio: perhaps we could have some
kind of requirement
Gregory: should we raise taxes
and pay down the debt?
Rubio: I reject the premise - we must
cut taxes to grow the economy and
then we will have more money which
let us cut more taxes until we are all rich
Gregory: you said you would
never ever run for Vice President
Rubio: yes but that was before I
knew how much Romney would need me
Gregory: have you ever made a
bad decision that would disqualify
from ever being President
Rubio: making politics a career
Gregory: why did you leave the Mormon church
Rubio: I’m a politician - no one’s going
to vote for a freaking Mormon in Florida!
Gregory: you’re young and
vaguely ethnic like Obama
Rubio: he is so fucking cool
Gregory: indeed
Rubio: its so sad - Obama could have
elevated America and instead became just
another politician letting people heckle him
Gregory: when will you run for President?
Rubio: In six years
Gregory: Biggie Smalls or Tupac?
Rubio: I’m West Coast all the way baby
Gregory: who is more popular Romney
Obama or Lebron James
Rubio: are those my only choices
Gregory: yes
Rubio: the black guy
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: welcome Darrell - you want to hold
Eric Holder in contempt
Issa: I need Holder’s e-mails to prove
he engaged in a cover-up
Gregory: the Bush administration
started a gun sharing program
Issa: Bush shut it down
Gregory: because there were indictments!
Issa: see how honorable they were!
Gregory: the documents you want
aren’t about the program - they are
about how they reacted to your investigation
Issa: we need answers
Gregory: to what?
Issa: to our questions!
Gregory: about what?
Issa: the cover-up!
Gregory: what cover-up?
Issa: of their plan to send guns to
criminals to make the NRA look bad!
Richardson: it seems like this is all political
Issa: Obama is just like Nixon!
Martin: Boehner doesn’t like this but
he always folds to the Tea Party
Issa: I didn’t want this fight - I really
wanted to impeach Obama over
his birth certificate
Mitchell: politics in Washington -
who would ever have thought?
Gregory: what about immigration?
Richardson: Obama created
two million Hispanic jobs
Gregory: wow
Richardson: and not just in landscaping!
Gregory: that’s amazing
Martin: are we going to mass deport
eleven million people?
Issa: sadly probably not
Gregory: so then what should we do
Issa: border control must have real teeth
Gregory: meaning what
Issa: Vampire Border Guards
Mitchell: Marco Rubio is whining but
he still won’t say what his plan is or
might be or could be
Gregory: Romney is vetting
potential Vice Presidents
[ Romney on tape: ]
even that Cuban guy what’s
his name Margeaux
Martin: Romney is determined not
to repeat the mistake that rhymes
with Sarah Palin
Gregory: who should he choose?
Richardson: why not Rubio - at least
he’s interesting and the others are boring
Mitchell: what about choosing
the most qualified person
Issa: that’s crazy enough to work
Martin: Romney will make a
Management Consult decision
Issa: that will optimize the
platform going forward
Martin: I hear buzz about Condi Rice!
Issa: she was a disaster!
Martin: or also Rubio
Issa: Jack Kemp was going to
be chosen and then he wasn’t
Audience: and then he was
Gregory: Is Paul Ryan radioactive?
Issa: President Obama said
Paul Ryan had great budget ideas
Gregory: he did?
Issa: I have a subpoena out to prove it!
Richardson: he will choose the
person who will help him win - period
Issa: well then who will Obama choose ha ha ha
Biden, bursts into studio:
Hey Darrell - you know what’s a really
big fucking deal? My fist!
[ punches Darrell Issa ]
Issa: ow Joe you broke my nose
Biden: don’t cross me car-stealing motherfucker!
Mitchell: the possibility overturning
the health care law is a huge
defeat for Barack Obama
Gregory: what about will happen
Issa: Republicans will have to quickly
scramble to put the popular things in
Obamacare back into law
Gregory: you people like the benefits of
health insurance without having to buy it
Issa: yes - who knew?
Martin: progressive hate Obama
but if the court strikes the health care law
they may rally around him
Gregory: what a denoument
Martin: but of course it would be another
rebuke for Obama just like when he ruined
America’s credit rating
Gregory: Romney is raising a hella lot of cash
Mitchell: Mitt knows how to raise money
for doing nothing - it’s what he does
Issa: so we should elect him President -
Romney will get bankers and corporations
to pay America’s bills
Gregory: in exchange for what?
Issa: we can let them own Washington DC
Richardson: that ship has sailed
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press
**********************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 24, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)
Tapper: this morning we will ask - sending guns to
Mexican drug cartels - what could go wrong?
Tapper: Darrell what the hell happened
and what do you want?
Issa: I want documents that are not blacked out
Tapper: maybe those are pictures of Mexico at night
Issa: the Department of Justice tried to get us
to drop contempt proceedings in exchange for
autographed pictures of Justin Bieber we considered it and so no
Tapper: Bush started Operation Wide Receiver
Issa: you forgot Operation I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
Tapper: you have not subpoened a single Republican
or someone from the Bush administration
Issa: we’re past all that now
Tapper: what does that even mean
Issa: look I need documents to catch someone
from the Obama administration in a lie - our
border patrol agents deserve that much!
Issa: you once walked out of the House in a
big huff when Democrats were mad when
Bush invoked Executive Privilege
Tapper: that was different because Bush
was covering up mistakes he made
instead of his Attorney General
Tapper: I see
Issa: Executive Privilege doesn’t apply when
Congress is setting up a perjury trap
Tapper: that makes sense
Issa: what we want is very narrow -
a fake impeachment
Tapper: you think Obama sent guns to
Mexico as a plan to take away guns
Issa: it makes perfect sense - hand out guns
to prove that guns are very dangerous
and kill people
Tapper: do they?
Issa: no - guns save lives!
Tapper: so should we send more guns to
Mexico to stop crime there?
Issa: exactly!
Tapper: thanks for coming Darrell
******************************
Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)
Tapper: this morning we will ask - sending guns to
Mexican drug cartels - what could go wrong?
Tapper: Darrell what the hell happened
and what do you want?
Issa: I want documents that are not blacked out
Tapper: maybe those are pictures of Mexico at night
Issa: the Department of Justice tried to get us
to drop contempt proceedings in exchange for
autographed pictures of Justin Bieber we considered it and so no
Tapper: Bush started Operation Wide Receiver
Issa: you forgot Operation I’m Gonna Git You Sucka
Tapper: you have not subpoened a single Republican
or someone from the Bush administration
Issa: we’re past all that now
Tapper: what does that even mean
Issa: look I need documents to catch someone
from the Obama administration in a lie - our
border patrol agents deserve that much!
Issa: you once walked out of the House in a
big huff when Democrats were mad when
Bush invoked Executive Privilege
Tapper: that was different because Bush
was covering up mistakes he made
instead of his Attorney General
Tapper: I see
Issa: Executive Privilege doesn’t apply when
Congress is setting up a perjury trap
Tapper: that makes sense
Issa: what we want is very narrow -
a fake impeachment
Tapper: you think Obama sent guns to
Mexico as a plan to take away guns
Issa: it makes perfect sense - hand out guns
to prove that guns are very dangerous
and kill people
Tapper: do they?
Issa: no - guns save lives!
Tapper: so should we send more guns to
Mexico to stop crime there?
Issa: exactly!
Tapper: thanks for coming Darrell
******************************
Sunday, June 17, 2012
June 17, 2012
Guests:
David Plouffe
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Doris Goodwin
Harold Ford
Kim Strassel
Mark Halperin
David Maraniss
***********************
Gregory: Welcome Dave P
Plouffe: yo Dave G
Gregory: what is more important -
Greece or Ohio?
Plouffe: I’m curious - is it possible for you
to ask a question without a shit-eating
grin on your face?
Gregory: so I hear you saying Europe
will doom the President’s chances in the fall?
Plouffe: that’s actually not what I said at all
Gregory: Obama is clearly playing
politics with immigrants’ lives
Plouffe: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: but the politics Pluffy
Plouffe: He’ll sign a DREAM Act tomorrow
- send it on down Congress!
Gregory: President McCain says Obama
is grabbing power like grabby
power-grabbing guy
Plouffe: Congress won’t act on immigration
just like they won’t fix the economy
Gregory: Obama promised to enact
immigration reform -- why is he is such a failure?
Plouffe: We’re closed that motherfucking border!
Gregory: you’re just trying to win Latino voters
Plouffe: did you know Mitt Romney
would veto the DREAM Act and
deport 11 million people
Gregory: yeah that’s awesome
Plouffe: no isn’t!
Gregory: Obama wants to raise my taxes
Plouffe: yes - but he wants to cut taxes
for middle-income people
Gregory: who cares - you’re going raise
my taxes aren’t you - you bastard
Plouffe: tax cuts for the rich caused
the recession in the first place!
Gregory: but the Grand Bargain!
Plouffe: trickle-down didn’t work
in the past and it won’t work in the future
Gregory: in 2010 Bill Clinton said we
should vote against the guy who
defeated his wife
Plouffe: that didn’t happen and
who gives a fuck
Gregory: it could be true
Plouffe: Mitt Romney didn’t create jobs
in Massachusetts and that’s not surprising
because GOP policies wreck the economy
Gregory: Obama got a trillion dollar
stimulus, health care reform and
Dodd-Frank which didn’t cause
an economic recovery!
Plouffe: Mitt Romney’s policies
would cause another Depression!
Gregory: Clinton Democrats are very
concerned that it may not be too
early to utterly panic
Plouffe: Clinton also said Romney
would a total calamity for America
Gregory: Hispanics will decide this
election won’t they
Plouffe: si
Gregory: what about these horrible
leaks of bin Laden being killed and
other state secrets
Plouffe: it’s so sad tales of Obama’s
toughness on terrorists keeps getting out
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what about
Obama’s plan to let smart young
immigrants stay in America
McCain: this abuse of power has
never happened in American history
Gregory: so you will overturn it?
McCain: no because it’s a good idea
Gregory: um I’m confused
McCain: Obama won’t even call
Marco Rubio and make reform happen
Gregory: but you know that the GOP
is totally against immigration reform
McCain: that is also Obama’s fault
Gregory: are you kidding
McCain: we all have sympathy for these kids
who sadly must be deported so I can
be reelected by wackos
McCain: Obama is just doing the right
thing to divert attention from the
dropping price of gas
Gregory: Mitt Romney wants 11 million
people to self-deport
McCain: that’s not fair - he’s flip flopping
on this like everything else
Gregory: ok
McCain: Obama killed immigration reform
Gregory: are you fucking kidding
McCain: labor unions was what killed the Dream
Gregory: what about Mitt Romney
McCain: Romney is ready and willing
to change his position as a moment’s notice
Gregory: good to know
McCain: but also Romney would never
change federal policy as President
Gregory: really?
McCain: well he might I mean I’m
sure he would consider it
Gregory: Obama said the private sector
is doing fine - isn’t that just like when you
defended the economy in 2008?
McCain: no its different because when I
said that we had just entered a Depression
and Obama has only added 4 million jobs
Gregory: I see
McCain: why won’t Obama bring back
a trillion dollars from overseas -
he just wants to tax that poor money
Gregory: it’s so unfair
McCain: Steve Jobs! Facebook!
Gregory: in 2008 you said Romney was evil
and didn’t create jobs
McCain: yes but I only said that to get elected
Gregory: oh that’s ok then
McCain: Dodd-Frank caused the recession 2008
Gregory: Sheldon Adelson plans on
donating $100 million to defeat Mitt Romney
McCain: I agree that labor unions are evil
Gregory: um ok
McCain: Obama goes to all these fundraisers
when he should be finding bin Laden
Gregory: he got bin Laden
McCain: what?!
Gregory: what about campaign finance abuse?
McCain: I have a crush on Sandra Day O’Connor
Gregory: are you concerned that Adelson
will have undue influence on policy
McCain: No because Richard Trumka is worse
Gregory: what about Syria
McCain: Obama should make their civil war
a fair fight by sending whichever group
is less armed guns until it’s a tie
Gregory: I see
McCain: Obama doesn’t believe in American
leadership or exceptionalism
Gregory: getting involved in a
middle east civil war prove you believe
in U.S. leadership and exceptionalism?
McCain: women are being raped!
Gregory: that happens in Darfur too
McCain: who gives a fuck -
the important thing is Iran is bad!
Gregory: wait what?
McCain: where is my pudding?!
[ break ]
Gregory: wow Obama is talking about
the economy and our new Latino Overlords!
Halperin: Mitt Romney is awesome
and Obama an unsettled weenie
Gregory: you are so awesome
Strassel: Obama is a terrible President
Gregory: I love you
Ford: I disagree with both of you -
Obama is a loser and I should have
been the first black President
Gregory: what an interesting perspective
Ford: Greece should embrace the
austerity investment banks want
Gregory: don’t you work on Wall Street now?
Ford: that’s a coincidence
Gregory: Obama is so cautious
Maraniss: right Obama never takes
risks until he does
Gregory: that is so insightful
Maraniss: Obama is a dullard who
always misses the zeitgeist unlike
that awesome Bill Clinton
Goodwin: Obama needs to be like
Teddy Roosevelt and double
down on regulation
Gregory: ooh
Goodwin: he should say we need more stimulus!
Gregory: that’s a nice idea Doris but
Republicans are right most of the
time aren’t they
Strassel: Obama doesn’t want to talk
about the past he just talks about the
recession of 2008
Gregory: you are so smart
Strassel: Obama has a problem with
white people so he keeps reaching out to
women Hispanics and other assorted weirdos
Halperin: Obama is cheating by being popular
Gregory: how can we all elect Mitt Romney
Ford: Obama must stop attacking
Mitt Romney because fracking is awesome
Gregory: frack yeah!
Goodwin: Obama was only elected
President once - what a loser!
Strassel: America is broke!
Gregory: amazingly you discovered that
Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are
both smart and successful
Maraniss: Clinton had affairs and gets
out of them and Obama likewise is Kenyan
and got out of that
Gregory: wow
Maraniss: Once he got to the
White House Clinton got in trouble with
Monica Lewsinsky and Obama is the same
since after he was elected he became black
Gregory: Harold Ford you must ask yourself -
how did Obama pulls this off?
Ford:
[ stares daggers are Gregory ]
Gregory: Harold?
Ford: Obama is a loser who won’t fight for Simpson-Bowles
Gregory: Romney was raised politicians
Halperin: Romney doesn’t think of himself
as a politician - after all he was elected
once and then fired
Gregory: what does he seem himself as?
Halperin: as a robot sent from the future
to help America’s billionaires
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet the Press
*********************************
Guests:
David Plouffe
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
Doris Goodwin
Harold Ford
Kim Strassel
Mark Halperin
David Maraniss
***********************
Gregory: Welcome Dave P
Plouffe: yo Dave G
Gregory: what is more important -
Greece or Ohio?
Plouffe: I’m curious - is it possible for you
to ask a question without a shit-eating
grin on your face?
Gregory: so I hear you saying Europe
will doom the President’s chances in the fall?
Plouffe: that’s actually not what I said at all
Gregory: Obama is clearly playing
politics with immigrants’ lives
Plouffe: fuck you Fluffy
Gregory: but the politics Pluffy
Plouffe: He’ll sign a DREAM Act tomorrow
- send it on down Congress!
Gregory: President McCain says Obama
is grabbing power like grabby
power-grabbing guy
Plouffe: Congress won’t act on immigration
just like they won’t fix the economy
Gregory: Obama promised to enact
immigration reform -- why is he is such a failure?
Plouffe: We’re closed that motherfucking border!
Gregory: you’re just trying to win Latino voters
Plouffe: did you know Mitt Romney
would veto the DREAM Act and
deport 11 million people
Gregory: yeah that’s awesome
Plouffe: no isn’t!
Gregory: Obama wants to raise my taxes
Plouffe: yes - but he wants to cut taxes
for middle-income people
Gregory: who cares - you’re going raise
my taxes aren’t you - you bastard
Plouffe: tax cuts for the rich caused
the recession in the first place!
Gregory: but the Grand Bargain!
Plouffe: trickle-down didn’t work
in the past and it won’t work in the future
Gregory: in 2010 Bill Clinton said we
should vote against the guy who
defeated his wife
Plouffe: that didn’t happen and
who gives a fuck
Gregory: it could be true
Plouffe: Mitt Romney didn’t create jobs
in Massachusetts and that’s not surprising
because GOP policies wreck the economy
Gregory: Obama got a trillion dollar
stimulus, health care reform and
Dodd-Frank which didn’t cause
an economic recovery!
Plouffe: Mitt Romney’s policies
would cause another Depression!
Gregory: Clinton Democrats are very
concerned that it may not be too
early to utterly panic
Plouffe: Clinton also said Romney
would a total calamity for America
Gregory: Hispanics will decide this
election won’t they
Plouffe: si
Gregory: what about these horrible
leaks of bin Laden being killed and
other state secrets
Plouffe: it’s so sad tales of Obama’s
toughness on terrorists keeps getting out
Gregory: thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory: President McCain what about
Obama’s plan to let smart young
immigrants stay in America
McCain: this abuse of power has
never happened in American history
Gregory: so you will overturn it?
McCain: no because it’s a good idea
Gregory: um I’m confused
McCain: Obama won’t even call
Marco Rubio and make reform happen
Gregory: but you know that the GOP
is totally against immigration reform
McCain: that is also Obama’s fault
Gregory: are you kidding
McCain: we all have sympathy for these kids
who sadly must be deported so I can
be reelected by wackos
McCain: Obama is just doing the right
thing to divert attention from the
dropping price of gas
Gregory: Mitt Romney wants 11 million
people to self-deport
McCain: that’s not fair - he’s flip flopping
on this like everything else
Gregory: ok
McCain: Obama killed immigration reform
Gregory: are you fucking kidding
McCain: labor unions was what killed the Dream
Gregory: what about Mitt Romney
McCain: Romney is ready and willing
to change his position as a moment’s notice
Gregory: good to know
McCain: but also Romney would never
change federal policy as President
Gregory: really?
McCain: well he might I mean I’m
sure he would consider it
Gregory: Obama said the private sector
is doing fine - isn’t that just like when you
defended the economy in 2008?
McCain: no its different because when I
said that we had just entered a Depression
and Obama has only added 4 million jobs
Gregory: I see
McCain: why won’t Obama bring back
a trillion dollars from overseas -
he just wants to tax that poor money
Gregory: it’s so unfair
McCain: Steve Jobs! Facebook!
Gregory: in 2008 you said Romney was evil
and didn’t create jobs
McCain: yes but I only said that to get elected
Gregory: oh that’s ok then
McCain: Dodd-Frank caused the recession 2008
Gregory: Sheldon Adelson plans on
donating $100 million to defeat Mitt Romney
McCain: I agree that labor unions are evil
Gregory: um ok
McCain: Obama goes to all these fundraisers
when he should be finding bin Laden
Gregory: he got bin Laden
McCain: what?!
Gregory: what about campaign finance abuse?
McCain: I have a crush on Sandra Day O’Connor
Gregory: are you concerned that Adelson
will have undue influence on policy
McCain: No because Richard Trumka is worse
Gregory: what about Syria
McCain: Obama should make their civil war
a fair fight by sending whichever group
is less armed guns until it’s a tie
Gregory: I see
McCain: Obama doesn’t believe in American
leadership or exceptionalism
Gregory: getting involved in a
middle east civil war prove you believe
in U.S. leadership and exceptionalism?
McCain: women are being raped!
Gregory: that happens in Darfur too
McCain: who gives a fuck -
the important thing is Iran is bad!
Gregory: wait what?
McCain: where is my pudding?!
[ break ]
Gregory: wow Obama is talking about
the economy and our new Latino Overlords!
Halperin: Mitt Romney is awesome
and Obama an unsettled weenie
Gregory: you are so awesome
Strassel: Obama is a terrible President
Gregory: I love you
Ford: I disagree with both of you -
Obama is a loser and I should have
been the first black President
Gregory: what an interesting perspective
Ford: Greece should embrace the
austerity investment banks want
Gregory: don’t you work on Wall Street now?
Ford: that’s a coincidence
Gregory: Obama is so cautious
Maraniss: right Obama never takes
risks until he does
Gregory: that is so insightful
Maraniss: Obama is a dullard who
always misses the zeitgeist unlike
that awesome Bill Clinton
Goodwin: Obama needs to be like
Teddy Roosevelt and double
down on regulation
Gregory: ooh
Goodwin: he should say we need more stimulus!
Gregory: that’s a nice idea Doris but
Republicans are right most of the
time aren’t they
Strassel: Obama doesn’t want to talk
about the past he just talks about the
recession of 2008
Gregory: you are so smart
Strassel: Obama has a problem with
white people so he keeps reaching out to
women Hispanics and other assorted weirdos
Halperin: Obama is cheating by being popular
Gregory: how can we all elect Mitt Romney
Ford: Obama must stop attacking
Mitt Romney because fracking is awesome
Gregory: frack yeah!
Goodwin: Obama was only elected
President once - what a loser!
Strassel: America is broke!
Gregory: amazingly you discovered that
Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are
both smart and successful
Maraniss: Clinton had affairs and gets
out of them and Obama likewise is Kenyan
and got out of that
Gregory: wow
Maraniss: Once he got to the
White House Clinton got in trouble with
Monica Lewsinsky and Obama is the same
since after he was elected he became black
Gregory: Harold Ford you must ask yourself -
how did Obama pulls this off?
Ford:
[ stares daggers are Gregory ]
Gregory: Harold?
Ford: Obama is a loser who won’t fight for Simpson-Bowles
Gregory: Romney was raised politicians
Halperin: Romney doesn’t think of himself
as a politician - after all he was elected
once and then fired
Gregory: what does he seem himself as?
Halperin: as a robot sent from the future
to help America’s billionaires
Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet the Press
*********************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - June 17, 2012
Guests:
David Plouffe - Obama Campaign
Tim Pawlenty
Austan Goolsbee
George Will
Katrina vanden Heuvel
*******************************
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney says Obama
should have passed the Dream Act by himself
Plouffe: that jackass said he would veto it
Stephanopoulos: Jeff Sessions says
Obama is a big mean dictator
Plouffe: He’s the damn President fuckers!
Stephanopoulos: but Obama is
bypassing our wonderful Congress
Plouffe: those idiots in Congress are
deliberately hurting America
Stephanopoulos: that’s not
a very nice thing to say
Plouffe: We’re running against the GOP
Congress and they want to return to Bush’s
policies of tax cuts and more wars
Stephanopoulos: who wants more wars?
Plouffe: the GOP always are jonesing more war!
Stephanopoulos: are you very worried
about Greece and the collapse of Europe?
Plouffe: those austerity-loving fuckers
need their shit straight
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney pledged
not bail out Europe
Plouffe: Romney’s economic advisor
published a traitorous editorial in Germany
bashing the President
Stephanopoulos: you thought that was uncalled for
Plouffe: it’s unbelieveable!
Stephanopoulos: Justice Ginsburg said
the ObamaCare decision will be divisive
Plouffe: that is so surprising
Stephanopoulos: what’s your Plan B
when the mandate is overturned
Plouffe: the health care law is helping millions of people
Stephanopoulos: then it’s doomed
Plouffe: I know I know
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: I love undecided voters
because they don’t like either candidate
proving they’re so skeptical and principled!
Will: I’m going to write-in Ronald Reagan
- he’s better-looking than Obama and
more life-like than Romney
Goolsbee: Is it a referendum on Obama or
Republican policies that caused the
recession in the first place
Pawlenty: Obama has no good ideas on
how to fix the recession caused by Republicans
therefore we should elect Republican Mitt Romney
vanden Heuvel: Republicans in Congress
are preventing creation of more jobs!
Stephanopoulos: James Carville says
you will never persuade people the
economy is doing well so don’t try
Dowd: Obama needs to destroy
Mitt Romney instead of letting Mitt
do it all himself
Will: Democrats have make Romney
very scary which will be hard because
he is nice white man
Stephanopoulos: he’s so nice he doesn’t
want to cut spending for the poor
Goolsbee: but he has to keep his promises
Stephanopoulos: no one expects him to do that
Pawlenty: Obama is shrinking like a little boy
demanding a blue ribbon for showing up
Stephanopoulos: good analogy
Pawlenty: we must fix the economy
which was by wrecked by cutting
taxes by cutting taxes!
vanden Heuvel: idiot
Pawlenty: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
vanden Heuvel: Did he save the auto industry?
Did he?
Pawlenty: Romney will take credit for that!
Will: We must not tax our talented
genius job creators!
vanden Heuvel: consumers create jobs!
Dowd: both sides don’t the truth
unlike I brave truth-teller Matthew Dowd
Stephanopoulos: what is the truth?
Dowd: I see we’re out of time
Will: Mitt Romney is very funny because
he made stuff up about how Obama is corrupt
Goolsbee: yes that lie was hilarious
Dowd: If democrats really want to cut
the budget they would cut the budget!
vanden Heuvel: or we could invest in America!
Stephanopoulos: and now I see we’re
definitely out of time
***********************************
David Plouffe - Obama Campaign
Tim Pawlenty
Austan Goolsbee
George Will
Katrina vanden Heuvel
*******************************
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney says Obama
should have passed the Dream Act by himself
Plouffe: that jackass said he would veto it
Stephanopoulos: Jeff Sessions says
Obama is a big mean dictator
Plouffe: He’s the damn President fuckers!
Stephanopoulos: but Obama is
bypassing our wonderful Congress
Plouffe: those idiots in Congress are
deliberately hurting America
Stephanopoulos: that’s not
a very nice thing to say
Plouffe: We’re running against the GOP
Congress and they want to return to Bush’s
policies of tax cuts and more wars
Stephanopoulos: who wants more wars?
Plouffe: the GOP always are jonesing more war!
Stephanopoulos: are you very worried
about Greece and the collapse of Europe?
Plouffe: those austerity-loving fuckers
need their shit straight
Stephanopoulos: Mitt Romney pledged
not bail out Europe
Plouffe: Romney’s economic advisor
published a traitorous editorial in Germany
bashing the President
Stephanopoulos: you thought that was uncalled for
Plouffe: it’s unbelieveable!
Stephanopoulos: Justice Ginsburg said
the ObamaCare decision will be divisive
Plouffe: that is so surprising
Stephanopoulos: what’s your Plan B
when the mandate is overturned
Plouffe: the health care law is helping millions of people
Stephanopoulos: then it’s doomed
Plouffe: I know I know
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: I love undecided voters
because they don’t like either candidate
proving they’re so skeptical and principled!
Will: I’m going to write-in Ronald Reagan
- he’s better-looking than Obama and
more life-like than Romney
Goolsbee: Is it a referendum on Obama or
Republican policies that caused the
recession in the first place
Pawlenty: Obama has no good ideas on
how to fix the recession caused by Republicans
therefore we should elect Republican Mitt Romney
vanden Heuvel: Republicans in Congress
are preventing creation of more jobs!
Stephanopoulos: James Carville says
you will never persuade people the
economy is doing well so don’t try
Dowd: Obama needs to destroy
Mitt Romney instead of letting Mitt
do it all himself
Will: Democrats have make Romney
very scary which will be hard because
he is nice white man
Stephanopoulos: he’s so nice he doesn’t
want to cut spending for the poor
Goolsbee: but he has to keep his promises
Stephanopoulos: no one expects him to do that
Pawlenty: Obama is shrinking like a little boy
demanding a blue ribbon for showing up
Stephanopoulos: good analogy
Pawlenty: we must fix the economy
which was by wrecked by cutting
taxes by cutting taxes!
vanden Heuvel: idiot
Pawlenty: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
vanden Heuvel: Did he save the auto industry?
Did he?
Pawlenty: Romney will take credit for that!
Will: We must not tax our talented
genius job creators!
vanden Heuvel: consumers create jobs!
Dowd: both sides don’t the truth
unlike I brave truth-teller Matthew Dowd
Stephanopoulos: what is the truth?
Dowd: I see we’re out of time
Will: Mitt Romney is very funny because
he made stuff up about how Obama is corrupt
Goolsbee: yes that lie was hilarious
Dowd: If democrats really want to cut
the budget they would cut the budget!
vanden Heuvel: or we could invest in America!
Stephanopoulos: and now I see we’re
definitely out of time
***********************************
Sunday, June 10, 2012
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - June 10, 2012
Guests:
David Axelrod
Rick Santorum
Ed Rendell
Van Jones
Mike Huckabee
Ann Coulter
***********************************
Stephanopoulos: Obama said the
private sector is doing fine!
Axelrod: that could be true
Stephanopoulos: Romney has a new ad out
blaming Obama for the 2007 recession
Axelrod: Obama but he wants to cut
taxes for small businesses and hire
firefighters and teachers
Stephanopoulos: what’s the catch
Axelrod: Romney is living on another planet
if he thinks firing cops is a great idea
Stephanopoulos: Romney / Kodos 2012
Stephanopoulos: you lost the recall in
Wisconsin and now Romney is raising
more money than you
Axelrod: sure he raising more cash --
he wants to give millionaires a big tax cut
Stephanopoulos: I like it
Axelrod: Mitt doesn’t great jobs - just ask
that prudish wacko Rick Santorum
Stephanopoulos: I intend to
Axelrod: we need an economy built to last
- until November anyway
Stephanopoulos: you think that’s a winning message?
Axelrod: Mitt is not a liberator of companies
- he is a destroyer of them!
Stephanopoulos: Is Michele Bachmann right
that Obama is cheating by killing terrorists?
Axelrod: I wish the right would decide
whether he’s an America-hating Kenyan or
he's killing too many American enemies
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming David
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Rick should we fire
firefighters and teachers?
Santorum: Obama is crushing the free
enterprise system! We need George W. Bush back!
Stephanopoulos: you called Mitt Romney
a mustache-twirling Wall Street financier
Santorum: he is but Barack Obama is
an anti-colonial Marxist
Stephanopoulos: that sounds worse
Santorum: Teachers are single-handedly
ruining America
Stephanopoulos: I didn’t know that
Santorum: we have to stop throwing
money at problems
Stephanopoulos: you just set up a SuperPAC
to throw money at politics
Santorum: I see what you did there Stephy
Stephanopoulos: Will you and Ron Paul
fight to the death
Santorum: only one can survive!
Stephanopoulos: do you want to be
Vice President?
Santorum: sure but I don’t think Obama
will dump Joe Biden
Stephanopoulos: ha
Santorum: I want to spend time fighting for
big corporations who have no voice in Washington
Stephanopoulos: good luck Ricky
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: please bash Obama for me
Huckabee: the private sector is not fine!
Jones: losing in Wisconsin is good because
it gave Obama a wake-up call
Coulter: the entire country is enraged against
public school teachers!
[ psychotic laugh ]
Rendell: bashing firefighters? really?
Huckabee: I love firemen but first we must
fire teachers who make $100,000 if you include
all benefits which is outrageous
Jones: Republicans won’t pass their own
bills so they can blame Obama for failing
Stephanopoulos: are you saying they
are rooting for failure?
Jones: no I’m not - I’m saying they
are creating failure!
Coulter: firefighters have huge pensions!
Rendell: would you fire firefighters?
Coulter: [ lunatic chortle ]
Stephanopoulos: Should Obama
attack Bain Capital?
Rendell: first Mitt says he created
10,000 jobs and then it was 100,000 - which is it?
Huckabee: Romney was not supposed
to create any jobs at all and he was
successful at that
Coulter: Mitt Romney has the Midas touch!
Jones: didn’t Midas destroy everything eventually
Coulter: [ sociopathic chuckle ]
Stephanopoulos: let’s use Bill Clinton
to bash Obama!
Huckabee: Bill Clinton was a great President!
Stephanopoulos: you tried to impeach
Clinton and called him a murderer
Huckabee: I miss Bill !!
Rendell: the GOP only wants to destroy Obama
Jones: Republicans lawmakers -
are so insane they are almost as
crazy Ann Coulter
Coulter: Bill Clinton was wonderful!
[ demented giggle ]
Huckabee: Clinton is right - Mitt Romney
should be President!
Stephanopoulos: who should be Vice President?
Huckabee: Romney will choose carefully
unlike John McCain who picked a unqualified ditz
Coulter: I have not been asked to be Vice President
Stephanopoulos: what a surprise
Coulter: he should choose Chris Christie
because has ethnic appeal and hates public unions
Stephanopoulos: Marco Rubio could
help the GOP win Hispanics in Florida
Jones: Obama wants to help homeowners
in Florida and of course the GOP won’t do it
Stephanopoulos: OMG the guy Obama
defeated in 2008 attacked him!
Huckabee: Obama is killing terrorists and
it is terrible that we know that!
Jones: He’s killing people! That’s also bad!
Rendell: to leak information about our
deadly viruses against al qaeda or Iran
or whatever is terrible
Coulter: leaks show Obama is being
tough on terrorism which means
Barack Obama hates America
[ hysterical laughter ]
Jones: I don’t have to support
everything Obama does
Coulter: Conservative don’t blindly support
Republicans - also Mitt Romney is the
greatest thing ever!
Stephanopoulos: people think the Supreme
Court has become entirely political
Huckabee: therefore the Supreme Court
should look at the polls and overturn Obamacare
Stephanopoulos: they should ignore the
law and only apply politics?
Huckabee: yes - following popular opinion
in required by the Constitution!
Jones: like they did in Bush v Gore
Coulter: Bush v Gore was a great decision!
Huckabee: the mandate is evil and unconstitutional
Jones: holy fuck the individual mandate
was an idea from the Heritage Foundation
Stephanopoulos: and yet polls say it
is wildly unpopular
Jones: what a fucking coincidence
Coulter: [ disturbing howl ]
Stephanopoulos: and that’s another episode
of This Week with George Stephanopoulos
****************************************************
David Axelrod
Rick Santorum
Ed Rendell
Van Jones
Mike Huckabee
Ann Coulter
***********************************
Stephanopoulos: Obama said the
private sector is doing fine!
Axelrod: that could be true
Stephanopoulos: Romney has a new ad out
blaming Obama for the 2007 recession
Axelrod: Obama but he wants to cut
taxes for small businesses and hire
firefighters and teachers
Stephanopoulos: what’s the catch
Axelrod: Romney is living on another planet
if he thinks firing cops is a great idea
Stephanopoulos: Romney / Kodos 2012
Stephanopoulos: you lost the recall in
Wisconsin and now Romney is raising
more money than you
Axelrod: sure he raising more cash --
he wants to give millionaires a big tax cut
Stephanopoulos: I like it
Axelrod: Mitt doesn’t great jobs - just ask
that prudish wacko Rick Santorum
Stephanopoulos: I intend to
Axelrod: we need an economy built to last
- until November anyway
Stephanopoulos: you think that’s a winning message?
Axelrod: Mitt is not a liberator of companies
- he is a destroyer of them!
Stephanopoulos: Is Michele Bachmann right
that Obama is cheating by killing terrorists?
Axelrod: I wish the right would decide
whether he’s an America-hating Kenyan or
he's killing too many American enemies
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming David
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Rick should we fire
firefighters and teachers?
Santorum: Obama is crushing the free
enterprise system! We need George W. Bush back!
Stephanopoulos: you called Mitt Romney
a mustache-twirling Wall Street financier
Santorum: he is but Barack Obama is
an anti-colonial Marxist
Stephanopoulos: that sounds worse
Santorum: Teachers are single-handedly
ruining America
Stephanopoulos: I didn’t know that
Santorum: we have to stop throwing
money at problems
Stephanopoulos: you just set up a SuperPAC
to throw money at politics
Santorum: I see what you did there Stephy
Stephanopoulos: Will you and Ron Paul
fight to the death
Santorum: only one can survive!
Stephanopoulos: do you want to be
Vice President?
Santorum: sure but I don’t think Obama
will dump Joe Biden
Stephanopoulos: ha
Santorum: I want to spend time fighting for
big corporations who have no voice in Washington
Stephanopoulos: good luck Ricky
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: please bash Obama for me
Huckabee: the private sector is not fine!
Jones: losing in Wisconsin is good because
it gave Obama a wake-up call
Coulter: the entire country is enraged against
public school teachers!
[ psychotic laugh ]
Rendell: bashing firefighters? really?
Huckabee: I love firemen but first we must
fire teachers who make $100,000 if you include
all benefits which is outrageous
Jones: Republicans won’t pass their own
bills so they can blame Obama for failing
Stephanopoulos: are you saying they
are rooting for failure?
Jones: no I’m not - I’m saying they
are creating failure!
Coulter: firefighters have huge pensions!
Rendell: would you fire firefighters?
Coulter: [ lunatic chortle ]
Stephanopoulos: Should Obama
attack Bain Capital?
Rendell: first Mitt says he created
10,000 jobs and then it was 100,000 - which is it?
Huckabee: Romney was not supposed
to create any jobs at all and he was
successful at that
Coulter: Mitt Romney has the Midas touch!
Jones: didn’t Midas destroy everything eventually
Coulter: [ sociopathic chuckle ]
Stephanopoulos: let’s use Bill Clinton
to bash Obama!
Huckabee: Bill Clinton was a great President!
Stephanopoulos: you tried to impeach
Clinton and called him a murderer
Huckabee: I miss Bill !!
Rendell: the GOP only wants to destroy Obama
Jones: Republicans lawmakers -
are so insane they are almost as
crazy Ann Coulter
Coulter: Bill Clinton was wonderful!
[ demented giggle ]
Huckabee: Clinton is right - Mitt Romney
should be President!
Stephanopoulos: who should be Vice President?
Huckabee: Romney will choose carefully
unlike John McCain who picked a unqualified ditz
Coulter: I have not been asked to be Vice President
Stephanopoulos: what a surprise
Coulter: he should choose Chris Christie
because has ethnic appeal and hates public unions
Stephanopoulos: Marco Rubio could
help the GOP win Hispanics in Florida
Jones: Obama wants to help homeowners
in Florida and of course the GOP won’t do it
Stephanopoulos: OMG the guy Obama
defeated in 2008 attacked him!
Huckabee: Obama is killing terrorists and
it is terrible that we know that!
Jones: He’s killing people! That’s also bad!
Rendell: to leak information about our
deadly viruses against al qaeda or Iran
or whatever is terrible
Coulter: leaks show Obama is being
tough on terrorism which means
Barack Obama hates America
[ hysterical laughter ]
Jones: I don’t have to support
everything Obama does
Coulter: Conservative don’t blindly support
Republicans - also Mitt Romney is the
greatest thing ever!
Stephanopoulos: people think the Supreme
Court has become entirely political
Huckabee: therefore the Supreme Court
should look at the polls and overturn Obamacare
Stephanopoulos: they should ignore the
law and only apply politics?
Huckabee: yes - following popular opinion
in required by the Constitution!
Jones: like they did in Bush v Gore
Coulter: Bush v Gore was a great decision!
Huckabee: the mandate is evil and unconstitutional
Jones: holy fuck the individual mandate
was an idea from the Heritage Foundation
Stephanopoulos: and yet polls say it
is wildly unpopular
Jones: what a fucking coincidence
Coulter: [ disturbing howl ]
Stephanopoulos: and that’s another episode
of This Week with George Stephanopoulos
****************************************************
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Meet The Press - May 27, 2012
Guests:
Gov. Martin O'Malley (D-MD)
Newt Gingrich
Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (D-Los Angeles)
Carly Fiorina
E.J. Dionne
David Brooks
Maria Shriver
Michael Lewis
******************************
Gregory: Newt do you support Mitt Romney
Gingrich: eh - I guess I mean he is white
Gregory: what did you learn about
Mitt when you lost to him
Gingrich: he’s a completely vicious amoral liar
Gregory: so you gained a lot of respect for him
Gingrich: absolutely
Gregory: Is Obama anti-business?
O’Malley: no he isn’t Fluffy
Gregory: are you sure?
O’Malley: Romney destroyed jobs as
a businessman and then wrecked Massachusetts
Gingrich: Obama caused the recession in 2007!
Gregory: oooh zinger
Gingrich: Solyndra!
Gregory: didn’t you also attack Bain?
Gingrich: I never went after private equity
- I just attacked it
Gregory: can you defend private equity then?
Gingrich: Unemployment was low in
Massachusetts many years ago!
O’Malley: Obama inherited a recession
and added million of jobs and now
unemployment is at a three-year low
Gregory: those are just numbers
O'Malley: Romney would bring back Bush policies
which caused the recession in the first place!
Gregory: but you once shook hands
with someone from private equity
O'Malley: yes but I showered afterwards
Gingrich: Obama caused a depression in 2008!
O'Malley: that’s stupid you racist grifter
Gingrich: Obama has raised the debt!
O'Malley: Romney drove up the debt
in Massachusetts and added
government employees
Gingrich: Obama raised the price of gas
O'Malley: the price of gas is going down
you ignorant trogdolyte
Gregory: how can we elect Mitt Romney
Gingrich: Frankly Bain Capital should
be nominated for sainthood
O'Malley: ‘Bush Recession’ - ring a bell?
Gingrich: Republicans never talk
about Jimmy Carter
Gregory: ha that’s a good one newticles
Gingrich: Newt you’re a sociopath and
even you said Mitt was heartless to immigrants
Gingrich: Mexicans love cars and will
vote for Romney to get lower gas prices
Gregory: let’s bash Obama some more
O'Malley: we need to spend more
on bridges and schools
Gregory: so Obama will spend more
if he’s reelected?
O'Malley: no - he’s just not going
to be Mitt Romney!
Gingrich: we could help poor illegal
immigrant children by giving them
lucrative jobs as janitors
Gregory: what advice would you have
to anyone running for President?
Gingrich: raise a lot of money and try
not to be a racist dickhead in public
Gregory: are you greatly disappointed
in the American people for not seeing
your awesomeness and electing you
Gingrich: no because I would not want to
be President of such a thoroughly useless
group of people as Americans
Gregory: you would you like to be
the Vice President candidate
Gingrich: such an office is beneath me
as it does not pay at least $1 million
Gregory: Marty will you run for
President in 2016?
O'Malley: Did you know Scott Walker
has a criminal defense fund
Besty: shut him up! shut him up!
Gregory: let’s take a break
Gregory: we know it’s election season
because famous people are voluntarily
going to Cleveland and Cincinnati
Audience: nobody puts Akron in a corner
Gregory: the most important issues in
America are the evil Hilary Rosen and
how wonderful Bain Capital is
Brooks: people used to like Obama but
now they will hate him because he
attacked Bain Capital
Dionne: the debate about Bain Capital is
worth having because we need to discuss
what kind of capitalism we want
Gregory: oh I don't think so
Fiorina: Bain invested in small start-ups
and created many jobs!
Gregory: well I’m sold
Fiorina: Obama is an untested amateur!
Gregory: that’s true in a way
Fiorina: Obama will fail because the
American people love Bain
Brooks: exactly - criticizing financiers
is a losing argument!
Villaraigosa: you guys crack me up
Gregory: why Antonio?
Villaraigosa: Romney put Bain Capital
front-and-center and it will ruin him
Gregory: sadly Obama is apparently
leading in every fucking category of voter
Brooks: not in Europe
Gregory: well that’s something
Brooks: Obama is popular but he will
lose this election because he just so mean
Fiorina: Frankly Obama is disappointingly not nice
Dionne: good god what a load of tripe
Gregory: can we tip this election to Romney
if we put Marco Rubio on the ticket?
Villaraigosa: Romney wants 11 million
people deported
Brooks: that’s probably not going to help
Gregory: the heroic Scott Walker
may be recalled
Brooks: it is true Scott Walker is evil but
he has some great ideas
Gregory: speaking of obnoxious blowhards
- Donald Trump endorsed Mitt Romney
Dionne: indeed Romney is very wise
to hitch his wagon to the Trump star
Colin Powell: Mitt Romney’s foreign policy
makes normal Republicans ask themselves
- what the fuck?
Fiorina: what Mitt meant is that Vladimir
Putin is an untrustworthy bastard
Gregory: Maria give me some life advice
because I feel like something has
gone very wrong with me
Shriver: Fluffy you need to pause and ask
- why do I hate myself
Lewis: here’s the thing about commencement
speeches - kids don’t fucking care what some
old sell-out has to say
Gregory: but I did one a few weeks ago
Lewis: oh well then I stand corrected
Shriver: as a nation we’re all graduating
into a world where our failed governor husbands
admit they had a child with the nanny and
went on to make terrible movies
Gregory: should people do what they
love or should they become corporate whores?
Lewis: I quit Wall Street and went on
to write books and I’m really glad I did
Gregory: dear god how awful
Gregory: Maria your father said people
should break their mirrors and stop
being so self-obsessed - was he crazy
Shriver: he was railing against our
societal narcissism Fluffy
Gregory: [ fluffs hair ]
sorry what
Lewis: I just hope I get something
good out of this - maybe a Princeton
admission for my kids
Shriver: ha - that’s not going to happen
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
**************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - May 27, 2012
Host: Jake Tapper
Guests:
Leon Panetta - Secretary of Defense
George Will
Ron Brownstein
Liz Claman
Nia-Malika Henderson
*********************************
Tapper: wow it’s memorial day and
we’re still at war for the 11th straight year
- that’s an all-time record!
Audience: USA! USA!
Tapper: Leon how terrified should I be?
Panetta: very very scared
Tapper: yikes
Panetta: I was head of the CIA and I got
information that would make you
hide under your bed
Tapper: like what
Panetta: they’re creating another
tv show about the Kardashians
Tapper: oh my god
Tapper: what happens when we leave
and the Taliban take over Afghanistan?
Panetta: in 10 years of fighting against the
U.S. Army the Taliban is slightly weaker
- so we’re on the right track
Tapper: are you fucking kidding
Panetta: the American people need
to know our fight with the Taliban
is just beginning
Tapper: I can’t believe this shit I’m hearing
Panetta: I know it’s bad but we’re going
in the right direction Tappy
Tapper: General Allen says the good news
is that our ally caught Afghan soldiers who
were planning to kill Americans
Panetta: right
Tapper: that doesn’t seem like good news me
Panetta: true but after 10 years we have
finally trained Afghans to fight and kill
Tapper: Mitt Romney says you’re naïve
for telling our enemies the date we’re leaving
Panetta: well we are leaving and we have
to set a date so the troops know
to set their DVRs
Tapper: that makes sense
Panetta: we won the war! it’s over!
Tapper: A Pakistani doctor helped us
catch bin Laden and for his reward Pakistan
gave him a gold star and life in prison
Panetta: it’s absolutely incredible -
he helped us get a notorious murderer of Americans
Tapper: how can they be our ally or
even be trusted - bin Laden killed muslims too!
Panetta: I know but Pakistan knows where
the bodies are buried - literally
Tapper: we give them billions of dollars
and they are trying to haggle over the
cost to drive their roads
Panetta: fuck that shit -
no more than $500 per truck!
Tapper: should we invade Yemen?
Panetta: why bother - it’s hot and boring
Tapper: al-qaeda has taken over
the whole country
Panetta: three words: Game Of Drones
Tapper: doesn’t that create even more enemies?
Panetta: our flying robots of death defend
Americans by killing people from the air
Tapper: Iran is running out the clock
until they build a bomb
Panetta: not at all Tappy
Tapper: are we going to attack Iran?
Panetta: we will if we have to
Tapper: do you often share classified
information with Hollywood moviemakers
Panetta: we only share enough information
to guarantee a good opening weekend
with a high market share
Tapper: are you sick of our liberal
President chest-thumping about his successes?
Panetta: Americans should be proud
of getting bin Laden
Tapper: but Obama politicized the victory
Panetta: boo fucking hoo
Tapper: Harry Reid wants to cut
the defense budget
Panetta: the automatic cuts would
be a total disaster!
Tapper: wow
Tapper: if Obama is reelected will you
go work for a defense contractor or
will you go into private equity?
Panetta: Lets’ just say my two miniature
dobermans are named Lockheed and Martin
Gregory: thanks for coming Leon
[ break ]
Tapper: Obama is attacking Bain Capital!
Will: Solyndra! Socialism!
Claman: Private equity is great but it
doesn’t create jobs
Brownstein: Obama has been effective
in taking down Romney but now he has to
tell people how he would fix America
Henderson: The Romney camp is telling
supporters not to worry since he is only
just beginning to alienate
people across America
Tapper: good news!
*********************************
Guests:
Leon Panetta - Secretary of Defense
George Will
Ron Brownstein
Liz Claman
Nia-Malika Henderson
*********************************
Tapper: wow it’s memorial day and
we’re still at war for the 11th straight year
- that’s an all-time record!
Audience: USA! USA!
Tapper: Leon how terrified should I be?
Panetta: very very scared
Tapper: yikes
Panetta: I was head of the CIA and I got
information that would make you
hide under your bed
Tapper: like what
Panetta: they’re creating another
tv show about the Kardashians
Tapper: oh my god
Tapper: what happens when we leave
and the Taliban take over Afghanistan?
Panetta: in 10 years of fighting against the
U.S. Army the Taliban is slightly weaker
- so we’re on the right track
Tapper: are you fucking kidding
Panetta: the American people need
to know our fight with the Taliban
is just beginning
Tapper: I can’t believe this shit I’m hearing
Panetta: I know it’s bad but we’re going
in the right direction Tappy
Tapper: General Allen says the good news
is that our ally caught Afghan soldiers who
were planning to kill Americans
Panetta: right
Tapper: that doesn’t seem like good news me
Panetta: true but after 10 years we have
finally trained Afghans to fight and kill
Tapper: Mitt Romney says you’re naïve
for telling our enemies the date we’re leaving
Panetta: well we are leaving and we have
to set a date so the troops know
to set their DVRs
Tapper: that makes sense
Panetta: we won the war! it’s over!
Tapper: A Pakistani doctor helped us
catch bin Laden and for his reward Pakistan
gave him a gold star and life in prison
Panetta: it’s absolutely incredible -
he helped us get a notorious murderer of Americans
Tapper: how can they be our ally or
even be trusted - bin Laden killed muslims too!
Panetta: I know but Pakistan knows where
the bodies are buried - literally
Tapper: we give them billions of dollars
and they are trying to haggle over the
cost to drive their roads
Panetta: fuck that shit -
no more than $500 per truck!
Tapper: should we invade Yemen?
Panetta: why bother - it’s hot and boring
Tapper: al-qaeda has taken over
the whole country
Panetta: three words: Game Of Drones
Tapper: doesn’t that create even more enemies?
Panetta: our flying robots of death defend
Americans by killing people from the air
Tapper: Iran is running out the clock
until they build a bomb
Panetta: not at all Tappy
Tapper: are we going to attack Iran?
Panetta: we will if we have to
Tapper: do you often share classified
information with Hollywood moviemakers
Panetta: we only share enough information
to guarantee a good opening weekend
with a high market share
Tapper: are you sick of our liberal
President chest-thumping about his successes?
Panetta: Americans should be proud
of getting bin Laden
Tapper: but Obama politicized the victory
Panetta: boo fucking hoo
Tapper: Harry Reid wants to cut
the defense budget
Panetta: the automatic cuts would
be a total disaster!
Tapper: wow
Tapper: if Obama is reelected will you
go work for a defense contractor or
will you go into private equity?
Panetta: Lets’ just say my two miniature
dobermans are named Lockheed and Martin
Gregory: thanks for coming Leon
[ break ]
Tapper: Obama is attacking Bain Capital!
Will: Solyndra! Socialism!
Claman: Private equity is great but it
doesn’t create jobs
Brownstein: Obama has been effective
in taking down Romney but now he has to
tell people how he would fix America
Henderson: The Romney camp is telling
supporters not to worry since he is only
just beginning to alienate
people across America
Tapper: good news!
*********************************
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Meet The Press - May 20, 2012
Guests:
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Mayor Cory Booker (D-Newark)
Jim Cramer
Kimberly Strassel
Mike Murphy
********************
Gregory: wow look at these crazy
violent NATO protestors!
Audience: ooh white people
Gregory: the question for today is how
do we get the economy growing
besides slashing spending?
Audience: ye gods
Gregory: Paul - did austerity in Europe fail?
Ryan: no they just didn’t
have enough austerity!
Gregory: I see
Ryan: we are going to pre-empt austerity
by putting it in place before we have to
Gregory: Do you liberals just want more debt?
Durbin: no the answer is cut spending
but preserving programs which spend money
Gregory: I see
Durbin: Paul Ryan wants to give
rich people $150,000
Gregory: can we cut spending and
have economic growth?
Durbin: yes - we just can’t cut
any popular programs
Ryan: my plan increases spending -
we just slow it down!
Gregory: wow!
Ryan: if we slash the debt now we
can finally bring interest rates down!
Gregory: I hear even Republicans hate your plan
Ryan: that’s only when people found what is in it
Gregory: that sounds like a problem
Ryan: look I just want to cut taxes
for rich people and slash Medicaid
Gregory: the reality is that politicians
can’t agree on the spending cuts I want
Durbin: that is so fucking sad
Gregory: Boehner says wants
to risk default again
Durbin: I was stunned - he almost killed
the U.S. economy last year
Gregory: ha
Durbin: I voted for Simpson-Bowles
and to put everything on the table
and the GOP said no
Gregory: how politically skillful you are
Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t it true that
Joe Biden is a horrible person
Ryan: yes
Gregory: I’m glad you admitted it
Ryan: Bowles-Simpson is a failure because
it won’t cut health care for old people
Gregory: that’s a shame
Ryan: this election is all about which
vision for slashing the debt is best
Gregory: so will you compromise?
Ryan: that’s all I’ve been doing!
Gregory: how so?
Ryan: We must slash spending before
we are forced to slash spending!
Gregory: are you wiling to raise taxes?
Ryan: yes! by cutting taxes!
Gregory: if you lose the election
will you change your mind?
Ryan: we have a massive debt crisis!
Gregory: Dick what if Governor Romney
wins the election - will you finally cut
taxes for rich people like me?
Durbin: I have a plan with to implement
Simpson-Bowles with Tom Coburn
and he’s a fucking lunatic
Gregory: Obama leads in every poll
but the one I’m putting up now
Durbin: Obama saved the economy Fluffy
Ryan: We can avoid austerity if
we just slash spending!
Gregory: are you going to be
the Vice President?
Ryan: why not me?
Gregory: coming next - if the election
were held today, how confusing would that be?
[ break ]
Gregory: the election won’t solve the debt or cut taxes
Murphy: I know it’s so sad
Strassel: not if Republicans take over everything
Gregory: we can only hope
Cramer: no one like tax loopholes
Gregory: why didn’t Obama cut rich
people’s taxes - he could have gotten
bipartisan agreement on that!
Booker: I like you Fluffy but with
all respect you are an idiot
Greg: let’s look at Romney’s recent
piece of propaganda
[ plays ad ]
Gregory: wow that was a really powerful ad
Cramer: yes but he’s going to get killed on Bain
Strassel: he’s tearing down Obama
and it’s not enough
Gregory: I want to get back to how
wonderful Romney is
Murphy: this election is a race to
define Mitt Romney
Gregory: oh noe
Gregory: Obama says Romney is a
200 year old vampire
Booker: I love Bain Capital
Gregory: everyone I talk to says
private equity is totally awesome
Booker: Obama cuts taxes and
cut spending!
Gregory: great!
Booker: Obamacare rocks!
Gregory: go Cory go
Booker: attacking Bain Capital
is nauseating!
Strassel: Bain is a savior of businesses!
Gregory: how can we persuade people
to vote for Mitt Romney?
Murphy: criticizing Romney on Bain
is the single worst ad in American history
Cramer: firing people is chic
Gregory: le freak c’est chic
Booker: I fired people too and it
was surprisingly fun
Gregory: sweet
Booker: Obama is right on the big issues!
Cramer: Obama saved the auto industry
- let him talk about that!
Murphy: Romney would have also
saved the auto industry
Cramer: bullshit!
Booker: trickle-down economics doesn’t work
Strassel: Obama thinks all private business is bad
Gregory: hee hee
Gregory: a GOP Super Pac wants to
go after Rev. Wright
Murphy: that story was totally unfair to racists
Gregory: this is just like going after
Romney for his Mormon faith which
is not actually happening
Strassel: Obama is smearing Romney
donors so he is the bad guy here
Murphy: it was racist unfair smearing
to say Romney has no political core
just because he has no convictions
Gregory: will Chris Christie be Vice President?
Booker: Would I like him to leave
New Jersey - absolutely!
Gregory: what about Europe?
Cramer: German austerity will lead to
a damn global recession
Gregory: Facebook is a terrible failure
because it’s only worth $100 billion
Cramer: Sell! Sell! Sell!
Booker: scribbling
[ ‘note to self: buy facebook’ ]
Rubio: Obama is terribly divisive!
Gregory: Obama didn’t make Republicans
act normal like he promised he would
Booker: that is the stupidest thing
you’ve ever said Fluffy
Gregory: I disagree - I’ve said
much stupider things
Murphy: they said Romney has no core
which is racist demagoguery
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
******************************
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL)
Mayor Cory Booker (D-Newark)
Jim Cramer
Kimberly Strassel
Mike Murphy
********************
Gregory: wow look at these crazy
violent NATO protestors!
Audience: ooh white people
Gregory: the question for today is how
do we get the economy growing
besides slashing spending?
Audience: ye gods
Gregory: Paul - did austerity in Europe fail?
Ryan: no they just didn’t
have enough austerity!
Gregory: I see
Ryan: we are going to pre-empt austerity
by putting it in place before we have to
Gregory: Do you liberals just want more debt?
Durbin: no the answer is cut spending
but preserving programs which spend money
Gregory: I see
Durbin: Paul Ryan wants to give
rich people $150,000
Gregory: can we cut spending and
have economic growth?
Durbin: yes - we just can’t cut
any popular programs
Ryan: my plan increases spending -
we just slow it down!
Gregory: wow!
Ryan: if we slash the debt now we
can finally bring interest rates down!
Gregory: I hear even Republicans hate your plan
Ryan: that’s only when people found what is in it
Gregory: that sounds like a problem
Ryan: look I just want to cut taxes
for rich people and slash Medicaid
Gregory: the reality is that politicians
can’t agree on the spending cuts I want
Durbin: that is so fucking sad
Gregory: Boehner says wants
to risk default again
Durbin: I was stunned - he almost killed
the U.S. economy last year
Gregory: ha
Durbin: I voted for Simpson-Bowles
and to put everything on the table
and the GOP said no
Gregory: how politically skillful you are
Gregory: Paul Ryan isn’t it true that
Joe Biden is a horrible person
Ryan: yes
Gregory: I’m glad you admitted it
Ryan: Bowles-Simpson is a failure because
it won’t cut health care for old people
Gregory: that’s a shame
Ryan: this election is all about which
vision for slashing the debt is best
Gregory: so will you compromise?
Ryan: that’s all I’ve been doing!
Gregory: how so?
Ryan: We must slash spending before
we are forced to slash spending!
Gregory: are you wiling to raise taxes?
Ryan: yes! by cutting taxes!
Gregory: if you lose the election
will you change your mind?
Ryan: we have a massive debt crisis!
Gregory: Dick what if Governor Romney
wins the election - will you finally cut
taxes for rich people like me?
Durbin: I have a plan with to implement
Simpson-Bowles with Tom Coburn
and he’s a fucking lunatic
Gregory: Obama leads in every poll
but the one I’m putting up now
Durbin: Obama saved the economy Fluffy
Ryan: We can avoid austerity if
we just slash spending!
Gregory: are you going to be
the Vice President?
Ryan: why not me?
Gregory: coming next - if the election
were held today, how confusing would that be?
[ break ]
Gregory: the election won’t solve the debt or cut taxes
Murphy: I know it’s so sad
Strassel: not if Republicans take over everything
Gregory: we can only hope
Cramer: no one like tax loopholes
Gregory: why didn’t Obama cut rich
people’s taxes - he could have gotten
bipartisan agreement on that!
Booker: I like you Fluffy but with
all respect you are an idiot
Greg: let’s look at Romney’s recent
piece of propaganda
[ plays ad ]
Gregory: wow that was a really powerful ad
Cramer: yes but he’s going to get killed on Bain
Strassel: he’s tearing down Obama
and it’s not enough
Gregory: I want to get back to how
wonderful Romney is
Murphy: this election is a race to
define Mitt Romney
Gregory: oh noe
Gregory: Obama says Romney is a
200 year old vampire
Booker: I love Bain Capital
Gregory: everyone I talk to says
private equity is totally awesome
Booker: Obama cuts taxes and
cut spending!
Gregory: great!
Booker: Obamacare rocks!
Gregory: go Cory go
Booker: attacking Bain Capital
is nauseating!
Strassel: Bain is a savior of businesses!
Gregory: how can we persuade people
to vote for Mitt Romney?
Murphy: criticizing Romney on Bain
is the single worst ad in American history
Cramer: firing people is chic
Gregory: le freak c’est chic
Booker: I fired people too and it
was surprisingly fun
Gregory: sweet
Booker: Obama is right on the big issues!
Cramer: Obama saved the auto industry
- let him talk about that!
Murphy: Romney would have also
saved the auto industry
Cramer: bullshit!
Booker: trickle-down economics doesn’t work
Strassel: Obama thinks all private business is bad
Gregory: hee hee
Gregory: a GOP Super Pac wants to
go after Rev. Wright
Murphy: that story was totally unfair to racists
Gregory: this is just like going after
Romney for his Mormon faith which
is not actually happening
Strassel: Obama is smearing Romney
donors so he is the bad guy here
Murphy: it was racist unfair smearing
to say Romney has no political core
just because he has no convictions
Gregory: will Chris Christie be Vice President?
Booker: Would I like him to leave
New Jersey - absolutely!
Gregory: what about Europe?
Cramer: German austerity will lead to
a damn global recession
Gregory: Facebook is a terrible failure
because it’s only worth $100 billion
Cramer: Sell! Sell! Sell!
Booker: scribbling
[ ‘note to self: buy facebook’ ]
Rubio: Obama is terribly divisive!
Gregory: Obama didn’t make Republicans
act normal like he promised he would
Booker: that is the stupidest thing
you’ve ever said Fluffy
Gregory: I disagree - I’ve said
much stupider things
Murphy: they said Romney has no core
which is racist demagoguery
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
******************************
This Week with George Stephanopoulos - May 20, 2012
Guests:
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
Gavin Newsom
George Will
Matthew Dowd
Laura Ingraham
*******************
Stephanopoulos: wow austerity completely
failed so Boehner wants to slash spending
Audience: of course
Stephanopoulos: John why are you so
focused on the debt
Boehner: if we cut the debt your local
pizza shop will finally higher more people
Stephanopoulos: you’re joking
Boehner: the most important issue in
America is the debt!
Stephanopoulos: if default is so scary why
would you threaten to default?
Boehner: because we must increase
defense spending
Stephanopoulos: why default now?
Boehner: because we still have a chance
to make the Obama Presidency failure!
Stephanopoulos: most people think
you are a failure as a Speaker
Boehner: these Tea Party frogs won’t stay
in the wheelbarrow
Stephanopoulos: that’s quite an image
Boehner: Democrats control this city!
[ sobs]
Stephanopoulos: you’re the Speaker of the House!
Boehner: everyone is so mean!!
[ sniffles ]
Stephanopoulos: Democrats say Bain Capital
was a job-killing vampire
Boehner: Mitt Romney is rich and successful!
Stephanopoulos: does that mean
he should be President?
Boehner: he’s a handsome white guy!
Stephanopoulos: what about Rev. Wright?
Boehner: it’s all nonsense - the election
is about how Obama caused the
recession in 2007
Stephanopoulos: Should Facebook geeks
be allowed to renounce their citizenship?
Boehner: it’s outrageous!
Stephanopoulos: JP Morgan lost $3 billion
- do we need more regulation or
should we repeal Dodd-Frank?
Boehner: so JP Morgan lost a little money
but customers and taxpayers were never at risk
Stephanopoulos: are you sure?
Boehner: no
Stephanopoulos: repeal Dodd-Frank?
Boehner: we need more gambling on Wall Street!
Stephanopoulos: will you lose the House?
Boehner: a lot of tea party freshman are morons
Stephanopoulos: good point
Stephanopoulos: will you be re-elected Speaker?
Boehner: yeah
Stephanopoulos: good lord why
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: should we fight over
the debt ceiling?
Pelosi: no it’s childish
Stephanopoulos: should we do it right now
Pelosi: yes - let’s cut taxes for the middle class
Stephanopoulos: wouldn’t that make the deficit worse?
Pelosi: let’s grow America!
Stephanopoulos: Boehner says his members
are uncontrollable lunatics
Pelosi: oh believe me he’s right about that
Stephanopoulos: you endorsed Simpson-Bowles
and Russ Feingold freaked out
Pelosi: I like the balance of Simpson-Bowles
except the cuts to Social Security
Stephanopoulos: Boehner says only Republicans
can save the economy they killed
Pelosi: Obama took us from a Depression
to a happy place
Stephanopoulos: can Democrats win
the next election?
Pelosi: damn right we can Stephy
Stephanopoulos: Dianne Feinstein says
the Taliban could take over Afghanistan
Pelosi: who the hell cares - we’ve been
there 10 years
Stephanopoulos: how does Obama win the election?
Pelosi: Win the future - win the election
Stephanopoulos: is it fair to call ads
about Rev. Wright race-baiting?
Pelosi: sure it is
Stephanopoulos: you’ve been in the
House for 25 years
Pelosi: Democrats will come back better than ever
Stephanopoulos: then what?
Pelosi: overturn Citizens United and
get public financing of campaigns
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: what about the fiscal cliff?
Will: the debt ceiling debate was great
- let’s do it again
Stephanopoulos: but our credit rating
was downgraded
Will: Obama is a snooty bastard who
wanted a clean debt bill
Stephanopoulos: that’s what every
President got before him
Will: [ snort ]
Stephanopoulos: don’t they want to
cut the debt just to hurt President Obama?
Ingraham: yes which is why we must
deal with the debt now!
Stephanopoulos: this whole conversation is crazy!
Dowd: Dysfunction today! Dysfunction tomorrow! Dysfunction forever!
Will: I love dysfunction
Ingraham: We have no money!
Newsom: unemployed people cannot
afford this stupidity
Stephanopoulos: let’s take a break so
everyone on the panel can take their medication
********************************
Speaker John Boehner (R-OH)
Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)
Gavin Newsom
George Will
Matthew Dowd
Laura Ingraham
*******************
Stephanopoulos: wow austerity completely
failed so Boehner wants to slash spending
Audience: of course
Stephanopoulos: John why are you so
focused on the debt
Boehner: if we cut the debt your local
pizza shop will finally higher more people
Stephanopoulos: you’re joking
Boehner: the most important issue in
America is the debt!
Stephanopoulos: if default is so scary why
would you threaten to default?
Boehner: because we must increase
defense spending
Stephanopoulos: why default now?
Boehner: because we still have a chance
to make the Obama Presidency failure!
Stephanopoulos: most people think
you are a failure as a Speaker
Boehner: these Tea Party frogs won’t stay
in the wheelbarrow
Stephanopoulos: that’s quite an image
Boehner: Democrats control this city!
[ sobs]
Stephanopoulos: you’re the Speaker of the House!
Boehner: everyone is so mean!!
[ sniffles ]
Stephanopoulos: Democrats say Bain Capital
was a job-killing vampire
Boehner: Mitt Romney is rich and successful!
Stephanopoulos: does that mean
he should be President?
Boehner: he’s a handsome white guy!
Stephanopoulos: what about Rev. Wright?
Boehner: it’s all nonsense - the election
is about how Obama caused the
recession in 2007
Stephanopoulos: Should Facebook geeks
be allowed to renounce their citizenship?
Boehner: it’s outrageous!
Stephanopoulos: JP Morgan lost $3 billion
- do we need more regulation or
should we repeal Dodd-Frank?
Boehner: so JP Morgan lost a little money
but customers and taxpayers were never at risk
Stephanopoulos: are you sure?
Boehner: no
Stephanopoulos: repeal Dodd-Frank?
Boehner: we need more gambling on Wall Street!
Stephanopoulos: will you lose the House?
Boehner: a lot of tea party freshman are morons
Stephanopoulos: good point
Stephanopoulos: will you be re-elected Speaker?
Boehner: yeah
Stephanopoulos: good lord why
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: should we fight over
the debt ceiling?
Pelosi: no it’s childish
Stephanopoulos: should we do it right now
Pelosi: yes - let’s cut taxes for the middle class
Stephanopoulos: wouldn’t that make the deficit worse?
Pelosi: let’s grow America!
Stephanopoulos: Boehner says his members
are uncontrollable lunatics
Pelosi: oh believe me he’s right about that
Stephanopoulos: you endorsed Simpson-Bowles
and Russ Feingold freaked out
Pelosi: I like the balance of Simpson-Bowles
except the cuts to Social Security
Stephanopoulos: Boehner says only Republicans
can save the economy they killed
Pelosi: Obama took us from a Depression
to a happy place
Stephanopoulos: can Democrats win
the next election?
Pelosi: damn right we can Stephy
Stephanopoulos: Dianne Feinstein says
the Taliban could take over Afghanistan
Pelosi: who the hell cares - we’ve been
there 10 years
Stephanopoulos: how does Obama win the election?
Pelosi: Win the future - win the election
Stephanopoulos: is it fair to call ads
about Rev. Wright race-baiting?
Pelosi: sure it is
Stephanopoulos: you’ve been in the
House for 25 years
Pelosi: Democrats will come back better than ever
Stephanopoulos: then what?
Pelosi: overturn Citizens United and
get public financing of campaigns
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: what about the fiscal cliff?
Will: the debt ceiling debate was great
- let’s do it again
Stephanopoulos: but our credit rating
was downgraded
Will: Obama is a snooty bastard who
wanted a clean debt bill
Stephanopoulos: that’s what every
President got before him
Will: [ snort ]
Stephanopoulos: don’t they want to
cut the debt just to hurt President Obama?
Ingraham: yes which is why we must
deal with the debt now!
Stephanopoulos: this whole conversation is crazy!
Dowd: Dysfunction today! Dysfunction tomorrow! Dysfunction forever!
Will: I love dysfunction
Ingraham: We have no money!
Newsom: unemployed people cannot
afford this stupidity
Stephanopoulos: let’s take a break so
everyone on the panel can take their medication
********************************
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Meet The Press - May 13, 2012
Guests:
Jamie Dimon - CEO JP Morgan Chase
Reince Preibus - Chair, Republican
National Committee
Rep. Carl Levin (R-MI)
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Chris Matthews
Jonathan Capehart
******************************************
Gregory: good morning - wow we were all
talking about gay marriage and now
have to talk about a big Wall Street fuck up!
Gregory: good morning Jamie
Dimon: Hi Fluffy
Gregory: you said that crazy London
trader was a tempest in a teapot and
then he lost $2 billion
Dimon: that’s true but in my defense
I’m an idiot
Gregory: how did you all miss
this massive risk?
Dimon: we’re arrogant dipshits
Gregory: how many laws did you break?
Dimon: at best were sloppy and stupid
Gregory: was it criminal?
Dimon: I am guilty - guilty of being adorable!
Gregory: what went wrong?
Dimon: in hindsight betting $2 billion
on the Knicks sweeping the Heat was a mistake
Gregory: you ably led your company through
the New Depression - how could you be so stupid?
Dimon: we’re all just horrible people
Gregory: you’re such a genius - how
much money will the morons lose?
Dimon: we want to the government to
destroy bad banks bury the carcass
and salt the earth
Gregory: should banks gamble
with customer money?
Dimon: probably not but it’s just too tempting
Gregory: you have fought regulation tooth and nail
Dimon: not true! I love Dodd-Frank!
Gregory: I didn’t know that
Dimon: the riskiest bet is American homebuyers -
I hate those American-dream seeking bastards
Gregory: is Wall Street just too risky?
Dimon: Calm down Fluffy we only lost $2 billion
Gregory: isn’t that a lot?
Dimon: please I have that much
in my couch cushions
[ break ]
[ pre-screw up interview ]
Gregory: Jamie are you just too awesome?
Dimon: probably
Gregory: what about Occupy Wall Street?
Dimon: we’re all to blame for the
recession and the total moral and
ethical collapse of Wall Street
Gregory: that seems right
Dimon: heck I would be willing to
pay more income taxes if I paid
less capital gains taxes
Gregory: so generous
Dimon: but all this finger-pointing
is pointless
Gregory: what about accountability
for destroying the economy?
Dimon: not all people on Wall Street are bad
Gregory: like that homeless guy
I walk by sometimes
Dimon: not all politicians are bad
just like not all media are bad - I like you Fluffy!
Gregory: thanks Jamie
Gregory: are we better off than
we were four years ago?
Dimon: well I’m even more obscenely rich
Gregory: I think I love you
Dimon: too much regulation is
preventing another bubble!
Gregory: you're not a Democrat anymore
Dimon: they attack the work ethic of
Wall Street which creates all things
Gregory: Why doesn’t Obama meet
with our Capitalist Industrial Overlords
Dimon: he hates us just because we
are mostly Republicans
Gregory: we need Simpson-Bowles
Dimon: it’s so awesome because
it cuts Social Security!
Gregory: nice
Dimon: when we eliminate Medicaid
the Confidence Fairies will plotz!
[ break ]
Gregory: what about JP Morgan
losing $2 billion?
Levin: Wall Street is still making heedless
bets to get rich - how shocking
Gregory: should Jamie Dimon still
sit on the Fed board?
Levin: well idiots need representation too
Gregory: what price should be paid?
Levin: we’re going to shove the
Volcker Rule down their throats!
Gregory: DC regulators have got momentum!
Levin: damm right!
Gregory: Andy what he hell happened?
Sorkin: If a god-like man like Jamie Dimon
can screw up this badly there is
no hope for rest of us
Gregory: I know my world is shattered
Sorkin: this was the casino culture
that caused the crisis in the first place
Gregory: JP Morgan is still making
a lot of money
Sorkin: they gambled with $100 billion
they didn’t have!
Gregory: would the Volcker Rule have helped?
Levin: we can’t have taxpayers bailing
out these gamblers every time they fuck up!
Gregory: yes but Jamie Dimon is a
handsome man who didn’t want
the bailout money
Levin: oh fuck that twerp
Sorkin: we will never know if the laws
work until a huge bank collapses and
that’s fucking frightening
Gregory: will gay marriage be a
defining issue of the election?
Preibus: no it’s going to be about
blaming Obama for the 2007 depression
Gregory: some Republicans don’t
despise gay people
Preibus: I hate those people
Gregory: so you aren’t worried
about losing votes?
Preibus: no because most people
are straight and a lot of people are assholes
Gregory: Rand Paul said Obama
couldn’t get any gayer
Preibus: Mitt Romney believes that
gay people should be treated with
respect and also total disdain
Gregory: is gay marriage a civil rights issue?
Preibus: no it’s defining marriage as a
great institution not allowed
to people I don’t like
Gregory: you could say that about Jim Crow laws
Preibus: that’s a bad analogy because
gay people were never killed
Gregory: do gays deserve equal rights?
Preibus: oh sure I just don’t want
them married - they should shack up
Gregory: you said you can’t federalize
marriage but Romney wants to
amend the Constitution to ban marriage
Preibus: I agree with him
Gregory: that makes no sense at all
Preibus: Obama caused recession!
Gregory: what?
Preibus: gas prices are high!
Gregory: you are becoming incoherent
Preibus: what doesn’t that black
President just shut up?!
Gregory: JP Morgan lost $2 billion -
do we need more banking regulation?
Preibus: Dodd-Frank made things worse!
Gregory: what the hell are you talking about?
Preibus: Obama has made the
Bush financial crisis worse!
Gregory: Betsy get the hook
Preibus: [ being dragged away ]
the President is a ni [CLANG ]!!!!
Gregory: bye Reince
[ break ]
Gregory: Biden jumped the gay gun!
Matthews: I love that impulsive gaffe machine!
Newsom: anyway he did the right thing
Cardenes: Obama has always been
in favor of gay marriage
Gregory: but Obama won’t force
it on states
Capehart: states have always regulated
marriage so Obama is not punting Fluffy
Parker: Obama was evolving and so
the American people are too
Cardenes: maybe so but gays are icky
Matthews: if you are gay it’s very inspirational
for the President to support your rights
Gregory: you really liked it Chris
Matthews: it sent a thrill running up my leg
Newsom: Obama’s coming out was
quite impressive
Gregory: but Obama will be a failure
until he sends the national guard to North Carolina
Newsom: the army is gay now anyway
Gregory: is gay marriage good politics or bad?
Cardenes: you will have a massive
revival of social conservatives!
Gregory: what about Romney’s
history of bullying in high school?
Matthews: he’s a vicious creep
Parker: no he *was* a vicious creep -
now he is a heartless sociopath
Newsom: 70% of Americans opposed
interracial marriage in 1967
Capehart: Obama sided with loving families
when it was neither easy nor convenient
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
******************************************
Jamie Dimon - CEO JP Morgan Chase
Reince Preibus - Chair, Republican
National Committee
Rep. Carl Levin (R-MI)
Andrew Ross Sorkin
Chris Matthews
Jonathan Capehart
******************************************
Gregory: good morning - wow we were all
talking about gay marriage and now
have to talk about a big Wall Street fuck up!
Gregory: good morning Jamie
Dimon: Hi Fluffy
Gregory: you said that crazy London
trader was a tempest in a teapot and
then he lost $2 billion
Dimon: that’s true but in my defense
I’m an idiot
Gregory: how did you all miss
this massive risk?
Dimon: we’re arrogant dipshits
Gregory: how many laws did you break?
Dimon: at best were sloppy and stupid
Gregory: was it criminal?
Dimon: I am guilty - guilty of being adorable!
Gregory: what went wrong?
Dimon: in hindsight betting $2 billion
on the Knicks sweeping the Heat was a mistake
Gregory: you ably led your company through
the New Depression - how could you be so stupid?
Dimon: we’re all just horrible people
Gregory: you’re such a genius - how
much money will the morons lose?
Dimon: we want to the government to
destroy bad banks bury the carcass
and salt the earth
Gregory: should banks gamble
with customer money?
Dimon: probably not but it’s just too tempting
Gregory: you have fought regulation tooth and nail
Dimon: not true! I love Dodd-Frank!
Gregory: I didn’t know that
Dimon: the riskiest bet is American homebuyers -
I hate those American-dream seeking bastards
Gregory: is Wall Street just too risky?
Dimon: Calm down Fluffy we only lost $2 billion
Gregory: isn’t that a lot?
Dimon: please I have that much
in my couch cushions
[ break ]
[ pre-screw up interview ]
Gregory: Jamie are you just too awesome?
Dimon: probably
Gregory: what about Occupy Wall Street?
Dimon: we’re all to blame for the
recession and the total moral and
ethical collapse of Wall Street
Gregory: that seems right
Dimon: heck I would be willing to
pay more income taxes if I paid
less capital gains taxes
Gregory: so generous
Dimon: but all this finger-pointing
is pointless
Gregory: what about accountability
for destroying the economy?
Dimon: not all people on Wall Street are bad
Gregory: like that homeless guy
I walk by sometimes
Dimon: not all politicians are bad
just like not all media are bad - I like you Fluffy!
Gregory: thanks Jamie
Gregory: are we better off than
we were four years ago?
Dimon: well I’m even more obscenely rich
Gregory: I think I love you
Dimon: too much regulation is
preventing another bubble!
Gregory: you're not a Democrat anymore
Dimon: they attack the work ethic of
Wall Street which creates all things
Gregory: Why doesn’t Obama meet
with our Capitalist Industrial Overlords
Dimon: he hates us just because we
are mostly Republicans
Gregory: we need Simpson-Bowles
Dimon: it’s so awesome because
it cuts Social Security!
Gregory: nice
Dimon: when we eliminate Medicaid
the Confidence Fairies will plotz!
[ break ]
Gregory: what about JP Morgan
losing $2 billion?
Levin: Wall Street is still making heedless
bets to get rich - how shocking
Gregory: should Jamie Dimon still
sit on the Fed board?
Levin: well idiots need representation too
Gregory: what price should be paid?
Levin: we’re going to shove the
Volcker Rule down their throats!
Gregory: DC regulators have got momentum!
Levin: damm right!
Gregory: Andy what he hell happened?
Sorkin: If a god-like man like Jamie Dimon
can screw up this badly there is
no hope for rest of us
Gregory: I know my world is shattered
Sorkin: this was the casino culture
that caused the crisis in the first place
Gregory: JP Morgan is still making
a lot of money
Sorkin: they gambled with $100 billion
they didn’t have!
Gregory: would the Volcker Rule have helped?
Levin: we can’t have taxpayers bailing
out these gamblers every time they fuck up!
Gregory: yes but Jamie Dimon is a
handsome man who didn’t want
the bailout money
Levin: oh fuck that twerp
Sorkin: we will never know if the laws
work until a huge bank collapses and
that’s fucking frightening
Gregory: will gay marriage be a
defining issue of the election?
Preibus: no it’s going to be about
blaming Obama for the 2007 depression
Gregory: some Republicans don’t
despise gay people
Preibus: I hate those people
Gregory: so you aren’t worried
about losing votes?
Preibus: no because most people
are straight and a lot of people are assholes
Gregory: Rand Paul said Obama
couldn’t get any gayer
Preibus: Mitt Romney believes that
gay people should be treated with
respect and also total disdain
Gregory: is gay marriage a civil rights issue?
Preibus: no it’s defining marriage as a
great institution not allowed
to people I don’t like
Gregory: you could say that about Jim Crow laws
Preibus: that’s a bad analogy because
gay people were never killed
Gregory: do gays deserve equal rights?
Preibus: oh sure I just don’t want
them married - they should shack up
Gregory: you said you can’t federalize
marriage but Romney wants to
amend the Constitution to ban marriage
Preibus: I agree with him
Gregory: that makes no sense at all
Preibus: Obama caused recession!
Gregory: what?
Preibus: gas prices are high!
Gregory: you are becoming incoherent
Preibus: what doesn’t that black
President just shut up?!
Gregory: JP Morgan lost $2 billion -
do we need more banking regulation?
Preibus: Dodd-Frank made things worse!
Gregory: what the hell are you talking about?
Preibus: Obama has made the
Bush financial crisis worse!
Gregory: Betsy get the hook
Preibus: [ being dragged away ]
the President is a ni [CLANG ]!!!!
Gregory: bye Reince
[ break ]
Gregory: Biden jumped the gay gun!
Matthews: I love that impulsive gaffe machine!
Newsom: anyway he did the right thing
Cardenes: Obama has always been
in favor of gay marriage
Gregory: but Obama won’t force
it on states
Capehart: states have always regulated
marriage so Obama is not punting Fluffy
Parker: Obama was evolving and so
the American people are too
Cardenes: maybe so but gays are icky
Matthews: if you are gay it’s very inspirational
for the President to support your rights
Gregory: you really liked it Chris
Matthews: it sent a thrill running up my leg
Newsom: Obama’s coming out was
quite impressive
Gregory: but Obama will be a failure
until he sends the national guard to North Carolina
Newsom: the army is gay now anyway
Gregory: is gay marriage good politics or bad?
Cardenes: you will have a massive
revival of social conservatives!
Gregory: what about Romney’s
history of bullying in high school?
Matthews: he’s a vicious creep
Parker: no he *was* a vicious creep -
now he is a heartless sociopath
Newsom: 70% of Americans opposed
interracial marriage in 1967
Capehart: Obama sided with loving families
when it was neither easy nor convenient
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
******************************************
This Week - May 13, 2012
Guests:
Barney Frank (D-MA)
Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Eliot Spitzer
Hilary Rosen
Mary Matalin
**************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Obama became
the first President to endorse same-sex
marriage since James Buchanan
Romney: what’s the deal with those
long-haired gays anyway?
Stephanopoulos: congrats on your
upcoming nuptials Barney
Frank: thanks George
Stephanopoulos: did you expect
Obama to endorse gay weddings
Frank: that’s redundant
Stephanopoulos: true
Frank: of course I expected him to
since there is no sensible reason
to oppose it
Stephanopoulos: that never stooped
American Presidents before
Frank: Obama already opposed the
DOMA and endorsed gay soldiers
Blackburn: Obama is such a
gay-loving bumbler LOL!
Santorum: Obama is totally out of touch
with America’s homophobes
Blackburn: Let’s talk about how Obama
caused the Depression in 2007!
Stephanopoulos: you don’t want to talk
about gay rights do you?
Blackburn: gays is icky!
Stephanopoulos: Obama doesn’t
want to nationalize gay rights
Frank: the GOP wants to take away
marriage decisions from the states
Stephanopoulos: what about Constitutional
bans on inter-racial marriage?
Frank: did you know the Republicans
caused the Depression and job losses
peaked when Obama was sworn in and
have gone down ever since?
Blackburn: Obama hates women!
Stephanopoulos: I didn’t know that
Blackburn: gas prices!
Stephanopoulos: gas prices are going down
Blackburn: my four year-old grandson
owes $50,000 to the Chinese!
Stephanopoulos: cut up his credit cards
Stephanopoulos: Jamie Dimon said he
was stupid but Dodd-Frank is really
at fault for not stopping him
Frank: what a fucking moron
Stephanopoulos: hee hee
Frank: we’re trying to write rules to
prevent these disasters and guess
who is trying to stop us - the
Republicans in the House
Stephanopoulos: I’m shocked
Frank: I don’t care if banks fail I just don’t
want them to put the taxpayer on the hook
Blackburn: Obama is at fault for writing
so many regulations JP Morgan had
no choice but lose $2 billion gambling
Frank: lord almighty I’m surrounded by idiots
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: politicians don’t want
to talk about gay marriage
Matalin: voters don’t care about gay rights
they care about the debt!
Rosen: gay voters actually do care
about their civil rights
Reed: Obama caused the Depression
and now all he cares about
those handomse gay gays
Stephanopoulos: alrighty
Reed: Obama is going to lose Ohio because
he endorsed those irresistible gays
Spitzer: Obama can fix the economy and
endorse equal rights at the same time
Matalin: Biden outed Obama and the
President carries a purse ha ha
Stephanopoulos: you really are repulsive Mary
Rosen: Romney has devolved!
Reed: marriage has been between women
and attractive well-built men for 5,000 years
Stephanopoulos: good point Ralph
Reed: Obama has flip-flopped!
Matalin: Obama is bigoted against people
who hate gay people!
Rosen: gay people just want to join
the army and get married
Matalin: those perverts are destroying America!
Spitzer: Obama has failed to protect gays
working with federal contractors
Reed: discrimination against gays is
an awesome wedge issue!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming weirdos
************************************************
Barney Frank (D-MA)
Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Eliot Spitzer
Hilary Rosen
Mary Matalin
**************************
Stephanopoulos: wow Obama became
the first President to endorse same-sex
marriage since James Buchanan
Romney: what’s the deal with those
long-haired gays anyway?
Stephanopoulos: congrats on your
upcoming nuptials Barney
Frank: thanks George
Stephanopoulos: did you expect
Obama to endorse gay weddings
Frank: that’s redundant
Stephanopoulos: true
Frank: of course I expected him to
since there is no sensible reason
to oppose it
Stephanopoulos: that never stooped
American Presidents before
Frank: Obama already opposed the
DOMA and endorsed gay soldiers
Blackburn: Obama is such a
gay-loving bumbler LOL!
Santorum: Obama is totally out of touch
with America’s homophobes
Blackburn: Let’s talk about how Obama
caused the Depression in 2007!
Stephanopoulos: you don’t want to talk
about gay rights do you?
Blackburn: gays is icky!
Stephanopoulos: Obama doesn’t
want to nationalize gay rights
Frank: the GOP wants to take away
marriage decisions from the states
Stephanopoulos: what about Constitutional
bans on inter-racial marriage?
Frank: did you know the Republicans
caused the Depression and job losses
peaked when Obama was sworn in and
have gone down ever since?
Blackburn: Obama hates women!
Stephanopoulos: I didn’t know that
Blackburn: gas prices!
Stephanopoulos: gas prices are going down
Blackburn: my four year-old grandson
owes $50,000 to the Chinese!
Stephanopoulos: cut up his credit cards
Stephanopoulos: Jamie Dimon said he
was stupid but Dodd-Frank is really
at fault for not stopping him
Frank: what a fucking moron
Stephanopoulos: hee hee
Frank: we’re trying to write rules to
prevent these disasters and guess
who is trying to stop us - the
Republicans in the House
Stephanopoulos: I’m shocked
Frank: I don’t care if banks fail I just don’t
want them to put the taxpayer on the hook
Blackburn: Obama is at fault for writing
so many regulations JP Morgan had
no choice but lose $2 billion gambling
Frank: lord almighty I’m surrounded by idiots
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: politicians don’t want
to talk about gay marriage
Matalin: voters don’t care about gay rights
they care about the debt!
Rosen: gay voters actually do care
about their civil rights
Reed: Obama caused the Depression
and now all he cares about
those handomse gay gays
Stephanopoulos: alrighty
Reed: Obama is going to lose Ohio because
he endorsed those irresistible gays
Spitzer: Obama can fix the economy and
endorse equal rights at the same time
Matalin: Biden outed Obama and the
President carries a purse ha ha
Stephanopoulos: you really are repulsive Mary
Rosen: Romney has devolved!
Reed: marriage has been between women
and attractive well-built men for 5,000 years
Stephanopoulos: good point Ralph
Reed: Obama has flip-flopped!
Matalin: Obama is bigoted against people
who hate gay people!
Rosen: gay people just want to join
the army and get married
Matalin: those perverts are destroying America!
Spitzer: Obama has failed to protect gays
working with federal contractors
Reed: discrimination against gays is
an awesome wedge issue!
Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming weirdos
************************************************
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Meet The Press - May 6, 2012
Guests:
Vice President Joe Biden
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH)
Tom Brokaw
Diane Swonk (Mesirow Financial)
Chuck Todd
Robert DeNiro
****************************************
Gregory: sluggish job numbers are bad
but the good news for Obama is he’s
running against Mitt Romney
Gregory: Joe is this a jobless recovery?
Biden: no we’re creating hundreds of
thousands of jobs per month
Gregory: but it’s so slow
Biden: we were losing millions of jobs
when we were sworn in - since then
we’ve slowly added hundreds of thousands
Gregory: Romney says you’re only
lowering unemployment because
people stopped looking for jobs
Biden: here’s the deal Fluffy -
Romney is Bush on steroids
Gregory: yikes
Biden: he wants to give the rich a
$2 trillion tax cut - will that create jobs?
Gregory: let’s try it and see
Biden: they will cut Medicare, Medicaid,
student loans, food stamps
and cut taxes for the super rich
Gregory: that’s all well and good but
the economic recovery is still slow
and Romney is a business guy
Biden: he never created jobs in Massachusetts
Gregory: it’s a communist enclave
Biden: this is the worst economy since
the Depression and the Republicans
wouldn’t pass our jobs bill!
Gregory: but would that really create
Jobs more than cutting my taxes?
Biden: yes it would man!
Gregory: what about that blind Chinese dissident?
Biden: we have the papers filed for
him to appear on Dancing with the Stars
Gregory: that could be awesome
Biden: damn right man
Gregory: what went wrong in China?
Biden: we handled it right so of course
people complain about it
Gregory: you don’t care about freedom
- just about asking the Chinese to please
keep funding our dept
Biden: no true - I showed the Chinese
my American DNA which is chock
full of Freedom Chromosomes®
Gregory: who will be Obama’s Vice President?
Biden: I’m pretty sure I will be
Gregory: ha ha not Hilary Clinton?
Biden: look man Obama is fucking amazing
Gregory: who will win the election in 2012?
Biden: these idiots think the
Soviet Union still exists man!
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Biden: who do you love?
Gregory: General Electric
Biden: that’s awesome for you man
Gregory: are you ok with gay marriage
Biden: sure men with men or if you want
to be loyal to a corporation that’s cool
Gregory: what about Obama
Biden: Will and Grace educated
the American public
Gregory: it did?
Biden: sure we learned that a
single woman’s best friend should
be an uptight gay man
Gregory: what have you learned about the gays?
Biden: gay people make awesome parents
Gregory: Osama bin Laden wanted to
kill Obama and put you in power
because you are a “gaffe driven infidel”
Biden: he’s been wrong about a
lot of things including whether we
would hunt him down and kill him
Gregory: Is Obama spiking the football?
Biden: he did what he said he would do
- he went to the Gates of Hell!
Gregory: he appeared on Fox News?
Biden: Romney said he wouldn’t
move heaven and earth to get bin Laden
Gregory: you questioned Romney
but you yourself opposed the
raid to get bin Laden
Biden: damn right - but Obama
made the right decision
Gregory: is Romney weak?
Biden: I don’t know but I know this much -
Barack Obama is a stone cold
motherfucking ninja assasin
Gregory: is there a right-wing
conspiracy against Obama?
Biden: the Tea Party has taken
over the GOP - and they’re idiots!
Gregory: will you raise taxes
on rich people like me?
Biden: yes because we are fighting
for the middle class
Gregory: you’re just saying
that because it’s popular
Biden: the GOP argues that giving rich
people all the money will help everyone else
Gregory: that sounds like a good plan
Biden: it’s crap Fluffy!
Biden: what about Mitch McConnell?
Biden: the Tea Party wouldn’t let
him extend the payroll tax cut!
Gregory: John Boehner is a nice guy though
Biden: the tea party tail wags that
orange Republican dog!
Gregory: can Obama unite America?
Biden: he rescued the auto industry
and it made people say -
hey maybe this guy is ok
Gregory: who would you like debate
as Vice President?
Biden: not Chris Christie - he scares
the piss out of me
Gregory: who will run in 2016 - you or Hillary Clinton
Biden: maybe I can be her Vice President
- I’m tanned rested and ready!
Gregory: thanks for coming Joe
Gregory: Kelly give me the Romney perspective
Ayotte: Obama is terribly divisive
Gregory: really?
Ayotte: also he’s a total failure
Gregory: I see
Ayotte: I love the drone strikes but
he should have bombed Iran
Gregory: Joe Biden says there is no stagnation
Swonk: the depression was much worse
than we thought - oh and Europe
could drag us into another recession
Gregory: thanks for that pick-me-up sunshine
Brokaw: the American people are not
convinced we are really recovering -
they have a lingering virus of economic doldrums
Todd: Romney can’t go to Ohio and
bash the economy because Jon Kasich
will be mad
Gregory: should we go back to Bush’s policies?
Ayotte: Obama has failed and he’s dumb too
Gregory: how so?
Ayotte: he wants to ban teenagers from working
and also he hasn’t paid off the national debt
Brokaw: I talked to the American Middle
the other day and they hate Washington
Gregory: bold words warbler
Swonk: political gridlock hurts the
economy - but it’s not all bad because
the Dow is soaring
Brokaw: Simpson-Bowles! Warble-warble!
Simpson-Bowles!
Ayotte: we must pay down the debt!
Todd: Paul Ryan killed Alan Simpson!
Ayotte: Obama should have stopped
him from murdering that poor old man
Gregory: who will Mittens will
name as Vice President
Ayotte: me!
Gregory: no seriously
Ayotte: some one from a swing state
Gregory: are you ready to be President?
Ayotte: I’m more experienced than Barack Obama!
Gregory: how about Newt Gingrich?
Brokaw: that you would even ask that
question reminds me - the American
people told me they hate you
Gregory: oh noes
Brokaw: not you specifically - they hate the
glittering White House Correspondents Dinner
with it’s Cristal champagne and
diamond-encrusted truffles
Gregory: both those gold-leaf komodo dragon
canapés are so tasty
Brokaw: they also think you interview
too many celebrities
Gregory: here I am yelling with Robert DeNiro
Brokaw: [ facepalm ]
Gregory: hey that ugly Freedom Tower
is now taller than the Empire State Building
DeNiro: are you talkin’ to me?
It look like you’re talkin’ to me
Gregory: yes I am
DeNiro: ok
Gregory: do you like Obama?
DeNiro: he got bin Laden!
Gregory: how about the economy
of lower Manhattan
Swonk: it’s rocking!
Gregory: sweet
Swonk: I never give up on the American
people particularly Wall Street which
has a way of bouncing back
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
********************************************
This Week - May 6, 2012
Guests:
David Axelrod
Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
George Will
Tavis Smiley
Greta Van Susteren
Bay Buchanan
***********************************
Tapper: OMG Obama is still running
on hope and change
Audience: ooh
Tapper: Axel the economy kind of sucks
Axelrod: yeah but when we got into office
we were losing millions of jobs and now
we’re slowing adding thousands of jobs
Tapper: not bad but not great
Axelrod: we can’t go back or it will
be another disaster
Tapper: Obama asks will you be better off
four years from now
Axelrod: right - if we elect Romney will have
the same policies that destroyed the economy
in the first place
Tapper: no one is turning out for your rallies
Axelrod: we had 14,000 people yesterday!
Tapper: yes but that stadium is
very big ergo Obama sucks
Axelrod: that was 11,000 more than
Mitt Romney ever got
Tapper: yes but with Mittens its
quality not quantity
Axelrod: how do you mean?
Tapper: Mitt went had a rally at the mansion
of the CEO of Papa Johns - the dozen people
there have more money than at
14,000 students at Ohio State
Tapper: when will Obama start touting his
record instead of just talking about
killing bin Laden and saving General Motors
Axelrod: that is his record Tappy!
Tapper: is Obama spitting on troops
by killing bin Laden?
Axelrod: Obama made a gutsy call - and
if it failed you can bet Mitt Romney would
be all it like white rice on brown rice
Tapper: Mitt Romney says it’s shameful to
bring a Chinese dissident to America in a
responsible way instead of spitting in their face
Axelrod: sounds like he’ll make a great President
Tapper: Senator isn’t Mitt Romney
increasingly sounding like an idiot
McCain: yes he is but China is still
communist which is Obama’s fault
Tapper: in 2008 you said Romney was naïve
for saying it wasn’t worth it going after
one guy who attacked America on 9/11
McCain: Obama killed Neda!
Tapper: jesus
McCain: Iraq is unraveling!
Tapper: uh-oh
McCain: the Russians are supplying
guns to Syria - we must take sides!
Tapper: calm down John you’re getting all puffy
McCain: women are being raped while
Obama goes to the Holocaust Museum!
I’m not making this up!
Tapper: I’ve heard some rebels in
Syria are allied to al-qeada
McCain: so what?
Tapper: well you know al-qeada
is pretty bad
McCain: yes but helping al-qaeda would
hurt America’s greatest enemy which is Iran
Tapper: are you saying we should
form an alliance with al-qaeda?!?
McCain: If it hurts Iran yes!
Tapper: who should Mitt should pick
as his Vice President?
McCain: someone who is most ready
to become President immediately - like I did
Tapper: [ snort ]
McCain: I was told there would be pudding!
Tapper: thanks for coming gramps
[ break ]
Tapper: did Obama got to far in
pointing out he got bin Laden
Will: Obama keeps talking about himself
and people are so turned off he
can’t fill an 18,000 seat stadium
Buchanan: sure he deserves credit but
he never credits the Navy Seals
Tapper: that’s not true at all
Buchanan: maybe not but
it sounds good
Smiley: I hate the President because
he shouldn’t kill terrorists
Tapper: go on Tavis
Smiley: it’s unpresidential to wage war
Tapper: which country are you talking about
Goolsbee: Romney said he wouldn’t
take bin Laden out if he was in he
Pakistan so of course it’s a legitimate issue
Van Susteren: people are being killed
in Sudan and Syria and Mexico!
Tapper: oh my god send in the Marines!
Will: the Chinese eat at McDonald’s
and Starbucks but they are still evil
Tapper: our larded fries and $30 lattes
will destroy the oriental enemy!
********************************
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