Sunday, May 06, 2012
Meet The Press - May 6, 2012
Vice President Joe Biden
Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH)
Diane Swonk (Mesirow Financial)
Gregory: sluggish job numbers are bad
but the good news for Obama is he’s
running against Mitt Romney
Gregory: Joe is this a jobless recovery?
Biden: no we’re creating hundreds of
thousands of jobs per month
Gregory: but it’s so slow
Biden: we were losing millions of jobs
when we were sworn in - since then
we’ve slowly added hundreds of thousands
Gregory: Romney says you’re only
lowering unemployment because
people stopped looking for jobs
Biden: here’s the deal Fluffy -
Romney is Bush on steroids
Biden: he wants to give the rich a
$2 trillion tax cut - will that create jobs?
Gregory: let’s try it and see
Biden: they will cut Medicare, Medicaid,
student loans, food stamps
and cut taxes for the super rich
Gregory: that’s all well and good but
the economic recovery is still slow
and Romney is a business guy
Biden: he never created jobs in Massachusetts
Gregory: it’s a communist enclave
Biden: this is the worst economy since
the Depression and the Republicans
wouldn’t pass our jobs bill!
Gregory: but would that really create
Jobs more than cutting my taxes?
Biden: yes it would man!
Gregory: what about that blind Chinese dissident?
Biden: we have the papers filed for
him to appear on Dancing with the Stars
Gregory: that could be awesome
Biden: damn right man
Gregory: what went wrong in China?
Biden: we handled it right so of course
people complain about it
Gregory: you don’t care about freedom
- just about asking the Chinese to please
keep funding our dept
Biden: no true - I showed the Chinese
my American DNA which is chock
full of Freedom Chromosomes®
Gregory: who will be Obama’s Vice President?
Biden: I’m pretty sure I will be
Gregory: ha ha not Hilary Clinton?
Biden: look man Obama is fucking amazing
Gregory: who will win the election in 2012?
Biden: these idiots think the
Soviet Union still exists man!
Gregory: what about gay marriage?
Biden: who do you love?
Gregory: General Electric
Biden: that’s awesome for you man
Gregory: are you ok with gay marriage
Biden: sure men with men or if you want
to be loyal to a corporation that’s cool
Gregory: what about Obama
Biden: Will and Grace educated
the American public
Gregory: it did?
Biden: sure we learned that a
single woman’s best friend should
be an uptight gay man
Gregory: what have you learned about the gays?
Biden: gay people make awesome parents
Gregory: Osama bin Laden wanted to
kill Obama and put you in power
because you are a “gaffe driven infidel”
Biden: he’s been wrong about a
lot of things including whether we
would hunt him down and kill him
Gregory: Is Obama spiking the football?
Biden: he did what he said he would do
- he went to the Gates of Hell!
Gregory: he appeared on Fox News?
Biden: Romney said he wouldn’t
move heaven and earth to get bin Laden
Gregory: you questioned Romney
but you yourself opposed the
raid to get bin Laden
Biden: damn right - but Obama
made the right decision
Gregory: is Romney weak?
Biden: I don’t know but I know this much -
Barack Obama is a stone cold
motherfucking ninja assasin
Gregory: is there a right-wing
conspiracy against Obama?
Biden: the Tea Party has taken
over the GOP - and they’re idiots!
Gregory: will you raise taxes
on rich people like me?
Biden: yes because we are fighting
for the middle class
Gregory: you’re just saying
that because it’s popular
Biden: the GOP argues that giving rich
people all the money will help everyone else
Gregory: that sounds like a good plan
Biden: it’s crap Fluffy!
Biden: what about Mitch McConnell?
Biden: the Tea Party wouldn’t let
him extend the payroll tax cut!
Gregory: John Boehner is a nice guy though
Biden: the tea party tail wags that
orange Republican dog!
Gregory: can Obama unite America?
Biden: he rescued the auto industry
and it made people say -
hey maybe this guy is ok
Gregory: who would you like debate
as Vice President?
Biden: not Chris Christie - he scares
the piss out of me
Gregory: who will run in 2016 - you or Hillary Clinton
Biden: maybe I can be her Vice President
- I’m tanned rested and ready!
Gregory: thanks for coming Joe
Gregory: Kelly give me the Romney perspective
Ayotte: Obama is terribly divisive
Ayotte: also he’s a total failure
Gregory: I see
Ayotte: I love the drone strikes but
he should have bombed Iran
Gregory: Joe Biden says there is no stagnation
Swonk: the depression was much worse
than we thought - oh and Europe
could drag us into another recession
Gregory: thanks for that pick-me-up sunshine
Brokaw: the American people are not
convinced we are really recovering -
they have a lingering virus of economic doldrums
Todd: Romney can’t go to Ohio and
bash the economy because Jon Kasich
will be mad
Gregory: should we go back to Bush’s policies?
Ayotte: Obama has failed and he’s dumb too
Gregory: how so?
Ayotte: he wants to ban teenagers from working
and also he hasn’t paid off the national debt
Brokaw: I talked to the American Middle
the other day and they hate Washington
Gregory: bold words warbler
Swonk: political gridlock hurts the
economy - but it’s not all bad because
the Dow is soaring
Brokaw: Simpson-Bowles! Warble-warble!
Ayotte: we must pay down the debt!
Todd: Paul Ryan killed Alan Simpson!
Ayotte: Obama should have stopped
him from murdering that poor old man
Gregory: who will Mittens will
name as Vice President
Gregory: no seriously
Ayotte: some one from a swing state
Gregory: are you ready to be President?
Ayotte: I’m more experienced than Barack Obama!
Gregory: how about Newt Gingrich?
Brokaw: that you would even ask that
question reminds me - the American
people told me they hate you
Gregory: oh noes
Brokaw: not you specifically - they hate the
glittering White House Correspondents Dinner
with it’s Cristal champagne and
Gregory: both those gold-leaf komodo dragon
canapés are so tasty
Brokaw: they also think you interview
too many celebrities
Gregory: here I am yelling with Robert DeNiro
Brokaw: [ facepalm ]
Gregory: hey that ugly Freedom Tower
is now taller than the Empire State Building
DeNiro: are you talkin’ to me?
It look like you’re talkin’ to me
Gregory: yes I am
Gregory: do you like Obama?
DeNiro: he got bin Laden!
Gregory: how about the economy
of lower Manhattan
Swonk: it’s rocking!
Swonk: I never give up on the American
people particularly Wall Street which
has a way of bouncing back
Gregory: and that’s another
episode of Meet The Press
Posted by - at 12:50 PM