Sunday, March 10, 2013

Meet The Press - March 10, 2012

Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA)
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK)
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI)
Rep. Cory Gardner (R-CO)
Joe Scarborough
Dee Dee Myers
Ruth Marcus
Fmr. Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Fmr. Gov. Jeb Bush (R-FL)

Gregory: OMG Obama has finally realized
he has to be nice Republicans if he's
going cut entitlements!

Audience: oooh

Gregory: we could have a budget
deal by July! I'm squeeing!

Coburn: it shouldn't be news that Obama
is finally being nice to Republicans

Gregory: can you all make a deal?

Coburn: Obama must finally tell the
American people that Medicare
must be cut – I'm thrilled

Gregory: nice

Coburn: Obama has to stop poking
his finger in our eyes and adopt GOP policies

Kaine: good things are happening –
Democrats agreed to write a budget and
Republicans agreed not to purposefully
wreck the U.S. economy

Gregory: sweet

Kaine: we're rocking and rolling

Gregory: why is Obama reaching out
to Republicans now?

Scarborough: because he's been in 
Washington long enough to learn this 
whole city is a bunch of juvenile crybabies

Gregory: of course

Scarborough: also I am an awesome 
man of great accomplishments

Gregory: great

Scarborough: on the day the House 
impeached Bill Clinton he was on the 
phone with Newt Gingrich talking about 
bombing another country

Gregory: that is all kinds of awesome

Gabbard: we need to talk to each other

Gregory: would you accept any higher taxes?

Gardner: no

Gregory: ok

Gardner: we got tax hikes and now it's time
to cut spending finally now that we have
a Democrat in the White House

Coburn: I've spent 8 years reading the federal
budget and I've noticed that we waste a lot
of money since a Democrat became President

Gregory: excellent

Coburn: Washington politicians agree
on too much – spending money in bad ways

Scarborough: Republicans also spent too much
this has to stop now since a Democrat got elected!

Gregory: of course

Scarborough: we have to cut Medicare
now that a Democrat is President!

Gabbard: the American people are
frustrated that Medicare is wasteful

Gregory: Republicans say no more taxes

Gabbard: what about closing tax loopholes
the GOP says they dislike

Kaine: we give away over a trillion
dollars a year in taxes

Scarborough: Republicans can't
close tax loopholes - Obama has to give
Republicans cover by cutting Medicare
then maybe they can agree

Gardner: I hope Obama is not a liar –
but remember Obama lectured us
and chastised us – he's so mean

Kaine: oh stop whining and suck it up

Gardner: but Obama said Paul Ryan's
budget was a bumch of lies

Gregory: there was a once a beating on
the House floor and now it's considered
a big deal that Rand Paul does a 13-hour filibuster

Coburn: I just remembered the tyranny of
majority is bad since Democrats got the
White House and a majority in the Senate

Gregory: fascinating

Coburn: I thought Rand Paul's extended
rant while wrong was awesome

Gregory: now that Obama is President shouldn't
Congress have the guts to restrain the President?

Gardner: yes it's about time to limit the
power of the President since Obama took office!

Gabbard: yes I agree

Scarborough: I have been very concerned
about the power of the President to wage
attacks since Bush left and Obama was sworn in

Gregory: indeed

Scarborough: the White House dragged their
feet on the President's power to violate the
civil rights of an American citizen on American
soil and no I have never heard of Bush doing
the same thing to Jose Padilla in 2002

Gregory: Shouldn't Barack Obama be
just like Ronald Reagan?

Kaine: absolutely – my constituents tell
me make a deal – it doesn't matter 
what kind - just make a deal

Gregory: Obama demonized Republicans
isn't he terrible?

Coburn: yet and he's reaching out now but
it's going to take a long time for all the
hurt feelings from mean Barack Obama to heal

[ break ]

Gregory: should we hate Sheryl Sandburg
because she's succcessful?

Marcus: people love a good catfight – 
also she's rich and good looking –
no wonder people hate her

Gregory: why do women resent her?

Blackburn: women have to be twice as
good as men and she's three times better

Gregory: you all should aim higher

Blackburn: we all have to be the trailblazer

Gregory: let me explain what Sheryl
means to all of you

Sandburg: women need to be more amibtious

Gregory: what she's really saying ignore
men and lean in

Myers: thank you for explaining
that to us Fluffy

Gregory: you're welcome

Myers: women too often hold back in
running for office or trying to get promoted

Blackburn: women wait to be invited
and men push their way through

Marcus: women are afraid of looking rude
and men are unafriad to look stupid
or like assholes

Gregory: that's true – Steve what do you think

Schmidt: um...

Gregory: you tried to turn Sarah Palin
into a real candidate – how did that go?

Schmidt: Todd Palin was a great partner –
unfortunately he was also a moron

Gregory: but a great guy

Schmidt: any organization should give 
opportunity to women or it will fail – 
the GOP needs to work on this

Blackburn: you need to have a supportive family too
kids need to get in line!

Myers: successful women are going to be disliked

Marcus: go for it anyway

Blackburn: some men are not comfortable
with women leaders

Gregory: what should I tell my daughters –
be a CEO or be a good wife and have kids?

Schmidt: my wife should be admired for
leaving her career and raising our kids

Marcus: women still worry about balancing
work and family and men don't

Gregory: true enough

Marcus: also when try jobs you're not
qualified for like Sarah Palin you set
the whole feminist movement back

Schmidt: yeah sorry about that ladies

[ break ]

Gregory: Jeb you don't want to give
undocument immigrants a path to citizenship

Bush: we should give them worse benefits
than people who are waiting patiently

Gregory: ok

Bush: I wrote this book to make people
who hate immigrants happy

Gregory: Romney said Obama won by
handing out gooodies to poor people –
would more immigration just create
more Democratic voters?

Bush: no because Asian-Americans are
not poor and they voted for Obama 70-24

Gregory: ouch

Bush: we just need to convince people the
Republican stands for more than failed
wars and wrecked economies

Gregory: should a person who hired an
undocumented immigrant be disqualified?

Bush: nah hell we've all done it

Gregory: won't you be a great disappointment
to your mother if you don't get elected
President of the United States of America

Bush: yes – Kennebunkport is like the
downeast House of Atreus

Gregory: what do people think of
your brother's Presidency?

Bush: my father was more than the
Jimmy Carter of the GOP!

Gregory: I asked you about your brother

Bush: I think history will be very
kind to George W. Bush

Gregory: [ SPIT TAKE ]

Gregory: who is more likely to be President
you or Marco Rubio?

Bush: oh my god you Beltway journalists
are like heroin addicts

Schmidt: Jeb is well-situtationed for the
White House – he's a deep thinker and
everyone flip-flops

Gregory: Rand Paul is creating a youthful
movement of crazy people

Marcus: I loved his nutty useless filibuster

Gregory: oh so did I

Marcus: the whole GOP is cracking up –
neocon vultures, pro-war psychos, small
government anti-Obamas, pro-life vaginal probers...

Schmidt: Rand Paul asked a very important
question about whether Obama will
start murdering white people

Gregory: what about Ashley Judd?

Blackburn: I like her a lot

Gregory: would you support her?

Blackburn: I might – I once crossed
Naomi Judd and she slashed the
tires on my house

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press


Anonymous said...

"Coburn: I've spent 8 years reading the federal budget and I've noticed that we waste a lot of money since a Democrat became President"

It's so hard to pick a favorite in your transcriptions. Let me just say they are invaluable aids to sanity in an insane world.

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