Sunday, January 01, 2012

Meet The Press - January 1, 2012

Former Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA)
Matt Strawn - Iowa GOP Chair
Kathie Obradovich - Des Moines Register
Andrea Mitchell
Chuck Todd
Mike Murphy
David Brooks
Mark Halperin
Gregory: wow it’s a frothy field and
Santorum is rising!

Todd: Romney has the support of people who
basically have given up on life

Gregory: but will those people bother to vote?

Todd: no but Ron Paul supporters will get
up at 4:30 a.m. assuming they’re not high

Strawn: we can’t afford another four years
of slow but steady economic growth
under Barack Obama

Todd: At first people don’t like Santorum but
once they experience it they like it

Gregory: Interesting

Todd: Unlike Santorum Romney is very slippery

Gregory: Santorum’s support is more sticky

Strawn: 100,000 Iowans will pick the
next President

Gregory: that’s amazing

Strawn: unless it snows then South Carolina
gets to choose the Commander in Chief

Todd: Romney would win easily if he
never said anything

Gregory: Iowa is tiny and full of white farmers

Strawn: we are first in the nation -
it’s all we’ve got!

Todd: will Perry supporters learn to
love Santorum?

Gregory: I’ve noticed you get used to
Santorum after a while

[ break ]

Gregory: Rick Santorum you have a hot hand

Santorum: people keeps asking me
‘Santorum when are you going to surge’?

Gregory: what do you say?

Santorum: I say hold on tight I’m coming

Gregory: no other Senators endorsed you

Santorum: Santorum is not that popular
in the U.S. Senate

Gregory: ok

Santorum: I’m looking to bring Santorum to Washington

Gregory: you have experience with pork

Santorum: I alone kept Washington from exploding

Gregory: you endorsed Romney in 2008

Santorum: I respected John McCain immensely
and hate Romney therefore I endorsed
Romney just to stop McCain

Gregory: Is Romney a conservative?

Santorum: what day is it?

Gregory: ha ha

Santorum: you can’t have a strong economy
unless you repress gay people

Gregory: you are soft on fetuses

Santorum: I support abortion exceptions
but I’m not in favor of them

Gregory: you funded Amtrak

Santorum: Sadly I was forced to compromise
with Ted Kennedy on socialist railroads

Gregory: you say Obama would be dangerous
for America but Republicans are also
very unpopular

Santorum: Obama keeps dividing America
between black and white

Gregory: that sounds just like him

Santorum: Obama has refused to meet with
John Boehner for last six months

Gregory: that can’t possibly be right

Santorum: well Obama is giving speeches
attacking Republicans and that is just wrong

Gregory: Republicans are not to blame
for gidlock?

Santorum: the problem is government oppression

Gregory: ah

Santorum: Republicans discovered in 2009
that government spending is bad

Gregory: you say Obama’s foreign policy
is appeasement to evil people

Santorum: Obama wants muslim thugs
to steal elections because he is from Chicago

Gregory: of course

Santorum: Obama is bad because he didn’t
support the democracy movement in Iran and
wouldn’t support the dictator of Egypt

Gregory: that makes no sense

Santorum: It does because I don’t care about
democracy - I just hate Islam

Gregory: got it

Santorum: Bush tried to support democracy in
Iran and Obama won’t help at all!

Gregory: what would you do in Iran?

Santorum: covert action baby

Gregory: Obama is doing that

Santorum: there is no evidence that Obama
is engaging in covert actions

Gregory: do you know what the word covert means?

Santorum: we must launch air strikes against Iran!

Gregory: will you win in Iowa?

Santorum: you’re going to see a big jump
in Santorum!

[ break ]

Gregory: who is going to win Iowa?

Obradovich: Santorum is surging

Murphy: Santorum is coming out fast

Halperin: Romney has only to fear Perry
and Gingrich

Mitchell: the evangelicals may not vote
for Ricky if supports abortion when a
woman’s life in danger

Brooks: Santorum clearly explains how
gay people cause unemployment

Murphy: the churches will dump Perry
because he’s a dumbass

Obradovich: voters who are born-again but
like marijuana will support Ron Paul

Brooks: average people think America is
declining but their only answer is a
time-traveling DeLorean

Mitchell: Ron Paul would win but he’s not
war-like enough

Murphy: new people never vote in Iowa

Obradovich: Independents love to caucus
and like Ron Paul

Gregory: can I talk?

Murphy: ok ok

Gregory: Mitt Romney wants to be the
white Barack Obama

Halperin: Mitt has run the best campaign but
the White House machine is even better

Brooks: Romney is too bland to win

Gregory: America is in decline! [ sobs ]

Mitchell: Obama has not found his voice

Murphy: how you win the GOP primary but still
take the general election?

Brooks: Rick Santorum is against poverty

Gregory: then he’s doomed

Obradovich: don’t ignore Iowa!

Halperin: Santorum will squashed like a bug

Gregory: Romney’s SuperPACs are vicious

Mitchell: they crush and they kill

Murphy: Rick will fail because he is
a non-entity

Brooks: hell that dweeb couldn’t win
in Pennsylvania

Gregory: January is going to be fucking exciting!

Halperin: Mitt is going to wrap this up by
January 31

Gregory: so who wins Iowa?

Obradovich: I predict a surprise!

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet The Press

1 comment:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Santorum: I say hold on tight I’m coming