Sunday, October 11, 2009

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - October 11, 2009

Sen. Feinstein
Sen. Chambliss
Rep. McGovern
Ret. Gen. Keane
Stephanopoulos: Diane what’s going on
in Afghanistan?

Feinstein: Violence is up 100% and the Taliban controls half the country

Stephanopoulos: sounds terrific

Feinstein: the whole mission is in jeopardy

Stephanopoulos: I’ll take "Hopeless Quagmires"
for $1,000, Alex

Feinstein: we should stop killing civilians from above

Stephanopoulos: that’s just crazy enough to work

Chambliss: the government is hopelessly corrupt and no one wants us there - so we should greatly increase our military presence

Keane: eventually the Afghan military should
take over

Stephanopoulos: good idea - when can we do that?

Keane: 2013

Stephanopoulos: why so long?

Keane: we’re pregnant with a colony and we have
to give birth or have an abortion

McGovern: I’m told there are only 100 members
of al qaeda in Afghanistan - for this we need 100,000 new troops??

Feinstein: that depends on what the meaning of
al qaeda is

Stephanopoulos: so why stay?

Feinstein: women are begging in the streets and being beaten and we need to stabilize this country

Stephanopoulos: we’ll get to domestic policy
in a minute

Feinstein: we must respect McChrystal - after all he came from a Crackerjack box

Chambliss: If Afghanistan falls then Pakistan will
be invaded or encroached upon bad guys

Stephanopoulos: you read a lot of comic
books do you?

Chambliss: Afghanistan will attack Pakistan!

Stephanopoulos: What will General Obama do if President McChrystal opposes him?

Keane: I don’t know but it’s a moral dilemma

Stephanopoulos: He should resign - after all the President is a young black man with no medals

McGovern: jeebus we’ve been there for 8 years and we’re propping up a corrupt unelected government

Stephanopoulos: is that right Saxby?

Chambliss: Oh absolutely - which is why we have to stay - otherwise Osama bin Laden will get access to Pakistan’s nuclear weapons

Stephanopoulos: truly it is amazing Bush didn’t
win the Nobel peace prize

Chambliss: the literacy rate there is only 20% and that doesn’t work

Stephanopoulos: we’ll discuss your home state later Senator

Feinstein: we should totally get the rest of the
world to pay for the Afghan war

Stephanopoulos: good luck with that

Keane: there’s an elephant in the room in Pakistan

Stephanopoulos: that the Pakistan government has been supporting the Taliban all this time?

Keane: no it’s an actual elephant - it sits there during Cabinet meetings

Stephanopoulos: what should Obama consider when making his Afghan decision?

Chambliss: the stability of our troops and giving them what they need to stay in a far-off land in Asia

McGovern: we need to be smarter and not just maintain a useless and expensive world-wide empire

Keane: Obama has a chance to fix Bush’s fuck ups and be decisive and think about later

Feinstein: we should leave as soon as we stay and create a functioning democracy and also they must have a Disneyland

Stephanopoulos: so we have to leave a government as functional as the state of California?

Feinstein: no that would be a war crime

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming


Larkspur said...

Chambliss: the literacy rate there is only 20% and that doesn’t work

Stephanopoulos: we’ll discuss your home state later Senator

You are a treasure. Good work.

coupons said...

More troops or defeat....