October 4, 2009
Susan Rice - US Ambassdor to the U.N.
Gregory: OMG Iran is going build a nuclear
bomb and kill us all!!!
[ hides under his desk ]
Rice: um, david?
Gregory: [ peers out from under desk ]
Rice: don’t panic dave - we’re going to force them
to prove they are enriching uranium for the fun of it
Gregory: [ still under desk ]
but I’m so scared
Rice: we’re going to take care of it dave
Gregory: what’s your deadline?
[ smacks head on desk ] ow!
Rice: no I’m just fucking with you
Gregory: but Charles Krauthammer says you sold out Poland while Iran is going to acquire the bomb!
Rice: I heard you were a moron - but I didn’t
know you were such a hack
Gregory: but they’re so swarthy!
Rice: criminy we build a huge coalition and all you can do is bitch and whine
Gregory: will you cripple Iran?
Rice: yes if we have to
Gregory: when?? I can’t wait!!!
Rice: calm down Fluffy
Gregory: can we please make Iran another
Gregory: but the hostage crisis!
Rice: you’re weird
Gregory: 8 soldiers were killed in Afghanistan today
Rice: it’s not all tea and crumpets
Gregory: why doesn’t Obama just listen to Generals with all their pretty medals
Rice: Look Bush fucked up for 7 years and we’re trying to fix it
Gregory: that may be but why can’t he Grant
The Wishes of His Commanders like that Genie in Alladdin?
Rice: Obama is the damm President and he looks
at the whole global Effort and he won’t just do whatever one general somewhere wants - otherwise McChrystal would be the President
Gregory: well he is a handsome white man
Rice: um yeah
Gregory: will we stay in Afghanistan forever and ever
Rice: maybe forever
Gregory: but not ever!
Rice: hey we have to battle crazy people in southeastern Asia, Africa, the Middle East
Gregory: by failing to occupy Afghanistan permanently you’re surrendering to the
Rice: stop crying
Gregory: did Obama make a mistake trying to get
Rice: Obama will never apologize for America even
if it means being bashed by stupid pundits
Gregory: the U.N. is just a parade of brown people criticizing America and that gives me a sad
Rice: what a big baby you are
[ break ]
Gregory: Will Obama fulfill his pledge to stay in Afghanistan forever and ever and ever and ever
Brooks: I’m scared that Obama may not permanently occupy that remote mountainous desert nation
Maddow: they don’t want to lose Afghanistan which a good liberal war but not get trapped in a quagmire which is a bad liberal war
Murphy: Obama should never have invaded Afghanistan
Dionne: you are very silly person
Brooks: it would be a moral tragedy if we were to
let the Taliban take over their own country
Maddow: that’s stupid
Murphy: we need to put in 100,000 more troops to save the Afghanistan from itself
Dionne: yeah you and Brooks such a military experts
Gregory: OMG SNL had biting satire in a skit that said Obama hasn’t accomplished anything!!!
Maddow: you got to be fucking kidding me
Gregory: but The Left hates Obama’s failure to fix Bush’s mistakes!!
Maddow: I am critical of Obama too but that’s ridiculous
Gregory: oh no the Obama unemployment!
Brooks: Obama promised we would be at 7% unemployment by now
Maddow: that’s a lie
Brooks: we overspent for 30 years - this proves
we need to elect more Republicans
Murphy: around the kitchen table people complain about the Obama stimulus package
Dionne: that’s total bullshit
Gregory: Obama bailed out the banks!
Dionne: no that’s another lie
Brooks: In addition to being a noted liar and military expert I also haz a smart on economically money things
Murphy: Obama should have worked with Republicans and admitted he is an Indonesian
Witch Doctor from Britain
Maddow: ha ha ha
Gregory: Obama totally failed to get
Maddow: It was disgusting to see the right wingers cheering for America to fail
Murphy: oh now you’re suggesting the wingnuts lack patriotism
Maddow: no - I’m coming right out and saying it
Dionne: they put Obama-hatred before love
Gregory: [ clutches pearls ]
but a Democrat said the GOP was for a Holocaust!
Maddow: that’s normal for the Republicans
Gregory: [ lies down on fainting couch ]
it’s so shrill
[ swoons ]
Brooks: but Limbaugh and Beck don’t even control GOP primary voters - they are loud but weak
Murphy: MSNBC is one-party liberal network
Maddow: Joe Scarborough is on 3 hours a day
Murphy: um um um
Gregory: why is all this shrillness on tv??
Dionne: because idiots like you love to talk about it
Brooks: the crazy people like Palin get all the attention but there is no evidence that she is
really that popular
Murphy: Sarah Palin is an idiot, true, but the lunatics in the GOP don’t really have all that power that they appear to have
Maddow: ok fine guys but she is the most famous Republican and she was the Vice Presidential nominee and she’s linked to a white supremacist
Murphy: oh that’s just guilt by association
Maddow: well she has an association with a white supremacist!
Gregory: speaking of promoting civility in political debate, I loved my lying smearing Nixon acolyte good friend William Safire - what a cuddly curmudgeon he was