Thursday, October 09, 2008

Meet The Press - October 5, 2008

Meet The Press
October 5, 2008
Host: Tom Brokaw
Chuck Todd
Paul Begala
Mike Murphy
Peggy Noonan

Brokaw: wow we're actually going to have an election in a few weeks!

Todd: Obama is totally kicking ass

Brokaw: so who wins

Todd: McCain can still win but he has to run the table and he's barely winning in places like Florida

Brokaw: warble

Todd: Florida - it's all about the economy - there’s a big real estate bust and the Castro brothers can't sell their convertible sofas

Brokaw: how in the hell is the black man winning in Virginia?

Todd: Obama has registered millions of new voters so you ain't seen nothin yet

Brokaw: can McCain please win NH or Iowa??

Todd: no they are moving to Obama

Brokaw: oh noes!!

Todd: PA is a big state and Kerry won it so Obama has to win it an he's not won yet

Brokaw: yay!!

Todd: but he's got at NM and FL and Iowa so i'm afraid your buddy is trouble

Brokaw: Chuck go away you make me warble more than usual

[ break ]

Brokaw: Mike what's going on with our buddy?

Murphy: they are in big big trouble

Brokaw: Begala - the hard core messiah types think Obama is going to win

Paul: don't underestimate them they are flooding the zone with young kool aid drinkers and fanboys

Brokaw: let's hope they attack Obama's lack of character and lack of leadership and his association with Willard Scott

Paul: who?

Brokaw: the Weatherman

Brokaw: let's play a 10 minute tape accusing Obama of being a terrorist

Paul: thank you for playing that tape and repeating that accusation

Brokaw: he's an uppity kid who needs to be taken down a peg

Begala: John McCain might be an anti-semite - did you know that?

Murphy: i'm very concered that Williams Ayres shouldn't be elected President and Obama participated in bombings when he was 8 years old

Brokaw: will Obama condemn Lew Ayres and Wings?

Murphy: McCain has no shot unless he runs as the dood to prevent a runaway liberal Congress

Brokaw: the economy?

Begala: fuck rapid response - how about rapid attack?

Brokaw: Obama has put McCain on the defensive with the economy

Begala: McCain wisely attacked Bush in 2001 and embraced him 2008

Palin: there ya go agin joe

Biden: he's not a maverick - he doesn't even have a kitchen table

Brokaw: she was so awesome

Murphy: they are Titan Class gaffe machines so it was fun to watch advisors offstage with whiskey and gunpowder

Brokaw: she's a formidable opponent

Begala: Nixon said Agnew rescued his campaign - but Biden bashed McCain while Palin merely defended herself

Murphy: he demagogued McCain's health care plan

Begla: [ mimicks violin playing ]

i'm playing the world's smallest violin for the GOP

Brokaw: you love Sarah Palin

Noonan: i speak for the american people when i say she did convince the people that she is not retarded and is good on tv

Tom: what else

Noonan: she left open the question of her sanity

Tom: what else

Noonan: she might be a fascist - all this regular-guy stuff if scary and weird

Tom: are you new to the Republican party???

Brokaw: when Ronald Reagan opened his campaign in Philadelphia, Miss that was not populism??

Noonan: oh no it has a very nice hotel and convention center

Yepsen: who gives a shit she's evidently a high functioning moron

Tom: but how can we elect McCain??

Yepsen: people now realize that the GOP is evil - McCain can still win - if he switches parties

Brokaw: um Gwen Palin ignored you wtf??

Ifill: ok ok in my defense i expected Joe Biden to ask her follow up questions my only job was to watch the train wreck unfold

Brokaw: oh ok

Ifill: the american people wanted me to follow up on her so i decided to let her fly

Gregory: she appealed to women with her dazzling folksiness and Biden smiled too much

Tom: who won?

Gregory: she did - she's charming

Brokaw: who is winning the lunch bucket racists?

Todd: Palin had them but the thrill has worn off and people are back to being winked at while being unemployed

Brokaw: but the gays are getting married!

Todd: no one gives a shit Tom

Brokaw: the Weekly Standard says Obama has no character or courage and consorts with dubious black people

Todd: uh huh

Brokaw: let's talk about Obama's running mate for a change William Ayres

Noonan: it's troubling how mean the Left is - it's so sad and mean

Yepsen: who gives a shit

Noonan: not just that it's demoralizing

Yepsen: Opening in Philadelphia, Miss was uplifting right

Noonan: oh yes

Brokaw: Speaking of the Weather Underground

Gregory: Obama has no character

Ifill: both sides are guilty - but even i was smeared this week

Tom: well you are black Gwen you probably are suspect - after all you're writing a Black Book

Ifill: hey right wingers lied and smeared me

Noonan: why is left so mean?

Ifill: both sides are guilty of smearing me

Todd: this is dumbest move ever

Todd: Tom they are manipulating you are you don't even know it

Yepsen: maybe we'll hear about Charles Keating

Noonan: oh no!!

Brokaw: now hold on - McCain apologized for that!!

Ifill: i loved it when Palin pushed back on that

Noonan: so so so so sad that we live in an age of photo-ops and straegists -- it ain't right

Brokaw: oh my god you're a bigger phony and hypocrite than I am

Noonan: yeah i win!

Tom: part of his charm is that McCain is an asshole

Noonan: god bless him

Tom: he’s loveable dick

Noonan: he's containing his anger

Ifill: not very well

Todd: the american people are tired of pundits with maps of red and blue on tv and so am I

Brokaw: Will you allow me to read from your book Peggers

Noonan: people are too preoccupied over who killed who let's forget about all that and reelect Republicans

Brokjaw: ah ha

Noonan: we live in a age of Crazy People who can Destroy America

Brokaw: but you voted for Bush

Noonan: we don't need patriotism to use a weapon in a campaign and be adults and show maturity

Ifill: there you have it - Peggy has condemned the Republican party

Brokaw: i agree with Peggy - the American people are to blame and we have to cut Medicare