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MEET THE PRESS
Guest: Chair of the Democratic Party, Howard Dean
April 27, 2008
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Russert: Howie you are the most important person in the world
Dean: no hillary clinton is
Russert: why
Dean: because she will have to convince her supporters to vote for Obama
Russert: ed rendell says the primaries are teh suck
Dean: yeah well I don’t put much stock in what Ed says
Russert: but the popular vote!
Dean: sorry those are the rules fat man
Russert: you say this is all about gestalt
Dean: also sturm und drang plus rugtosslegende
Russert: who wins the nomination?
Dean: the dood with the most delegates
Russert: so the superdelegates could overrule real delegates
Dean: no the superdelgates use their great wisdom
Russert: like that wise 21 year old kid
Dean: hey - that proves that it's not just cigar-smoking old men
Russert: do elected delegates represent the people?
Dean: yes but the superdelegates are also elected
Russert: all of them?
Dean: yes - except the ones who were not
Russert: how should the superdelegates vote?
Dean: i think the superdelegates should vote their conscience or for the most handsome or tallest or with the best bowling score
Russert: it sounds like a stupid system
Dean: sure it is but we are stuck with it now
Russert: it sounds weird that they could overrule the elected delegates
Dean: it is what it is
Russert: popular vote vs. delegates!
Dean: again!? look lets talk about the Iraq war or keating 5 or the fact that John McCain is a senile version of George Bush
Russert: but you yourself said Dems must be united so i would like to spend this hour dividing the party
Dean: ok fathead
Russert: The Black Vote is teh Scary!!!
Russert: What will Black America do????
Dean: how should i know i'm from Vermont the last black left years ago
Russert: take a guess
Dean: look we dems are good at getting women and blacks and minorities to vote for them and unfortunately now we have one of each so they are fighting
Russert: blacks bellied up to the bar!!!
Dean: i would like to have a beer with a black person
Russert: will Scary Blacks wreck the party?!!?!
Dean: no because Obama will be nominee
Russert: what does america want
Dean: blacks need change and women need change
Russert: tell me about it - I can't get anyone to take a $100 bill
Russert: Florida and Michigan!
Dean: i respect the voters who voted and the candidates who didn't campaign there and other states who did get to be first for aribtrary reasons
Russert: so what's the best outcome?
Dean: let Florida secede from teh union and merge with Cuba - they want to anyway
Russert: but the swing states!
Dean: fuck em
Russert: Gov. Blanchy wants to hijack your convention
Dean: quel asshole
Russert: people say you screwed this up
Dean: look we set up a system and the states should follow it
Russert: ok i respect that but why not seat them anyway
Dean: Tim what if you were in a long line in Disneyworld and someone jumped ahead of everyone else??
Russert: I do that all the time - I’m Timmy Russert dammit!
Russert: you lied about McCain wanting to stay for 100 years he only wants to do that if no one if ever going to be killed
Dean: well that's stupid if we are there for 100 years it will never be peaceful like Korea or Germany
Russert: but what if it was happy and peaceful??
Dean: does anyone watching tv now think that?
Russert: john mccain?
Dean: moron
Russert: do you think George Bush wants to capture Osama bin laden?
Dean: of course he doesn't - he hasn't even tried and said he doesn't think about it
Russert: well sure if you go by what he had said and done
Dean: uh huh
Russert: McCain is winning in the polls
Dean: someday Tim i will explain to you the difference between 'winning' in a poll and 'winning' an election
Russert: i look forward to it Doctor
Broder: this black man and woman scare me
Russert: will this end in June
Broder: no because August is later than June
Tim: right
Slate: call William Peter Blatty because Hillary is baaaaaaaack!!!!
Tim: Slate guy who wins this
Dickerson: Obama or else we will have a revolution
Mitchell: she will plough ahead - also people just realized that he is Kenyan black man and he is a also high-born elitist
Tim: so Hillary will be the nominee?
Andrea: no Hillary is dead
Tim: this is all about Argula and Beer
Gwen: 4,000 americans died to make sure we would never a smart person as president
Tim: amen!
Russert: what do voters want to hear?
Gwen: sadly the candidates have gotten bogged down in trivial issues
Russert: i'm shaking my head how could that happen so very sad
Wolff: who the fuck are these Reagan democrats and isn't he fucking dead??
Broder: dammit the Dems talked about trivial issues in the last debate - so sad
Mitchell: hillary is not shrill anymore it's amazing
Russert: so what's her problem
Andrea: Bill Clinton he had no understanding of modern politics
Russert: so how does he win?
Gwen: ignore her - right now he can't lose the primaries
Dickerson: he needs to be seen with regular people
Tim: what's a regular person?
Dickerson: white people
Tim: whiter than you?
Dickerson: Edgar Winter
Russert: the Dems are so nasty so sad
Dickerson: McCain killed a man last week and no one noticed
Timmy: yeah but i think he was a mexican who parked in his Congressional parking spot
Dickerson: ayup
Timmy: Hillary has ads with Osama bin laden
Mitchell: Obama should never given a major address naming his Rev Right as his running mate and calling white people bitter
Tim: indeed - let's talk about Rev. Right for the 10th straight week
Timmy: Obama is the politician oh noes
Gwen: Wright is not a crazy man but he is still black and that is his great failure
Tim: how so
Gwen: it gives Timmy Russert another excuse to run Wright clips
Tim: i'm brave i talk about race
Gwen: you never talk about racism
Tim: i don't do ancient history
Wolff: i hear Obama may be black
Tim: oh noes!!
Tim: let's talk about the weatherman and Tom Hayden
Andrea: yes lets
Tim: hillary is a communist
Andrea: tim don't be silly she is a marxist lesbian
Tim: are we going to talk about the 1960s or the War
Broder: the War like did Obama dodge the draft in 1969
Tim: he was 10 years old
Broder: that's no excuse
Mitchell: Obama made a mistake in choosing to run as a black man
Wolff: Dean campaigned for Kerry and his supporters hated John Kerry
Russert: that isn't true
Wolff: it sounds good though
Russert: next week: The Presidential Election of 2012 - Are The Democrats Doomed?
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