McLaughlin: issue one, Abu!
Pat: they didn't abort anything which would be a crime
Eleanor: Fielding knew what he was doing as you and Pat know well from Waterg-
John: careful...
McLaughlin: Showdown?
Blankley: Executive Privilege is like a slip 'n slide it was fun in the summer of 1974
John: i like your suit
Blankman: yeah it's sherwin-williams
John Mc: conditions laughable yes or no aroma of executive privilege
O'Donnell: Dems are salivating at the idea of questioning him Rove is a guy who lies all the time
Pat: Journalists are hypocrites they want their privilege when Repubs confess to crimes
Eleanor: um, let's not forget this is about lying, corruption, obstruction of justice....
Pat: i say this is a show trial, in other words i got nothing
O'Donnell: Rove is a liar
Blankley: boo-hoo so unfair he just has a bad memory for the bad things he's done
McLaughlin: Did you ever see SchoolHouse Rock, it said "No More Kings" in other words Bush is a dictator once war starts
Eleanor: they sent troops with no body armor
Blankley: The model is George Washington no micromanging is allowed even though the Constitution didn't even exist back then
Elinor: ok those are tired buzzwords can i just point out Bush is planning to invade Iran
O'Donnell: we don't have enough troops even if we wanted to
Elinor: don't be too sure they're pretty dumb
McLaughlin: Gore like a big hero this week are the deniers like those who ride dinosaurs to church
Larry: Clinton nailed Gore on carbon tax
Pat: It's hype it's not serious like ten new aircraft carriers
McLaughlin: Look at all these credentials Oscar, Nobel Prize Kelly Clarkson and Red Hot Chili Peppers hey they're hot
Blankley: no he's an impressario and by the way there is no such thing as global warming
Pat: he's like Leni Reifenstahl that's a compliment i love her movies
McLaughlin: The YouTube loophole is very scary
Pat: real issue is freelancers
Eleanor: let her rip
McLaughlin: The internet is has sleazy stuff, it's a toilet - kinda like my show but with dancing cats
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Not An Exact Transcript - Russert
Specter: we need to have an AG who is candid, truthful, and believes Oswald acted alone
Timmeh: ok, leaving the single bullet theory aside for a moment, what's the deal with Alberto
Durbin: 486 US As and 2 are fired and now suddenly 8 are gone because Karl Rove wanted a permanent majority
Timmeh: Abu yes or no
Durbin: no
Timmeh: Jeebus these were in the top Ten prosecutors that's what Casey Kasem said
Specter: someone's got some 'splaining to do
Timmeh: Does Abu has Integrity
Specter: i can't tell until i get a good look at the whites of his eyeballs
Timmeh: Rove under oath - do those words get you excited to go fishing
Durbin: sadly we may have to ask him a lot of questions i wouldn't rule out waterboarding but don't worry there won't be any organ failure
Timmeh: Avoid a show trial
Durbin: heh give me a break it won't be a show unless he really sings
Specter: look i think i'm still in charge isn't that funny
Timmeh: yeah you lost
Specter: do you like my coat it used to be a sofa
Timmeh: its good i like the tie too is that the pepto bismol line
Specter: yeah it's time to end the stalemate and bickering and cave into the white house.
Bradley: boldness...ethics.. imagine there's no parties, it's easy if you try
Timmeh: ok i've heard that song before
Bradley: imagine all the people, voting DLC.....
Timmeh: you bash Dems which is good but arent't you soft on defense
Bradely: No i'm very hard
Tim: gas tax man no wonder you're out of politics
Bradely: we wouldn't use that dollar for spending
Timmeh: you're not saying Iraq was related to oil holy shit
Bradley: Dems should take back religion and morality
Bradely: I hate it when Dems say that people who succeed in America are the problem -- i have lots of examples hidden in my briefcase
Timmeh: you have no charisma - bitter much
Bradley: hey i resent that it's just Repubus never fall for charisma look at their great choices like Reagan and George W. Bush
Timmy: Dems who do you luv
Bradely: edwards has a health care plan but the real issue is that i like to pretend that i'm above petty issues like politics do you think david broder will like what i'm saying
Tim: obama yes or no
Bradley: well he stole my ideas and i resent it because he's got charisma and he's a rock star
Timm: so you're not impressed
Bradley: no, did you know i only got elected because i played basketball and i could easily take Obama
Timmeh: ok, leaving the single bullet theory aside for a moment, what's the deal with Alberto
Durbin: 486 US As and 2 are fired and now suddenly 8 are gone because Karl Rove wanted a permanent majority
Timmeh: Abu yes or no
Durbin: no
Timmeh: Jeebus these were in the top Ten prosecutors that's what Casey Kasem said
Specter: someone's got some 'splaining to do
Timmeh: Does Abu has Integrity
Specter: i can't tell until i get a good look at the whites of his eyeballs
Timmeh: Rove under oath - do those words get you excited to go fishing
Durbin: sadly we may have to ask him a lot of questions i wouldn't rule out waterboarding but don't worry there won't be any organ failure
Timmeh: Avoid a show trial
Durbin: heh give me a break it won't be a show unless he really sings
Specter: look i think i'm still in charge isn't that funny
Timmeh: yeah you lost
Specter: do you like my coat it used to be a sofa
Timmeh: its good i like the tie too is that the pepto bismol line
Specter: yeah it's time to end the stalemate and bickering and cave into the white house.
Bradley: boldness...ethics.. imagine there's no parties, it's easy if you try
Timmeh: ok i've heard that song before
Bradley: imagine all the people, voting DLC.....
Timmeh: you bash Dems which is good but arent't you soft on defense
Bradely: No i'm very hard
Tim: gas tax man no wonder you're out of politics
Bradely: we wouldn't use that dollar for spending
Timmeh: you're not saying Iraq was related to oil holy shit
Bradley: Dems should take back religion and morality
Bradely: I hate it when Dems say that people who succeed in America are the problem -- i have lots of examples hidden in my briefcase
Timmeh: you have no charisma - bitter much
Bradley: hey i resent that it's just Repubus never fall for charisma look at their great choices like Reagan and George W. Bush
Timmy: Dems who do you luv
Bradely: edwards has a health care plan but the real issue is that i like to pretend that i'm above petty issues like politics do you think david broder will like what i'm saying
Tim: obama yes or no
Bradley: well he stole my ideas and i resent it because he's got charisma and he's a rock star
Timm: so you're not impressed
Bradley: no, did you know i only got elected because i played basketball and i could easily take Obama
Not An Exact Transcript - This Week
Will: John Edwards, it's gallantry
Donaldson: there will be people who will say Edwards was wrong i luv to use the unnamed passive voice it makes me feel lordly
Cokie: jeebus christ it's nobody's business
Will: Lincoln lost a child
Donaldson: yes and *some people* not me of course would say that looks like carelessness
Steph: what about sympathy
Donaldson: look dammit the voters will hate him for this not me of course other people lesser Americans than me
McCain: The people voter in November for blind support for Bush
Cokie: holy cow he's nucking futs
Will: no this is very bad for the Democrats of course they are right but they are invested in failure when a good mutual fund is better
Sam: Arr! Grr!
Cokie: No this is very bad for Dems they're a bunch of antiwar losers who lost after 1974
Steph: except for 1976
Cokie: oh fuck you i repeating received wisdom as you well know
Steph: Democracy in DC yes or no
Cokie: it is weird that there is no democracy in the capitol of the USA but there are too many whites in the GOP
Sam: don't kid yourself they will never let DC residents vote
Will: I'm churlish i suppose but if we lets DC residents vote that means they can establish a religion which we know Republicans hate
Donaldson: there will be people who will say Edwards was wrong i luv to use the unnamed passive voice it makes me feel lordly
Cokie: jeebus christ it's nobody's business
Will: Lincoln lost a child
Donaldson: yes and *some people* not me of course would say that looks like carelessness
Steph: what about sympathy
Donaldson: look dammit the voters will hate him for this not me of course other people lesser Americans than me
McCain: The people voter in November for blind support for Bush
Cokie: holy cow he's nucking futs
Will: no this is very bad for the Democrats of course they are right but they are invested in failure when a good mutual fund is better
Sam: Arr! Grr!
Cokie: No this is very bad for Dems they're a bunch of antiwar losers who lost after 1974
Steph: except for 1976
Cokie: oh fuck you i repeating received wisdom as you well know
Steph: Democracy in DC yes or no
Cokie: it is weird that there is no democracy in the capitol of the USA but there are too many whites in the GOP
Sam: don't kid yourself they will never let DC residents vote
Will: I'm churlish i suppose but if we lets DC residents vote that means they can establish a religion which we know Republicans hate
Not An Exact Transcript - Chris Matthews
Tweety: cancer is the way we die in teh USA well maybe not tom delay that will be insecticide
Borger: he had me at incurable
White Afro: Hillary can't go after him now
Tweety: Bill and Hill hate Obama
Healy: They think teh media is down with Barack
Tweety: i luv to say Hillary is really angry
Borger: they're whiny
Noron: Page 294 of Audacity of Hope is a good read it's really audacious and bodacious
Healy: I asked Hillary about civil war and she said Gettysburg was teh bomb
Tweety: its ingenuity heh Hillary's a fascist
Norah: year it's about money
Tweety: it's an outrage that we're spreading democracy and still Hillary is allowed to run!
Panel: Gore will run he looked sporty wearing a checked shirt yeah still caring about his clothes
Tweety: Hillary is evil
Healy: i haven't measured his waistline i think Judith Miller is on top of that story
Casey Stengel: Clintons always stoop low
Tweety: he's gonna get beaten by teh Clintons again i luv to say that even though that never happened
Tweety: I luv Rin Tin Tin better a good german that a scary lassie
Tweety: Dems fear Rove
Borger: He's like Vader a Sith Lord
Noron: Ha ha ha ha
Casey: Perry Mason was fat tit for tat Dems are petty
Noron: Dems have to be careful god forbid someone expose Rove's evilness
WhiteAfro: They're mad cause Dick told them to fuck off well now it's payback time
Tweety: Dems puzzle me they're so weird with all this ethics and stuff
Norah: if not Abu then who?
Tweety: They will be sympathy if they trash him hispanics do they jobs white people won't do like subverting justice
Norah: Dems are bad
Stengel: Penatgon is wasting money to be spent saving lives
Healy: Gore and Tipper are having a lot of fun they don't want to run
Tweety: Hillary is Madame Defarge hey cool i got one more slur into the show
Borger: he had me at incurable
White Afro: Hillary can't go after him now
Tweety: Bill and Hill hate Obama
Healy: They think teh media is down with Barack
Tweety: i luv to say Hillary is really angry
Borger: they're whiny
Noron: Page 294 of Audacity of Hope is a good read it's really audacious and bodacious
Healy: I asked Hillary about civil war and she said Gettysburg was teh bomb
Tweety: its ingenuity heh Hillary's a fascist
Norah: year it's about money
Tweety: it's an outrage that we're spreading democracy and still Hillary is allowed to run!
Panel: Gore will run he looked sporty wearing a checked shirt yeah still caring about his clothes
Tweety: Hillary is evil
Healy: i haven't measured his waistline i think Judith Miller is on top of that story
Casey Stengel: Clintons always stoop low
Tweety: he's gonna get beaten by teh Clintons again i luv to say that even though that never happened
Tweety: I luv Rin Tin Tin better a good german that a scary lassie
Tweety: Dems fear Rove
Borger: He's like Vader a Sith Lord
Noron: Ha ha ha ha
Casey: Perry Mason was fat tit for tat Dems are petty
Noron: Dems have to be careful god forbid someone expose Rove's evilness
WhiteAfro: They're mad cause Dick told them to fuck off well now it's payback time
Tweety: Dems puzzle me they're so weird with all this ethics and stuff
Norah: if not Abu then who?
Tweety: They will be sympathy if they trash him hispanics do they jobs white people won't do like subverting justice
Norah: Dems are bad
Stengel: Penatgon is wasting money to be spent saving lives
Healy: Gore and Tipper are having a lot of fun they don't want to run
Tweety: Hillary is Madame Defarge hey cool i got one more slur into the show
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Meet The Press Not A Transcript
Slestak: i've landed on an aircraft carriers for real unlike some presidents i could mention
Delay: wow dood you were in the indian ocean did you run into chief crazy horse
Slestak: dood with all due respect which is to say zero Osama is not in Iraq
delay: look we have to listen to teh terrorists and do whatever they say terrorist are like car keys we have to look for them where the light is better
Slestak: dood your on drugs
Delay: were at war with indonesia europe and everyone lets not surrender
Slestak: yea but-
Delay: look dood this is meet the press only wingnuts get to talk so here i go
Perle: kill! kill! kill! kill!
Slestak: oh my god your are fucking crazy
Perle: dood your not even giving failure a chance its only been four years
Andrews: hey dood i'd rather take military advice from the Admiral that fucking draft dodging coward like Tom Delay
Delay: the iraqis are like pets we have to take care of them we can never leave until the entire middle east is stable
Russert: whew and here I was worried
Sestak: this is about america not so you can feel like a big man
Delay: surrender surrender wow i so brave
Perle: This is all about the people of iraq heh heh i so full of shit
Andrews: yeah what a great idea young Americans dying for some fucking civil war
Perle: 'redeploy' is a just another word for surrender and you know it
Sestak: oh you just got personal which for someone like you is not a good idea
Russert you're all total fuckups what's up with that
Delay: i'm frustated we haven't killed enough people it's true
Paul Harvey: don't drag me into this slimeball
Delay: i recall when i played poker with Saddam every week before the war he told me with enough chlorine "i will rule the world" i said Saddam calm down and pass the cheese dip
Timmy: what would happen if we left immediately or within a year you know much too soon
Andrews: gee i don't know maybe kids would stop dying
Perle: in my defense i never thought there would be a five year occupation so I was wrong so that means I was right
Timmy: okay i follow
Perle: Gore was with me ok i'm lying but it's all I got
Timmy: so anything but lies?
Perle: Saddam was going to give a nuke to terrorists no really that's all i got
Delay: after a war starts we should never have people protesting my god they even considered impeaching teh president the nerve
Sestak: after the show i'd like step outside and aid and abet a can of whoop-ass on this guy
Delay: wow dood you were in the indian ocean did you run into chief crazy horse
Slestak: dood with all due respect which is to say zero Osama is not in Iraq
delay: look we have to listen to teh terrorists and do whatever they say terrorist are like car keys we have to look for them where the light is better
Slestak: dood your on drugs
Delay: were at war with indonesia europe and everyone lets not surrender
Slestak: yea but-
Delay: look dood this is meet the press only wingnuts get to talk so here i go
Perle: kill! kill! kill! kill!
Slestak: oh my god your are fucking crazy
Perle: dood your not even giving failure a chance its only been four years
Andrews: hey dood i'd rather take military advice from the Admiral that fucking draft dodging coward like Tom Delay
Delay: the iraqis are like pets we have to take care of them we can never leave until the entire middle east is stable
Russert: whew and here I was worried
Sestak: this is about america not so you can feel like a big man
Delay: surrender surrender wow i so brave
Perle: This is all about the people of iraq heh heh i so full of shit
Andrews: yeah what a great idea young Americans dying for some fucking civil war
Perle: 'redeploy' is a just another word for surrender and you know it
Sestak: oh you just got personal which for someone like you is not a good idea
Russert you're all total fuckups what's up with that
Delay: i'm frustated we haven't killed enough people it's true
Paul Harvey: don't drag me into this slimeball
Delay: i recall when i played poker with Saddam every week before the war he told me with enough chlorine "i will rule the world" i said Saddam calm down and pass the cheese dip
Timmy: what would happen if we left immediately or within a year you know much too soon
Andrews: gee i don't know maybe kids would stop dying
Perle: in my defense i never thought there would be a five year occupation so I was wrong so that means I was right
Timmy: okay i follow
Perle: Gore was with me ok i'm lying but it's all I got
Timmy: so anything but lies?
Perle: Saddam was going to give a nuke to terrorists no really that's all i got
Delay: after a war starts we should never have people protesting my god they even considered impeaching teh president the nerve
Sestak: after the show i'd like step outside and aid and abet a can of whoop-ass on this guy
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Mr. Shipman: call me nuts but a pro-abortion cross dressing immoral freak might not be the best choice for the GOP
Mrs. Shipman: Bush is really really popular look at his success in Vietnam
George Will: i miss reagan if this was your party you'd cry too
Brazille: Fred Thomson will dive into pool cannonball!
Shipman: well he look the part which i s the most important thing
Brzille: Gore is coming back george Will shut your skinny white mouth
Mrs. Shipman: Bush is really really popular look at his success in Vietnam
George Will: i miss reagan if this was your party you'd cry too
Brazille: Fred Thomson will dive into pool cannonball!
Shipman: well he look the part which i s the most important thing
Brzille: Gore is coming back george Will shut your skinny white mouth
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Steph: Pace big closet case?
Shipman: good news for Republicans this is all bad for Hillary
Steph: gays immoral yes or no
Brazille: criminy these campaigns are so driven by cautious campaign managers unlike the brave brave sir robin dukakis
George Will: when i was at boarding school this all de rigor we all experimented with using our left hands
Shipman: good news for Republicans this is all bad for Hillary
Steph: gays immoral yes or no
Brazille: criminy these campaigns are so driven by cautious campaign managers unlike the brave brave sir robin dukakis
George Will: when i was at boarding school this all de rigor we all experimented with using our left hands
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Tweety: he's got no religion
Parker: but he can handles snakes look at his close relationship with bernie kerik
Tweety: ha ha i luv how he talks he luvs cops
NYC reporter: lets face it he's an asshole
Tweety: when i ride the subway in brooklyn i fear the black man
Fineman: that's right and now Republicans fear brown people around the world he'll crack skulls but competently
Tweety: he trashed his wife on tv
Heileman: he's abusive
Fineman: Donna's boy not liking Rudy
Tweety: ok here's where I pour on the luv on Rudy
Parker: but he can handles snakes look at his close relationship with bernie kerik
Tweety: ha ha i luv how he talks he luvs cops
NYC reporter: lets face it he's an asshole
Tweety: when i ride the subway in brooklyn i fear the black man
Fineman: that's right and now Republicans fear brown people around the world he'll crack skulls but competently
Tweety: he trashed his wife on tv
Heileman: he's abusive
Fineman: Donna's boy not liking Rudy
Tweety: ok here's where I pour on the luv on Rudy
Sunday Not An Exact Transcript
Tweety: rudy gives me woody on the stump
Rudy: being mayor is perfect prep for Prez
Tweety: voters are taking a hard look
Fineman: but getting nyc streets snowplowed is foreign policy
Katty: he's selling himself as comptent
Parker: 9/11 9/11 9/11 murder rate jihad
NYC Guy: dood new yorkers never liked him and they were that panicked to begin with
Rudy: being mayor is perfect prep for Prez
Tweety: voters are taking a hard look
Fineman: but getting nyc streets snowplowed is foreign policy
Katty: he's selling himself as comptent
Parker: 9/11 9/11 9/11 murder rate jihad
NYC Guy: dood new yorkers never liked him and they were that panicked to begin with
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Not An Exact Transcript!
karl rove: jesus I'm the good guy here I could have fired all of them but I was too busy destroying the CIA
Blankley: there's nothing to see here after all Reagan did it so it must have been right.
Gregory: dood that's a head scratcher
Blankely: oh fuck it I admit it Gonzalez is teh Freddo of this crowd now we need a rowboat
Blankely: dood i was Newt's press secretary so believe i know how to handle lying and scandal cover-ups
Gregory: hmmm interesting whats up with your hair
Blankman: its spray on heh these guys are all dumb fucks
Gregory: my hair totally rulez
Blankman: Schumer is deeply insincere but I will say they could face the ultimate sanction that is apologize and get promoted
Blankley: there's nothing to see here after all Reagan did it so it must have been right.
Gregory: dood that's a head scratcher
Blankely: oh fuck it I admit it Gonzalez is teh Freddo of this crowd now we need a rowboat
Blankely: dood i was Newt's press secretary so believe i know how to handle lying and scandal cover-ups
Gregory: hmmm interesting whats up with your hair
Blankman: its spray on heh these guys are all dumb fucks
Gregory: my hair totally rulez
Blankman: Schumer is deeply insincere but I will say they could face the ultimate sanction that is apologize and get promoted
Not An Exact Transcript!
McKay: dood Gonzalez lied but the crime here is that they're so fucking bad at it
Cummins: they smeared good people to hide their total shittiness nice huh
Gregory: why were you fired dood
Cummins: hey i was willing to do the little salute when bush came in the room but I wasn't gonna grow the charlie chaplin mustache
Gregory: hey is Justice really the place to stick the losers of the bush administration
Cummins: draw yur own conclusions heh heh
McKay: they put a cloud over the whole Justice department
Gregory: cmon speculate about these fascists
Mckay: well i wouldn't throw dems in abu ghraib so that's a performance problem
McKay: call me crazy but someone needs to look into this
Gregory: bush administration DOJ is full of inexperience hacks true?
Cummins: you don't need a lot of experience in prosecutions to have ethics for crying out loud
Mckay: i don't think gonzalez is too political but the people he works with are like bush and rove people like that
Cummins: yes of course new presidents can put new US attorneys in but by the hammer of thor you can't prosecute people for political reasons
Cummins: they smeared good people to hide their total shittiness nice huh
Gregory: why were you fired dood
Cummins: hey i was willing to do the little salute when bush came in the room but I wasn't gonna grow the charlie chaplin mustache
Gregory: hey is Justice really the place to stick the losers of the bush administration
Cummins: draw yur own conclusions heh heh
McKay: they put a cloud over the whole Justice department
Gregory: cmon speculate about these fascists
Mckay: well i wouldn't throw dems in abu ghraib so that's a performance problem
McKay: call me crazy but someone needs to look into this
Gregory: bush administration DOJ is full of inexperience hacks true?
Cummins: you don't need a lot of experience in prosecutions to have ethics for crying out loud
Mckay: i don't think gonzalez is too political but the people he works with are like bush and rove people like that
Cummins: yes of course new presidents can put new US attorneys in but by the hammer of thor you can't prosecute people for political reasons
Friday, August 11, 2006
Wall Street Journal Wimps Out
"Another issue that should be front and center again is ethnic profiling. We'd be shocked if such profiling wasn't a factor in the selection of surveillance targets that resulted in yesterday's arrests. Here in the U.S., the arrests should be a reminder of the dangers posed by a politically correct system of searching 80-year-old airplane passengers with the same vigor as screeners search young men of Muslim origin.
– Editorial, The Wall Street Journal
The Wall Street "Soft on Terror" Journal wants to exempt women from their profile, but guess what?
The surrender monkeys at the "Blame America First Journal" apparently haven't heard that several of the bombers in the latest "plot" were women.
It may not be easy to game the system, but it sure is easy to game the children at the "Defeat Street Journal."
– Editorial, The Wall Street Journal
The Wall Street "Soft on Terror" Journal wants to exempt women from their profile, but guess what?
The surrender monkeys at the "Blame America First Journal" apparently haven't heard that several of the bombers in the latest "plot" were women.
It may not be easy to game the system, but it sure is easy to game the children at the "Defeat Street Journal."
Friday, February 17, 2006
Harry Whittington (and the Barenaked Ladies)
ONE WEEK
By Harry Whittington and the Barenaked Ladies
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Cocked your gun to your shoulder and nearly killed me.
Five days since you blasted me
Saying Harry, geez, you didn't see me.
Three days since we were drinking
I realized it’s all my fault, I wasn’t thinking
Yesterday you’d have unplugged me
But now I’m alive and said I’m sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Arrange a federal contract
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Waved your gun around and really hurt me
Five days since you injured me
I’ve still got the birdshot lodged in my cheeks
It’s been three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you’d have pinned the blame on me
But now you don’t have to I said I'm sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Remember Katrina
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Had one beer and didn't see me
Five days since I almost died
And all your friends went on tv and lied
Three days since we hunted quail
Now thanks to me you won’t need bail
Yesterday you Swift Boated me
But now you won’t I said I'm sorry
You let me live I said I said I'm sorry
Can I meet you later in the lobby…
By Harry Whittington and the Barenaked Ladies
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Cocked your gun to your shoulder and nearly killed me.
Five days since you blasted me
Saying Harry, geez, you didn't see me.
Three days since we were drinking
I realized it’s all my fault, I wasn’t thinking
Yesterday you’d have unplugged me
But now I’m alive and said I’m sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Arrange a federal contract
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Waved your gun around and really hurt me
Five days since you injured me
I’ve still got the birdshot lodged in my cheeks
It’s been three days since the afternoon
You realized it’s my fault not a moment too soon
Yesterday you’d have pinned the blame on me
But now you don’t have to I said I'm sorry
How can you help it if you’re not sorry that I’m sad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
You’re the kind of guy who can start a war
Remember Katrina
It sucks to be poor
You have a tendency of getting your own way
You have a history of coming out on top
It’s been one week since you shot at me
Had one beer and didn't see me
Five days since I almost died
And all your friends went on tv and lied
Three days since we hunted quail
Now thanks to me you won’t need bail
Yesterday you Swift Boated me
But now you won’t I said I'm sorry
You let me live I said I said I'm sorry
Can I meet you later in the lobby…
Friday, February 03, 2006
YOU BROKE MY HEART
Something about this scene is very familiar....
"You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
Thursday, February 02, 2006
We Finally Got Us a Boehner!
Oh, Congress was corrupt in city of D.C.,
when the GOP stepped up to the plate.
Delay had been swingin' and missin'
and talkin'' and dissin'
His average was point-double-o-eight.
So they debated each other
and voted in secret
And picked the guy with less taint.
This time they're gettin' a good guy!
With Abramoff he hasn't been sighted!
He may earmark and arm twist but at least
he hasn’t been indicted!
We've been slumpin' off season,
But now we've found a reason.
We've found a guy with less taint!
We used to play the field,
We used to be a roamer!
But the season's turnin' around for us now...
We finally got a Boehner!
That's right, we finally got a Boehner!
(courtesty of the Simpsons)
when the GOP stepped up to the plate.
Delay had been swingin' and missin'
and talkin'' and dissin'
His average was point-double-o-eight.
So they debated each other
and voted in secret
And picked the guy with less taint.
This time they're gettin' a good guy!
With Abramoff he hasn't been sighted!
He may earmark and arm twist but at least
he hasn’t been indicted!
We've been slumpin' off season,
But now we've found a reason.
We've found a guy with less taint!
We used to play the field,
We used to be a roamer!
But the season's turnin' around for us now...
We finally got a Boehner!
That's right, we finally got a Boehner!
(courtesty of the Simpsons)
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Why Does Bill O'Reilly Hate Christmas?
I was just at the official Bill O'Reilly web site, and it doesn't wish visitors "Merry Christmas" ANYWHERE on the whole site!!!
Why is Bill O'Reilly conducting a war on Christmas????
Why, Bill, why???
Why do want to make baby Jesus cry???
Why is Bill O'Reilly conducting a war on Christmas????
Why, Bill, why???
Why do want to make baby Jesus cry???
Monday, November 28, 2005
Rank Stirpidity
Congressman Randy Cunningham, also known as the Duke, or Dukester, owner the yacht "The DukeStir" has pled guilty AND resigned from Congress.
Oh, Randy....
From Talking Points Memo:
"Between the year 2000 and June of 2005 in our district, you conspired to accept bribes in exchange for performance of official duties. Did you do that?" Judge Burns asked Cunningham.
"Yes, your honor," Cunningham replied.
"Did you take both cash payments and payments in kind?"
"Yes, your honor," the congressman said.
"Did you follow up by trying to influence the Defense Department?"
"Yes, your honor."
Oh, Randy....
From Talking Points Memo:
"Between the year 2000 and June of 2005 in our district, you conspired to accept bribes in exchange for performance of official duties. Did you do that?" Judge Burns asked Cunningham.
"Yes, your honor," Cunningham replied.
"Did you take both cash payments and payments in kind?"
"Yes, your honor," the congressman said.
"Did you follow up by trying to influence the Defense Department?"
"Yes, your honor."
Friday, November 18, 2005
This is What Fascism Looks Like
Question the war, get investigated.
ROLL CALL
"GOP Lawmakers Float Ethics Probe of Murtha"
by John Bresnahan
Roll Call Staff
Friday, Nov. 18
"Republican lawmakers say that ties between Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) and his brother’s lobbying firm, KSA Consulting, may warrant investigation by the House ethics committee."
I think we need to elevate the Fascism Alert Level.
ROLL CALL
"GOP Lawmakers Float Ethics Probe of Murtha"
by John Bresnahan
Roll Call Staff
Friday, Nov. 18
"Republican lawmakers say that ties between Rep. John Murtha (D-Pa.) and his brother’s lobbying firm, KSA Consulting, may warrant investigation by the House ethics committee."
I think we need to elevate the Fascism Alert Level.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Bush Crazies Plan to Rock MTV
"If any song was ever a virtual lock to top the TRL charts, it’s got to be this rockin’ tribute to all things Bush."
With that sentence, the line between reality and satire has been erased.
With gems like:
Freedom in Afghanistan, say goodbye Taliban
Free elections in Iraq, Saddam Hussein locked up
Osama’s staying underground, Al Qaida now is finding out
America won’t turn and run once the fighting has begun
Don’t you know that all this means…
BUSH WAS RIGHT!!
BUSH WAS RIGHT!!!
These people often mistake screaming loudest for being proved right. Orwell noticed the same problem.
Still, one has to wonder, considering Bush was against nation-building prior to September 11, what exactly was he right about? Allowing American to suffer the worst attack in its soil in history so he would have cover to invade Afghanistan?
But don't worry, Osama's undergroud, so it's all ok.
This is funny:
WILL YOU HELP US? We’re putting together a “kickin’” music video right now,
and we’re preparing a HUGE grassroots campaign to get hundreds of thousands of
people to request “Bush Was Right!” on MTV’s “Total Request Live” show… leading to
our demands for it to be played in regular rotation!
If they DON’T - then we’ll hit the media in a BIG way, showing how MTV plays
left-wing videos while CENSORING conservative videos!"
The media are scared now. Get ready for some "kickin"!
With that sentence, the line between reality and satire has been erased.
With gems like:
Freedom in Afghanistan, say goodbye Taliban
Free elections in Iraq, Saddam Hussein locked up
Osama’s staying underground, Al Qaida now is finding out
America won’t turn and run once the fighting has begun
Don’t you know that all this means…
BUSH WAS RIGHT!!
BUSH WAS RIGHT!!!
These people often mistake screaming loudest for being proved right. Orwell noticed the same problem.
Still, one has to wonder, considering Bush was against nation-building prior to September 11, what exactly was he right about? Allowing American to suffer the worst attack in its soil in history so he would have cover to invade Afghanistan?
But don't worry, Osama's undergroud, so it's all ok.
This is funny:
WILL YOU HELP US? We’re putting together a “kickin’” music video right now,
and we’re preparing a HUGE grassroots campaign to get hundreds of thousands of
people to request “Bush Was Right!” on MTV’s “Total Request Live” show… leading to
our demands for it to be played in regular rotation!
If they DON’T - then we’ll hit the media in a BIG way, showing how MTV plays
left-wing videos while CENSORING conservative videos!"
The media are scared now. Get ready for some "kickin"!
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