Sunday, January 06, 2013

Meet The Press – January 6, 2013

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
Alan Simpson
Erskine Bowles
Sen. Angus King (I-ME)
Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-CA)
Newt Gingrich
E.J. Dionne
Carly Fiorina
Gregory: OMG it's the annual fight over the 
debt ceiling which first began a long time 
ago when a black guy became President!

Audience: ooh

Gregory: Republicans are vowing to threaten 
to default unless they get what they want 
but first happy new year Senator McConnell

Gregory: you compared the debt limit to
a hostage you ransom and must be willing to shoot

McConnell: ever since Obama became
President spending became a big problem

Gregory: amazing

McConnell: last week we amended the
Constitution forbidding taxes forever and ever

Gregory: I did not know that

McConnell: no one likes taking America's
credit hostage but we must do it to make
Obama cut spending

Gregory: would you really wreck
America's economy like that?

McConnell: unfortunately we have to since
a Democrat became President spending and
the debt suddenly became a really big problem

Gregory: but it's a threat to America's credit

McConnell: look we have to since do
this since we can't win through normal politics

Gregory: fair enough

McConnell: spending has exploded
the last four years!

Gregory: for four years you refused to 
work with Obama and tried to make 
him a one-term President

McConnell: he has to be dragged
kicking and screaming slashing into Social Security
and the time to do it is right now when
a Democrat is President and he will get blamed

Gregory: since the debt is so important
would you be willing to raise more taxes?

McConnell: oh hell no that's over

Gregory: that's your final answer?

McConnell: yes the biggest threat to
America's future is all the spending I
supported when Bush was President

Gregory: Obama proposed entitlement
cuts and you said no

McConnell: he never made those proposals –
if he had Mitt Romney would have run
against those cuts in the 2012 election

Gregory: what cuts would you support right now?

McConnell: raise the Medicare age and
also means-test Medicare

Gregory: I see

McConnell: Americans are living too long
and we must address that now!

Gregory: you're the man to do it

McConnell: we should not have to
drag the President to the table

Gregory: would you shut the government down?

McConnell: the single biggest threat to
America is past excessive spending –
where is Obama's time machine?!?!

Gregory: Conservatives say you totally
caved to Obama under the Fiscal Cliff deal

McConnell: I was very fiscally responsible
and prevented tax increaes for 99% of people

Gregory: most impressive

McConnell: this was not a tax increase!
Just ask Saint Grover Norquist!

Gregory: it seems like the GOP is in
total chaos right now

McConnell: not true – we all agree that
taxes should be cut for billionaires

Gregory: good point

McConnell: now the American people
want us to eliminate Medicare

Gregory: what is your number one goal now
that you have failed to defeat Obama?

McConnell: the massive massive debt

Gregory: you want to make it bigger?

McConnell: no!

Gregory: sorry honest mistkae

McConnell: I want to Obama to take the lead
on Republicans' unpopular ideas

Gregory: what about Chuck Hagel?

McConnell: I am worried he is not patriotic

Gregory: he served in Vietnam!

McConnell: I meant patriotic for Israel

Gregory: could you support any
limits on people buying guns?

McConnell: yes I think we should address
spending and the debt for first time 
in Clinton was President

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG OMG Alan Simpson is here!! 
I'm squeeeeing!!!

Audience: oh god

Gregory: The American debt is just like an
America's family's credit card debts!!
The debt is the most important thing ever!!!
Here are the greatest men alive! Eeeeek!

Simpson: calm down David

Gregory: I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!

Bowles: it's ok Fluffy, you're worthy

Gregory: meeeeeep

Bowles: we must cut Social Security

Simpson: did you know that we are awesome?

Gregory: yes I did! I did!

Simpson: the debt deficit and interest
are wrecking America!

Gregory: oh god you guys are the best

Bowles: yes we are

Gregory: Obama says he offered to cut
Social Security and Republicans said
no to any tax increases

Bowles: well he is right about that
but still Obama hasn't done enough

Gregory: what has he failed at?

Bowles: he's failed to make Republicans
make tough decisions

Gregory: I begged Obama to cut Medicare
and he got all huffy saying the program
was really important to poor old people

Bowles: I would cut half a trillion dollars
from Medicare through raising the eligibility age,
negotiating drug prices, and early end of life issues

Gregory: what about the debt ceiling?

Simpson: McConnell should work with
his colleagues instead of threatening America

Gregory: what breaks this impasse?

Simpson: cut spending

Gregory: what spending?

Simpson: greedy old people –
who's fucking kidding who?!?

[ break ]

Gregory: it seems like U.S. government is dysfunctional

King: yes that is why people despair of America

Gregory: it's so sad - how do you break the impasse

King: we should make decisions and solve problems

Gregory: fantastic

Gingrich: we lurch from crisis to crisis
and it makes people crazy

Gregory: yes it's terrible

Becerra: this is no way to run a government

Gregory: right

Becerra: we must lock ourselves in a room
and put our budget proposals around the necks
of two roosters and let the biggest cock win

Gregory: interesting approach

Dionne: hey we raised taxes –
now let's make a small deal to stabilize the debt

Becerra: too small – singles don't 
win baseball games

Dionne: yes they do – now let's address unemployment

Fiorina: I know I sound crazy

Gregory: yes you do but go on

Fiorina: Goldman Sachs says the
fiscal cliff deal is a bad idea

Gregory: well I'm convinced

Fiorina: Obama must lead America and
do whatever Goldman Sachs says

Gregory: but he needs the Republican
House to work with him

Fiorina: but Obama needs to treat Republicans
respect like not saying anything when they yell out “you lie”

Becerra: the House can't even agree on 
hurricane disaster relief!

Fiorina: that bill was larded with pork!

Gingrich: typical Democrats ruining America

Becerra: but Chris Christie supported
the funding bill and he is a Republican
Gingrich: when he said something nice
about Obama he lost his GOP privileges

Gingrich: Republicans have no obligation
to fund the government

Dionne: Gingrich is right when he says threatening
the debt ceiling is a terrible idea and dumb politics

King: the debt ceiling is already paying bills
for money you already spent

Gregory: Carly it does seem like a scary idea

Fiorina: sure it's stupid but having a
big debt also ruins our credit rating

Gregory: I see

Fiorina: Obama must cut the debt Bush ran up!

Gingrich: forget the debt ceiling –
just stop funding the government!

Gregory: Angus where's the beef?

King: as an independent I can send
messages to both sides like Switzerland

Gregory: ricoooolaaaa!!

King: we must raise taxes and make painful cuts

Gregory: excellent

King: Obama should call some people
I don't know and get his hands dirty and
lock them in Camp David and then flee

Becerra: we've had a trillion in spending cuts
and $700 billion in Medicare cuts
that Mitt Romney railed against

Fiorina: spending got out of control in 2009

Dionne: abandoning the debt ceiling threat
would boost the economy

Fiorina: Obama invented spending!

Gingrich: the media loves a fake crisis

Gregory: don't criticize the media!

Gingrich: we must cut spending now that 
Obama has been reelected

Gregory: what about Chuck Hagel?

King: you talk about reaching out to
Republicans and Obama nominates a
famous Republican to run Defense
and what happens – Republicans stage a total freak out

Gregory: and that's another 
episode of Meet The Press


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