Mayor Rahm Emmanuel (D-Chicago)
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL)
Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE)
Amanpour: Police fired rubber bullets
and tear gas in a futile effort to keep their
grip on power in U.C. Davis - no wait that was Egypt
Also Obama is invading Australian or something
The GOP candidates got emotional last
night in Iowa except of course for Mitt Romney
who was getting his emotion chip replaced
Gingrich: I took a million dollars from
Freddie Mac for telling them they shouldn’t
give a million dollars to politicians
Pelosi: I don’t have time to debate idiots
Cain: Libya - that’s one of those countries
twirling in my head!
Pizza: If a vegetable can run for President
then so can I
[ break ]
Amanpour: Good morning Rahm -
Is Obama getting really lucky with
his GOP opponents?
Emmanuel: we gave the GOP a surplus and
they gave us a debt and a Depression and
now they want to do it all over again
Amanpour: But Obama promised to make
the Republicans act sane and he has failed
so we should elect Republicans
Emmanuel: Obama has tried to work with
the GOP and they said their only goal is
destroy Obama - so excuse me Christiane
but it’s their fucking fault
Amanpour: But Obama failed in making
the Super Committee make a deal
Emmanuel: Obama can’t make these
jackasses act like patriots Christiane
Amanpour: you’re very partisan
Emmanuel: damn right I am
Amanpour: how do win re-election
Emmanuel: tell people they have two choices:
Obama who stands with the middle class
and Mitt Romney who stands with the 1%
Amanpour: the 99% are getting their skulls
cracked and eyes peppered
Emmanuel: In the Bush years the middle
class got completely hammered and intend
to do some skull-cracking on their behalf
Amanpour: does Team Obama think
the nominee will be Romney?
Will: yes and they are probably right
Noonan: Obama can only win by tearing
Romney down which is so sad
Krugman: also no other candidate could
possibly beat Obama
Dowd: the presidential race is much like
college football but with less child rape
Krugman: we have one slick opportunist
and a bunch of fools and clowns
Will: my wife is advising Perry - having
said that - Newt Gingrich is a cheap whore
Noonan: that’s so unfair - Gingrich is an
Krugman: good point Peggy
Dowd: Newt is not a lobbyist - he’s paid
millions of dollars to influence government
on behalf of corporations
Will: Newt is an insufferable pompous
twit and an ethanol prostitute
Dowd: Ron Paul will win Iowa then New
Hampshire and we will have our first
Noonan: When Paul wins Iowa the country
will finally wake up and see that primary
voters are nuts
Krugman: Gingrich is a stupid person’s idea
of what a smart person sounds like
Noonan: Gingrich has a brilliantly novel tactic
- attack the media
Amanpour: oh my
Will: Ron Paul will run as third-party candidate
in 2012 and give the election to Obama
Noonan: oh my
Amanpour: Marco how many jobs will
your plan create?
Rubio: Job creators!
Am: anything else?
Rubio: JOB CREATORS!
Amanpour: Chris how about that?
Coons: Balanced! Bipartisan!
Amanpour: will this pass?
Rubio: yes because I am adorable
Amanpour: is that true Senator Coons?
Coons: yes - he is adorable