Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Republican response to State of the Union Address

Hi I’m Congressman Paul Ryan - tonight’s designated loser

As the Bible says - let’s pray for the wounded and cut the deficit

We cut Congress’s own budget - no more hookers before 9:00 p.m!!

Obama doubled the size of the government 50 years from now!

It’s true we handed Obama a total crisis but he created more debt - it was an 84% increase if you totally lie

And then he said Americans deserve health care - I mean that’s just crazy

How can businesses create jobs with all these sick people being treated? What the hell?

Last week Republicans passed a fictional repeal of the health care law so our work is done

Republicans just realized that the debt is out of control - so we need to cut taxes for corporations and rich people

It’s a fucking spending spree!

Oh by the way we love old people so more money for all you voters

As Thomas Jefferson once said the purpose of government is to build a wall to keep out immigrants, attack pirates, cut taxes for the rich and keep mosques out of lower Manhattan

What is up with government anyway? I mean do we really need one? Really?

We’re approaching a tipping point - within a year a young inexperienced black son of a Kenyan will prove to be a better President than a white Yale legacy son of a President. We don’t have much time! Our day of reckoning is soon here!! We must act now!!

Remember Lincoln was a white guy! And so was Washington! White guys brought you Gettysburg, Pearl Harbor and Ultimate Fighting! Give us another chance!!



No comments: