Sunday, November 22, 2009

This Week with George Stephanopoulos - November 22, 2009

November 22, 2009
Sen. Ben Nelson
Sen. Tom Coburn
Rep. Wasserman-Schultz
Rep. Blackburn
Stephanopoulos: Ben Nelson can you live with
the health reform bill or will you kill yourself
if it’s enacted

Nelson: no I hate it but Harry Reid threatened me

Stephanopoulos: how?

Nelson: he would have read the entire bill to me and that was more than I could handle

Stephanopoulos: Crazy Tom you promised to read the whole bill out loud - why did you cave in?

Coburn: I can’t read

Coburn: the problem with health care is that people have too much health which costs too much

Nelson: the Republican is right

Stephanopoulos: what a diverse panel this is!

Coburn: This is bill is fascist! Why do specialists make more money than primary care?? It’s just
like Dachau!!

Wasserman-Schultz: yes because everyone at Dachau had good health care and were mostly worried about the skyrocketing premiums

Coburn: that’s what I heard

Wasserman-Schultz: with all due respect did you
go to school in the Caribbean?

Coburn: I am an verteran of the great Grenada Lebanon Distraction War

Blackburn: this is government takeover of
health care and also it fails because there is no malpractice reform

Wasserman-Schultz: Medicare is pretty successful

Blackburn: sure, if you’re fan of Hitler!

Wasserman-Schultz: Hey dumbass this plan covers people and saves money

Stephanopoulos: Ben Nelson you’re one of
the Democrats who oppose the public option for no reason

Nelson: because it’s fascism - which is fine for Massachusetts but not Nebraska

Stephanopoulos: so you will vote against it
if it has a public option

Nelson: no I will oppose it for many other reasons!

Stephanopoulos: what’s the real reason Ben
- be honest

Nelson: it undermines the private insurers

Coburn: name one government agency that
works well

Stephanopoulos: Medicare, Veterans health, the CDC, the Pentagon-

Coburn: that’s a government-centered approach

Stephanopoulos: -to government

Coburn: indeed we should turn over all military affairs to private contractors

Stephanopoulos: I thought we did

Coburn: Medicare denies care all the time
- this bill establishes a Department of Death Panels and Killing Grandparents

Stephanopoulos: that could be controversial

Blackburn: on page 1,200 of the health bill it bans all mammograms - it’s amazing!!!

Wasserman-Schultz: oh that’s bullshit

Blackburn: these conveniently timed Bush-era recommendations are outrageous!

Coburn: I can’t believe a bureaucracy would decide what is covered under insurance!

Nelson: I agree - insurers are some of the most wonderful people I know whereas all bureaucrats spend their days dreaming of killing people

Stephanopoulos: but if you don’t have some guidelines how do control costs?

Nelson: I want to save costs - I just don’t want the rules to be applied to white people in Nebraska

Blackburn: Obama’s czar is going to be in
the exam room!

Wasserman-Schultz: we haven’t discussed the insurance companies rationing at all

Blackburn: sure they’re evil - but they make money and we need that in America

Stephanopoulos: Tom Coburn I know your insanity is a sore subject but people say you were a party
to corruption

Coburn: that’s a lie

Stephanopoulos: you didn’t serve as an intermediary with Ensign and his crazy family?

Coburn: oh that - yeah I did that - but only because I’m such a nice guy

Stephanopoulos: I can see that

Coburn: you don’t know what it’s like in the Republican Senate caucus - I’m obsessed with lesbians in high school bathroom and I’m considered the normal one

Stephanopoulos: wow


demit said...

Laugh out loud funny! I look forward to these every week. CoT, you're the best.

IndieTarheel said...

Stephanopoulos: Crazy Tom you promised to read the whole bill out loud - why did you cave in?

Coburn: I can’t read