Sunday, November 08, 2009

Meet The Press - November 8, 2009

Meet The Press
November 8, 2009
General Casey
Gov. Haley Barbour
Gov. Ed Rendell
Gregory: General I love your fatigues

Casey: thanks

Gregory: was this Fort Hood guy a lone gunman

Casey: I can’t answer that

Gregory: people think that counseling veterans stressed out by combat and then being sent to Iraq himself may have made him snap

Casey: and this is a surprise to you?

Gregory: how did the Army miss the warning signs?

Casey: Fluffy we really don’t know what happened

Gregory: but he hated our wars!

Casey: you are a silly person

Gregory: if he wanted to be discharged why not let him?

Casey: are you kidding - a muslim psychiatrist is like gold fluffy - gold!

Gregory: we send soldiers to repeated tours of duty - is that bad?

Casey: sure - we’re thinking about training soldiers to deal with it better

Gregory: but we will keep sending them into combat?

Casey: the empire won’t run itself Greggers

Gregory: can U.S. muslims fight our ongoing
war on Islam?

Casey: we don’t have a war on Islam

Gregroy: ok - should we send 40,000 troops
to Afghanistan?

Casey: yeah like I’m going to answer that

Gregory: The House passed a Democratic health reform bill so let me turn to an expert - Haley Barbour

Barbour: those Dems fahailed!

Gregory: aren’t the Democrats doomed Ed?

Rendell: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: but the centrists!

Rendell: calm down Fluffy

Barbour: theah merkin paypal don’t want government crammed down theah throat

Gregory: the middle class will hate the bill won’t they

Rendell: look you idiot it’s a good bill that will help millions of people

Gregory: Governor Barbour are the Democrats totally doomed?

Barbour: sadly yes - David Broder said so

Gregory: oh noe!

Barbour: people are very angry at health care reform - they want jobs - so of course they are turning to Republicans with their great track record

Gregory: the Moonie Times and Politico say Obama is doing too much and also not doing enough

Rendell: wow that’s stupid

Gregory: but he’s doing too much

Rendell: that’s silly

Gregory: just bash Obama ok

Barbour: Look its very simple - Obama is only popular because he is black and Americans just love
black people

Gregory: of course

Gregory: what do you think of Sarah Palin

Barbour: she’s an idiot

Gregory: could she be President?

Barbour: of what?

Gregory: will you run for President?

Barbour: we’ve done worse than me

Rendell: I don’t know about that

Gregory: Ed is Obama totally doomed?

Rendell: yeah whatever Fluffers

Gregory: please sing the praises of Saint Ronnie of the Deficit

Barbour: Reagan helped ordinary people not the rich fat cats on Wall Street

Rendell: what the fuck??

Gregory: do we need to send 40,000 more troops
to Afghanistan?

Barbour: definitely and if Obama sends then I promise we won’t compare him to Hitler anymore

Gregory: and if he doesn’t?

Barbour: the entire 2010 election will revolve around Dachau

Rendell: where are all these troops supposed to come from?

Barbour: Buddha will provide

[ break ]

Gregory: Obama has to send non-existent troops to Afghanistan or else he will be called a British-Indonesian-Kenyan-Muslim American-hater

Brooks: right

Maddow: they will call him StalinHitler no matter what

Gillespie: we have learned from the mistakes of the Bush administration that Obama is a bad President

Dionne: oh wait I just remembered something about Afghanistan - we’re totally fucked there

Gregory: Obama achieved a great victory last night

Maddow: except for not covering women

Gillespie: the bill uses the word “shall” and of course we can’t have government mandating things

Brooks: we’re America - we can’t afford to help sick Americans

Dionne: Reagan said Medicare was terrible - in 50 years Gillespie will sing the praises of Pelosi-care

Gillespie: under Obamacare I won’t live that long!

Maddow: the Republican plan really would wreck the economy - no one ever mentions that because they’re so worthless

Dionne: It’s simple - health care reform is a good fucking idea

Brooks: the problem with our system is we spend
too much making sick people well

Gregory: The Democrats lost on Tuesday!

Gillespie: Conservatives won in Virginia which is truly amazing

Maddow: Deeds lost because he sucked and ran away from Obama

Brooks: Democrats lost the county executive race in Westchester because Obama is bad man

Gregory: We have 10% unemployment in the
Obama recession!

Maddow: hey you might as well have second stimulus because the Dems and Obama are going to get blamed anyway

Brooks: John Maynard Keynes was wrong about everything

Dionne: actually the stimulus was too small

Gillespie: we need to bring back that Bush economy - fuck yeah!


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

yeah whatever Fluffers

The ultimate shorter.

IndieTarheel said...

Could she be president?
Of what?