Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - April 19, 2009

Matthews: OMG Obama says things are starting to turn around - is he a hypocrite!?!?

Ignatius: he's not Churchill therefore he sucks

Tweety: ha we're not fair I love it!!

Ignatius: today I am an expert on economics

Tweety: ha!

Cooper: everything in the world is Obama's fault

Matthews: Is Obama trying to trick people into spending?

Cooper: he's a Jedi after all

Kay: confidence is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems

Tweety: i thought that alcohol

Kay: speak for yourself

Sully: i am very worried that the banks won't get more free money just because they are posting profits

Ignatius: it's terrible that Jamie Dimon won't take free billions - we must beg him to

Cooper: Obama has done a terrible job explaining to the American people why Citigroup needs their free billions

Sully: also the fact they’re evil doesn't help

Kay: they don't want government restrictions - they just want the free money

Tweety: perfectly understandable

Kay: Obama will be attacked if things haven't turned around in six weeks

Sully: that's stupid

Kay: he must ask for more trillions to rescue Wall street

Ignatius: yes he must do it and tender his resignation at the same time

Matthews: OMG Obama is just like Harold Hill in the Music Man!!

Kay: you're crazy

Mattews: ha!

Matthews: OMG let's a watch a movie about waterboarding!!!

[ shows clip of Kevin Costner with gills drinking his own urine ]

Matthews: OMG it’s worse than I thought!!

Ignatius: Oh c'mon it's completely understandable that six months after 9/11 you would put a bug up a guys ass

Matthews: yeah but without his consent??

Ignatius: the CIA is sick of people demonizing them just because they systematically crush people's testicles

Kay: some people might say the USA applies a double standard and maybe the US is not better than everyone else

Tweety: manacling naked people is pretty standard behavior isn't it?

Sully: we now know that Bush personally approved grotesque torture

Tweety: but he's still not a bad as Hitler!!

Matthews: why did Obama let these memos out - besides the obvious entertainment value??

Cooper: it's easy to forget how scared we were after 9/11

Sully: it was 2005!!

Cooper: pheh

Kay: we prosecuted people in Nuremberg before Nuremberg existed as a precedent!

Sully: what about Bush or Cheney! They're evil!!

Ignatius: I think we should address by speaking in a gravelly white man voice and eating cocktail weenies

Sully: Cheney says he approved waterboarding which is a war crime!!

Matthews: that's not what he says!

Sully: that's because he's a fucking vampire!!!

Kay: Obama is going to challenge Krugman to a duel - waterpistols at dawn

Cooper: Afghanistan is going to tulip-based economy

Matthews: ha!

Sully: the first to fall in torture-gate will be doctors since their brethren unlike political types take a dim view of hurting people

Matthews: they should meet my dentist!

Sully: you experience pain at the dentist?

Matthews: no at the local S/M club - but they should meet him!!

Matthews: what grade does Obama get?

Kay: B+

Ignatius: Grrrrr

Cooper: He said "okay"

Sully: Pass out of pass fail

Matthews: Epic Pass - ha!!!

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