Sunday, July 05, 2015

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – July 5, 2015

This Week with George StephanopoulosJuly 5, 2015
Pierre Thomas
Cecilia Vega
Terry Moran
Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-VA)
Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX)
Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK)
Joaquin Castro (D-TX)
Anne Gearan – Washington Post
Bill Kristol

Stephanopoulos: OMG America was
almost attacked by terrorists yesterday

Thomas: that's right George
it's terrifying

Stephanopoulos: so we
dodged a bullet

Thomas: but the threat
from ISIS is very real!

Stephanopoulos: that is so scary!

Thomas: ISIS is urging their
followers to kill Americans!

Stephanopoulos: eeeek

Thomas: Ramadan doesn't end
until July 17 which means we almost
certainly will be attacked before then

Stephanopoulos: I'm so frightened

Thomas: it will be a long
uneasy summer George!

Stephanopoulos: omg an
immigrant killed someone!

Thomas: bureaucracy can kill!!

Stephanopoulos: incredible

Thomas: he was a repeat
illegal immigration offender!

Thomas: after a drug charge he
was free to go so of course he
was going to kill someone

Stephanopoulos: naturally

Thomas: he was bound to kill!!

Stephanopoulos: welcome Congressman

Goodlatte: hi George

Stephanopoulos: what went wrong here?

Goodlatte: the federal government
should have sent him to prison for
illegally entering America!

Stephanopoulos: of course

Goodlatte: he was bound
to commit a murder!

Stephanopoulos: what should
the policy be?

Goodlatte: Obama is soft on illegal
border crossings leading to murder!

Stephanopoulos: I see

Goodlatte: Obama is releasing
criminals on to the street like a
big murder-loving poopyhead

Stephanopoulos: Obama
says deportations of criminals
are up 80%

Goodlatte: Obama is not
deporting all criminals!

Stephanopoulos: no?

Goodlatte: Obama doesn't 
care about murder!

Stephanopoulos: that seems a little harsh

Goodlatte: this happens every
day across America!

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming Bob

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: omg Mexicans really
are murderers! Donald Trump was right!

Vega: yes and Trump is not backing down!

Stephanopoulos: wow!

Vega: but Macy's isn't feeling the love George

Stephanopoulos: Jeb's wife is Mexican

Bush: he doesn't represent 
the Republican party

Stephanopoulos: Speaking of Donald Trump
Bernie Sanders is in the news

Vega: Bernie is drawing big crowds George

Stephanopoulos: I love it –
Hillary is doomed!

Vega: yes she still leads in
the polls for the time being

Stephanopoulos: but Hillary
roped off reporters so she's finished!

Vega: yes but the Clinton team
had a funny tweet so it's all ok

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: OMG Rick Perry is back!

Stephanopoulos: he's learning
foreign policy and trying to remember
three whole things at once

Perry: God wants me to run!

Stephanopoulos: welcome Rick

Perry: thanks George

Stephanopoulos: given your
ridiculous history why should
any sane person consider voting for you

Perry: Obama caused the recession
and terror attacks on America

Stephanopoulos: you're thinking
of George W. Bush who was a Republican

Perry: maybe so George

Stephanopoulos: what are your qualifications

Perry: Texas is the 12th
largest country in the world!

Stephanopoulos: was it your
idea to put the oil there

Perry: I am very mature and
served in the military

Stephanopoulos: Donald Trump
says you are weak on immigration

Perry: Obama is weak!

Stephanopoulos: Trump
says you are weak

Perry: Donald Trump is a moron

Stephanopoulos: we all know that

Perry: heh heh it's true

Stephanopoulos: does Trump
hurt the Republican party?

Perry: I was offended by his remarks
and I lived on a ranch with the most
offensively racist name imaginable

Stephanopoulos: that's
saying something

Perry: I love the latin
hispanics peoples

Stephanopoulos: you say
Obama failed on the economy

Perry: his policies
costs millions of jobs

Stephanopoulos: Obama says
he added millions of jobs

Perry: thanks to Texas!

Stephanopoulos: so you admit
Obama created 12 million jobs

Perry: America is losing jobs!

Stephanopoulos: that isn't true

Perry: Obama is killing jobs!

Stephanopoulos: no he isn't

Perry: he's a jobs-killer!

Stephanopoulos: you keep saying that

Perry: he's like ISIS
but he murders jobs!

Stephanopoulos: strong words

Perry: the EPA is destroying jobs!

Stephanopoulos: they are?

Perry: I will lower energy costs!

Stephanopoulos: they're
already ways down

Perry: if we slash corporate
taxes we will have a Renaissance

Stephanopoulos: with nude
statues and humanism?

Perry: Rick Santorum
can play Savonarola

Stephanopoulos: will you
invade and occupy Iran?

Perry: we should create an
international coalition to apply
strong sanctions on Iran

Stephanopoulos: Obama
did that years ago

Perry: and he got them to the table!

Stephanopoulos: so you support Obama?

Perry: there is going to be a Sunni bomb!

Stephanopoulos: you said we should
follow the teachings of Jesus and
kick gay people out of the military

Perry: states should decide
if they want to be gay instead
of having gayness forced
down their throats

Stephanopoulos: ok we've got that straight

Perry: I've been very clear
that gay people should be
considered second-class
citizens under the law

Stephanopoulos: but would you
ban them from the military?

Perry: no – we need them to
fight our next war with Iran!

Stephanopoulos: you're so unpopular
you don't qualify for the Republican debates

Perry: yes but I have smart 
person glasses now

Stephanopoulos: yes I can see that

Perry: I'm very optimistic

Stephanopoulos: or delusional

Perry: or both

Stephanopoulos: what's your path to victory?

Perry: we do three things – first we
generate interest and excitement,
second, we persuade undecided voters
that executive and military experience
matter and I forget the third thing

Stephanopoulos: that's okay Rick

Perry: oops

Stephanopoulos: good luck Governor

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: does Trump
help or hurt the Republican party?

Cole: he helps us!

Stephanopoulos: are you serious

Cole: yes because he
draws attention to the party

Castro: he draw attention to
the fact you're full of racist
and bigots

Cole: hey he's energized the base

Castro: he's energized hispanics
to hate the GOP

Kristol: he's tapped into
what many people believe –
Mexicans are rapists

Castro: Ted Cruz praised him
while NASCAR condemned
him – have you guys lost your minds?

Gearan: he's sucking attention
from other candidates

Cole: no he's allowing Jeb
to make himself look moderate

Stephanopoulos: when does he drop out?

Cole: never – he's got lots of
money to be a real candidate
as the Founders intended

Stephanopoulos: does he run
as a third party candidate?

Kristol: most illegal immigrants
are violent criminals

Castro: Donald Trump is a racist

Stephanopoulos: Trump is
just like Bernie Sanders!

Gearan: he's drawing huge crowds
Hillary is doomed!

Stephanopoulos: how does
she handle the threat??

Castro: the media was complaining
about a coronation and now they're
complaining she's not winning by enough

Kristol: don't underestimate Bernie Sanders!

Stephanopoulos: we're not

Kristol: Hillary is too close
to Goldman Sachs!

Cole: Sanders is a lefty leftist!

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