Sunday, May 10, 2015

Meet The Press – May 10, 2015

Pete Williams
J.M. Berger
John Carlin
Michael Leiter
Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)
Carly Fiorina
Erna Solberg – Prime Minister of Norway
Kathleen Parker
Matt Bai
Ruth Marcus
Michael Steele
Maria Shriver
Cathy Englebert – CEO Deloitte
Kishanna Brown
Jon Ralston

Todd: OMG ISIS claimed
credit for a shooting in America!

Audience: aack

Todd: ISIS on the
fucking internet!!

Williams: ISIS are motherfucking
twitter masters!

Berger: there are hundreds
of terrorists in America!

Carlin: ISIS wants lone wolves
to commit killings where it's convenient

Berger: lone wolves are lazy
but twitter can be encouraging

FBI: there are homegrown
extremists everywhere!

Todd: what is the role
of social media in terrorism?

Leiter: terrorism is all
twitter and Facebook now

Todd: that's amazing

Leiter: it's not easy to track
people on the Internet Chuck

Todd: that's not what I heard

Leiter: well it's true

Todd: the internet is saying
kill kill kill” all day long!

Feinstein: the internet is full of evil people

Todd: that's just YouTube commenters

Feinstein: ISIS is in eleven states
it's an occupying force  
and it's a governing force

Todd: it's a death trap its a suicide rap

Feinstein: we've got to get
'em while they're young

Todd: right

Feinstein: we have to get on social media!

Cory Booker: look at all ISIS' fancy
memes and our counter-terrorism
efforts have no retweets!

Leiter:we're not doing enough
but frankly it's not like kids are
going believe some tweet from the CIA

Todd: good point

Leiter: we have to monitor terrorists
including spying on everyone

Todd: Diane can the FBI track
all terrorists across America
or will that be too expensive?

Feinstein: if they want more
money all they have to do is ask for it

Todd: oh that's good to know

Feinstein: I've got a blank check
baby and I'll write your name

Todd: bulk collection is not legal
under Section 215 – will you fix the law?

Feinstein: we just have to stop
bulk collection and ask the phone
companies to do it for us

Todd: should Congress force phone
companies to keep that information?

Feinstein: we shall see Todd

[ break ]

Rubio: my foreign policy will be
based on the movie Taken 2!

Fiorina: unlike Hillary Clinton I am
not afraid to talk about my accomplishments
which fortunately doesn't take long

Todd: Carly Fiorina merged HP and
Compaq and laid off 30,000 people
then she ran for the Senate and lost

Todd: welcome Carly

Fiorina: thanks for having
me on Charles

Todd: you have never held elected office

Fiorina: voters want someone
outside from Washington

Todd: even so you have
no political experience

Fiorina: yes but I advised the CIA

Todd: oh okay then

Fiorina: I understand how the world works

Todd: then you're the only one who does

Fiorina: our government is a
vast bloated corrupt bureaucracy

Todd: sounds about right

Fiorina: I also understand tough
decision-making which Hillary Clinton doesn't

Todd: you were a CEO and lost 30,000 jobs

Fiorina: I made tough calls –
some people needed to be laid off

Todd: apparently including you

Fiorina: I did a great job as CEO!

Todd: but they fired you

Fiorina: they did fire me!

Todd: yes I know

Fiorina: I was fired because
I challenged the status quo

Todd: um ok

Fiorina: it was tough time
for tech companies Chuck

Todd: the stock soared
the day you were fired

Fiorina: you can't go by stock prices
they can mean anything

Todd: I was shocked that you
are against the free trade agreement

Fiorina: I'm in favor of free trade
but you can't trust foreign world leaders

Todd: like in China?

Fiorina: no like Barack Obama

Todd: I get it

Fiorina: free trade is good
but Barack Obama is giving
Iran nuclear weapons

Todd: would you want fast track
authority if you were President?

Fiorina: you can't trust Obama!

Todd: thanks for coming Car

Fiorina: you too Char

[ break ]

Todd: OMG Clinton is unpopular
but she still beats the GOP field!

Todd: Is Hillary Clinton
doomed or finished?

Parker: she's done because
of Benghazi and her e-mails

Todd: the Clintons are immune to scandals

Bai: Hillary Clinton is just
like Richard Nixon

Todd: that's pretty harsh Matt

Bai: I meant that as a compliment

Marcus: voters want someone
tough like Clinton who will knock
heads with foreign leaders

Todd: is Carly Fiorina a serious
candidate or is she trying to get a talk show?

Steele: she's very serious
did you know she's a woman?

Todd: no!

Steele: she handled the CEO question
very well by saying shareholder 
value is irrelevant – what matters 
is she left HP in tatters

Marcus: oh please – we would not be
talking about her if she weren't a woman

Parker: so is Hillary!

Marcus: she's a CEO who was fired
and then ran for Senate and lost

Parker: I've been fired!

Marcus: well never mind then

Parker: she's trustworthy and
answers many questions about her failures

Todd: former Speaker Jim Wright died

Todd: when Gingrich went after him
it was the beginning of the hyper
partisan world we live in today

Audience: thanks Newt!

[ break ]

Todd: Moms today are older, educated,
and make less money than men

Todd: there are more single-mom households

Todd: the USA is 33rd in places
good to be a mother

Todd: why is Norway the best
place to be a mother?

Solberg: we help people
have children and work also

Todd: why is the U.S. so bad for mothers?

Shriver: the U.S. doesn't do enough

Todd: what should the we do

Englebert: we need to help
women build confidence

Todd: okay

Englebert: we need paid leave
and predictability and flexibility

Brown: child care costs $1,400

Todd: kids are such a pain in ass

Brown: that's more than rent

Todd: that's expensive Maria

Shriver: this is not just a women's
issue – men have kids too

Todd: I suppose so

Shriver: it's inconceivable that
we don't have paid maternity leave

Todd: only the U.S. and seven
other tiny island counties don't
have paid leave

Shriver: California has paid leave
and business in California is booming

Todd: but they have no water

Shriver: look at Silicon Valley!

Todd: yes the dot com 
world is a haven for women

Englebert: you can have it all with balance

Todd: what do women need?

Brown: affordable child care
and more education

Todd: happy mother's day!

[ break ]

Todd: Meet the Billionaires who
will buy the 2016 election

Todd: Sheldon Adelson spent
$100 million to defeat Obama

Obama: LOL

Reporter: all the Republicans make
a pilgrimage to Las Vegas to beg
Sheldon Adelson to give them money

Cruz: we should stand with Israel!

Rubio: I can be Jewish if you want!

Reporter: Adelson gave $10
million to Karl Rove

Reporter: Adelson got rich
owning a casino in Macao

Former CEO of Adelson's casino:
we committed lots of crimes 
with violent Chinese gangs

Adelson: we never broke the law
but you can't alienate those gangs either

Todd: what does
Sheldon Adelson want?

Ralston: he wants to spend
millions and not lose

Todd: he's a smart one

Ralston: he want to
bankroll a sane Republican

Todd: well they're hard to come by

Ralston: the Adelson
primary is a pure pander-fest!

Todd: ha

Ralston: he's vetting all these
guys and he'll give a rose
to the one he falls for

Todd: does he hate the
Clintons like he hates Obama?

Ralston: well he really really hates Obama

Todd: interesting

Ralston: $100 million is
couch-cushion money for Adelson

Todd: that's democracy for you

[ break ]

Todd: Obama and Elizabeth
Warren are fighting over trade!

Obama: She's wrong!

Bai: Obama is irritated because
he thinks she's pandering

Todd: she's triangulating!

Bai: right

Todd: Bernie Sanders is
also fighting the trade deal

Marcus: where is Clinton?

Todd: any President would
want fast-track authority

Steele: this is going to pass

Todd: I'm not so sure

Marcus: neither am I – Democrats
don't like big trade deals and
Republicans don't like Obama

Todd: Tom Brady is a cheater
just like the Clintons!

Parker: the Clintons are liars too!

Todd: what are they lying about?

Parker: Monica Lewinsky

Todd: oh okay

Parker: the narrative is out there

Todd: Both Tom Brady and the Clintons
shade the rules but they always win

Bai: you want to win – hire a cheater!

Parker: what about the children??

Todd: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press