Sunday, April 29, 2012

Meet The Press - April 29, 2012

April 29, 2012
Ed Gillespie
Robert Gibbs
Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (R-WA)
Rachel Maddow
Hilary Rosen
John Castellanos
Brian Williams
Jason Sudekis
Fred Armisen

Gregory: Joe Biden says Mitt Romney
would not have killed Osama bin Laden

Gillespie: to politicize government
decisions is so shameful

Gregory: Bush put the of the
World Trade Center in his ads

Gillespie: yes but the destruction of
those building was Bush’s finest moment

Gregory: Dick Cheney says John Kerry
would weaken America

Gillespie: yes but that doesn’t count
since that was eight years ago

Gregory: is America safer because
of President Obama?

Gillespie: no because Obama has
been fighting with Israel

Gregory: I see

Gillespie: also Obama has weakened
America and under Romney our
nation will be stronger

Gregory: why is Mitt obsessed
with the Soviet Union?

Gillespie: Russia is bad and scary!

Gregory: Romney says Obama is taking
our freedom by returning to the
tax rates of the 1990s

Gillespie: President Obama is a Marxist
who raised prices for electricity

Gregory: good god

Gillespie: President Obama caused
the recession 2007

Gregory: cripes

Gillespie: also he caused another
recession in 2010

Gillespie: Bush cut taxes for the rich and
we had a terrible recession

Gillespie: that never happened -
the Bush economy was totally awesome

Gregory: how much damage did the
primary fights do to Mitt?

Gillespie: Romney was strengthened by
taking on tough opponents like
Herman Cain and Rick Santorum

Gregory: is Mitt a severe conservative
or to the left of Ted Kennedy?

Gillespie: he just hates Obama

Gregory: anything else?

Gillespie: electricity! Eee-lectriii-cityyyy!

Gregory: ok

Gillespie: if people vote for Mitt Romney
our long national nightmare of
adding jobs and killing terrorists will be over

Gregory: should women have
personal freedom or not?

Gillespie: since Obama was sworn in
women have lost jobs

Gregory: that’s not an answer

Gillespie: things were really bad in 2009
- whose fault is that?!?

Gregory: um the guy who took office in 2009?

Gillespie: exactly!

Gregory: thanks for coming Ed

[ break ]

Gregory: Bob you guys are politicizing
the killing of Osama bin Laden

Gibbs: in 2008 Obama said he would go
into Pakistan and McCain and Romney
said he wouldn’t

Gregory: did he?

Gibbs: he said it would be foolish

Gregory: does Obama really believe
Romney wouldn’t go into Pakistan
to kill bin Laden?

Gibbs: he said he wouldn’t!

Gregory: but bin laden is a bad guy

Gibbs: well then maybe Mitt is
flip-flopping on that too

Gregory: ha ha

Gibbs: also Romney would have
killed General Motors

Gregory: your campaign is indecorous

Gibbs: get used to it Fluffy

Gregory: how do you fix the recovery?

Gibbs: Bush lost 6 million jobs

Gregory: if you go by the numbers maybe

Gibbs: Romney doesn’t create jobs
- he loots companies

Gregory: they’re lootable

Gibbs: Obama has added 4 million jobs

Gregory: only four million?

Gibbs: we need a vibrant economy built to last!

Gregory: Mitt Romney says women will vote
for the GOP because gas prices are high

Gibbs: the GOP message is ‘why didn’t you
clean up the mess we made fast enough!’

Gregory: what about gyno-Americans?

Gibbs: they don’t trust women to
make their own decision!

Gregory: why should anyone vote for Obama
when Jimmy Kimmel made a joke about him?

Gibbs: we inherited the worst crisis in
50 years and now we are finally
recovering from it

Gregory: I see

Gibbs: should we elect a guy who buys
companies and fires everyone?

Gregory: maybe

Gregory: no Fluffy!

Gibbs: thanks for coming Gibber

Gregory: Hillary Rosen you said Ann Romney
worked a day in her life and those
remarks destroyed America

Rosen: how about talking about policies?

Gregory: do you think America can ever
recover from what you said?

Rosen: I do think so Fluffy

Gregory: do you hate motherhood?

Rosen: Romney wants poor working mothers
to pay more taxes while he gives his
rich friends a tax cut

Rogers: women don’t care about their bodies
- they care about the national debt

Gregory: what do women want?

Maddow: women makes 77 cents for
every dollar than women make

Castellanos: that isn’t true

Maddow: no?

Castellanos: well maybe they are
but there are reasons for it

Maddow: so it is true

Castellanos: yes but men are
valuable scientists so the should make more

Maddow: let’s talk policy - like the Fair Pay Act

Castellanos: I wish you were smart
Rachel because you are adorable

Maddow: you are a condescending jerk

Castellanos: who cares about abortion
or fair pay - the real problem is that
Obama caused the recession

Rosen: abortion fights are real!

Rogers: who cares! Gas prices are high!

Maddow: why are the GOP cracking
down on rape victims rights?

Rogers: Democrats are the ones who
are obsessed with abortion!

Castellanos: who cares about the law in Iowa??

Maddow: people in Iowa you idiot

Castellanos: What is this place called Iowa?
Is that even a state? Is that a city in
Game of Thrones?

Rosen: Mitt Romney endorsed the Paul Ryan
plan and that would cut day care which
would actually hurt women

Rogers: Paul Ryan? Iowa?? What are these
people and places you are talking about??
I’ve never heard of them!

Gregory: tell me about how you killed bin Laden

Williams: the White House photographer
helped us re-construct the moment when
bin Laden bought it

Gregory: is getting Osama political?

Williams: sure but it’s totally awesome

Gregory: that's cool B-Dub

Williams: hey if the mission had failed
don’t you think that would be political too?

Gregory: oh noe

Gregory: why is politics comedy fodder?

Sudekis: because we all look at these guys
and say oh man we’re doomed

Gregory: what’s it like playing Mitt Romney

Sudekis: he is boring like an uncrusted
butter sandwich

Gregory: You are dorky white guy playing
Barack Obama

Armisen: hey oh!

Gregory: you guys are so so funny

Armisen: ho!

Gregory: and that’s another episode
of Meet the Press


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