Host:
Martha Raddatz
Guests:
Dr.
Ben Carson
Sen.
Bernie Sanders (I-VT)
Suzanne
Vega
Alex
Castellanos
Van
Jones
Matt
Bai
Raddatz:
holy fuck it's an election year
and
Iowa is only weeks a away
Raddatz:
remember in 2008 Obama
shocked
everyone winning Iowa and
then
Clinton won in New Hampshire
so
anything can happen!
Raddatz:
get ready for more
insults
and zingers and one liners!
Raddatz:
who will rise and who will stumble?!
Llamas:
wow one year ago Jeb was
the
front runner and no one thought
Trump
would even run and now he's
going
to be our new dictator
Trump:
Mexicans is rapists!
Llamas:
in 2015 53 people ran for the
GOP
nomination which made it hard for
anyone
who wasn't a game show host
Llamas:
Rubio is now the
establishment candidate
Llamas:
Ben Carson was once
the
front-runner and now is in 4th place!
Llamas:
it's now the voter's turn to
decide
who the winners are instead of us
Raddatz:
welcome Doctor Carson
Carson:
nice to be here Mandy
Raddatz:
your campaign is in total chaos
Carson:
I need people who know
what
the fuck they're doing
Raddatz:
I see
Carson:
a business man I have
learned you
need people with
experience with executions
Raddatz:
you were going to fire staffers
and
they quit before you could
Carson:
that is true
Raddatz:
it seems like have trouble
getting
competent people to work with you
Carson:
in the next few weeks my
campaign
is going to take off like a rocket!
Raddatz:
what was wrong?
Carson:
we couldn't get our policies out
Raddatz:
really?
Carson:
I want a culture of openness
Raddatz:
I see
Carson:
also we need ideas
and
a strategy and reason to be
Raddatz:
whats the deal with
Armstrong Williams?
Carson:
no doubt he's a bit of dumbass
but
he's a close friend of mine
Raddatz:
Saudia Arabia executed
a
prominent Shiite cleric
Carson:
Obama made them do it
by
giving Iran a nuclear bomb
Raddatz:
so you support their execution
of this cleric?
Carson:
no but Obama is a silly person
Raddatz:
you think Muslims shouldn't
be President
Carson:
political correctness will
destroy America!
Raddatz:
okay
Carson:
the jihadis have said
they
will use political correctness
to
take over the USA
Raddatz:
I didn't know that
Carson:
if you go across the water from
Libya
you're in Europe where they've
established
a caliphate
Raddatz:
should Donald Trump watch
what he says
Carson:
stop worry about offending
Muslims
and worry about fighting them
Raddatz:
thanks for coming Doctor
Carson:
you too Mary
[
break ]
Raddatz:
well panelists
what
do you think?
Castellanos:
Ben Carson is doomed
which
is bad for Republicans because it
helps
Ted Cruz who no one likes
Raddatz:
interesting
Castellanos:
Ben Carson is the moral
and
spiritual leader of the GOP
Stewart:
Carson is great surgeon
but
his campaign is in disarray
Bai:
it's not organizational problem
Jones:
the person he needs to fire
is Ben Carson
Raddatz:
that would really shake
his campaign up
Jones:
he's a narcissist – no he
takes
no personal responsibility
Castellanos:
that's not fair – he's not a
narcissist
he just thinks America needs
a
total moral renewal and he's the one to do it
[
break ]
Vega:
omg a year ago Hillary Clinton was
leading
but now an old socialist and a
game
show host threaten her
Vega:
Sanders draws big crowds!
Vega:
and now former friend Donald
Trump
attacks Hillary and Bill Clinton too
Vega:
Bill Clinton is unleashed in New
Hampshire
but Sanders is from New England
[
break ]
Raddatz:
welcome Bernie Sanders
Sanders:
it's great to be here Maggie
Raddatz:
you're too much of a political insider
Sanders:
thats crazy – I've taken
on
every special interest there is!
Raddatz:
perhaps
Sanders:
the whole system is corrupt Martha!
Raddatz:
you've been saying this 25
years
and nothing has changed
Sanders:
but now the middle class are
finally
fed up and they won't take it anymore
Raddatz:
but Clinton is leading in Iowa
Sanders:
I'm getting huge
crowds there Martha
Raddatz:
that's nice
Sanders:
people are sick of establishment
economics
and a corrupt campaign finance system!
Raddatz:
is Bill Clinton's sex life fair game?
Sanders:
no it's a stupid question Martha
Raddatz:
all right then
Sanders:
climate change is not a hoax
and
we need a higher minimum wage!
Raddatz:
you called Trump a pathological liar
Sanders:
well he is
Raddatz:
but that's mean
Sanders:
American Muslims didn't
celebrate
after 9/11
Raddatz:
I suppose not
Raddatz:
Obama will require gun background
checks
but isn't that very divisive?
Sanders:
well I wish we could get bipartisan
consensus
through Congress but we can't
Raddatz:
that's true
Sanders:
but there is a national consensus
that
we should have background checks
so
aren't the GOP the ones being divisive?
Raddatz:
you just blew my mind
Raddatz:
you favor air strikes in Iraq
Sanders:
yes but only with Muslim troops
volunteering
to do the actual fighting
Raddatz:
well good luck with that
Sanders:
thanks Mandy
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