Sunday, September 27, 2015

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – September 27, 2015

Host: Martha Raddatz
Ben Carson
Newt Gingrich
Robert Costa
Matthew Dowd
Donna Brazile
Bill Kristol

Raddatz: OMG in a stunning development
Donald Trump leads in the polls but 
by not as much!

Raddatz: oh wow Ben Carson
has almost caught up!

Raddatz: Carly Fiorina way behind
but she's surging!

Raddatz: and Bernie Sanders is
within seven points of Clinton!

Raddatz: and I almost forgot
John Boehner quit!

Boehner: hell no!

Tea party: hell no John
Boehner has to go!

Boehner: fuck this shit

Conservatives: Yaaay!

Karl: everyone hates the GOP
leaders in Washington

Karl: Boehner wanted a Pope to visit
Congress for 20 years and when he
finally got one he said 'I'm outta here'

Boehner: I just woke up and said 
'today's the day'

Karl: he seems positively relieved

Boeher: zip-a-dee-do-dah
what a wonderful day!

Raddatz: welcome Dr Carson

Carson: hi Martha

Raddatz: is it good that
John Boehner is leaving?

Carson: he was a great
guy but also a loser

Raddatz: you think he worked
with Democrats too much

Carson: it's time to move on
to someone really destructive

Raddatz: you are tied with Donald Trump

Carson: the American people are thinking
for themselves and will get us off the
inevitable path of total destruction we are on

Raddatz: you say immigrants are from
hardened criminals from Iraq and Syria
and Russia – is there any evidence for that?

Carson: Obama's government says they're
not terrorists but that's what they would say

Raddatz: is the federal government
working against the American people?

Carson: yes Obama releases murderers
into our country – what is wrong with him?

Raddatz: you said Islam is not 
consistent with the Constitution

Carson: no I said all religious 
people must renounce their 
religion except Christians

Raddatz: no you said a Muslim can't be President

Carson: Islam and sharia are crazy
what with the fatwas and such

Raddatz: I see

Carson: they oppose the rights of gays
which are enshrined in our Constitution!

Raddatz: you say we can't take Syria
refugees because they might be terrorists

Carson: that's just common sense

Raddatz: should religion be probable
cause to execute a search warrant

Carson: maybe

Raddatz: you want a large 
cyber attack on China

Carson: right - we cant just sit 
around and do nothing!

Raddatz: okay then

Carson: also we need to be strong
and control outer space

Raddatz: did Kanye West call you?

Carson: yes I was extremely impressed
with his business acumen and
I was hoping he might write music
that help women learn their value

Raddatz: would support Kanye
for President in 2020?

Carson: why the hell not

Raddatz: thanks for coming Doc

Carson: you too Mia

[ break ]

Raddatz: Newt you saw Boehner recently –
did you know he was going to resign?

Gingrich: no but in retrospect it was perfect
he's a devout catholic and meeting 
the Pope was the best he could hope 
to achieve in this life

Raddatz: you also quit Congress like he did

Gingrich: we both faced an angry minority
which threatened utter chaos

Raddatz: charming base you've got there

Gingrich: even if Boehner won the
fight anyone who supported him
would face a vicious primary

Raddatz: what led to this level 
of irrational anger?

Gingrich: everyone loves an outsider –
you have all the righteousness and
none of the responsibility

Raddatz: good point

Gingrich: this is the wrong time 
for someone like Boehner – 
extreme but not insane

Raddatz: who is going to win the election?

Gingrich: we're definitely going to the
Presidency with Trump or Carson or Fiorina

Raddatz: you're joking right

Gingrich: no I'm perfectly serious

Raddatz: all right then

[ break ]

Raddatz: Boehner quit! Will this cause chaos?

Kristol: chaos is a ladder

Costa: Boehner will work with Obama
and then flee the city ahead of tea
party pitchforks and torches

Brazile: the Republicans are in total disarray

Dowd: the GOP are upset that
are fewer white people in America

Kristol: not fair!

Costa: they want Boehner to be 
more aggressive

Brazile: but they don't have the votes!

Kristol: Boehner is weak unlike 
Margaret Thatcher

Dowd: the Pope Francis effect 
will destroy Donald Trump

Raddatz: it's stunning that 
Carson is catching Trump

Costa: Trump isn't going anywhere

Kristol: 52% of primary voters want
someone who have never held elected
office before – that's amazing

Brazile: Donald Trump talks 
loud and says nothing!

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