Sunday, April 27, 2014

This Week with George Stephanopoulos – April 27, 2014

Terry Moran
Jon Karl
Pierre Thomas
Jeff Zeleny
Cardinal Dolan
Stephen A. Smith
Jeh Johnson – Secretary of Homeland Security
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA)

Stephanopoulos: wow two living popes
are going to canonize two other popes

Moran: it's a potpourri of popery here in Rome

Stephanopoulos: good one terry

Moran: Francis got in his popemobile
and electrified the crowd

Stephanopoulos: accidents happen

Moran: this has never happened in 2,000 years

Dolan: people love popes and they love saints

Moran: John XXIII and JPII were
media-savvy popes

Stephanopoulos: right

Moran: but John was a big liberal
and John Paul was conservative

Dolan: Francis is uniting the two factions
by making them both Saints

Moran: but some people are upset 
because Pope John Paul II didn't 
do enough on the abuse scandal

Dolan: the best saints are sinners

Stephanopoulos: now onto the 
crisis in Ukraine

Karl: President Obama did 
you misjudge Putin?

Obama: Putin is not a stupid man!

Karl: but sanctions might not work, loser!

Obama: there are no guarantees in life Jon
except death and taxes and stupid
questions from the White House press corps

Karl: Obama is going after Putin's
billionaires and Europe isn't interested

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: OMG the owner of the
L.A. Clippers doesn't want his girlfriend
to hang out with black people

Obama: damn ignorant folk!

Karl: Obama knows basketball 
and black people!

Smith: there could be a heavy fine
but that won't be enough

Stephanopoulos: whoa

Smith: the other owners may 
try to force him out

Stephanopoulos: could players 
boycott the game

Smith: yes but this is their job and
their dream is to win an NBA title

Stephanopoulos: good point

Smith: I have many good friends
in the LA Clippers and they
are appalled and alarmed

Stephanopoulos: indeed

Smith: they are offended but
they will do their jobs today

[ break ]

Stephanopoulos: our man Pierre talked
to the head of homeland security

Thomas: where you on Sept. 11, 2001?

Johnson: I was looking out a
window and saw the second plane hit

Thomas: yikes

Thomas: every day you get a morning
briefing on how terrorists are trying to kill us

Johnson: it's damn scary Pierre

Thomas: right now you are tracking
two bomb threats and restaurant explosion

Johnson: you see what I mean

Thomas: you look at terrorists, shooters, 
avalanches, tornadoes, rain, hail,
fog, and cyber threats

Johnson: we look at everything

Thomas: how did a teenager sneak
in the wheel well of a plane

Johnson: we have no idea Pierre

Thomas: what about all these 
mass shootings?

Johnson: they are increasing 
and it's troubling

Thomas: what do we do about it?

Johnson: we need solutions

Thomas: what's priority number one?

Johnson: toothpaste bombs

Thomas: that's terrifying

Johnson: it's cresting

Thomas: what else?

Johnson: lunatics from Syria
coming to America to kill you

Thomas: are they here now?

Johnson: yes they are

Thomas: what about al-qaeda?

Johnson: they are still trying to get us too

Thomas: what else should I be terrified by?

Johnson: just regular terrorists
like the Boston bombers

Thomas: god it never ends

Thomas: Obama asked you come
up with a more humane deportation policy

Johnson: we need to respect
the sanctity of the family unit

Thomas: Republicans are mad
that you are not deporting enough

Johnson: well that's nuts – I deport
1,000 children before breakfast

Stephanopoulos: what's all this about
Syrians coming to kill us?

Thomas: prepare for a wave 
of attacks George!

Stephanopoulos: oh my god

Zeleny: Elizabeth Warren has only
been a Senator for a year and she's
got a wave of supporters everywhere

Supporter: she's awesome

Zeleny: why can't she run for President?

Expert: because Hillary

Zeleny: The left is looking for a fiery populist

Stephanopoulos: wow

Stephanopoulos: others say
the ideas will Democrats

Stephanopoulos: what are your ideas?

Warren: Washington works well for
those with armies of lobbyists –
I'm trying to level the playing field

Stephanopoulos: please bash Obama for me

Warren: I wanted to be tougher on
Wall Street but Obama did create the CFPB

Stephanopoulos: but the CFPB isn't 
doing anything

Warren: bullshit Stephy – it's already
gotten $3 billion for consumers

Stephanopoulos: you disappoint me Liz

Stephanopoulos: is Hillary Clinton 
your candidate?

Warren: she's terrific

Stephanopoulos: you bashed Hillary for
being too tight with Wall street after
she became a Senator from New York

Warren: yeah no kidding

Stephanopoulos: so please bash 
Hillary for me

Warren: we know what happened –
Reagan gave Wall Street carte blanche,
they crashed the economy and got
bailed out and now they strut around
Washington like they own the place

Stephanopoulos: you're not 
bashing Hillary Clinton

Warren: I'm going to keep fighting
for my ideas George!

Stephanopoulos: look either bash Hillary
or we're moving on

Warren: whatever Stephy

Stephanopoulos: you can't work with
anyone on Capitol Hill

Warren: not true – I'm working with
Maria Cantwell and Angus King

Stephanopoulos: you were a Republican 
in the 1990s and then you left 

Warren: because I thought they were
actually fiscal conservatives –
now they only defend destructive
big corporations

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