Meet The Press – May 12, 2013

Guests:

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA)

Amb. Thomas Pickering

Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-CA)

Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL)

David Brooks
Katty Kay 

Wes Moore  

Gregory: OMG Obama is under fire

over the IRS and Benghazi!

Audience: OMG

Gregory: Darrell is Obama hiding something?

Issa: why did they have inadequate security

and did they cover up terrorism?

Gregory: how do you answer the charge 

that Weekly Standard reports that Obama 

covered up terrorism?

Issa: darn right he did

Gregory: didn't the CIA have the final word?

Issa: no because the White House

ordered them around

Gregory: can't the CIA stand up for itself?

Issa: no because Ambassador Stevens said

“we're under attack” which is code for 

“Obama is a liar”

Gregory: obviously it was an attack because

people were killed – wasn't there confusion

amid the fog of war?

Issa: no because the President of Libya is a

wonderful man who always tells the truth

Gregory: you think the White House bullied

the CIA into lying about what happened?

Issa: an official lied on a Sunday talk show!

Gregory: what was the lie?

Issa: they covered up the fact that
an attack happened!

Gregory: well of course an attack
happened – people were killed

Issa: well then they covered up the fact

that more help could have arrived

Gregory: but there's no evidence that's true

Issa: well then they covered up the fact that

the attack wasn't motivated by a movie

Gregory: but that wasn't clear at first

Issa: well then Gregory Hicks should allowed 

to see a secret report and I will subpoena

Ambassador Pickering

Gregory: he wanted to testify under oath

and you wouldn't let him

Issa: I never stole that car!

Gregory: okay – George Bush says he never

sent e-mails because he didn't want

Congress to look at them

Issa: this isn't partisan - you must never 

lie on a Sunday Talk Show!

Gregory: I'm totally with you Darrell

Issa: you can never change the 

Holy Talking Points!

Gregory: why is Hillary is a target?

Issa: Hillary Clinton is not a target

Gregory: you don't hold Obama and Clinton

responsible for Benghazi?

Issa: well of course they should both

be impeached – they didn't protect an

embassy before it was attacked

Gregory: like when all those consulates 

and embassies were attacked when 

Bush was President?

Issa: ha ha – good one Fluffy

Gregory: Republicans are raising money

off Benghazi - aren't you overreaching?

Issa: I failed to investigate Bush properly

and I am going atone for it by attacking Obama

Gregory: there were many attacks on embassies

when Bush was President - isn't it Congress' 

job to protect embassies?

Issa: we can only cut funding – it's up
to Obama to make it work

Gregory: that makes sense

Issa: Obama needs to learn from Bush's failures

and I'm outraged by his failure to do so

Gregory: please continue

Issa: Benghazi Benghazi Benghazi

Gregory: do we need a special committee

like Watergate or Iran-Contra?

Issa: whoa whoa whoa – I'm the star here

Gregory: okay Darrell

Issa: Ambassador Pickering refused
to appear before our committee

Picketring : that's not true!

Issa: well he only told us the day before 

the hearing and by then it was too 

late because had we only ordered enough 

snacks for three witnesses

Gregory: why didn't you recommend 

Hillary Clinton be impeached because 

the consulate was not defended?

Pickering: I can't believe I have to sit

here with this lying weasel

Gregory: that hurts

Pickering: I was talking about Darrell Issa

Gregory: well that's okay

Pickering: Admiral Mullen and General 

Dempsey all agreed no military help 

would have been available

Gregory: well that's not good either

Pickering: that's true – but we interviewed

everyone who was there and wrote a very

comprehensive report

Issa: Congress has an obligation to have

dozens of hearings on this issue

Pickering: from the man with arson as a hobby

Issa: this could have gone on for 444 days!

Gregory: that would have been amazing

Pickering: dare to dream

Gregory: was your report thorough enough?

Pickering: yes – and we recommended

that two people be fired

Gregory: Jay Carney said there was only 

one change to the talking points

Pickering: that's sort of true

Gregory: the IRS has apologized for

going after the Tea Party

Issa: let's not worry too much about it

and just make sure it doesn't happen again

Gregory: it sounds like you don't want

too much scrutiny of these tax-exempt groups

Issa: no comment Fluffy

[ break ]

Gregory: Senator didn't Obama cover up the fact

that U.S. personnel were murdered because

people didn't use the word “terrorism”

enough except for Obama who did

Feinstein: that is so stupid

Gregory: nevertheless I am asking

Feinstein: it was a very unfortunate incident

Gregory: that Sacred Holy Talking Points were

changed not to include the magic incantation “Terrorism”

Feinstein: when Talking Points are passed

from one organization to another of course

they are going to be edited

Gregory: isn't that a scandal?

Feinstein: yes - they used the word “Extremist”

which is not as Magickal as “Terrorist”

Gregory: the pivotal moment came when McCain

appeared on Meet The Press to attack the

President who beat him in 2008

Feinstein: he needs to get over 2008 –

he lost to the young Kenyan

Gregory: Rand Paul says Hillary Clinton can't

be President because of Benghazi

Feinstein: well he's a fucking moron

Gregory: I guess we have to talk about something

else beside Benghazi – so immigration blah blah

Feinstein: we've doubled the Border Patrol

and built 350 miles of fence!

Gregory: sweet

Feinstein: we have drones, camera, dogs,

cats, booby traps and a giant moat

with sharks with laser beams

Gregory: I love it

Feinstein: of course it still won't be enough

Gregory: panel let's talk about Benghazi 

some more

Brooks: I think the CIA had a secret facility there

and the State Dept. pushed back

Kinzinger: I'm just concerned that Obama hates

U.S. soldiers and likes to watch them die

Gregory: why does Obama hate soldiers?

Moore: we should definitely have more
investigations and stuff

Gregory: remember when troops were killed

in Beirut when Reagan was President?

Kay: the real concern is why there wasn't

enough security was in Benghazi

Gregory: what was the real scandal?

Feinstein: failure to use the magic word “Terrorism”

Gregory: why didn't he use that special word?

Feinstein: I don't know – I love saying

'terrorist' and 'terrorism' and 'terrorist attack'

Gregory: was failure to use the word political?

Feinstein: TERRORUS INCANTATUS

Gregory: the IRS targeted the Tea Party!

Feinstein: it's not good

Brooks: it looks bad so Obama needs

to invade Syria

Gregory: even men are being sexually

assaulted in the military!

Kay: it's very scary to have military

commanders in charge of prosecutions

Gregory: but you can't change the military

or we will be invaded by China

Moore: the U.S. military has been 

socially progressive in many ways but 

not when it comes to rape

Feinstein: abuse of soldiers has got to stop

Kinzinger: I would just like to say if it were

me I would always do the right thing

Gregory: you are nice and handsome

Kinzinger: thanks Fluffy

Gregory: the Freedom Tower is almost finished!

Brooks: it means a lot to the city to look and

see that inspiring erect spire

Gregory: I was with George W. Bush and

I know it means a lot to him and

me and the nation

Brooks: so well put David

Gregory: and that's another episode

of Meet The Press

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