Sunday, April 10, 2011

Meet The Press - April 10, 2011

David Plouffe - White House advisor
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Tim Shriver - CEO Special Olympics
Helene Cooper - New York Times
Jim Cramer - CNBC
Chuck Todd - NBC news
Gregory: wow Congress and Obama agreed
to cut $38.5 billion!

Plouffe: woo hoo

Gregory: Obama is a bad man

Plouffe: I disagree - this is what divided
government looks like

Gregory: but Obama is terrible

Plouffe: this ridiculous fight is the model
for deals going forward

Gregory: but Obama is not good

Plouffe: let’s move on Fluffy

Gregory: Congressional democrats are
also bad people

Plouffe: we need to invest in cancer research,
Head Start and killer drones

Gregory: what will Obama give the Republicans in exchange for not crashing the U.S. economy

Plouffe: it would be a total catastrophe
if we don’t raise the debt limit

Gregory: it’s Armageddon!

Plouffe: it’s a big game of chicken

Gregory: Obama has failed to cut Medicare
unlike the courageous Paul Ryan

Plouffe: Obama is going cut a trillion dollars in spending

Gregory: but Obama didn’t propose the debt commission’s recommendations

Plouffe: actually he did

Gregory: not Alan Simpson’s Puppy Killing Act
of 2010

Plouffe: we have divided government so we may compromise and just kill some household pets

Gregory: you have to cut Medicare and Medicaid!

Plouffe: I do?

Gregory: you HAVE to!!!

Plouffe: Calm down Fluffy

Gregory: any chance Paul Ryan’s plan get passed

Plouffe: giving $200,000 tax cut and

Gregory: will you raise taxes on everyone?

Plouffe: on the rich

Gregory: you should raise taxes on those
selfish middle classes

Plouffe: how about we not do that?

Gregory: is that a re-election pledge?

Plouffe: we’ve cut taxes consistently

Gregory: Obama promised to close Gitmo and instead KSM will go before a military tribunal

Plouffe: 10 years after 9/11 the guy still hasn’t
been put on trial and now we will

[ break ]

Gregory: did the Republicans almost shut down
the government?

Ryan: hell yeah!

Gregory: will there be a Budgetgeddon?

Ryan: we won’t raise the debt ceiling without
cutting a trillion dollars first

Gregory: like what?

Ryan: like really really big cuts

Gregory: Mark McKinnon said you will either
save America or destroy it

Ryan: now that a Democrat is President we must
cut the debt

Gregory: you are an idealist but your plan is not realistic

Ryan: the high debt requires us to cut taxes

Gregory: you would end Medicare, reverse Medicaid and cut taxes for the rich

Ryan: boo-yah

Gregory: Alan Simpson thinks you are cruel to the weak and he eats kittens for breakfast

Ryan: also I don’t address health care costs

Gregory: right I forgot

Ryan: look rich people are overtaxed - do you know how much foie gras costs??

Gregory: interesting

Ryan: rich people need your tax money
to make jobs!

Gregory: that’s convenient

Ryan: we’re competing against India and China to woo Job Creators

Gregory: you would cut aid for the poor and disabled

Ryan: Medicare was designed for people who died
at age 60 and we need to return to that

Gregory: I see

Ryan: we want to give the poor and old people the power to negotiate with their doctors for cheaper surgeries

Gregory: that doesn’t sound too awesome for
old people

Ryan: no it’s “personalized” - you can craft you own Death Panel

Gregory: what about dealing with tax reform first?

Ryan: maybe Obama will meet us halfway and slash Social Security instead

Gregory: your plan is blatantly ideological

Ryan: punishing old people will give our children
a debt-free nation

Gregory: I can’t help notice that no one
likes your plan

Ryan: my plan will pass the GOP caucus

Gregory: what about the GOP Presidential candidates?

Ryan: I’ve heard they all secretly love it

[ break ]

Gregory: OMG this budget crisis makes elected officials looks bad!

Todd: we almost shut the government down over stale culture wars

Cooper: it went right down to the last moment -
it was scary!

Gregory: Obama had a photo-op showing that
he protected the Washington monument from a lack of visitors!

Shriver: Honestly most non-geek Americans were not awake and twittering at midnight Friday

Audience: who us

Cramer: Obama is a job-killing socialist and also the economy is rapidly turning around

Gregory: but but but Obama is a bad President

Cramer: we must fear the IMF

Gregory: the GOP is driving the debate

Todd: Boehner used Planned Parenthood to squeeze another $38 billion in cuts

Gregory: the Tea Party don’t want to legislate

Shriver: I respect the Tea Party for be willing to lose - but what do they want to build?

Gregory: Charlie Cook says cutting Medicare
is suicidal

Cramer: Interest rates are going to go up dramatically in July if we don’t cut Medicaid

Cooper: Obama is so far above the fray he can he see the roofs of our planes as they fly off

Gregory: Paul Ryan put out a brave plan to
privatize Medicare

Todd: it’s like Gollum’s ring - it will destroy anyone who touches it

Gregory: Whether Vain endorsed it

Todd: the Tea Party are like the Sith - you must confront the Tea Party without becoming one of them

Gregory: what’s the key to 2012

Todd: Ohio and Hispanics

Shriver: people are angry about lack of jobs, fairness and shared larger purpose

Gregory: What is the Unforseen

Cramer: Obama must scare people that they will lose their job if we don’t cut the debt

Brokaw: Should Qadaffi leave?

Prince Saud: he’s a whackjob

Brokaw: Exile?

Saud: on Main Street

Cooper: Libya is they key to the Presidential election in 2012

Gregory: Chaos is so much fun

Todd: the Middle East is consuming the
White House

Cooper: everytime America thinks we’re out we
get pulled back in

Gregory: and that’s Meet the Press


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