Dear Sergeant Crowley,
You gotta understand,
It's just our bringing up-ly
That get us out of hand!
Our mothers all are negroes
Our fathers all are black
Golly, naturally we talk back!!
All: They Talk Back!
Gee, Officer Crowley, we're very upset;
We never had the teaching that
every child oughta get
We really don't hate whitey
We salute the President
We're just not that subservient!
All: Not That Subservient!
Gee, Officer Crowley, it's really a shame,
Gates don't need handcuffs,
the guy walks with a cane
You could've used a taser
or maybe sprayed some mace
The Prof just doesn't know his place!
All: Know His Place!
Gee, Officer Crowley
People call you a racist, you're in the culture war
Just like Obama, Alito and Sotomayor
I hope you've learned a lesson
Now that you and Barack are mates
Don't fuck with Henry Louis Gates!
All: Don't Fuck With Henry Louis Gates!
All: Just....Don't.. Fuck... With Heeeenry Looouis Gaaaaates!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
President Barack Obama Press Conference - July 22, 2009
President Barack Obama Press Conference
July 22, 2009
***************************
Obama: hello American people you all know if we don’t enact health care reform we are totally fucked in a major way - now I’ll take questions from the idiots called the white house press corps
AP: How do you plan to pay for this and
what’s your dealbreaker?
Obama: hey dude right now we’re all paying for it - at this rate we won’t be able to afford to iPhones, cable tv, or to invade every tiny little country that pisses off
AP: oh no
Obama: yeah! so that’s 2/3 of the cost right there
AP: and the rest?
Obama: remove tax deductionsbut I don’t
foreclose other options
AP: oh no don’t say foreclose
Obama: hey we could raise taxes on millionaires
White House Press corps: oh shit
Obama: or eliminate waste
White House Press corps: oh yeah much better
Obama: I’m am the motherfucking president and let me tell you - just like the economy - the health care system I inherited from George W. Bush really fucking sucks
White House Press corps: oh poo
Obama: we can do this but we’ve got to make some major fucking changes - we need new computers, fewer tests and better goddamm lollipops!
White House Press corps: he’s good
Obama: people hate Washington DC but I’m telling you people the cost of doing nothing is worse - yo Two First Names David Alexander!
Reuters: what’s the rush Bammy
Obama: people are fucking dyin on me!
Reuters: then you bite the bullet and take
them to a fucking hospital
Obama: you have set deadlines in this town or nothing ever fucking happens - at this rate I’m going to have promise a mushroom cloud over Arlington to wake you fuckers up!
Reuters: that iz scary
Obama: you’re damm right it is!
Obama: C-Todd let’s all get a load of your big brain
Todd: how many people will you leave uninsured and will they deserve it?
Obama: good one toddster - look I want to cover almost everyone - but not that cheerleader on Heroes - she keeps jumping in front of a fucking bus and running into fire and that shit just ain’t right!
Todd: woo hoo NBC
Obama: zip it Toddy
Todd: woo
Obama: the average American is paying hidden costs to pay for people who get their primary treatment in the fucking ER - that is just stupid
Todd: why can’t you get all the blue dog Democrats on board big guy?
Obama: hey I float about the fucking fray - I love me some Chuck Grassley - sure he’s a major doofus but at least he’s not off hiking the Applachian Trail
of Stupidity
Todd: good one Barack
Obama: of course it was goatee boy - Tap Dancer!
Tapper: Mr. President will we be sacrificing the lives of our old people and will any of them not be celebrities?
Obama: they’re going to have to give up the endless joy of mammograms and that third MRI and of course the testicle squeezing
Tapper: [ twittering ] i hate teh ball krushing
Obama: hey dude stop twittering for a goddamm second
Tapper: [ twittering ] prez sayz dood no twittering
Obama: I get that people are worried about all the trillions of debt - debt I inherited from Stupid I might mention - also Bush lost 700,000 jobs and trillions
in U.S. wealth
Tapper: [ twittering ] Bam says Stupid screwd me
Obama: so I care about the debt and I cut it by 2 trillion by for example getting rid of a fighter jet that doesn’t fly in the motherfucking rain
F-22 Pilot: [ pops umbrella ] uh oh
Obama: Computer Chip!
Reid: specifically what kind of human sacrifice are you suggesting for Medicare for example may
I suggest my mother-in-law
Obama: that’s cold Chocolate Chip
Reid: heh heh
Obama: I just got Big Pharma to give me $80 billion for old people - Kristy!
Parsons: why all the secrecy Bam
Obama: hey you can stand outside the white house and see who goes in and out if you really want
Parson: why not put it on C-SPAN
Obama: we did - a network no one but crazy shut-ins in the perfect place to hide!
Q: Will you crack down on Wall Street criminals
Obama: it was Stupid who gave all the money to the Bankster Crooks - now as it turns out the experts said we had to give free money to criminals who created a near Depression to stave off an actual Depression
Q: that is awesomely convenient
Obama: wait there’s more - now they’re all getting rich off the money we gave them which proves
we were right!
Q: Do any of them drive Cadillacs like Reagan’s welfare mother
Obama: hell if I know - all I know is the lesson we’ve taught them is that whenever they get in trouble
for their gambling Uncle Sam will be there to bail them out
Q: so what’s the solution?
Obama: public shaming - they must sit in the table near the kitchen at Le Cirque
Bankster: oh the horror
Cleveland: Will you guarantee people will actually be covered once the GOP gets hold of this
1,000 page bill?
Obama: that’s the beauty of the plan - health insurers must compete and provide good, honest, non-profit driven-care or go out of business
Insurers: oh shit we’re fucked
Obama: right now health insurers are getting super-rich fucking over the American people
which is nice for them but kind of fucking sucks
for the rest of us
Audience: he’s got a point
Obama: dammit people right now the Insurer comes between you and your doctor - and getting rich by denying care when somebody gets sick is just fucking wrong!
Cleveland: will enroll in same public plan?
Obama: I’ve got the best health care in the world - I got tiger woods’ doctor dammit
Q: why are you going to Cleveland - did you lose
a bet or something?
Obama: read the Mayo Clinic blog - they
tweeted that they love me
Q: dood can a black man enter his own fucking house anymore?
Obama: I know very little about this incident with Skip Gates except every damm little fucking tiny detail
Audience: I see
Obama: hell I’ve been stopped by the Secret Service three times trying to enter the fucking White House
Audience: wow
Obama: the Cambridge police acted stupidly for arresting a brother for entering his own motherfucking house - I mean all this was all
covered in the movie Soul Man for christ’s sake
C Thomas Howell: amen bro - catch me on Southland
Q: I’m black and now I’m going to back in my White House and watch America's Got Talent and make sweet love to my beautiful black wife in the motherfucking Lincoln bedroom
good night white fuckers!
By Culture of Truth
**********************
July 22, 2009
***************************
Obama: hello American people you all know if we don’t enact health care reform we are totally fucked in a major way - now I’ll take questions from the idiots called the white house press corps
AP: How do you plan to pay for this and
what’s your dealbreaker?
Obama: hey dude right now we’re all paying for it - at this rate we won’t be able to afford to iPhones, cable tv, or to invade every tiny little country that pisses off
AP: oh no
Obama: yeah! so that’s 2/3 of the cost right there
AP: and the rest?
Obama: remove tax deductionsbut I don’t
foreclose other options
AP: oh no don’t say foreclose
Obama: hey we could raise taxes on millionaires
White House Press corps: oh shit
Obama: or eliminate waste
White House Press corps: oh yeah much better
Obama: I’m am the motherfucking president and let me tell you - just like the economy - the health care system I inherited from George W. Bush really fucking sucks
White House Press corps: oh poo
Obama: we can do this but we’ve got to make some major fucking changes - we need new computers, fewer tests and better goddamm lollipops!
White House Press corps: he’s good
Obama: people hate Washington DC but I’m telling you people the cost of doing nothing is worse - yo Two First Names David Alexander!
Reuters: what’s the rush Bammy
Obama: people are fucking dyin on me!
Reuters: then you bite the bullet and take
them to a fucking hospital
Obama: you have set deadlines in this town or nothing ever fucking happens - at this rate I’m going to have promise a mushroom cloud over Arlington to wake you fuckers up!
Reuters: that iz scary
Obama: you’re damm right it is!
Obama: C-Todd let’s all get a load of your big brain
Todd: how many people will you leave uninsured and will they deserve it?
Obama: good one toddster - look I want to cover almost everyone - but not that cheerleader on Heroes - she keeps jumping in front of a fucking bus and running into fire and that shit just ain’t right!
Todd: woo hoo NBC
Obama: zip it Toddy
Todd: woo
Obama: the average American is paying hidden costs to pay for people who get their primary treatment in the fucking ER - that is just stupid
Todd: why can’t you get all the blue dog Democrats on board big guy?
Obama: hey I float about the fucking fray - I love me some Chuck Grassley - sure he’s a major doofus but at least he’s not off hiking the Applachian Trail
of Stupidity
Todd: good one Barack
Obama: of course it was goatee boy - Tap Dancer!
Tapper: Mr. President will we be sacrificing the lives of our old people and will any of them not be celebrities?
Obama: they’re going to have to give up the endless joy of mammograms and that third MRI and of course the testicle squeezing
Tapper: [ twittering ] i hate teh ball krushing
Obama: hey dude stop twittering for a goddamm second
Tapper: [ twittering ] prez sayz dood no twittering
Obama: I get that people are worried about all the trillions of debt - debt I inherited from Stupid I might mention - also Bush lost 700,000 jobs and trillions
in U.S. wealth
Tapper: [ twittering ] Bam says Stupid screwd me
Obama: so I care about the debt and I cut it by 2 trillion by for example getting rid of a fighter jet that doesn’t fly in the motherfucking rain
F-22 Pilot: [ pops umbrella ] uh oh
Obama: Computer Chip!
Reid: specifically what kind of human sacrifice are you suggesting for Medicare for example may
I suggest my mother-in-law
Obama: that’s cold Chocolate Chip
Reid: heh heh
Obama: I just got Big Pharma to give me $80 billion for old people - Kristy!
Parsons: why all the secrecy Bam
Obama: hey you can stand outside the white house and see who goes in and out if you really want
Parson: why not put it on C-SPAN
Obama: we did - a network no one but crazy shut-ins in the perfect place to hide!
Q: Will you crack down on Wall Street criminals
Obama: it was Stupid who gave all the money to the Bankster Crooks - now as it turns out the experts said we had to give free money to criminals who created a near Depression to stave off an actual Depression
Q: that is awesomely convenient
Obama: wait there’s more - now they’re all getting rich off the money we gave them which proves
we were right!
Q: Do any of them drive Cadillacs like Reagan’s welfare mother
Obama: hell if I know - all I know is the lesson we’ve taught them is that whenever they get in trouble
for their gambling Uncle Sam will be there to bail them out
Q: so what’s the solution?
Obama: public shaming - they must sit in the table near the kitchen at Le Cirque
Bankster: oh the horror
Cleveland: Will you guarantee people will actually be covered once the GOP gets hold of this
1,000 page bill?
Obama: that’s the beauty of the plan - health insurers must compete and provide good, honest, non-profit driven-care or go out of business
Insurers: oh shit we’re fucked
Obama: right now health insurers are getting super-rich fucking over the American people
which is nice for them but kind of fucking sucks
for the rest of us
Audience: he’s got a point
Obama: dammit people right now the Insurer comes between you and your doctor - and getting rich by denying care when somebody gets sick is just fucking wrong!
Cleveland: will enroll in same public plan?
Obama: I’ve got the best health care in the world - I got tiger woods’ doctor dammit
Q: why are you going to Cleveland - did you lose
a bet or something?
Obama: read the Mayo Clinic blog - they
tweeted that they love me
Q: dood can a black man enter his own fucking house anymore?
Obama: I know very little about this incident with Skip Gates except every damm little fucking tiny detail
Audience: I see
Obama: hell I’ve been stopped by the Secret Service three times trying to enter the fucking White House
Audience: wow
Obama: the Cambridge police acted stupidly for arresting a brother for entering his own motherfucking house - I mean all this was all
covered in the movie Soul Man for christ’s sake
C Thomas Howell: amen bro - catch me on Southland
Q: I’m black and now I’m going to back in my White House and watch America's Got Talent and make sweet love to my beautiful black wife in the motherfucking Lincoln bedroom
good night white fuckers!
By Culture of Truth
**********************
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Meet The Press with Sec. Sebelius and Sen. McConnell - July 19, 2009
Meet The Press
Guests:
Sec. of HHS Kathleen Sebelius
Sen. Mitch McConell
**********************************
Gregory: welcome Katie - now let's talk health care
Sebelius: ok doofus
Gregory: the CBO says you will bankrupt America and take away tongue depressers
Sebelius: we're going to cut costs - like no more MRIs unless you're missing an major organ
Gregory: but but but you have to cut costs like how about not covering anyone
Sebelius: we plan to Greggers
Gregory: goddammit you said you are going to spend a trillion dollars but people will still get health care!
Sebelius: suddenly Republicans like you are worried about spending - funny how that works
Gregory: so this bill is unfinished?
Sebelius: more or less
Gregory: so the final word is - it's got to lower costs
Sebelius: yes but-
Gregory: lower costs!
Sebelius: but-
Gregory: costs!
Sebelius: and quality
Gregory: um what
Gregory: so you will cover everyone?
Sebelius: yes we hope so
Gregory: well who you would leave out?
Sebelius: if necessary the Irish
Gregory: isn't proof that Obama is a failure that Mitt Romney's plan in Massachusetts sucks?
Sebelius: no because he's a moron
Gregory: so how will you save money?
Sebelius: the public option will bring competition which will drive costs down
Gregory: but that's cheating by using efficiency to save money
Sebelius: why not
Gregory: that will kill poor little insurance companies
Sebelius: fuck em
Gregory: Obama keeps promising that you will get to keep your insurance but that's false because in a free market your employer can take it away!
Sebelius: that can already do that in the free market
Gregory: so Obama should nationalize the entire insurance market system
Sebelius: that makes no sense
Gregory: If Obama doesn’t have the government take over the market it will destroy the free market
Sebelius: I heard you a fucking moron
Gregory: will Obama take away my health care that's so scary
Sebelius: there's rationing right now dipshit
Gregory: some freshman democrat somewhere is concerned about taxes
Sebelius: oh boo fucking hoo
Gregory: well where does he stand on taxes?
Sebelius: if you recall Bush signed a drug bill without paying for it
Gregory: yes but he was such a cool guy he gave me a nickname
Sebelius: I’ll give you one fluffyhaid
Gregory: why not tax employer health benefits?
Sebelius: dude that would kill the little remaining free market we have
Gregory: why do want to tax only rich people?
Sebelius: they're all jerks like you David
Gregory: what's your deadline?
Sebelius: hey the AMA endorsed the plan
Gregory: why doesn't Obama just enact the bill?
Sebelius: he's not a member of Congress dumbass
Gregory: I'm scared about the pig flu
Sebelius: you need to calm down stupid - here take a pill
Gregory: [ gulp ]
twitters: awesome katie s gave me pillz
[ break ]
Gregory: So Mitch is the President going to pass a health reform bill by August?
McConnell: we’ve only been doing this since 1993 why the rush?
Gregory: that’s a good point
McConnell: suddenly the GOP are worried about the debt for the first time since 1980
Gregory: wow and it’s so expensive
McConnell: yes and Obama is going to pay for it by stealing from old people and small businesses
Gregory: that’s so sad
McConnell: plus Obama doesn’t even care that America is the best country in the world
[ waves foam We’re Number #1 finger ]
Gregory: liberals hate the U.S. don’t they
McConnell: they want to scrap the entire health care system and have all use leeches and trepanning
Gregory: ok but most people think the health care system completely sucks
McConnell: ah we have an awesome plan to fix the health care system
Gregory: what is it?
McConnell: tax cuts, wellness programs, and ending all malpractice lawsuits
Gregory: dude 47 million Americans don’t have health insurance
McConnell: true but the point is they all free incredibly inefficient health care
Gregory: Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor and makes more sense than you
McConnell: Government health care is unfair because it will be better and cheaper and that will put insurers out of business
Gregory: so what’s wrong with that
McConnell: some guy in Canada once died
Gregory: Jim DeMint is like Ivan Drago he must break Obama
McConnell: Greggers I will stand against a socialist hell
Gregory: was the stimulus too big or too small?
McConnell: the stimulus clearly failed so we should start enacting Republican policies which have a great track record
Gregory: why do oppose Sonia Sotomayor who is so adorable
McConnell: hey I love ethnic minorities I married one
Gregory: so why not
McConnell: she lets her hot Latina views obscure what should be her white male objectivity
Gregory: please bash Obama on Afghanistan
McConnell: no he’s irrationally kicking ass and I like that because he’s keep Americans safe from terrorists
Gregory: except for the American held hostage by terrorists
McConnell: um right
[ break ]
Gregory: To me the biggest issue is repeating GOP talking points - i mean, containing costs
Hardwood: we need to raise taxes on health care benefits cause suddenly the GOP loves raising taxes
Gregory: Obama is defensive isn't he
Gigot: well people love him but secretly the American people yearn for a right-wing dictator
Gregory: they want higher tax rates than France!
Gigot: i know Fluffers!
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
Oh. My. God!
Norris: Obama's all over place trying to solve problems - it's crazy!!
Gregory: dick is Obama a total failure?
Wolffe: he will be if he doesn't twist some arms like Lyndon Johnson
Norris: the public doesn't want this crazy rush to reform health care - they love the current system
Gigot: he's making a mistake of governing to the left
Gregory: so what should he do?
Gigot: give the poor tax credits and put John McCain in charge
Gregory: of course
Gregory: Let's talk about blueprint of returning my best friends the Republicans to power
Hardwood: McConnell is exactly right - suddenly spending and debt matters for the first time since 1981
Wolffe: um dudes Obama is popular even in Michigan
Gregory: that can't be right i hate Obama
Gigot: i can't believe he hasn't fixed all of Bush's mistakes - clearly we should elect more Republicans
Gregory: OMG the AP said after 4 weeks of not being in public and then being in public Hillary is too powerful and not powerful enough!!!
Norris: i gotta call bullshit on that Greggers
Hardwood: who gives a shit about this silly gossip
Gregory: she has a hidden agenda to take the Presidency away from Obama doesn't she
Wolffe: i heard you cheap gossip-trading dick
Gregory: Walter Cronkite was great I bet he often told LBJ or Nixon his show allows you to frame the conversation as you really want
Cronkite: don’t make me come up there and kick your ass
****************
Guests:
Sec. of HHS Kathleen Sebelius
Sen. Mitch McConell
**********************************
Gregory: welcome Katie - now let's talk health care
Sebelius: ok doofus
Gregory: the CBO says you will bankrupt America and take away tongue depressers
Sebelius: we're going to cut costs - like no more MRIs unless you're missing an major organ
Gregory: but but but you have to cut costs like how about not covering anyone
Sebelius: we plan to Greggers
Gregory: goddammit you said you are going to spend a trillion dollars but people will still get health care!
Sebelius: suddenly Republicans like you are worried about spending - funny how that works
Gregory: so this bill is unfinished?
Sebelius: more or less
Gregory: so the final word is - it's got to lower costs
Sebelius: yes but-
Gregory: lower costs!
Sebelius: but-
Gregory: costs!
Sebelius: and quality
Gregory: um what
Gregory: so you will cover everyone?
Sebelius: yes we hope so
Gregory: well who you would leave out?
Sebelius: if necessary the Irish
Gregory: isn't proof that Obama is a failure that Mitt Romney's plan in Massachusetts sucks?
Sebelius: no because he's a moron
Gregory: so how will you save money?
Sebelius: the public option will bring competition which will drive costs down
Gregory: but that's cheating by using efficiency to save money
Sebelius: why not
Gregory: that will kill poor little insurance companies
Sebelius: fuck em
Gregory: Obama keeps promising that you will get to keep your insurance but that's false because in a free market your employer can take it away!
Sebelius: that can already do that in the free market
Gregory: so Obama should nationalize the entire insurance market system
Sebelius: that makes no sense
Gregory: If Obama doesn’t have the government take over the market it will destroy the free market
Sebelius: I heard you a fucking moron
Gregory: will Obama take away my health care that's so scary
Sebelius: there's rationing right now dipshit
Gregory: some freshman democrat somewhere is concerned about taxes
Sebelius: oh boo fucking hoo
Gregory: well where does he stand on taxes?
Sebelius: if you recall Bush signed a drug bill without paying for it
Gregory: yes but he was such a cool guy he gave me a nickname
Sebelius: I’ll give you one fluffyhaid
Gregory: why not tax employer health benefits?
Sebelius: dude that would kill the little remaining free market we have
Gregory: why do want to tax only rich people?
Sebelius: they're all jerks like you David
Gregory: what's your deadline?
Sebelius: hey the AMA endorsed the plan
Gregory: why doesn't Obama just enact the bill?
Sebelius: he's not a member of Congress dumbass
Gregory: I'm scared about the pig flu
Sebelius: you need to calm down stupid - here take a pill
Gregory: [ gulp ]
twitters: awesome katie s gave me pillz
[ break ]
Gregory: So Mitch is the President going to pass a health reform bill by August?
McConnell: we’ve only been doing this since 1993 why the rush?
Gregory: that’s a good point
McConnell: suddenly the GOP are worried about the debt for the first time since 1980
Gregory: wow and it’s so expensive
McConnell: yes and Obama is going to pay for it by stealing from old people and small businesses
Gregory: that’s so sad
McConnell: plus Obama doesn’t even care that America is the best country in the world
[ waves foam We’re Number #1 finger ]
Gregory: liberals hate the U.S. don’t they
McConnell: they want to scrap the entire health care system and have all use leeches and trepanning
Gregory: ok but most people think the health care system completely sucks
McConnell: ah we have an awesome plan to fix the health care system
Gregory: what is it?
McConnell: tax cuts, wellness programs, and ending all malpractice lawsuits
Gregory: dude 47 million Americans don’t have health insurance
McConnell: true but the point is they all free incredibly inefficient health care
Gregory: Ted Kennedy has a brain tumor and makes more sense than you
McConnell: Government health care is unfair because it will be better and cheaper and that will put insurers out of business
Gregory: so what’s wrong with that
McConnell: some guy in Canada once died
Gregory: Jim DeMint is like Ivan Drago he must break Obama
McConnell: Greggers I will stand against a socialist hell
Gregory: was the stimulus too big or too small?
McConnell: the stimulus clearly failed so we should start enacting Republican policies which have a great track record
Gregory: why do oppose Sonia Sotomayor who is so adorable
McConnell: hey I love ethnic minorities I married one
Gregory: so why not
McConnell: she lets her hot Latina views obscure what should be her white male objectivity
Gregory: please bash Obama on Afghanistan
McConnell: no he’s irrationally kicking ass and I like that because he’s keep Americans safe from terrorists
Gregory: except for the American held hostage by terrorists
McConnell: um right
[ break ]
Gregory: To me the biggest issue is repeating GOP talking points - i mean, containing costs
Hardwood: we need to raise taxes on health care benefits cause suddenly the GOP loves raising taxes
Gregory: Obama is defensive isn't he
Gigot: well people love him but secretly the American people yearn for a right-wing dictator
Gregory: they want higher tax rates than France!
Gigot: i know Fluffers!
Gregory: [ high pitched voice ]
Oh. My. God!
Norris: Obama's all over place trying to solve problems - it's crazy!!
Gregory: dick is Obama a total failure?
Wolffe: he will be if he doesn't twist some arms like Lyndon Johnson
Norris: the public doesn't want this crazy rush to reform health care - they love the current system
Gigot: he's making a mistake of governing to the left
Gregory: so what should he do?
Gigot: give the poor tax credits and put John McCain in charge
Gregory: of course
Gregory: Let's talk about blueprint of returning my best friends the Republicans to power
Hardwood: McConnell is exactly right - suddenly spending and debt matters for the first time since 1981
Wolffe: um dudes Obama is popular even in Michigan
Gregory: that can't be right i hate Obama
Gigot: i can't believe he hasn't fixed all of Bush's mistakes - clearly we should elect more Republicans
Gregory: OMG the AP said after 4 weeks of not being in public and then being in public Hillary is too powerful and not powerful enough!!!
Norris: i gotta call bullshit on that Greggers
Hardwood: who gives a shit about this silly gossip
Gregory: she has a hidden agenda to take the Presidency away from Obama doesn't she
Wolffe: i heard you cheap gossip-trading dick
Gregory: Walter Cronkite was great I bet he often told LBJ or Nixon his show allows you to frame the conversation as you really want
Cronkite: don’t make me come up there and kick your ass
****************
The Chris Matthews Show - July 19, 2009
**********
Matthews: OMG Reforming health care is really expensive and suddenly since 1979 I'm worried about the debt again!
Brooks: they are going to raise taxes on little businesses higher than in hellish places like Spain and France!
Matthews: will they ram it through undemocratically or get David Broder's approval??
O'Donnell: they will ram it through - the bastards
Parker: they hate Democracy just because they have most of the votes
Brooks: unlike me Obama is totally out of touch with America
Page: you're an idiot
Matthews: but all the rich people will pay for the poor people
Brooks: i don't understand why Obama is letting Congress write a bill in Congress
Matthews: it’s so sad
Brooks: we have to ration health care but greedy unions gets free x-rays and they don't want to give it up even if destroys America
O'Donnell: Republicans say if we rush this there will be unintended consequences like they will lose votes
Brooks: 7 Senators will destroy this bill which is the very essence of democracy
O'Donnell: taxes are bad
Matthews: why is Obama raising taxes on the middle class to 57%???
Page: you are an idiot also
Matthews: so will Obama reform the U.S. health care system by the war on christmas?
Panel: yes which is so very sad
Page: yes but Rush Limbaugh is still fat
Brooks: but still a handsome man
Matthews: ha ha let me show another saturday night live skit ha ha
Brooks: ha
O'Donnell: ha
Parker: ha
Page: folks welcome to idiot america
Matthews: ha ha what if Obama and Clinton didn't get along hee hee!?!
Hillary Clinton: we are kicking ass and taking names
Matthews: who the winner in this deal with Barack and Hillary?
Brooks: clearly Obama
Matthews: no no no you have to say Hillary
Brooks: they're both fine
Matthews: no they're bickering hee hee
Parker: Obama just loves everyone and Hillary smacks the baddies around
O'Donnell: she's his hammer and everything looks like something she wants to nail
Brooks: she's has better political instincts like on Iran she and Biden wanted to say grandstanding shit
Matthews: isn’t her role make a deal with her many Israel friends
Page: they are both smarter than anyone on this panel
Matthews: [looks down] my shoes are on the wrong feet
Matthews: omg the President is black!
Page: Obama went to the NAACP but he wasn't going to go Yankee stadium - that's too black
Parker: good news borrowers are gearing up to create another bubble!!
Brooks: in the health plan there are taxes with no benefits in 2012 and looks bad
Matthews: Is Sarah Palin is going to be the next President?
Matthews: can she be the nominee in 2012?
Parker: um no
Page: she's fine until she runs against a sentient human
Brooks: of course she can she's adorable
O'Donnell: hell why not
Matthews: ha!
*********************************
Matthews: OMG Reforming health care is really expensive and suddenly since 1979 I'm worried about the debt again!
Brooks: they are going to raise taxes on little businesses higher than in hellish places like Spain and France!
Matthews: will they ram it through undemocratically or get David Broder's approval??
O'Donnell: they will ram it through - the bastards
Parker: they hate Democracy just because they have most of the votes
Brooks: unlike me Obama is totally out of touch with America
Page: you're an idiot
Matthews: but all the rich people will pay for the poor people
Brooks: i don't understand why Obama is letting Congress write a bill in Congress
Matthews: it’s so sad
Brooks: we have to ration health care but greedy unions gets free x-rays and they don't want to give it up even if destroys America
O'Donnell: Republicans say if we rush this there will be unintended consequences like they will lose votes
Brooks: 7 Senators will destroy this bill which is the very essence of democracy
O'Donnell: taxes are bad
Matthews: why is Obama raising taxes on the middle class to 57%???
Page: you are an idiot also
Matthews: so will Obama reform the U.S. health care system by the war on christmas?
Panel: yes which is so very sad
Page: yes but Rush Limbaugh is still fat
Brooks: but still a handsome man
Matthews: ha ha let me show another saturday night live skit ha ha
Brooks: ha
O'Donnell: ha
Parker: ha
Page: folks welcome to idiot america
Matthews: ha ha what if Obama and Clinton didn't get along hee hee!?!
Hillary Clinton: we are kicking ass and taking names
Matthews: who the winner in this deal with Barack and Hillary?
Brooks: clearly Obama
Matthews: no no no you have to say Hillary
Brooks: they're both fine
Matthews: no they're bickering hee hee
Parker: Obama just loves everyone and Hillary smacks the baddies around
O'Donnell: she's his hammer and everything looks like something she wants to nail
Brooks: she's has better political instincts like on Iran she and Biden wanted to say grandstanding shit
Matthews: isn’t her role make a deal with her many Israel friends
Page: they are both smarter than anyone on this panel
Matthews: [looks down] my shoes are on the wrong feet
Matthews: omg the President is black!
Page: Obama went to the NAACP but he wasn't going to go Yankee stadium - that's too black
Parker: good news borrowers are gearing up to create another bubble!!
Brooks: in the health plan there are taxes with no benefits in 2012 and looks bad
Matthews: Is Sarah Palin is going to be the next President?
Matthews: can she be the nominee in 2012?
Parker: um no
Page: she's fine until she runs against a sentient human
Brooks: of course she can she's adorable
O'Donnell: hell why not
Matthews: ha!
*********************************
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Meet The Press - July 12, 2009
Meet The Press
July 12, 2009
Guests:
Sen. John McCain
Sen. Chuck Schumer
**************************
Gregory: welcome back John I love you -
you’re my favorite failed politician
McCain: love you too Greggers
Gregory: ok the big story today is Dick
Cheney’s secret assassination squad
McCain: I know absolutely nothing about it
Gregory: so glad I invited you on the show then
McCain: who among us hasn’t run the
occasional gang of ruthless murderers?
Gregory: does it bother you that Congress
didn’t know?
McCain: well you know the head of the CIA
probably didn’t know either
Gregory: should we prosecute Bush and Cheney for war crimes
McCain: I more than anyone have spoken out
very forcefully against those practices
Gregory: so yes?
McCain: oh no no
Gregory: why not
McCain: because it hurts America’s image
to not cover up our crimes
Gregory: what about accountability?
McCain: the people who ordered torture get last pick of of the cocktail weenies at Georgetown parties -
I think they've suffered enough
Gregory: were you surprised that Sarah Palin announced she’s resigning?
McCain: no she was always a major flake
Gregory: why did she quit
McCain: she didn’t quit
Gregory: yes she did
McCain: maybe but only because she was attacked when people pointed out her lack of ethics
Gregory: it seems kind of loopy
McCain: look I respected her realizing she can
best serve people by staying out of government
Gregory: will you endorse her in 2012
McCain: well you know we have many strong
young firm attractive candidates
Gregory: so you won’t
McCain: hey give me a break - when I chose her
I didn’t know she was out of her mind
Gregory: everyone knows her brief VP campaign was a total train wreck
McCain: not true she gave great eye-twinkle
Gregory: in fact your whole candidacy sucked
McCain: Lincoln Roosevelt Reagan whaaaaaa
Gregory: Obama’s poll numbers are down
McCain: the people have finally realized since
that debt is bad
Gregory: But Reagan, George HW Bush and George W Bush are the greaest debtors in history
McCain: it’s generational theft!
Gregory: okay
McCain: it’s crazy Obama bailed out AIG!
Gregory: no that was Bush
McCain: the GOP wanted a stimulus package!
Gregory: oh what was it?
McCain: we called for tax cuts!
Gregory: Obama defeated you so I ask you
- is Obama a big liar?
McCain: no not really
Gregory: no tell me he is old man
McCain: ok fine Greggers he lied because unemployment is still high six months
after he was sworn in
Gregory: so you favor another stimulus?
McCain: yes we should cut taxes
Gregory: health reform?
McCain: cut taxes!
Gregory: small business are failing
McCain: because taxes are too high!
Gregory: how should we reform health care?
McCain: now we have gold-plated health care
and we should just give that to everyone
Gregory: how so?
McCain: by cutting out the gold-plating and
going with aluminum
Gregory: should we raise taxes 1% on the richest 1%
McCain: that would kill the American economy!
Gregory: so what is your solution?
McCain: because of lawsuits doctors are ordering too many damn tests - I mean what is this fancy new Roentgen image machine?
Gregory: Afghanistan still sucks
McCain: yes we need more troops
Gregory: what should we do in Iran
McCain: tell the people of Iran we are totally with them in their protest against the government
Gregory: so send them arms or aid?
McCain: oh no no no, just change the colors of
our twitter gravtars
Gregory: that seems like useless grandstanding
McCain: why do you hate Neda?
[ break ]
Gregory: did you all misread the economy?
Schumer: yes we didn't realize how terrible the
Bush economy was
Gregory: but you live in New York - how could
you get it wrong??
Schumer: hey they said we going to enter another Great Depression
Gregory: but the Republicans were right when they said you needed a bigger stimulus!
Schumer: no Dave they wanted a smaller stimulus
Gregory: only if you go by reality
Schumer: the stimulus is working dammit
Gregory: [high pitched voice ] but states are using the money to stave off disaster that seems so wrong!
Schumer: we just needed to get shovels full of
cash in the economy
Gregory: [whiny voice] but it’s so slow!!
Schumer: hey dipshit this is not a 4 month plan
it’s a 2 year plan
Gregory: but Obama has been President for 6 months and there’s still unemployment and debt!
Schumer: lucky for us Obama has a long-term perspective unlike some jackass Sunday morning talk show hosts I could mention
Gregory: how are you going to pay for health
care reform?
Schumer: well I have a lot of rich people in my
state so I want to cut costs
Gregory: would you raise taxes on the rich?
Schumer: oh noe!
Gregory: how about Sonia Sotomayor?
Schumer: she’s charming, smart, down to earth,
and makes a great paella
Gregory: should we prosecute torture just
because it’s a crime?
Schumer: let’s wait and see before we cover it up
Gregory: is Sarah Palin the future of the GOP?
Schumer: god I hope so
[ break ]
Gregory: holy shit Sarah Palin quit her job!
Simon: the GOP has collapsed like a supernova into a very very dense core of batshit crazy people and she speaks to them
Gregory: wow
Shrum: hell I'm sending her money
Simon: right now she could beat Mitt Romney
and Mike Huckabee
Shrum: Kim Jong-Il could be beat those two
Hughes: let’s be honest - this woman is a total whackjob
Gregory: that’s very frank Karen
Hughes: there’s a very fine line between clever
and stupid and she vaulted over it
Gregory: Andrea Mitchell she is so authentic she wears fishing waders at the National Press Club
Mitchell: it’s adorably mavericky
Gregory: so is she a quitter or a leader?
Mitchell: she would make a great President except she runs away whenever people criticize her
or her family
Gregory: but other than that she’s great
Mitchell: well also she’s not well-read and inexperienced
Gregory: can the GOP ever recover?
Hughes: the GOP plan is educating kids and providing health care
Gregory: that’s not what I heard
Hughes: since when
Gregory: since 1929
Shrum: the GOP is cheerleading for failure
Hughes: no we are all very concerned that
Obama has failed
Shrum: it’s fucking July morons!
Gregory: no he’s failed and there is no hope
and he’s a liar
Simon: Obama has given us a recession and ruined Bush’s surplus and the American people have given up on Obama and the GOP will rule America
for the next 25 years
Mitchell: it’s so sad how Obama has failed
Gregory: oh my god we’re all doomed!!!!
Shrum: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: [shreiking] aaaarrrrhhhhh!!!!!
Shrum: let me explain something you panicky twit - Obama will reform health care, grow jobs, gain seats in 2010, and he will be reelected in 2012
Mitchell: to be fair the plan did prevent a Depression
Hughes: oh no that was Bush giving tax money
to AIG
Gregory: so what did Obama do wrong?
Hughes: he keeps giving bailouts to big companies
Gregory: of course
Gregory: speaking of Ghana should we absolve Bush for all his war crimes?
Hughes: of course we should - but look Obama went to Russia totally failed to eliminate nuclear weapons and not solve global warming
Shrum: oh my god this is a remarkably stupid panel
Gregory: can we ever prosecute torture?
Shrum: yes if you fail to follow a John Yoo memo you must truly be a sick fuck
Gregory: when will know when Obama has
totally failed?
Simon: oh he already has - his trip to Russia, meeting with the Pope, and the rapturous crowds in Ghana were spectacular but less than triumphant
Gregory: there you have it - Obama’s failure
to triumph of has doomed us all
by Culture of Truth
*******************
July 12, 2009
Guests:
Sen. John McCain
Sen. Chuck Schumer
**************************
Gregory: welcome back John I love you -
you’re my favorite failed politician
McCain: love you too Greggers
Gregory: ok the big story today is Dick
Cheney’s secret assassination squad
McCain: I know absolutely nothing about it
Gregory: so glad I invited you on the show then
McCain: who among us hasn’t run the
occasional gang of ruthless murderers?
Gregory: does it bother you that Congress
didn’t know?
McCain: well you know the head of the CIA
probably didn’t know either
Gregory: should we prosecute Bush and Cheney for war crimes
McCain: I more than anyone have spoken out
very forcefully against those practices
Gregory: so yes?
McCain: oh no no
Gregory: why not
McCain: because it hurts America’s image
to not cover up our crimes
Gregory: what about accountability?
McCain: the people who ordered torture get last pick of of the cocktail weenies at Georgetown parties -
I think they've suffered enough
Gregory: were you surprised that Sarah Palin announced she’s resigning?
McCain: no she was always a major flake
Gregory: why did she quit
McCain: she didn’t quit
Gregory: yes she did
McCain: maybe but only because she was attacked when people pointed out her lack of ethics
Gregory: it seems kind of loopy
McCain: look I respected her realizing she can
best serve people by staying out of government
Gregory: will you endorse her in 2012
McCain: well you know we have many strong
young firm attractive candidates
Gregory: so you won’t
McCain: hey give me a break - when I chose her
I didn’t know she was out of her mind
Gregory: everyone knows her brief VP campaign was a total train wreck
McCain: not true she gave great eye-twinkle
Gregory: in fact your whole candidacy sucked
McCain: Lincoln Roosevelt Reagan whaaaaaa
Gregory: Obama’s poll numbers are down
McCain: the people have finally realized since
that debt is bad
Gregory: But Reagan, George HW Bush and George W Bush are the greaest debtors in history
McCain: it’s generational theft!
Gregory: okay
McCain: it’s crazy Obama bailed out AIG!
Gregory: no that was Bush
McCain: the GOP wanted a stimulus package!
Gregory: oh what was it?
McCain: we called for tax cuts!
Gregory: Obama defeated you so I ask you
- is Obama a big liar?
McCain: no not really
Gregory: no tell me he is old man
McCain: ok fine Greggers he lied because unemployment is still high six months
after he was sworn in
Gregory: so you favor another stimulus?
McCain: yes we should cut taxes
Gregory: health reform?
McCain: cut taxes!
Gregory: small business are failing
McCain: because taxes are too high!
Gregory: how should we reform health care?
McCain: now we have gold-plated health care
and we should just give that to everyone
Gregory: how so?
McCain: by cutting out the gold-plating and
going with aluminum
Gregory: should we raise taxes 1% on the richest 1%
McCain: that would kill the American economy!
Gregory: so what is your solution?
McCain: because of lawsuits doctors are ordering too many damn tests - I mean what is this fancy new Roentgen image machine?
Gregory: Afghanistan still sucks
McCain: yes we need more troops
Gregory: what should we do in Iran
McCain: tell the people of Iran we are totally with them in their protest against the government
Gregory: so send them arms or aid?
McCain: oh no no no, just change the colors of
our twitter gravtars
Gregory: that seems like useless grandstanding
McCain: why do you hate Neda?
[ break ]
Gregory: did you all misread the economy?
Schumer: yes we didn't realize how terrible the
Bush economy was
Gregory: but you live in New York - how could
you get it wrong??
Schumer: hey they said we going to enter another Great Depression
Gregory: but the Republicans were right when they said you needed a bigger stimulus!
Schumer: no Dave they wanted a smaller stimulus
Gregory: only if you go by reality
Schumer: the stimulus is working dammit
Gregory: [high pitched voice ] but states are using the money to stave off disaster that seems so wrong!
Schumer: we just needed to get shovels full of
cash in the economy
Gregory: [whiny voice] but it’s so slow!!
Schumer: hey dipshit this is not a 4 month plan
it’s a 2 year plan
Gregory: but Obama has been President for 6 months and there’s still unemployment and debt!
Schumer: lucky for us Obama has a long-term perspective unlike some jackass Sunday morning talk show hosts I could mention
Gregory: how are you going to pay for health
care reform?
Schumer: well I have a lot of rich people in my
state so I want to cut costs
Gregory: would you raise taxes on the rich?
Schumer: oh noe!
Gregory: how about Sonia Sotomayor?
Schumer: she’s charming, smart, down to earth,
and makes a great paella
Gregory: should we prosecute torture just
because it’s a crime?
Schumer: let’s wait and see before we cover it up
Gregory: is Sarah Palin the future of the GOP?
Schumer: god I hope so
[ break ]
Gregory: holy shit Sarah Palin quit her job!
Simon: the GOP has collapsed like a supernova into a very very dense core of batshit crazy people and she speaks to them
Gregory: wow
Shrum: hell I'm sending her money
Simon: right now she could beat Mitt Romney
and Mike Huckabee
Shrum: Kim Jong-Il could be beat those two
Hughes: let’s be honest - this woman is a total whackjob
Gregory: that’s very frank Karen
Hughes: there’s a very fine line between clever
and stupid and she vaulted over it
Gregory: Andrea Mitchell she is so authentic she wears fishing waders at the National Press Club
Mitchell: it’s adorably mavericky
Gregory: so is she a quitter or a leader?
Mitchell: she would make a great President except she runs away whenever people criticize her
or her family
Gregory: but other than that she’s great
Mitchell: well also she’s not well-read and inexperienced
Gregory: can the GOP ever recover?
Hughes: the GOP plan is educating kids and providing health care
Gregory: that’s not what I heard
Hughes: since when
Gregory: since 1929
Shrum: the GOP is cheerleading for failure
Hughes: no we are all very concerned that
Obama has failed
Shrum: it’s fucking July morons!
Gregory: no he’s failed and there is no hope
and he’s a liar
Simon: Obama has given us a recession and ruined Bush’s surplus and the American people have given up on Obama and the GOP will rule America
for the next 25 years
Mitchell: it’s so sad how Obama has failed
Gregory: oh my god we’re all doomed!!!!
Shrum: I heard you were a moron
Gregory: [shreiking] aaaarrrrhhhhh!!!!!
Shrum: let me explain something you panicky twit - Obama will reform health care, grow jobs, gain seats in 2010, and he will be reelected in 2012
Mitchell: to be fair the plan did prevent a Depression
Hughes: oh no that was Bush giving tax money
to AIG
Gregory: so what did Obama do wrong?
Hughes: he keeps giving bailouts to big companies
Gregory: of course
Gregory: speaking of Ghana should we absolve Bush for all his war crimes?
Hughes: of course we should - but look Obama went to Russia totally failed to eliminate nuclear weapons and not solve global warming
Shrum: oh my god this is a remarkably stupid panel
Gregory: can we ever prosecute torture?
Shrum: yes if you fail to follow a John Yoo memo you must truly be a sick fuck
Gregory: when will know when Obama has
totally failed?
Simon: oh he already has - his trip to Russia, meeting with the Pope, and the rapturous crowds in Ghana were spectacular but less than triumphant
Gregory: there you have it - Obama’s failure
to triumph of has doomed us all
by Culture of Truth
*******************
Sunday, July 05, 2009
This Week with George Stephanolpous with Joe Biden - July 5, 2009
This Week with George Stephanolpous
July 5, 2009
Guest: Vice President Joe Biden
*****************
Stephanolpous: Lindsay Graham says if you had told the Iranian government to “just stop it” they would have embraced the protestors and started wearing tie-dye clerical robes
Biden: he had a touching naïve faith in the innate goodness of the Iranian government
Stephanolpous: but will you rush into
giving more concessions?
Biden: no we would do that will that slowly
and with deliberation
Stephanolpous: should Israel attack Iran?
Biden: they can if they want
Stephanolpous: but the US gets to decide
what happens anytime everywhere
Biden: that’s your problem right there
Stephanolpous: North Korea has launched
more missiles than Macys
Biden: they’re very pretty
Stephanolpous: but the North Koreans
are making us look bad
Biden: yeah but they’re like that garbage
barge - they’re just sailing around and
no one will let them dock
Stephanolpous: are we just waiting for the crazy Dear Leader to die
Biden: he’s cuckoo for coco puffs
Stephanolpous: when do we win
the war in Afghanistan
Biden: hey gives time Bush got a free
ride for 8 craptacular years
Stephanolpous: but if we don’t win in one
Friedman Unit shouldn’t we just give up and leave?
Biden: oh I see now you all set deadlines
for success!
Stephanolpous: that’s right - these
are the Democrat rules now
Biden: I get it
Stephanolpous: the military says that
if Obama wants more troops the military
will say ‘what the fuck!’
Biden: oh fuck those fucking fuckers
Stephanolpous: oh so now you’re saying
the military is afraid of the evil military
hating dictator Barack Obama!
Biden: oh jesus fucking christ
Stephanolpous: your stimulus package sucks
Biden: oh but everyone thought Bush was merely a disastrous president instead of creating the worst economy since cavemen traded furs for sex
Stephanolpous: but Paul Krugman says you
need a new stimulus bill - bigger badder and uncut!
Biden: for god’s sake half the congress says
it's too big and now you say it’s too small - how many nobel prizes has Krugman won?
Stephanolpous: one
Biden: oh right
Stephanolpous: but the states are all failing and need your money
Biden: fuck em
Stephanolpous: you’re in charge of the economy, Iraq and the CIA - what does Obama do
Biden: dude looks good, smells nice and has more charm than a Mark Sanford love letter
Stephanolpous: you’re huggy and touchy feely
and he’s cold and logical
Biden: he’s the Spock to my McCoy
Stephanolpous: what is the deal with Sarah Palin?
Biden: isn’t it obvious - she’s fucking crazy
Stephanolpous: is she a victim of blood
sport vicious media?
Biden: no she’s just a total loon
Stephanolpous: Sarah Palin had another
GOP meltdown
Blankely: Palin is the most intuitive politician
in the entire GOP
Stephanolpous: in what possible sense?
Blankley: she has a great gut feeling for
what the weirdos want
Stephanolpous: oh my god are you kidding?
Blankley: hey people love her maybe she’s
better than the us elite DC beltway types
Dowd: she may have a great gut but there is
the tiny little problem of her being fucking nuts
Stephanolpous: interesting point
Dowd: you’re supposed to be the adult in the room and not quit just because a blogger said something bad about you
Blankley: look that’s not fair - she can’t save
America Obama’s fascism while she’s stuck
in motherfucking Alaska
Stephanolpous: can she ever come back
Will: um no - she is now not even a one-term governor of a backwater state
Tucker: she wants a career in national politics
but she’s petty, vindictive, shallow and stupid
Stephanolpous: yes but what’s the downside
Stephanolpous: her friends say she has a diagnosable mental illness
Purdum: he pals say she has narcissistic
grandiose personality disorder
Blankley: oh we are all narcissists now - besides look Nixon quit and after that he was elected President twice
Stephanolpous: and that turned out so well
Dowd: if she wanted to impress people she
could have stayed in government and accomplished something
Will: Republicans aren’t interested in that
Blankley: the GOP are in chaos and disorder which is all good news the GOP and all I know is the best pulsating GOP politician is Sarah Palin
Stephanolpous: oh my god you’re serious
Dowd: no he’s just pulling your leg - I think
Stephanolpous: Obama has ruined the economy
Tucker: that’s right all this is his fault for not having
a bigger stimulus and also adding to the debt with that horrible stimulus
Stephanolpous: do we need another stimulus package
Will: we already had a third one which Obama
made Bush pass in 2008
Dowd: Obama has lost 2 million jobs since January 20
Stephanolpous: wow global warming is also his fault too I suppose
Dowd: of course
Blankley: Obama will give America health care
and the people will turn on him for not turning the economy around
Stephanolpous: they have 60 votes now
Will: yes the Senate Dems have custody of the
whole country - but it’s like choosing between Debbie Rowe and Joe Jackson
Dowd: I’m very disappointed by Obama’s failure to reach out to the GOP since Al Franken won
Stephanolpous: it’s the saddest thing since Sarah Palin had the biggest public meltdown since-
Dowd: Mark Sanford?
Will: Zell Miller
Blankley: Tom Cruise?
Stephanolpous: I was going to say the YouTube Britney Spears Boy but those are good too
YouTube Britney Spears Boy: Leave
Sarah Palin aloooooone!!!!!!!!!!
************
Posted by Culture of Truth
July 5, 2009
Guest: Vice President Joe Biden
*****************
Stephanolpous: Lindsay Graham says if you had told the Iranian government to “just stop it” they would have embraced the protestors and started wearing tie-dye clerical robes
Biden: he had a touching naïve faith in the innate goodness of the Iranian government
Stephanolpous: but will you rush into
giving more concessions?
Biden: no we would do that will that slowly
and with deliberation
Stephanolpous: should Israel attack Iran?
Biden: they can if they want
Stephanolpous: but the US gets to decide
what happens anytime everywhere
Biden: that’s your problem right there
Stephanolpous: North Korea has launched
more missiles than Macys
Biden: they’re very pretty
Stephanolpous: but the North Koreans
are making us look bad
Biden: yeah but they’re like that garbage
barge - they’re just sailing around and
no one will let them dock
Stephanolpous: are we just waiting for the crazy Dear Leader to die
Biden: he’s cuckoo for coco puffs
Stephanolpous: when do we win
the war in Afghanistan
Biden: hey gives time Bush got a free
ride for 8 craptacular years
Stephanolpous: but if we don’t win in one
Friedman Unit shouldn’t we just give up and leave?
Biden: oh I see now you all set deadlines
for success!
Stephanolpous: that’s right - these
are the Democrat rules now
Biden: I get it
Stephanolpous: the military says that
if Obama wants more troops the military
will say ‘what the fuck!’
Biden: oh fuck those fucking fuckers
Stephanolpous: oh so now you’re saying
the military is afraid of the evil military
hating dictator Barack Obama!
Biden: oh jesus fucking christ
Stephanolpous: your stimulus package sucks
Biden: oh but everyone thought Bush was merely a disastrous president instead of creating the worst economy since cavemen traded furs for sex
Stephanolpous: but Paul Krugman says you
need a new stimulus bill - bigger badder and uncut!
Biden: for god’s sake half the congress says
it's too big and now you say it’s too small - how many nobel prizes has Krugman won?
Stephanolpous: one
Biden: oh right
Stephanolpous: but the states are all failing and need your money
Biden: fuck em
Stephanolpous: you’re in charge of the economy, Iraq and the CIA - what does Obama do
Biden: dude looks good, smells nice and has more charm than a Mark Sanford love letter
Stephanolpous: you’re huggy and touchy feely
and he’s cold and logical
Biden: he’s the Spock to my McCoy
Stephanolpous: what is the deal with Sarah Palin?
Biden: isn’t it obvious - she’s fucking crazy
Stephanolpous: is she a victim of blood
sport vicious media?
Biden: no she’s just a total loon
Stephanolpous: Sarah Palin had another
GOP meltdown
Blankely: Palin is the most intuitive politician
in the entire GOP
Stephanolpous: in what possible sense?
Blankley: she has a great gut feeling for
what the weirdos want
Stephanolpous: oh my god are you kidding?
Blankley: hey people love her maybe she’s
better than the us elite DC beltway types
Dowd: she may have a great gut but there is
the tiny little problem of her being fucking nuts
Stephanolpous: interesting point
Dowd: you’re supposed to be the adult in the room and not quit just because a blogger said something bad about you
Blankley: look that’s not fair - she can’t save
America Obama’s fascism while she’s stuck
in motherfucking Alaska
Stephanolpous: can she ever come back
Will: um no - she is now not even a one-term governor of a backwater state
Tucker: she wants a career in national politics
but she’s petty, vindictive, shallow and stupid
Stephanolpous: yes but what’s the downside
Stephanolpous: her friends say she has a diagnosable mental illness
Purdum: he pals say she has narcissistic
grandiose personality disorder
Blankley: oh we are all narcissists now - besides look Nixon quit and after that he was elected President twice
Stephanolpous: and that turned out so well
Dowd: if she wanted to impress people she
could have stayed in government and accomplished something
Will: Republicans aren’t interested in that
Blankley: the GOP are in chaos and disorder which is all good news the GOP and all I know is the best pulsating GOP politician is Sarah Palin
Stephanolpous: oh my god you’re serious
Dowd: no he’s just pulling your leg - I think
Stephanolpous: Obama has ruined the economy
Tucker: that’s right all this is his fault for not having
a bigger stimulus and also adding to the debt with that horrible stimulus
Stephanolpous: do we need another stimulus package
Will: we already had a third one which Obama
made Bush pass in 2008
Dowd: Obama has lost 2 million jobs since January 20
Stephanolpous: wow global warming is also his fault too I suppose
Dowd: of course
Blankley: Obama will give America health care
and the people will turn on him for not turning the economy around
Stephanolpous: they have 60 votes now
Will: yes the Senate Dems have custody of the
whole country - but it’s like choosing between Debbie Rowe and Joe Jackson
Dowd: I’m very disappointed by Obama’s failure to reach out to the GOP since Al Franken won
Stephanolpous: it’s the saddest thing since Sarah Palin had the biggest public meltdown since-
Dowd: Mark Sanford?
Will: Zell Miller
Blankley: Tom Cruise?
Stephanolpous: I was going to say the YouTube Britney Spears Boy but those are good too
YouTube Britney Spears Boy: Leave
Sarah Palin aloooooone!!!!!!!!!!
************
Posted by Culture of Truth
Friday, July 03, 2009
Gov. Palin Press Conference
Gov Sarah Palin
July 3, 2009:
I'm not wired to be normal politics and as usual and not just hit our head against the wall and make a difference for our priorities and also there's a full court press from the press and you need to pass the ball for victory and also you know also a good point guard needs to keep her head up to keep her eye on the ball of national security, freedom, energy and candidly and truthfully passing the ball so trust me and this is not politics as usual and millions of dollars have been wasted to allow me to be Governor also with prayer and fighting for children hell ya also the kids saw Trig understand we need each other and time is precious and we need more Trigs and in Kosovo and Germany we can learn from our selfless troops and they know life is short and build up their families and their states and our country and that's worthy and our public priority and first things first and I love my job and I love Alaska so I don't explain because it's not politics as usual also and I am calling an audible and looking north to the future!
**************
Posted by Culture of Truth
July 3, 2009:
I'm not wired to be normal politics and as usual and not just hit our head against the wall and make a difference for our priorities and also there's a full court press from the press and you need to pass the ball for victory and also you know also a good point guard needs to keep her head up to keep her eye on the ball of national security, freedom, energy and candidly and truthfully passing the ball so trust me and this is not politics as usual and millions of dollars have been wasted to allow me to be Governor also with prayer and fighting for children hell ya also the kids saw Trig understand we need each other and time is precious and we need more Trigs and in Kosovo and Germany we can learn from our selfless troops and they know life is short and build up their families and their states and our country and that's worthy and our public priority and first things first and I love my job and I love Alaska so I don't explain because it's not politics as usual also and I am calling an audible and looking north to the future!
**************
Posted by Culture of Truth
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