Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Meet The Press – April 26, 2015

Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R-AR)
Tom Donilon – Fmr. National Security Advisor
Micah Zenko – Council on Foreign Relations
David Boies
Ted Olson
Richard Engel
Doris Kearns Goodwin
Helene Cooper
Matt Bai
Cicely Strong
Garry Trudeau

Todd: wow a huge earthquake hit
Nepal affecting millions of third-world 
types and 17 western climbers on Everest

Engel: people are living outdoors
out of fear of aftershocks

Todd: that's shocking

Engel: a big aftershock hit
while I was in the airport

Todd: as if flying wasn't bad enough

Engel: people here are quite resilient

Todd: good for them

Engel: right now elites are asleep in the hotel lobby

Todd: just like the White House
Correspondents Dinner

Engel: meanwhile Everest is a mystery
no one knows what's going on there

Todd: thanks Richard

[ break ]

Todd: a drone strike killed two Americans
who joined al-qaeda

Todd: but when the CIA drone 
bombed the shit out of an al-qaeda 
site two hostages were also killed

Todd: the CIA has no idea who it's killing

Todd: they call them 'signature strikes'
which is when like go hey 'let's go
bomb that place why not''

Brennan: we're not killing as 
many innocent people as 
some people think we are!

Todd: Rand Paul used to filibuster
drone strikes and now he's running  
for President he doesn't care 

Todd: welcome Tom Donilon 

Donilon: hi Todd 

Todd: the CIA has absolutely
no idea who it's killing

Donilon: true the CIA kills people
but they were all bad

Todd: what a relief

Donilon: there has to be near 
certainty that the guys are bad

Todd: well they killed two hostages

Donilon: war is very foggy Chuck

Todd: I thought Obama was going
to greatly reduce drone killings

Donilon: define 'greatly'

Todd: is there any oversight?

Donilon: oh sure

Todd: really?

Donilon: the President has asked
for a review to figure why the
CIA keeps fucking up

Todd: good to know

Donilon: but you know the
drone program is a great program

Todd: doesn't it create more terrorists?

Donilon: oh not at all

Todd: really?

Donilon: I have no doubt if we did
not kill people with drones Americans
would be murdered in their beds

Todd: what about the Constitutional
rights of Americans killed by drones?

Donilon: look to be fair the CIA
had no idea they were killing them

Todd: oh that's okay then

Donilon: when you're opposing
American forces you don't get
Miranda rights – you get shot –
that's true in Pakistan or 
South Carolina or Baltimore

Todd: if the CIA knew Americans
were there would they have 
bombed the place?

Donilon: probably not

Todd: was this an intelligence failure?

Donilon: no because it was an al-qaeda base

Todd: but-

Donilon: but we didn't know there
were hostages there so that was a mistake

Todd: so it was a failure

Donilon: no it was a programmatic non-success

Todd: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Todd: do drones work?

Zenko: we've done hundreds of
drone strikes and there more
are terrorists than ever

Todd: they grow like weeds

Zenko: bombing your
garden doesn't help either

Todd: should I welcome 
our new robot overlords?

Zenko: robots can be useful because
they lack all human emotion and
have no bodily functions

Todd: just like Dick Cheney

Todd: but they scare me –
is there an alternative to drones?

Zenko: not if you believe in military force

Todd: oh too bad

Zenko: but we could avoid force and
combat terror using diplomacy and education

Todd: sounds wimpy

Zenko: anyway drones are
now the face of U.S. foreign policy

Todd: maybe it needs a facelift

Zenko: could be

Todd: what happens when
other countries start using drones?

Zenko: Britain already has drones

Todd: crikey

Zenko: so does Israel

Todd: oy vey!

[ break ]

Todd: omg 60% of Americans
approve of gay marriage

Todd: Ted Olson and David Boies
opposed each other during 
Bush v Gore but they fought together 
in favor of gay marriage

Todd: what happened in California?

Boies: the people of America
are now in favor of equality

Todd: what if the court just split the
difference and said a state can refuse
to let gay people get married

Olson: that's not equality Todd

Todd: perhaps not

Olson: it would deny their humanity

Todd: but what about states' rights?

Olson: this is America – individual rights
are more important than states' rights

Todd: but won't this lead to polygamy
and if so who will my three wives be?

Boies: that's silly

Todd: hey I saw Big Love

Boies: it's simple – you can't
discriminate based on gender

Todd: no wait that's too confusing

Boies: banning polygamy
is not discriminatory

Todd: but it sad for the polynomials

Olson: also being a polygamist is
not an immutable characteristic

Todd: what if I was born wanting
to be married to three women at once

Olson: take it easy Todd

Todd: can you win?

Olson: we got Ginsburg, Kagan, Sotomayor, Breyer and Kennedy

Todd: does it matter if it's 5-4 or 6-3?

Boies: civil rights cases should be unanimous

Todd: well it won't be

Boies: we got five justices and we'll take it

Todd: Asa make your case 
against gay marriage

Hutchinson: gays are very nice but
we should defer to state fears of gays

Todd: that makes sense

Hutchinson: the Constitution hasn't changed
but suddenly gays are everywhere!

Todd: you were going to sign a
discriminatory law but your son
dad said don't be an idiot

Hutchinson: we should be tolerant
of all people I just have a personal
conviction and belief that gay 
people should have fewer  
legal rights than other people

Todd: this gay things has moved really fast

Goodwin: discrimination and prejudice
come when you don't know someone
and when you get to know someone
it's harder to demonize them

Todd: it's a remarkable transformation

Cooper: you always hear people say
'I hated gay people until I found
out my son was gay'

Todd: what does the GOP
do about the gay in 2016

Bai: both parties are equally to blame
especially Democrats but now
Republicans are behind the times

Todd: omg there are allegations that
Bill Clinton got speaking fees and
Hillary gave uranium to Russia

Cooper: this feeds the aura of the
Clintons with the Lincoln bedroom of the 90s

Todd: so well put Helene

Cooper: why didn't they foresee this?

Todd: Jonathan Chait is a liberal
and he says the Clintons are greedy

Bai: no it's arrogance – they never admit
they are guilty of terrible crimes
which just shows how guilty they are

Todd: exactly – an truly innocent
person would say they are guilty

Bai: of course

Todd: Ron Fournier says they
fight their opponents which is terrible

Bai: exactly - why can't the Clintons be
more like Ron Fournier's best friend 
Karl Rove who would never go after his critics

Bai: the Clintons oppose their
critics which is just sleazy and baffling behavior

Todd: it's boggles the mind

Goodwin: Mitt Romney says it's
bribery and he ought to know

Todd: that's a crime!

Goodwin: she can't let a charge
like that just sit there – she must
answer her critics

Todd: exactly – why doesn't she fight back?!?

Bai: right – but also why are they
always going after their critics?

Todd: Asa isn't this terrible?

Hutchinson: it's an ungodly amount of money

God: wait a minute I love money

Todd: I was talking to Democrats
last night and secretly they hate
Hillary and will soon be rid of her

[ break ]

Todd: welcome Garry Trudeau

Trudeau: what's up Chuck

Todd: were you blaming the
murder victims of Charlie
Hebdo for their own deaths?

Trudeau: no but I didn't agree with cartoons

Todd: is religion a red line for you?

Trudeau: no but I will mock terrorists

Todd: where did Doonesbury come from?

Trudeau: I started in college
so I was winging it and got
kicked out of many newspapers

Todd: where does it belong?

Trudeau: I like it on the comics page
because that's where the readers are

Todd: I love the comics

Trudeau: I asked editors if abortion
and war belong in the comics page
and an editor wrote back say it
doesn't matter just be funny

[ break ]

Todd: hi Cecily

Strong: hello Chuck

Todd: grade the President

Strong: he did really well

Todd: it's hard to follow
the President isn't it

Strong: very much so

Todd: he told some of your jokes

Strong: heh

Todd: you seemed cool as a cucumber

Strong: I'm good at faking confidence

[ break ]

Todd: Asa what do normal people
think of the White House 
Correspondents Dinner?

Hutchinson: they don't like it but it's
nice to have Washington coming together
and congratulate itself for one evening

Todd: I miss the days when it
was just Washington DC and
there were no Hollywood celebrities

Goodwin: it good to have
politicians make fun of themselves

Cooper: I'm not allowed to go
– I'm so jealous!

Bai: I hate the whole thing

Todd: did you go?

Bai: of course

Todd: aha

Bai: Obama is the funniest
President of our lifetime

Todd: no George W. Bush was funnier

Bai: you think?

Todd: it's a shame he made
that funny WMD joke and 
everyone got mad and he  
was afraid to be funny after that

Bai: that wasn't funny Chuck

Todd: maybe not

Cooper: it definitely wasn't

Todd: and that's another