Face The Nation
March 29, 2009
Guest: President Barack Obama
Schieffer: the economy is clearly the most important thing right now - are we invading in Pakistan?
Obama: let me put it this way - i don't want to but i will
Schieffer: that sounds awesome
Obama: we have to get the people of Pakistan
on our side
Schieffer: what's your message to the people
of that nation?
Obama: we want to be your friend - so make war on the radical muslims or we will bomb you
Schieffer: isn't Pakistan a muslim nation?
Obama: that's why we also have a diplomatic approach
Schiffer: what's that?
Obama: sending them food, doctors, engineers
and 100 million bibles
Schieffer: but what if it doesn't work?
Obama: i know Bush failed but this is different
Schieffer: how so?
Obama: ‘cause I'm the President motherfucker
Schieffer: what about Afghanistan?
Obama: we are going to pour resources in there
- but not too many
Schieffer: so if we don’t succeed are you going send tens of thousands of more troops?
Obama: no I will declare failure and go home
Schiffer: how do we win there?
Obama: foreign aid and not just
Schiffer: can we leave Iraq now?
Obama: what are you kidding - no way
Schieffer: Mexico is getting crazy
Obama: well we’re sending them a shitload
Schieffer: so should we invade Mexico?
Obama: well let’s hold off on that decision til next month
Schieffer: should we bail out the U.S. auto industry?
Obama: maybe - but they have to promise not to
be such total fucktards
Schieffer: where’s my middle class tax cut??
Obama: it’s already in the stimulus bill for the next two years - just like I promised
Schieffer: really - that’s not the what the Republican
party told me to say
Obama: well Bobster maybe you should pay more attention
Schieffer: I want to ask you about the bonsuses
Obama: so ask me grandpa
Schieffer: the anger at AIG bonuses was terrible
- don’t you agree?
Obama: no I don’t Bobby
Schieffer: but but but the poor executives
Obama: fuck em
Obama: However I am focused on recovering the whole U.S. economy
Schieffer: did you read the bankers the riot act?
Obama: I told them had working single moms are paying their bonuses so they should show a little fucking restraint
Schieffer: what did they say
Obama: they said ok - from now only $10,000 wastebaskets
Schiffer: are you like Thomas Jefferson - a guy who hates being President?
Obama: Hell to the no! I love being a consequential President!
Obama: It’s Obama’s nation now - you all just live in it!
Obama: [ high fives Schieffer ]