Sunday, March 01, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - March 1, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show
March 1, 2009

Matthews: OMG Obama is actually going to withdraw from Iraq!!!

Mitchell: the Iraq war is no fun anymore -- it's time to fuck up Afghanistan!!!

Ignatius: Obama is going to do it thoughtfully - he's such a hypocrite!!

Cooper: we're remissioning and withdrawing at night

Matthews: Noctural remissions!!?!

Inskeep: NPR says our soldiers are teh best!!!

Tweety: will Obama stay in Iraq forever??

Mitchell: he promised he would withdraw and he will

Tweety: that's what all men say

Ignatius: this is Obama's Vietnam

Tweety: So he will stay for a decade and bloggers will be mad

Ignatius: no he won’t - how many ways do you have to hear it??

Matthews: Talk Taliban to me

Mitchell: Afghanistan is Obama's Korea

Cooper: Obama is going to Surge in Afghanistan and look for Al Qaeda

Tweety: maybe they’re on that island in Lost

Inskeep: We can't breathe too hard or we will destablize Pakistan

Ignatius: thank god Obama is going to tell the bloggers fuck off and join the DC consensus and realize there is no military solution in Afghanistan

Matthews: isn't that what bloggers have been saying all along?

Ignatius: yes but DC pundits believe that but want to stay anyway

Tweety: OMG Congressmen are Twittering!!!

bobgraham@tweety: oh man i wuz ahead of my time

Matthews: OMG has Obama already turned America around!?!

Cooper: the Stimulus will make Americans happy and shiny people

Inskeep: Obama is already a failure - even is the stimulus works because it will be government spending

Matthews: awwww

Inskeep: NPR says the deficits are bad!!

Mitchell: we have to give the banks a trillion dollars even though it's very unpopular

Ignatius: the good news prices have fallen so low things can't get any worse

Matthews: what's the bad news?

Ignatius: CEOs have no fucking clue what they're doing

Tweety: tell me things I don’t know!

Cooper: Bibi will reach out Syria

Tweety: he's from Philly!

Inskeep: Iran is like China - they will sell us crappy goods in exchange for us ignoring human rights

Mitchell: Our Vatican Embassy is too big and ugly so we hired a cranky dude to paint the ceiling

Inskeep: the only secure thing in the world in the US dollar

Tweety: [ waves dollar ] hoo boy!!

Obama: i will win over the Cantor!

Tweety: can Obama win anything?

Inskeep: who cares - Obama sucks

Mitchell: Obama will win when he eliminates social security

Ignatius: i want just the kids off my lawn

Matthews: watch me tonight on Celebrity Pundit Apprentice on CNBC 2!!

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