Meet The Press with John McCain - March 29, 2009

March 29, 2009
Guest: Sen. John McCain
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Gregory: what do you think of Timmy Geithner?

McCain: I like his plan and I really really want it to work unlike Rush Limbaugh however I also want to say “Generational Theft!”

Gregory: oh c’mon I brought you on to bash Obama!

McCain: I’m not an expert - I’m just a humble senile former POW

Gregory: true

McCain: but the government was very confused

Gregory: you’re calling *someone else* confused?

McCain: we need a special committee to find out why stocks don’t always go up

Gregory: did the Obama have too much outrage or not enough?

McCain: he wasn’t angry enough but also Bills of Attainder are bad

Gregory: that’s catchy - I’m amazed you weren’t elected President

Gregory: whisper sweet bipartisan nothings into my ear

McCain: Pelosi and Obama are acting like the Democrats won the election!

Gregory: do Republicans have any ideas at all?

McCain: we will someday - but in fairness Obama could have resigned and let me be President

Gregory: did Obama break his promise to govern as a Republican?

McCain: I dunno - but he’s mean to me

Gregory: Saint McCain you hate earmarks

McCain: I do

Gregory: President Obama lied!

McCain: Earmarks! Generation Theft! Healthcare! Pig Odor!!

Gregory: you seem upset

McCain: it’s all corruption - look at all the Republicans in prison!

Gregory: Truly Obama has failed

Gregory: you were bashed for saying the fundamentals are sound - wasn’t that very unfair to you?

McCain: to answer your challenging question - yes

Gregory: sir I demand you bash Obama’s big spending and raising taxes

McCain: ok - we must put our fiscal house in order

Gregory: truly you are brave

McCain: the Chinese are going force us to adopt their currency!

Gregory: wow that’s scary

McCain: I know!

Gregory: Obama says the GOP are total hypocrites

McCain: we need less spending now that a Democrat is President

Gregory: you’re wonderful - let me see the GOP budget

McCain: we’re working on it

Gregory: should we go into Afghanistan?

McCain: the best way to get out of Afghanistan fast is to double the number of troops there immediately

Gregory: what else?

McCain: tell the people a lot of American blood will be spilled

Gregory: what is victory there?

McCain: same as Iraq - a functioning puppet government that crushes it’s internal enemies

Gregory: Should we attack Pakistan?

McCain: yes also Iran, Syria and Alaska

Gregory: but Pakistan has nukes

McCain: that’s right - we can take ‘em for own our use!

Gregory: Should we invade Mexico?

McCain: Sure - Phoenix is now the kidnapping capital of the world

Gregory: ummmm…. What?

McCain: we should sent our best officials to solve this problem

Gregory: who?

McCain: Matlock

Gregory: how can my Republican party recover?

McCain: reach out to all those brown people and let a thousand flowers bloom

Gregory: what about new ideas?

McCain: more pudding!

Gregory: who are the future leaders of GOP party?

McCain: Palin, Jindal, and Pawlenty

Gregory: dear god

Gregory: will you support Sarah Palin for President?

McCain: I wish that crazy-ass weirdo and her dysfunctional family well

Gregory: my goal as host of Meet the Press is to replace the current record holder for appearances on the show who is an elderly Republican U.S. Senator with an elderly Republican U.S. Senator.

Audience: Truly you are ground-breaker Dancin Dave