Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Meet The Press with John McCain - January 6, 2008

Meet The Press with Tim Russert
January 6, 2008
Guest: Sen. John McCain

Russert: you're leading in New Hampshire!

McCain: yeah but most voters make up their minds at the last minute or play eeny miney moe

Russert: you used to be dead

McCain: true but that appeals to people in new hampshire

Russert: i really really, really, really like you

McCain: i know

Russert: you denounced George Bush

McCain: yeah but on the plus side only 3,000 americans were killed in terror attacks on his watch

Russert: that is impressive

Russert: katrina, iraq and spending - c'mon Bush sucks

McCain: i blame donald rumsfeld i don't know who hired that asshole

Russert: mitt romney says a you are a illegal alien lover and a tax raiser

McCain: yeah but when i was working with Reagan we also cut spending

Russert: so why all the debts in teh Reagan years?

McCain: supply side economics doesn't work

Russert: so why did you vote for Bush's tax cuts???

McCain: to win the GOP nomination stupid

Russert: but that makes you a flip flopping hypocrite!

McCain: no i consistently want to be president

Russert: so do tax cuts increase revenue?

McCain: no - Reagan agreed with me that Reagan was wrong

Russert: you love illegals and amnesty

McCain: it's not a reward for illegal behavior they must pay a small fine and admit they are brown

Russert: what else

McCain: round up 2 million criminals and send 'em home

Russert: tough talk

McCain: put all the burden on governors and make all americans carry a biometric card

Russert: so who gets to stay

McCain: all grandparents get to stay

Russert: nice

McCain: but we must secure Bush borders from other grandmothers

Russert: snap!

McCain: we must do all 12 million on a case by case basis

Russert: this is the least Straight Talk ever

McCain: um… that may or may not be true

Russert: what else

McCain: Tamper Proof Biometric Document to be carried by all Americans

Russert: even fat white journalists

McCain: well not you of course Timmy

Russert: you hate Mitt Romney

McCain: no i like the lying vindictive flip flopping bastard

Russert: will u run as an independent?


McCain: i will follow Osama to the gates of hell

Russert: why can't we catch him

McCain: it's Bill Clinton's fault

Russert: of course

McCain: he's using cyberspace to destroy America

Russert: would you trade Osama for Musharraf

McCain: throw in Dontrelle Willis

Russert: can we trust Musharraf?

McCain: sure he's a peachy guy but remember this is all our fault we boosted the Taliban

Russert: you sound like Ron Paul

Russert: should we have U.S. soldiers in Iraq for 100 years??

McCain: sure like we have in Kuwait or Japan

Russert: maybe some good musicals would come out of it

McCain: as long as Iraqis are fighting and dying it's all good

Russert: permanent bases?

McCain: yes! what is Jordan falls or returns to the Chicago Bulls?

Russert: that's a good point

Russert: if you had known Saddam had no weapons of mass destuction would still have supported the war?

McCain: yes because of the Oil -For-Food scandal in the UN - American soldiers should definitely die for that

Russert: yes or no??

McCain: yes -- but the point it that Bush was bad military strategist not just a bad leader and a bad president and a bad intelligence analyst and a bad liar

Russert: ok

McCain: he was one of the most brutal dictators in world history he took his citizens of the streets of his own cities and held them without trial and tortured people

Russert: that’s a bit harsh I’m sure Bush had his reasons

McCain: no Saddam - he was more evil than Hitler

Russert: is that why Reagan supported him so much?

McCain: Dutch loved the Mustache of Torture

Russert: Your new ad is batshit insane

McCain: Romney has never been a POW goddammit

Russert: he's a looser?

McCain: we're in danger from radical muslims!!!

Russert: but Reagan had no experience?

McCain: no he was a soldier fighting Communism for 30 years

Russert: George Bush had none

McCain: and look where that got us

Timmy: good point


Russert: Obama appears to be leading on change types and the young

Murphy: oh he's going to win people want change more than alleged experience

McMahon: he's a tidal wave if she loses here she's big trouble

Russert: he's got the all-important Bill Bradley endorsement

Murphy: he's showing electability it's amazing he's getting more friends every day

Russert: people don't like her

McMahon: likeability is winning it for him

Russert: but was that a dig from Obama?

McMahon: he was fine fatty

Murphy: they despise each other and he doesn't think she's likeable at all

Russert: Edwards went after Clinton all night!!? and Clinton went crazy!!!

Murphy: she's frustrated and Edwards is trying to come in second after all he's a young guy

Russert: he's 55!

Murphy: really? i thought he was like 29

McMahon: she's forcing it now that she's behind

Russert: Edwards went after Clinton all night!!? and Clinton went crazy

Murphy: she's frustrated and Edwards is trying to come in second after all he's a young guy

Russert: he's 55!

Murphy: really i thought he was like 29

McMahon: she's forcing it now that she's behind

Russert: she sucked on primary night

Murphy: it was a wax of horrors museum I blame Mark Penn he's a dick

Russert: Bill blames the media for putting a bullet in her brain

McMahon: shades of vince foster

Russert: spooky

McMahon: they are getting swamped by Obama

Russert: she turned us down this morning why??

Murphy: she's Ed Muskie in a Pantsuit

Russert: can Hillary to wait until Feb 5 to win something

Murphy: No - never

Russert: but if she wins NH?

Murphy: totally she's back in the game!

Russert: when do black voters get their marching orders?

McMahon: next Friday

Russert: Obama and McCain splitting the independent voters!

McMahon: they want authenticity and of course that's the true honest man John McCain

Russert: people hate candidates with big belt buckles

Timeh: why not Rudy?

McMahon: if not here then where McCain would take it all

Russert: but South Carolina is full of anti-mcCain crazies

Murphy: and Romney is from Michigan!

Russert: also Massachusetts and Utah

Murphy: Huckabee said we're looking for vertical leadership

Russert: Dog Whistle!!

McMahon: Obama transcends issues that's how into change he is and it's inclusive and hopeful optimism

Russert: nominees?

Murphy: Obama and McCain

McMahon: Ditto

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