Sunday, January 27, 2008

MEET THE PRESS - Guest John McCain - January 27, 2008

*********************************
Meet The Press
January 27, 2008
Guest: Sen. John McCain
*********************************

Russert: you hate Mitt Romney

McCain: he's flip flopped on the Surge which was the Greatest Thing Ever in the History of the Universe

Russert: that and pudding

McCain: that is good also

Russert: what else

McCain: if we listened to Mitt we would have a timetable and Al Qeada would now be having a parade down Times Square

Russert: is Romney a surrender monkey?

McCain: Hillary would withdraw from Iraq to me that is surrender

Russert: Mitt?

McCain: he said the Surge was apparently working

Tim: so?

McCain: it wasn't apparently working it was working

Tim: you're weird

Timmy: americans hate the war and you still love it

McCain: there is no doubt my favorite war has been mishandled

Tim: true

McCain: as long as i can show Americans a really fun occupation they will come around to staying for 100 years

Tim: what's a fun occupation?

McCain: M*A*S*H

Tim: the war was a mistake

McCain: no he used chemical weapons in 1986 so of course we invaded in 2003

Tim: naturally

McCain: the world is dangerous and scary and Saddam had a mustache

Tim: are you kidding

McCain: Oil for Food scandal!

Tim: that's it?

McCain: there will be genocide and chaos in Iraq

Tim: wow the war really was a good idea then

Tim: you lied in teh Debate. to me!!!

Russert: hey i attended the national war college

Tim: kappa delta killa

McCain: that was fun

Tim: you know nothing about the economy

McCain: hey carly fiorina endorsed me!

Tim: didn't they fire her ass?

Russert: you were against the bush tax cuts before you were for them

McCain: look this is very very simple i against cutting the taxes when they were tax cuts but now i am in favor of them because now they would be raising taxes

Russert: huh?

McCain: i was in favor of cuttting spending

Russert: the Iraq was free?

McCain: well teh oil was going to pay for it

Tim: how's that working for you

McCain: fuck you fatty

Russert: you changed your mind about the tax cuts

McCain: look i've said 500 times that i would only support them if i was running for the GOP nomination - i've been totally consistent

Russert: Ricky Santorum says you have an illegitimate puppy with a black lab

McCain: that bitch is lying

Russert: GOP hate you

McCain: yeah but i can beat Hillary

Russert: are and joe lieberman getting married?

McCain: i will embrace him anywhere and anytime and i am not ashamed to say it

Russert: your love has no bounds

McCain: i am proud to have him as a lover and a life partner

Tim: why do you love him so

McCain: he won't surrender to Al Qaeda like the hippies

Russert: illegal immigrants

McCain: all Americans will have to carry around a biometric ID card

Russert: what else

McCain: UAV, cameras, heat detectors, a wall and shoot on sight

Russert: how nice

McCain: ok look if you sign on to our Judeo-Christian crusade you can stay

Russert: will you be president

McCain: yes my friend when pigs fly

Russert: Rush Limbaugh hates you

McCain: i wouldn't share my Oxycotin stash with him at Davos and that fat fuck has never forgiven me

Russert: but GOP is against you

McCain: look i hate brown people and i want to kill more and more and more

Russert: so Rush should support you

McCain: right it's all about hate

Russert: thad cochran says you are an unstable lunatic

McCain: i've always loved him

Russert: why the hate

McCain: we had a bad breakup but i still love him

Russert: thad loathes you

McCain: he's an appropriator and pork barreller

Russert: Bill Clinton says you were Hillary's lover

McCain: i accept his endorsement

Russert: will it be boring

McCain: no we will talk about taxes and radical jihad

Russert: that sounds fucking dull

McCain: ha ha ha ha

McCain: we agree on everything except my zeal to kill exceeds hers

Tim: you have a different philosophy

McCain: indeed kill kill kill

Russert: South Carolina!!!

Todd: Bill drove blacks to Obama and whites to Edwards

Timmy: brilliant!

Todd: repuke of Clintons

Russert: little Caroline haz endorzed Barack

Dowd: it's huge it's like Obama is the real inheritor of the powerful JFK mantle and not Hillary or Bill

Russert: Byron York you look like you are down with the blacks voters

York: Who among us does not like to get jiggy with it?

York: i was talking to my Democrat friend and after surrending to al qaeda in the morning she went to volunteer for Obama

Tim: so sad

York: where the white women at?

Russert: they exploited his blackness and Bob Herbert is mad

Dowd: the Big Dog went right after him

Tim: he is really cool

Dowd: but who is really running here Bill or Hillary

Tim: good point

Dowd: the Onion nailed it

Tim: as they so often do

Russert: Leahy Daschle Kerry say Big Dog is too slobbery

Todd: dood this all about power - plus old personal feelings

Timmy: Politics is about power and snubs and dislikes

Todd: so true

Dowd: she is dependent on Bill

Timmy: i hate a marriage like that

Dowd: they will trash anyone even Alexander Hamilton had an affair

Timmy: they shot that treasury creating bastard

York's Hair: Obama can't rely on black vote anymore

Timmy: not that many chocolate cities

York's Hair: but Iowa is a marsmallow and he won there

Timmeh: people used to like Rudy and now they despise him -- why???

Todd: well people got to know him

Yorkie: no Rudy just had a very very poor strategy

Todd: yeah showing people who he is

Yorkie: so sad

Timmy: he really is a cheap crook isn't he

Dowd: what a fucking flameout the whole 9/11 legacy is trashed

Tim: so what happens now

Dowd: Guiliani Partners will grovel to the Saudis

Todd: Romney has to win in Florida or McCain will be unstoppable

Tim: can he win?

Todd: yes there are a lot of inbred morons in Florda

Timmy: Bill says McCain and Hillary love each other

Dowd: but he says she wants America to surrender

York: McCain is liberal loving jerk

Tim: so he's doomed

York: no because we all hate hillary so much

Dowd: Obama is not the daddy figure he's more like our Magic Negro Child

Tim: he's like the Webster of politics

Dowd: or Gary Coleman he's adorable

Todd: Bill spoke las night not Hillary that was weird

Dowd: it's the Rise of Billary - no can stop it and it can't be reasoned with

Russert: Barack is a black John Connor


Russert: thanks for coming loony

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