Monday, September 01, 2008

Meet The Press with Gov. Tim Pawlenty - August 31, 2008

Meet The Press
August 31, 2008
Guest: Gov. Tim Pawlenty

Brokaw: welcome to the son of Governor Pawlenty

Gov. Pawlenty: no i'm actually the governor

Brokaw: really?

Pawlenty: yep

Brokaw: Bush will not be attending the convention

Pawlenty: of course it would not make sense for a very unpopular President to attend in the middle of a hurricane

Brokaw: we can stipulate that Palin's a down-home regular person who's only knowledge of foreign policy is Russian fish and will be less than a heartbeat from the presidency

Pawlenty: we have a person as a potential Vice President who is a governor and very very well qualified

Brokaw: Palin isn't that good

Pawlenty: Tom I was talking about myself

Pawlenty: Palin is better than Obama after all she's white and an ovary-american

Brokaw: C'mon she's a fucking zero

Pawlenty: there are lots of idiot americans who have never done anything - shouldn't they have representation too??

Brokaw: McCain put his short-term interests ahead of the nation

Pawlenty: well that's his right

Brokaw: her own mother in law is voting for Obama

Pawlenty: Obama just graduated from college!!

Brokaw: not exactly

Pawlenty: hey Alaska is a very big place and she has guts and grit she Commanded the National Guard in the effort to wipe out the Polar Bear

Pawlenty: Male Hillary supporters are going to vote for McCain because of Palin and her hockey-mom-ness

Brokaw: with all due respect Governor i never heard a bigger pile of bullshit in my life

Pawlenty: hey if i was any good at this McCain would have chosen me

Brokaw: Abortion?

Pawlenty: Obama never gets asked about fetuses

Brokaw: he was last week liar

Pawlenty: oh well la la la la

Brokaw: She's a creationist wacko

Pawlenty: in terms of science it's not credible but why not teach it alongside evolution -- why not have the truth and myth and let the kids decide what is true?

Brokaw: I'm confused

Pawlenty: in my state we teach algebra and that 2 + 2 = 5 -- you know, both sides

Brokaw: The Economist says McCain is a fucking crazy

Pawlenty: no he's a Mavericky Maverick ask anyone

Brokaw: i'm asking you

Pawlenty: Maverick

Brokaw: anything else?

Pawlenty: Fuck John McCain for not choosing me

Brokaw: whoa

Pawlenty: oh that was a freudian slip i meant to say 'Maverick' and that slipped out

[ break [

Brokaw: kelly love yer pearls

Kelly O'Donnell: potential positive in a major hurricane destroying an american city is that McCain has a good excuse for making Bush stay away - also this can show how McCain will react to a crisis - aside from a eating a birthday cake of course

Brokaw: Doris give me your historical perspective on Norah Palin

Doris Goodwin: Sarah

Brokaw: whatever - who is she - we know she shot a moose

Goodwin: 1 out of 3 VPs become President and let's face it with McCain those odds are higher

Tom: wow

Goodwin: he's had a year to make this decision and for god's sake he's comes up with small town mayor??

Goodwin: i get it why he chosen but hunting and fishing is not a top qualification for being President in teh 21st century

Mike Murphy: first she helps with the looney base, and it reinforces the Maverickyness, but it does indicate he doesn't care about experience

Tom: after all Obama is the nominee not Biden or Michael Palin

Andrea Mitchell: she mentioned Hillary and Ferraro in her speech and got booed

Brokaw: well that went well

Andrea: she not only wants to stop everyone to have an abortion she is even willing to not have one too

Tom: wow how brave to be willing to force your beliefs on everyone else

Mitchell: it's a fascinating choice - it indicates that McCain is off his fucking rocker and has contempt for the American people

Baritromo: We must drill in Alaska Tom!!

Tom: ok mary cool it

Bartiromo: it's maria

Tom: that's what i said

Bartiromo: dammit the moose and bears and wolves love the pipeline they rub up against and have sex with it

Tom: home foreclosures and health care!

Maria: she says the Republican party has the advantage there

Tom: um was there a lack of oxygen during your interview

Maria: she showed me the places where they want to drill and it looked fine to me

Tom: is that all

Maria: no my taxi driver said she is great and she gave up a private chef

Tom: wow

Maria: i was very impressed with her knowledge of the need to drill and create jobs in Alaska

Gregory: he did this to make a grab for independents - i think it will work

Murphy: i don't believe in Pumas

Gregory: bite me

Murphy: she will help with gun owning blue collar nuts but not with wine drinking snobs

Brokaw: she has a very winning way about her

Goodwin: you mean she's hot

Brokaw: ayup

Gregory: she went into labor and boarded a plane - this is really cool!!

Brokaw: so of course she should be leader of the free world

Mitchell: right - they were going to chose Lieberman until they realized everybody in America hates him

Murphy: i want lukewarm independents not goldwater loonies

Brokaw: which is she?

Murphy: she's anti corruption creationist - she's both

Brokaw: let's talk about her looks some more

Gregory: she's proves that Obama is out of touch with the moose-killing American

Mitchell: Obama didn't pay for his promises!!

Brokaw: c'mon it was a great speech

Mitchell: it scared McCain so much he reached for some Alaska beauty queen

Brokaw: experience is off the table

Murphy: right now it's all about taxes taxes taxes

Brokaw: what else

Murphy: they will run on fear of Pelosi

Mitchell: the dems need to trot out Hillary again to counteract the force of Palin

Brokaw: omg she will never go away will she

Brokaw: Fred Barnes said she is not a feminist - is she a feminist??

Maria: no she is not

Audience: she is head of Feminists for Life

Maria: i thought she was so cute - she called her husband the "First Dude"

Maria: her husband is an oil guy with British Petroleum that will be play well with 'the masses'

Brokaw: Maria you are very condescending to a fictional group of imaginary lunch bucket blue collar folk

Maria: i'm sorry

Brokaw: no it's good that's the Tim Russert way - you will now be invited on the show every week

Maria: yay

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