rescue worker: I will never forget responding to that terrible bridge collapse which took place right near here
crowd: oh noes
rescue worker: cars were crushed, wires were down, concrete swayed as human body parts floated around me
rescue worker: i have never been more proud of being a republican - knowing that no hard earned tax dollars had been wasted to repair that wretched bridge
crowd: clap clap
rescue worker: which was too black and lazy to stay standing
worker: i turned to one of the crippled victims and i said thank god tim pawlenty vetoed that bill to fund infrastructure repair - this isn't the soviet union ya know
worker: and then she died knowing that liberals had not taken her freedom to choose to next time drive another bridge home - free market rulz!!
Hispanic: u may ask yourself why does a brown skinned democrat support a John Mccain when no one else does?
Hispanic: god told me to
Crowd: oh ok
Hispanic: john cleans the yards of hispanics in the barrios of arizona
Crowd: i think you have that backwards pedro
Hispanic: the Gospel of Matteo says embrace the least among you including the weak and broken and pathetic and the real losers and that is why i support john mccain!!!
Hispanic: John Mccain will control our uterus and hate the gays!! viva mccain!! heil McCain!!
Journalist: you shared a cell with McCain
Colonel: we shared a special love
Journalist: what was he like
Colonel: he was very funny
Journo: how so
Colonel: he told a joke about chelsea clinton that killed
Journo: can you believe it your former lover is going to be the nominee
Colonel: oh he's going to be President - you saw in Saddlebrook he's ready to lead adn to kill
Journalist: tell us somethign about him only you would know
Colonel: he's actually qualified to be President