Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Meet The Press with Chuck Schumer, Rudy Giuliani, & Bob Woodward

Meet The Press
September 14, 2008
Sen. Chuck Schumer
Mayor Rudy Giuliani
Bob Woodward

Tom Brokaw: Chuck this race is very exciting it's like the Kentucky Derby except the loser doesn’t die at the end

Chuck Schumer: looking at McCain I wouldn't be too sure about that

Brokaw: polls say Obama isn't ready to lead in a dangerous world

Schumer: nice of you to show the only 2 questions that benefit McCain

Brokaw: warble warble

Schumer: the big question is who can put meat and potatoes on the table

Brokaw: McCain leads among white women and the elderly and rural people

Schumer: so what

Brokaw: Obama’s lost Georgia O'Keefe

Schumer: change is our strong suit

Brokaw: Obama may not win north dakota

Schumer: one less inbred ice bound hick

Brokaw: Obama has a very scary background

Schumer: McCain is just like george bush on the economy and foreign policy - other than that things are great

Brokaw: but he got a big bounce from his convention

Schumer: well he could hardly go down

Brokaw: dude don't you always pick the most qualified candidate for vp

Schumer: yeah that certainly explains picking sarah palin

Brokaw: can hillary win the most important group of all - reagan democrats ??

Schumer: hey Palin is totally corrupt - she ordered all alaksa employees not to talk investigators - that's not change and reform you can believe in

Brokaw: you wanted Obama to get more aggressive - well look at this

Schumer: to his credit he's a nice young man but it's time to break out the baseball bats Brooklyn style

Brokaw: Obama is taking money from your Jewish friends

Schumer: speaking of money would care to wager a $1,000 on Obama/Biden

Brokaw: gotta go!

[ break ]

Brokaw: McCain said he would run a respectful campaign with no negative stuff

Giuliani: sure he's a POW

Brokaw: so Obama wants kindergarteners to learn to have sex?

Rudy: yeah!

Brokaw: ithat ad is a big fat lie

Giuliani: it was a horrific sex oriented muslim black ghetto bill - although maybe the ad did go too far

Brokaw: oh sure so why lie?

Giuliani: McCain has to lie about Obama because Obama won't engage in town hall debates

Brokaw: and if he does will you stop lying

Giuliani: ha you must be kidding Tom

Giuliani: he's a fucking black ghetto community organizer

Brokaw: his first job out of college was to help people who lost their jobs when a steel mill closed

Giuliani: they were probably black muslims

Brokaw: Jesus was a community organizer

Giuliani: there are all kinds of questions about saul alinsky and his marxism

Brokaw: what's so bad about that

Giuliani: he wants to deprive the federal government of revenue

Brokaw: oh no wait til grover norquist finds out

Brokaw: Warren Buffert isn't a marxist

Giuliani: well Obama is very sneaky he tricks people by trying to appear normal

Brokaw: is there a secret racist vote?

Giuliani: i speak for John McCain and he doesn't want any votes from anyone

Brokaw: today we light the last candle in High Holy Happy 9/11 Week

Rudy: amen and pass the ammunition

Brokaw: is linsday graham gay?

Giuliani: well look there are degrees of sexuality - i mean i like to dress like a woman

Brokaw: interesting

Giuliani: Obama voted for failure!

Brokaw: no he voted against George Bush

Giuliani: at least John McCain gave us a change to pretend we're winning

Brokaw: that’s very cosmopolitan

Giuliani: look John McCain was against the war all along

Brokaw: he's a Bush supporter!

Giuliani: oh all this idea that McCain is like Bush is wearing thin

Brokaw: I'm sure it is

Brokaw: does Palin really know more about energy than anyone else in America

Giuliani: hey she can see a gas station from her house!

Giuliani: no alaska is entirely run by black muslim russian Obama supporters

Brokaw: oh of course it is

Giuliani: i got nothin dude

[ break ]

Brokaw: According to your book Bush is completely detached moron

Woodward: and those are his good qualities

Brokaw: well the White House says your book is true but not entirely for instance bush drinks scotch not whiskey

Woodward: even when Bush is engaged he is lying to the american people

Brokaw: but Stephen Hadley said Bush has a unique insight in the region of the middle east

Woodward: yeah Hadley is one of the great amateur comedians of our time

Brokaw: sounds like bush is fighting for what he believes in

Woodward: well he believes in lying to get reelected in 2004 even more apparently

Brokaw: did Bush listen to Generals Casey and Abizaid

Woodward: oh no he dinnit

Woodward: i asked bush if he asked them about reality on the ground

Brokaw: and what he did say

Woodward: he said he'd been drinking heavily that day and couldn't remember

Brokaw: Bush does end-runs around his own Defense dept!

Woodward: it's really bizarre

Brokaw: Petraeus won't say we can achieve victory - why does he hate America??

Woodward: Iraq always has surprises - it is the gift that keeps on giving

Brokaw: what will Stupid tell President Obama?

Woodward: 'don't let Iraq fail like i have'

[ break ]

Brokaw: tell me about Iraq c-Todd

Chuck Todd: both nominees are all about Iraq but then again we also have a disaster in the economy so there is that

Brokaw: sounds like we must elect Republicans

Todd: of course

Brokaw: what do women want?

Todd: Ferraro gave a huge bump

Brokaw: wow without her Mondale might have lost 51 states

Todd: indeed

Brokaw: Palin Bubble?

Todd: she might be Amazon or the sock puppet

Brokaw: who wins in 2008 election?

Todd: the states are cementing into place except for wisconsin or the West

Brokaw: so Obama wins?

Todd: no he can win the whole west and lose Wisconsin or Michigan and he's screwed

Brokaw: so who win Michigan?

Todd: they say they hate the direction of the country, the economy, the war, and will vote for Dems

Brokaw: ok then

Todd: except for Obama

Brokaw: hmm i wonder why

Todd: too articulate

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Please do the Hannity/Palin interview... I could only force myself to watch 4 minutes of it before I had to turn it off. :(