Meet The Press
September 14, 2008
Sen. Chuck Schumer
Mayor Rudy Giuliani
Tom Brokaw: Chuck this race is very exciting it's like the Kentucky Derby except the loser doesn’t die at the end
Chuck Schumer: looking at McCain I wouldn't be too sure about that
Brokaw: polls say Obama isn't ready to lead in a dangerous world
Schumer: nice of you to show the only 2 questions that benefit McCain
Brokaw: warble warble
Schumer: the big question is who can put meat and potatoes on the table
Brokaw: McCain leads among white women and the elderly and rural people
Schumer: so what
Brokaw: Obama’s lost Georgia O'Keefe
Schumer: change is our strong suit
Brokaw: Obama may not win north dakota
Schumer: one less inbred ice bound hick
Brokaw: Obama has a very scary background
Schumer: McCain is just like george bush on the economy and foreign policy - other than that things are great
Brokaw: but he got a big bounce from his convention
Schumer: well he could hardly go down
Brokaw: dude don't you always pick the most qualified candidate for vp
Schumer: yeah that certainly explains picking sarah palin
Brokaw: can hillary win the most important group of all - reagan democrats ??
Schumer: hey Palin is totally corrupt - she ordered all alaksa employees not to talk investigators - that's not change and reform you can believe in
Brokaw: you wanted Obama to get more aggressive - well look at this
Schumer: to his credit he's a nice young man but it's time to break out the baseball bats Brooklyn style
Brokaw: Obama is taking money from your Jewish friends
Schumer: speaking of money would care to wager a $1,000 on Obama/Biden
Brokaw: gotta go!
[ break ]
Brokaw: McCain said he would run a respectful campaign with no negative stuff
Giuliani: sure he's a POW
Brokaw: so Obama wants kindergarteners to learn to have sex?
Brokaw: ithat ad is a big fat lie
Giuliani: it was a horrific sex oriented muslim black ghetto bill - although maybe the ad did go too far
Brokaw: oh sure so why lie?
Giuliani: McCain has to lie about Obama because Obama won't engage in town hall debates
Brokaw: and if he does will you stop lying
Giuliani: ha you must be kidding Tom
Giuliani: he's a fucking black ghetto community organizer
Brokaw: his first job out of college was to help people who lost their jobs when a steel mill closed
Giuliani: they were probably black muslims
Brokaw: Jesus was a community organizer
Giuliani: there are all kinds of questions about saul alinsky and his marxism
Brokaw: what's so bad about that
Giuliani: he wants to deprive the federal government of revenue
Brokaw: oh no wait til grover norquist finds out
Brokaw: Warren Buffert isn't a marxist
Giuliani: well Obama is very sneaky he tricks people by trying to appear normal
Brokaw: is there a secret racist vote?
Giuliani: i speak for John McCain and he doesn't want any votes from anyone
Brokaw: today we light the last candle in High Holy Happy 9/11 Week
Rudy: amen and pass the ammunition
Brokaw: is linsday graham gay?
Giuliani: well look there are degrees of sexuality - i mean i like to dress like a woman
Giuliani: Obama voted for failure!
Brokaw: no he voted against George Bush
Giuliani: at least John McCain gave us a change to pretend we're winning
Brokaw: that’s very cosmopolitan
Giuliani: look John McCain was against the war all along
Brokaw: he's a Bush supporter!
Giuliani: oh all this idea that McCain is like Bush is wearing thin
Brokaw: I'm sure it is
Brokaw: does Palin really know more about energy than anyone else in America
Giuliani: hey she can see a gas station from her house!
Giuliani: no alaska is entirely run by black muslim russian Obama supporters
Brokaw: oh of course it is
Giuliani: i got nothin dude
[ break ]
Brokaw: According to your book Bush is completely detached moron
Woodward: and those are his good qualities
Brokaw: well the White House says your book is true but not entirely for instance bush drinks scotch not whiskey
Woodward: even when Bush is engaged he is lying to the american people
Brokaw: but Stephen Hadley said Bush has a unique insight in the region of the middle east
Woodward: yeah Hadley is one of the great amateur comedians of our time
Brokaw: sounds like bush is fighting for what he believes in
Woodward: well he believes in lying to get reelected in 2004 even more apparently
Brokaw: did Bush listen to Generals Casey and Abizaid
Woodward: oh no he dinnit
Woodward: i asked bush if he asked them about reality on the ground
Brokaw: and what he did say
Woodward: he said he'd been drinking heavily that day and couldn't remember
Brokaw: Bush does end-runs around his own Defense dept!
Woodward: it's really bizarre
Brokaw: Petraeus won't say we can achieve victory - why does he hate America??
Woodward: Iraq always has surprises - it is the gift that keeps on giving
Brokaw: what will Stupid tell President Obama?
Woodward: 'don't let Iraq fail like i have'
[ break ]
Brokaw: tell me about Iraq c-Todd
Chuck Todd: both nominees are all about Iraq but then again we also have a disaster in the economy so there is that
Brokaw: sounds like we must elect Republicans
Todd: of course
Brokaw: what do women want?
Todd: Ferraro gave a huge bump
Brokaw: wow without her Mondale might have lost 51 states
Brokaw: Palin Bubble?
Todd: she might be Amazon or the Pets.com sock puppet
Brokaw: who wins in 2008 election?
Todd: the states are cementing into place except for wisconsin or the West
Brokaw: so Obama wins?
Todd: no he can win the whole west and lose Wisconsin or Michigan and he's screwed
Brokaw: so who win Michigan?
Todd: they say they hate the direction of the country, the economy, the war, and will vote for Dems
Brokaw: ok then
Todd: except for Obama
Brokaw: hmm i wonder why
Todd: too articulate