This Week with George Stephanolopous
September 20, 2009
Guest: President Barack Obama
Stephanolopous: are you going to raise taxes on middle class families?
Obama: the blood sucking insurers already impose their own vampire tax on every American!
Stephanolopous: that is true but-
Obama: we’re going to cover everyone and not add to the deficit
Obama: I’m going to nuke Maine and Montana
Stephanolopous: but the higher taxes!
Obama: we’re going to set up a pool for health care exchange with tax credits and make people have health insurance
Stephanolopous: that’s a tax increase!
Obama: no it isn’t
Stephanolopous: yes it is!
Obama: hey dipshit no one can opt-out health care in the ER so we all bear that cost
Stephanolopous: but Merriam-Webster!
Obama: you’re so fucking desperate to call it a tax increase you ran to the dictionary like a big baby
Stephanolopous: but your critics say-
Obama: -say I’m motherfucking Hitler and Stalin Mao and Kanye West all in one - who gives a fuck?!?
Stephanolopous: will you cut Medicare Advantage?
Obama: only for white people
Stephanolopous: are you very angry for Jimmy Carter saying there are racists when we all know racism is gone forever?
Obama: look idiot I know there are lot of racists and fools out there but I think even racists will take health care from a black man when they’re dying!
Stephanolopous: people are terrified you impose a White Person Tax
Obama: by the time my Presidency is done I’m going to get the Teabaggers join the fucking NAACP they’re going to love black people so much!
Stephanolopous: so you don’t hate your critics?
Obama: no we all love America and are all patriots
Stephanolopous: [ puts flag pin on forehead ]
Obama: nice flag dood
Stephanolopous: will you cut off funding for ACORN?
Obama: oh for pete’s sake - what a weasel you are
Stephanolopous: but ACORN-
Obama: no one gives a shit but Fox News asshole
Stephanolopous: ok Afghanistan
Obama: finally a real question
Stephanolopous: how do we win?
Obama: we’re going to crack some fucking skulls
Stephanolopous: tell me about when you realized you are a terrible president
Obama: not to be immodest but there have been times when I realized that I am a little too awesome
Stephanolopous: that must be hard
Obama: of course it’s hard to break through all the Nazi-talk
Stephanolopous: what do you mean
Obama: it’s easy to get on tv if you are rude and stupid
Stephanolopous: that’s not a nice thing to say about Charlie Gibson
Obama: fuck him
Stephanolopous: thanks for talking to me