This Week with George Stephanolopous - September 6, 2009

This Week with George Stephanolopous - September 6, 2009
Guests:
Robert Gibbs
Bob Dole
Tom Daschle
Rep. Maxine Waters
Rep. Mike Pence
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Stephanolopous: Bob Van Jones rang the resign chimes at midnight - is he the victim of a smear campaign?

Gibbs: yes

Stephanolopous: so why quit?

Gibbs: he’s too fiery and black

Stephanolopous: but Obama is black

Gibbs: well that’s all the country can handle
right now

Stephanolopous: Is Obama going to give us some health care details?

Gibbs: right he will draw more lines in the sand than Tom Hanks in Castaway

Stephanolopous: will he work his Jedi magic?

Gibbs: after that speech people will realize that these are not the health insurance reforms they are looking for

Stephanolopous: public option - yes or no?

Gibbs: look even if we enact it it will only an option for a small number of people - we won’t unfairly compete against the happy little insurance companies

Stephanolopous: then it sounds somewhat useless

Gibbs: the government will take the uninsurable off the insurers hands

Stephanolopous: ooh epic win

Gibbs: we’re close to reform and public option is a valuable idea

Stephanolopous: but he won’t veto it a plan
without it

Gibbs: he might

Stephanolopous: but then Obama won’t get
any GOP votes

Gibbs: well then the GOP will be fucked in 2010

Stephanolopous: Senator you are incredibly old and not in office - please bash Obama for me

Dole: this is a nasty 1200 page law - there’s no pudding or Matlock!

Stephanolopous: so what’s the answer?

Dole: back in 1994 we used to say 5 bees for a dollar and I was wearing an onion on my belt that was the style-

Daschle: Bob makes a lot of sense - we have an opportunity to improve health care and provide Americans with a full public pudding option

Stephanolopous: How is preemptively conceding defeat working out for you?

Daschle: oh it’s going great

Stephanolopous: Maxine you are very radical - only 80% of the people support a public option

Waters: with all due respect to Senator Ancient McOldypants I’m actually in the motherfucking Congress

Stephanolopous: Pence you are trying desperately
to stop reform

Pence: not at all - it’s just that my people hate the idea of government running a health plan

Stephanolopous: but the government won’t take over the health care system

Pence: but if you offer business the chance to put their employees on a good plan of course the small business will take it

Stephanolopous: so how is that bad?

Pence: you have no health insurance if your employer can cancel it at any time!

Stephanolopous: but that could happen now!

Pence: yes but all the current options suck so bad - people are stuck with the plan they have- but if a good option is offered they will be doomed to a good government plan!

Stephanolopous: what’s you solution?

Pence: just let people shop around for health insurance like hamburgers or video games

Dashcle: so you oppose it because it would
be popular?

Dole: no we also hate it because it would
hurt insurers

Waters: oh well ok then

Dole: I think we will get a lot of Republicans voting for this bill

Stephanolopous: even with a public option?

Dole: no

Pence: look the whole world is spiraling out of control - we’ve got government taking over national defense, health care for old people, a black president-

Waters: what’s in your bill?

Pence: ending lawsuits against doctors

Stephanolopous: Grouchy - you want Petraeus
for President

Dole: I dunno he reminds me of Ike - not well informed but he looks snappy in a uniform

Stephanolopous: good enough
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