September 13, 2009
HHS Secretary Sebelius
Stephanolopous: Tim are you really a
Pawlenty: no but Mitt Romney is an idiot so
that proves that Obama is a failure
Stephanolopous: I don’t follow
Stephanolopous: we need to recognize that the federal government lacks the resources to run a large scale health care system - they should leave that to sophisticated entities like Alabama
Sebelius: yeah that makes sense
Stephanolopous: can’t we just get rid of the
public health care option
Rockefeller: no we really need a public option - it’s the only thing that can work
Stephanolopous: Mary so what’s wrong with
a public option?
Landrieu: it would be too successful
Stephanolopous: why is that bad?
Landrieu: it would hurt health insurers who have given me a lot of money
Stephanolopous: what about President Snowe’s trigger idea?
Landrieu: no that is a bad idea too - we have to
give for-profit insurers to get this right
Stephanolopous: they haven’t had a chance for the last 50 years yet?
Landrieu: no they’ve been forced to act like rapacious blood-suckers but now we let them be nice - Free the Insurers!
Stephanolopous: abortions for none and
mini-American flags for all?
Pawlenty: we must force poor women to keep
their little fetuses
Sebelius: oh absolutely - it’s like we’re doing them
Landrieu: I agree with the fetus-americans but this is a real crisis - and it’s expensive and we must do something and we must do something now!
Stephanolopous: except an affordable public option
Landrieu: yeah except for that
Pawlenty: Why would we trust the same people who brought us Medicaid and Medicare to create more health care programs - that’s crazy!!!
Stephanolopous: but those are very successful
and enormously popular
Pawlenty: that’s my point - do you know how much this would hurt the Republicans?!?
Pawlenty: Obama wants to cut Medicare
for the elderly!!
Sebelius: that’s a lie - we’ve had sting operations
Stephanolopous: how did that go
Sebelius: it was great - it had Redford and Newman and a score by Marvin Hamlisch
Landrieu: we’re not going to cut money from Medicare
Stephanolopous: but what if Pawlenty is right
and you did?
Pawlenty: it just won’t work [ waves picture of Obama with Hitler mustache ]
Landrieu: jesus and people think I’m a hack
Pawlenty: Medicare is going bankrupt!
Rockefeller: the fucking Ophthalmology lobby
Stephanolopous: Rep. Wilson acted like a total jackass this week - so let’s spend time addressing his racist concerns
Sebelius: look the law requiring people to carry papers and language to create the new concentration camps for illegals is all spelled
out in the bill
Pawlenty: Republicans believe in small government - so we need a new national secret police force checking people’s identity papers
Stephanolopous: everyone would have to carry biometric ID all the time or risk dying in ER?
Pawlenty: no not all -- they would be arrested too
Stephanolopous: I don’t know if the American people will go for that
Pawlenty: why do you hate liberty and freedom?
[ puts on Lee Greenwood pin ]
[ puts on giant flag pin on his forehead ]
I’m just saying it seems to put the burden on
people to prove they are citizens which is not in the American tradition
Pawlenty: it would only apply to brown people
Stephanolopous: oh well ok then