Meet The Press - August 16, 2009

Meet The Press
August 16, 2009
Guests:
Fmr Sen. Tom Daschle
Sen. Tom Coburn
Frm Rep. Dick Armey
Rachel Maddow
Gov. Bill Ritter
Rep. Charles Rangel
**********************

Gregory: welcome panelists - did any of you
bring a gun this morning?

Armey: don’t leave home without it

Coburn: lock and load [ slides chamber ]

Gregory: ok ok

Gregory: Nazi references, swastikas, death threats, guns - this is all a bit disturbing

Coburn: indeed the fact that Obama is out of
control is very disturbing

Gregory: but these protestors are acting
utterly crazy

Coburn: but their actions are justified
- after all Obama is clearly a fascist

Gregory: you’re kidding right

Coburn: no

Gregory: oh my

Armey: look colorful people like Tim McVeigh
will always show up at town hall meetings

Gregory: good god

Armey: Besides Move On ran ads comparing
Bush to Hitler

Maddow: no they didn’t - that’s a lie

Armey: there’s nothing wrong with urging unhinged lunatics to think of the President of a tyrant who needs to be killed

Maddow: I can’t believe what I am hearing

Coburn: It’s all Obama’s fault for being the
first black Nazi President

Gregory: don’t you think this is appalling

Armey: well anyway this is all Nancy Pelosi’s fault

Maddow: Freedomworks is promoting violence

Armey: yes but when people are falsely accused
of promoting violence it makes them so angry they get violent

Maddow: right

Gregory: Chuck Grassley says the health reform
bill will murder old people

Coburn: the idea that government would have
any role in medical care is basically totalitarian

Gregory: I find your world view fascinating

Coburn: we need real health reform based
on the Bible

Greogry: you say you want a civil debate
- so you start off

Coburn: the Democrat’s health reform plan
will kill people

Daschle: I plan on writing a strongly worded letter
to Coburn about this

Gregory: Governor is Obama a failure?

Ritter: Obama is out there telling the truth and
it’s working

Gregory: but isn’t the real concern about deficit
and debt and raising taxes on wealthy anchors of Sunday tv talk shows?

Ritter: no, and the rumors have reached Colorado that you’re a moron

Gregory: [ high pitched voice ] Rachel, Obama
can’t guarantee that people will never lose their private insurance!

Maddow: even for you Greggers that’s stupid

Armey: I was reading this bill last night around a campfire with a flashlight under my chin and then as I was talking Obama called a patient
and he demanded $21,000 for a new liver!

Daschle: well since we haven’t passed the bill
yet that's the system you created Dick

Coburn: the health care system is awesome

Dashcle: not in life expectancy

Coburn: oh you can’t the success of a health
care system by how long people live

Gregory: 50 million have no insurance and it will
cost $1 trillion!

Rangel: I know!

Gregory: Charlie isn’t the crank in Montana right about raising taxes on poor tv anchors?

Rangel: jesus christ - fuck you Greggers

Gregory: ok but what about the plan

Rangel: I hope we do raise taxes on your
pasty white ass

Gregory: you scare me

Rangel: I’m glad because I don’t like you fluffyhead

Gregory: will Obama raises taxes on poor people?

Rangel: I’m sick of the hatred being churned up - why don’t the churches and mosques condemn it??

Gregory: that’s who you expect to calm people down?

Rangel: well they started it

Gregory: Tom Obama’s plan will bankrupt us
won’t it?

Daschle: if we don’t change we will spend $35 trillion

Maddow: or we could just save money by using
a public health plan

Armey: I’m scared to death of Medicare concentration camps

Maddow: you think seniors really want to get out
of medicare?

Armey: no they love it - but the idea of good health plan for the elderly is tyranny

Maddow: so just to be clear - you are fucking insane

Armey: there are secret internal memos which imprison poor people if they refuse free health care

Gregory: aren’t the insurance companies innocent victims of greedy hospitals with their fancy clean surgical instruments?

Daschle: um no

Gregory: speaking of which - isn’t the real problem lazy Americans getting free gold plated health care and therefore demanding a new needle for each person - why not just wash them?

Coburn: that’s right - we need to be more efficient
by privatizing Medicaid and letting people choose to die on their own

Gregory: a Death Panel of the Mind

Coburn: exactly

Gregory: isn’t a public option inherently unfair?

Armey: that’s right, it is - we need to let people from New Jersey buy insurance in Texas which is better because it covers gunshot wounds including if you are in debt to the mob

Gregory: wait til BlueCross finds out the mafia
is cutting in on their action

Maddow: hey dick, there is no state with secretly awesome health insurance

Armey: but this would hurt private insurance businesses

Maddow: good - they’ve failed

Insurance guy: but people might leave private insurers for the public option

Daschle: well that’s freedom

Coburn: look even if Obama’s plan is terrific in everyway it requires hiring new government employees which we cannot accept

Gregory: who’s ‘we’?

Coburn: me and the other people in my
apocalyptic cult

Gregory: Rachel, what will liberals accept?

Maddow: if Obama accepts less than a public option he will have riled up public anger and spent political capital for nothing

Gregory: Dick will Obama succeed?

Armey: no I don’t think he will

Gregory: and who would know better about
failing that Dick Armey?

Armey: right

Gregory: thank for watching
*************