Sunday, August 09, 2009

The Chris Matthews Show - August 9, 2009

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Matthews: OMG Republicans say Obama was born in a Muslim area of Kenya

Heileman: wow!

Matthews: did Obama open the door to being called a muslim-racist by nominating Sonia Sotomayor and saying Harvard professors shouldn’t be arrested for being falsely accused of burglary?

Heileman: Yes Obama gave his critics a permission slip to being called Adolf Hitler

Stengel: all these crazy slurs are the fault of the internet, YouTube, and Twitter - it’s the Heisenberg principle - when you view them you realize they are batshit insane

Parker: calm down - one guy creates a picture of Obama with a bone in his nose and suddenly everyone makes a big deal about it

Matthews: what are the cute little crackers in the south saying Kathleen?

Parker: People in the south are not racist - they just hate Obama because he’s black and call him a nigger

Matthews: that makes sense

Regan: Because unemployment is 9.4% people suddenly realized Obama is black

Heileman: Obama just can’t create a positive message for health care reform since people are out there screaming about how wonderful insurance bureaucrats are

Stengel: people love their health insurance - they don’t like Obama

Matthews: but if we have unemployment shouldn’t health reform be popular?

Parker: yes but we have a bad economy so naturally people don’t cheaper and better health care

Heileman: exactly people are terrified of losing their current health care so they don’t want the system reformed

Matthews: ah of course

Matthews: are the Iroquois going to go after Obama??

Heileman: people are angry at losing their jobsm health care and position in the world and they are taking their anger out on Barack Obama

Parker: they crazies are running the Republican party - it’s their baby now

Matthews: what happens when Obama fails on the economy - will they claim he’s from another planet?

Regan: I got a head’s up - they will argue he’s another species

Stengel: i don’t think he’s going to fail on the economy Chris

Matthews: Nixon / Palin 2012!

Stengel: Nixon was the awesomest guy ever - which proves that Obama can overcome the scandals in his past - such as being born in a radical British Indonesian muslim cult in the Congo

Parker: Nixon had great dignity like Sarah Palin - they both quit for the good of the country

Matthews: Bill Clinton is going to be a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!

Regan: the image of Clinton saving those girls in Korea it made me cry and then I remembered the blowjob and I hated him again

Matthews: can the Clintons ever come back to political success?

Heileman: um she’s the U.S. Secretary of State and Alaska his going to be renamed ‘Clintonland’

Matthews: who was a better President - Nixon or Clinton?

Parker: Nixon because he opened China and helped usher in a wonderful new era of burglaries, bugging, firebombing and murder

Heileman: exactly - how can the Clenis compete with that?

Matthews: tell me something I don’t know!

Regan: Obama has saved the economy - now I’m worried inflation is going to be out of control

Stengel: Obama is an obsessive and honest golfer

Parker: Palin is going win the nomination which scares Democrats and terrifies Republicans

Heileman: New York Governor Paterson will not run again

Matthews: why not?

Heileman: Because Andy Cuomo is widely disliked but the guy has balls of steel

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nixon had no trouble opening the door to China.

He had his foot, a chair, his bed and 12 elephants holdinghat door closed for 20 years.


Nixon was a bankrobber who held onto the keys to the vault until the guards went home.

Anonymous said...

Nixon had no trouble opening the door to China.

He had his foot, a chair, his bed and 12 elephants holding that door closed for 20 years.


Nixon was a bankrobber who held onto the keys to the vault until the guards went home.

report from the heartland said...

Hah!
OT: I see Frank Rich and MoDo both had to hate on the Clintons again today... their editors have to stop them. PLease please please. ALso,
MoDo thinks the blogosphere drove Palin batshit insane. Was this even possible?

DavidEhrenstein said...

Can I lick Andy Cuomo's balls?

D.R. Marvel said...

Just one of them, D.E. (your choice, of course...)