This Week with George Stephanopoulos
August 2, 2009
Guest: Tim Geithner
Stephanopoulos: Timmy is the recession over?
Geithner: if I do say so myself I a most excellent miracle worker
Stephanopoulos: so you’re done
Geithner: no we want people to have a McNugget in every pot
Stephanopoulos: but people still are unemployed
Geithner: first we’re going to have growth and then people will start spending and companies will start making stuff and then unemployment ends around 2013
Stephanopoulos: sounds good - so what should I be worried about?
Geithner: a Republican comeback
Stephanopoulos: 1 million people are about to lose their jobless benefits
Geithner: sucks to be them
Stephanopoulos: you’re spending too much and the U.S. is taking on too much debt
Geithner: hey we inherited a 1.3 trillion debt and all we got to show for it was a craptacular war
Stephanopoulos: will you raise taxes?
Geithner: yes, as soon as America is rich enough again to afford it
Stephanopoulos: when will that be?
Stephanopoulos: but America is broke!
Geithner: look people if you want a growing economy we have to raise taxes to lower the debts that Republicans are always going on about!
Stephanopoulos: will you enact health care reform that will please liberals like Grassley and conservatives like Max Baucus?
Geithner: momma always said congress is like a box of chocolates
Stephanopoulos: what does that mean?
Geithner: it means you can bite them all and it will make you sick
Stephanopoulos: stupid as stupid does
Stephanopoulos: Talk TARP to me, savant
Geithner: it’s going great - I made a $6 billion profit
Stephanopoulos: but has credit loosed up?
Geithner: here’s ten bucks George
[ hands him $10]
Stephanopoulos: thanks Tim
Geithner: definitely ten dollars definitely ten
[ break ]
Stephanopoulos: Alan you presided over the worst economy since the Goths sacked Rome
Greenspan: yse but giving away free billions to rich banks was a great idea
Stephanopoulos: what else
Greenspan: making stock investors rich because that trickles down to the little guy
Stephanopoulos: did cash for clunkers work?
Greenspan: I love the concept of trading in old inefficient destructive duds
Stephanopoulos: can we trade you in?
Greenspan: can I have some pudding?
Stephanopoulos: what about housing prices?
Greenspan: I think we have some underlying possibilities of potential things happening
Stephanopoulos: you’re delightfully cryptic
Greenspan: I’m chance the gardner I like to watch tv
Stephanopoulos: awesome Chauncey
Greenspan: I am optimistic with many caveats
Stephanopoulos: Should we raise taxes?
Greenspan: if we really want to save money we should force all baby boomers live on a commune in upstate New York
Stephanopoulos: they might like that
Greenspan: they can bring those crazy rock and roll records with them
Stephanopoulos: Should we have a value added tax?
Greenspan: the beauty is it raises money without overly impacting rich people
Stephanopoulos: what do you see in the future
Greenspan: there’s a lot of latent liquidity in the system
Stephanopoulos: so we have to raise interest rates?
Greenspan: I was talking about my prostate