August 23, 2009
Gregory: General I love your epaulets
Mullen: thanks Greggy
Gregory: have the American people lost the
stomach to conquer Afghanistan?
Mullen: maybe but lets not forget the guys in the caves still want to kill lots of Americans
Gregory: do we need more troops to defeat these crafty Afghans?
Mullen: could be
Gregory: but President McCain says we do
Mullen: actually Obama won the election
Gregory: what?!? [ starts sobbing ]
Mullen: calm down fluffy
Gregory: [ wipes tears ] so is General McCain right?
Mullen: if you mean is Matlock a great show -- then no
Gregory: Ambassador Eikenberry I love your cereal
Gregory: Ambassador how did Pat Buchanan manage to come in third in the Afghan election?
Eikenberry: I don’t know - it’s weird
Gregory: just out of curiosity are we ever going
to defeat the Taliban
Eikenberry: Afghanistan just had series of civil debates, peaceful rallies and respectful discussions
Gregory: wow if they really want to be
a model democracy they should bring guns to public policy debates
Gregory: General we’re rebuilding Afghanistan - I can’t believe President Obama invaded this country and supports all this nation-building!!
Mullen: yeah Greggers keep telling yourself it’s just like Somalia with that all liberal nation-building
Gregory: but you’re trying to reach out to the Afghan people and get them to like America - isn’t that
a recipe for disaster?
Mullen: hell I’ve been there years and this is the first time we’ve had a plan at all
Gregory: what kind of solace is that for the America people who have to live a with quagmire and
a black President???
Mullen: essentially in Afghanistan we’re starting
Eikenberry: we’re making progress
Gregory: but not victory - why do hate
the American Empire?
Mullen: I heard in remote Afghanistan that
you were a moron
Gregory: Iraq is violent - what’s up with that?
Mullen: I don’t know - but we’re getting the
hell out of there
Gregory: Should Americans be terrified of Al Qaeda?
Mullen: oh yes they could strike at any moment
[ break ]
Gregory: Senator Schumer do we really need a public option or can I persuade you to compromise and drop it
Schumer: we really need it because health care costs are rising and the private insurance industry
is a blood-sucking profit-seeking monopoly
Gregory: but people will lose their insurance!
Schumer: no they won’t
Gregory: but Rupert Murdoch had a headline
Schumer: Truly your sources are impeccable
Gregory: Obama is going to cave on the public option isn’t he
Schumer: no and I really don’t give a fuck if any Republicans vote for it or not
Hatch: Government plans are very expensive
- for example they pay doctors 20% less
Gregory: that makes no sense
Hatch: Medicaid and Medicare don’t work so why would we want another one?
Gregory: so what’s your best argument?
Hatch: I don’t think the government should control everything all the time
Hatch: the government shouldn’t take over
the health care system
Hatch: if Ted Kennedy were able to he would call me up and say let's save grandma and reject Obama's plan
Kennedy: [ from hospital ] fuck you you goddam ninny
Hatch: 119 million people will lose their
Gregory: that’s a lie
Hatch: well the truth varies all over the place
Gregory: is Obama caving or not?
Schumer: no fluffybrain
Hatch: New York is not Wyoming!
Gregory: what about co-ops
Schumer: they suck
Hatch: we have 300 million people in this country and only a few who don’t have health insurance and most of them are illegal aliens or rich people who refuse to buy health insurance
Gregory: that’s an interesting argument
Hatch: If we get the government involved in the United States we will bankrupt the country
Gregory: Chucky will you push this through
with only 60 votes?
Schumer: well no Republican will vote for health reform - they said so
Gregory: is health care Obama’s Waterloo or
his Mamma Mia?
Hatch: if we make employers give health insurance then we will kill all poor people
Gregory: what is the Republican approach?
Hatch: to send old men on tv and rant and
rave about Germany and France
Gregory: and what else
Hatch: to whine about passing laws undemocratically with only 51 votes
Gregory: that sounds like a great strategy
Schumer: some say we should have single-payer and others say there should be no reform - let’s compromise and have a robust public option
Gregory: Talk health care to me
Scarborough: The Dems own this is city
- why don’t they just enact what they want?!
Smiley: Dancing Dave you would cry if Obama
did not reach across the aisle and be all bipartisan and shit
Scarborough: Obama has not reached
out to conservatives enough
Smiley: Obama is caving sadly
Scarborough: he owns the team and the arena!
Gregory: supporters of the President say crack some Democratic skulls and get it done
Smiley: sure but David Broder would have him impeached if he didn’t reach out to Republicans
Gregory: I’m concerned that Obama hasn’t reached out to Republicans enough
Smiley: we should hold all Democrats responsible for the conservatism of Blue Dogs
Gregory: I asked Tom Coburn if killing the President was a good idea and he said oh sure if he proposes a flawed health care plan
Smiley: that’s fucking crazy
Scarborough: both sides are screaming at each about things most people don’t understand like public option, evolution or gravity
Scarborough: people should not be carrying guns to rallies - the fringe makes us all look nuts
Gregory: fringe lunatics like US Senator Coburn
Gregory: Obama seems to be failing
- what should he be doing?
Scarborough: go LBJ on their asses
Smiley: Martin Luther King wouldn’t have wobbled and Obama is fucking wobbling
Gregory: and thanks for fucking watching