This Week with George Stephanopoulos
August 9, 2009
Stephanopoulos: the big news this week is that people who want to fix a completely broken heath care system are just like Adolf Hitler
Gingrich: liberals have a civic duty to listen to people scream and yell and sit there and not do anything
Stephanopoulos: that sounds like disorderly conduct
Gingrich: no, I don’t think any of them were
black Harvard professors
Stephanopoulos: why are these protestors so angry
and threatening violence?
Gingrich: they are very upset at Nancy Pelosi’s use of parliamentary procedures in the House
Stephanopoulos: of course
Gingrich: we have to let people get their all insane violent rage out of their system and them we can have a return to democracy in September
Stephanopoulos: Howard is all this anger
Dean: Sure it is - but the point is this is not democracy it’s pure thuggery
Stephanopoulos: but those thugs only have
a few friends on Facebook
Dean: It’s not my fault no one like Republicans
Stephanopoulos: but that proves that this is genuine
anger at the horrible stimulus bill
Dean: Even Republicans love handing out
Stephanopoulos: Dean you hate health care so much you went after Ben Nelson who after all is a very nice white man
Dean: well I think giving health insurance companies $60 billion a year is insane - why not give people the choice to join a government-run plan?
Gingrich: no we can’t do that because I have verified proof that Medicaid is totally corrupt
Stephanopoulos: what is your proof?
Gingrich: I wrote a book called
“Medicaid Is Full of Crooks”
Stephanopoulos: well that clinches it
Gingrich: also we can’t have single-payer because Indians are treated badly
Stephanopoulos: Veterans get good care - except for the mold and electric showers
Gingrich: Medicare is basically a
private insurance program
Gingrich: also members of Congress refused to join the voluntary program even though
they would force every American to enroll in the government-run health system against their will
Stephanopoulos: I find your incessant
Gingrich: wait there’s more
Gingrich: the government plan would save businesses trillions of dollars which would
force Americans into a system so popular people would hate it
Dean: I should point out right now that Newt is
a cheap lying smear-merchant
Stephanopoulos: we all know that
Dean: how many times can I say it - no one is going to be forced to join the public health system if they don’t want to
Gingrich: but if it’s good system people will *want* to join it - which will hurt private insurers, which means people will lose their private insurance, which is bad!
Gingrich: the only way the public system can work if it’s so bad no wants to use it!
Stephanopoulos: of course
Dean: this bill is a huge win for small business who will be able to offer their employees health insurance!
Stephanopoulos: but the Senate won’t pass
a public option
Dean: yes they will - 4 committees already have
Stephanopoulos: but you need 60 votes to
pass the Senate
Dean: no, you need 51 votes
Stephanopoulos: only if you use Democracy and not Bipartisanship
Gingrich: this is why Americans are so terrified - they know it is the hallmark of fascism to pass laws by majority vote
Gingrich: this is life and death!
Dean: didn’t you divorce your wife when she was in
the hospital with cancer?
Gingrich: liberals caused Susan Smith to
drown her children!
Dean: ok buddy
Gingrich: you can’t strip a tiny minority in the Senate of its god-given right to obstruct legislation
- it’s un-American!
Stephanopoulos: makes sense to me
Gingrich: I talked to Chuck Grassley yesterday and he made it very clear that in the alternate universe where people give shit what he thinks a public plan is unacceptable
Gingrich: we must avoid rationing!
Dean: lying fuck
Gingrich: cost control would cause for-profit health
providers to go bankrupt
Stephanopoulos: what’s your health reform solution?
Gingrich: a tax on Kenyan-Americans
Stephanopoulos: noted Republican and Crazy Person Sarah Palin says she doesn’t want Obama
to murder her baby
Gingrich: so you’re in favor of murdering children?
Stephanopoulos: no one is proposing that
Gingrich: The Government has a noted history of killing innocent people - just look at Iraq, Gitmo
and New Orleans
Stephanopoulos: are you totally insane?
Gingrich: the bill is 1,000 pages long - who knows if a plan for an American Auschwitz is buried on page 400 next to Unicorns for Liberals and making
Bigfoot a Senator??
Dean: oh I agree entirely
Stephanopoulos: [ put face in hands ]
Dean: I practiced medicine for years and the only bureaucrats killing people worked for health insurance companies
Gingrich: well of course how else do you expect them to make money - by just giving medical care to every person who walks through the door or
who has been paying premiums for years?
Dean: well maybe health care shouldn’t be based
on making a massive profit!!
Gingrich: see you want to put health insurers out of business and then people won’t have health insurance
Dean: they don’t have it now!
Gingrich: no, they have health insurance they just don’t have health care
Dean: oh for fuck’s sake
Gingrich: it’s Howard’s dirty time of the month
Dean: you're a loony
Stephanopoulos: thanks for watching everyone